Meeting Destiny (7 page)

I didn’t want to hurt him, and I didn’t want to be alone either. I struggled for several long minutes knowing that I should tell him now, before he got his hopes up that something would change. Deliberating on how to break it to him didn’t give me the courage I needed, and like so many times before, I folded. “Seth, I don’t want you to go.”

Those seven words were probably the very worst thing I had ever done to him. Selfishly I let him believe that my feelings for him were changing, just so that I wouldn’t have to be alone. This was the lowest I had ever felt, and I knew that when I tried to fix the damage of those seven words, he would be devastated.

“
I won’t, I promise you. You will feel the same, you just need a little more time.” He clung to me for what felt like hours, never loosening his grip. Just as I could feel dawn arriving through the window, I felt him slide his hands gently along my sides. His eyes remained closed, but his gentle hands were comforting. I rotated my torso down to kiss the top of his head. He finally released my body from his grasp and gave me a look I had not seen before. Neither of us spoke for a long while.

The last several hours had been excruciating. I didn’t sleep at all and with each passing hour the certainty that there was no way to keep from breaking his heart became all too clear. I was just being selfish. How could I tell him that I would never feel that way about him? I knew it in my heart, but was too chicken just to tell him the truth.

His eyes were clear, the dark circles under his eyes faded, and he seemed to be excited about something. I braced myself for what he might say next and the likelihood of this moment being the time I would have to rip his heart from his chest. “Lauren, I need to run an errand, do you have any special requests for me to pick up while I’m out? Maybe a greasy double cheeseburger or something?” His decision to leave for a while and offer to get me a bite to eat took me further by surprise, and the relief I was feeling had to be written on my face.

“
I’m always up for a greasy cheeseburger. If you’re near Tasty Burger, stop by and tell everyone that I’m doing okay.” Seth got up, stretched his arms high into the air and then leaned into me with a smile, put his lips to my ear, and whispered, “I miss you already.”

As Seth approached the door to exit, Mom walked in. I could see her surprise at seeing Seth. He gave her a quick hug and told her I was doing better, that he would be back soon.

She watched him disappear through the door, “Well, I guess I don’t have to ask you how you’re feeling. There is a spring in his step, so you must be in pretty good shape! Did he spend the night here after all?”

“
I think so, I woke up sometime after midnight and he was in the chair.”

“
I’m so glad, Lauren. I didn’t want to leave you alone last night in this place. I’m glad Seth is less fearful of your wrath,” she added with a smile. “Where is he off to so early?”

“
I dunno, he just said he had an errand to run and asked if I wanted a cheeseburger.”

She shook her head at me and added, “Well, you must be doing well if he’s running errands and getting you greasy food. You know how he hates fast food.”

“
Dad says to tell you he loves you. Can I get you anything? Fluff your pillow, rearrange your flowers?” She was so nervous she couldn’t even make eye contact with me.

Without sounding too abrupt, I asked, “Okay, Mom, I can tell when something is eating at you. Are you going to share it with me willingly or do I need to pull it out of you?”

“
I’m fine. I’m glad to see you aren’t as groggy as yesterday. Do you feel better?” She seemed upbeat, but I could tell she had something she desperately needed to say.

“
Mom, why do you do this? You know I can read you like a book. What’s wrong?”

Her nervous smile subsided, and she admitted defeat, knowing that trying to hide anything from me was fruitless. “Oh, Lauren, we are all so worried about you. What with the television crews camped outside the house and the entrance to the hospital…The phone has been ringing non-stop; I had to call the phone company to put a block on our line for incoming calls. The police have come by the house several times to give us updates on their progress. They have a man in custody for shooting you.”

“
Really, the police caught him already? That’s great! When?” No one had talked to me about the shooting since it happened, and I was thrilled with this tidbit of information.

“
A few hours after it happened, I guess, while you were still in surgery. The mayor’s office called and wants to give you some sort of an award. The police said they need to take a statement from you when you are up to it. I have to confess I’m a little frazzled. Coming to the hospital to see you is the most peaceful part of my day.”

I knew she was telling me what was on her mind, but she still didn’t hit the part that was bothering her. “There’s more that’s bothering you than phone calls and interviews. What else?” I hated dragging it out of her. I wished she would just get it over with and tell me why she was so upset.

“
I never could hide anything from you, could I? I look at your indifference to the whole situation - I just don’t know if I should hug you for being so brave or shake you for putting yourself in that kind of danger. What could have possessed you to jump in front of a man with a gun?”

The way she described it, I did sound reckless. “I’m sorry, Mom,” my voice hardly audible.

“
I’m not looking for an apology, I just don’t understand. What possessed you to do such a thing?”

“
I wasn’t trying to be a hero. I just knew that guy was dangerous and frustrated with the little kid standing by him. It didn’t seem like all that much of a stretch. From the time I was little you told me never to back down from a bully.” The regret I had felt a minute ago was quickly consumed by my conviction that I had made the right decision in an extremely bad situation.

“
I never expected the bully you decided to stand up to to be a man with a gun. Sometimes you’ve got to think things through before you act. You came pretty close to getting yourself killed.”

