Authors: Nancy Straight
“
Uh, sure, I guess so. What time?”
“
I can send a squad for you at 11:30. Will that work?”
“
Do you need me to have Rachael come, too?”
“
She’s next on my list. I’ll give her a call and see what her schedule is. I’ll see you around lunch time.”
That was a little odd, but the timing turned out to be just a coincidence. In the back of my mind I was worried that my phone was bugged or something – paranoia is usually from a guilty conscience. Lying to Paul’s mom about my identity was nerve-racking enough, but to have Officer Johnson call me five seconds later was enough to make me swallow my tongue.
Max was at work and it was just me in his apartment: I might never have a better opportunity to snoop. Not that I thought he would mind my curiosity, at least that’s what I told myself.
His living room was neat and tidy, a little small for all the furniture he had in it. He had a matching sofa, love seat, reclining chair, coffee table, two end tables and a television. It was cramped by Martha Stewart’s standards, but cozy just the same. The furniture was in great shape, like he really didn’t spend much time here. There were no magazines, books, notepads, or even a phone book. The room actually reminded me of a model room in a furniture store. It made me giggle when I looked around for the cardboard television. There weren’t any pictures