“
I know I made the right choice. It’s not like I planned it. I didn’t know I had even been shot until after Wanda locked down the restaurant and carried me to a booth. So, obviously, I wasn’t jumping in front of a speeding bullet; I was just trying to keep the man from attacking a little kid.” Dark irritation was seething through every pore in my body. “Do you know what height a four year old is? Right there,” I pointed directly at my bandaged leg. “His heart was at my mid thigh, right where I was shot. Now what’s worse, me taking a bullet in a leg or a child never living long enough to make it to kindergarten?”

Fury with her grabbed hold of my entire body. It was difficult to keep from shouting at her. I was sorry I had ever asked what was bothering her. “I’m a little tired, do you mind giving me some room.” I felt my eyes swelling up with tears.

As I did my best to maintain my enraged stare, she looked at me like I had just crossed some imaginary line that our relationship might never recover from. I continued to stare at her, my wrath refusing to subside, “Really Mom, I don’t want to talk about this again, ever.”

Her hurt wasn’t masked in the slightest. She took a step back, and stood for a long minute looking at the floor and mumbled very low, “I almost lost you.”

My words still full of fury, “Well, you didn’t…but calling me an idiot won’t win you any points.”

Again with an expression that looked like I had just slapped her on the face, “I never said you were an idiot, Lauren. Your life is more important to me than a child I’ve never met.” She paused, knowing this conversation had taken a turn she never saw coming and desperately wanted out of. “The news stations are asking for an interview. Do you feel up to it today?”

“
No, give them Wanda’s number.” A light tapping at the door that hung wide open caught my attention. I didn’t recognize the two men at the door who were waiting to be invited in.

My mom pivoted in place and asked, “Can I help you?”

“
I’m sorry to disturb you, ma’am, but I’m Detective Pothier, and if Lauren is feeling up to it, we’d like to ask her a few questions about the events two nights ago.” I motioned for them to come in, and they began what I’m assuming was a well-rehearsed, “soft” interrogation. I shared with them all the details, and, until we got to the part where I was sure a door had slammed, they didn’t take any notes and really didn’t appear to be paying much attention. It turns out everything I relayed matched statements they had already taken from witnesses. Detective Pothier chuckled a little, “You really thought someone had slammed a door?”

The embarrassment I was feeling had to shine through, but I simply nodded and finished the remainder of the interview as quickly as possible. During the course of the fifteen minutes it took to relay the events to the two police officers, my mother had excused herself, so it was just the three of us in the room.

The detective leaned toward me, “Kid, before we got here we already had all the information we needed from eye witnesses. This was merely a formality for the file. Everything you have told us precisely matches the other statements we have taken, well, except for the slamming door. Everyone else seemed to know it was a gun shot,” he added with a snicker. “I’m sure you know we have a suspect in custody who says he’s prepared to make a statement that, I believe, will corroborate absolutely everything we’ve learned the last two days.” The detective closed his notebook and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but if you were a man, I could only describe you as someone with balls of steel. I have had the privilege to witness courage throughout my life, but you take the cake.” The look on his face made my chest swell with pride. This wasn’t some desk jockey. This was a veteran police detective telling me how courageous I was. My first inclination was to invite my mom back into the room and ask him to say it again.

A little self-conscious from his kind words, I was only able to follow with, “Well, thanks.” The two detectives both wished me a quick recovery and politely excused themselves.

My mind spun a little on the detective’s choice of words, specifically the one word.
Courage.
My reoccurring dream haunted me again – Max’s voice echoed in my mind.

“
Lauren, it is vitally important, you must find me. You will not be able to find me until you are on the path to attaining courage. Once you find me, all the information that I share with you now, is locked away from me, hidden in my human unconscious mind. You will have to follow your instincts, choose your paths wisely. I know you will recognize me. In all our previous lifetimes you have found me. Once you have conquered courage and we are on our journey together, other obstacles will present themselves…”

I got goose bumps on my arm and couldn’t help but let my imagination take hold. There was no way this was a coincidence. Was it some sort of prophecy? A million different ideas began to run through my head, not the least of which was even possible. Max wasn’t just in my dream, he really was my destiny. The robbery fulfilled it. My courage brought me to him, just like my dream foretold.

How could someone I had never met come to me in a dream, and tell me about my future? Then when I met him, he was completely unaware of the future he had told me about. Worse yet, that future wasn’t possible because he was already committed to someone else. To top it all off, Seth was in love with me and thinks I feel the same way about him. I closed my eyes in an effort to settle my mind from spinning out of control. All of this had to be a trick of some kind that my mind was playing on me. It had to be.

Seth didn’t return until late that afternoon, coming in with a suspicious look as he walked to the side of my bed. He put the chair back where he had left it this morning and sat down. His wariness was evident and he simply took my hand and sat beside me.

With some effort he asked me, “How’re you feeling?”

“
Good, what have you been doing all day? I was expecting you hours ago. Did you remember my cheeseburger?” After the detectives left, I had been left to my imagination for hours, and it was a thrill to have an actual person to talk to. Continuing to analyze my destiny dream had only yielded more questions that I would likely never be able to answer. I was beginning to come to the conclusion that the dream, though very oddly timed, was nothing more than that, a dream.

My subconscious saw a handsome paramedic and began filling in details that I didn’t have. His eyes were beautiful, but in my dream, he was sitting across the room from me in the dark; I would never have seen his eyes, no matter how many times I had the same dream. The adrenaline and heart racing was most likely a response to our first meeting, a little like Pavlov’s dogs. Having Seth here allowed me to stop over-analyzing the entire situation and was a good way to get back to reality.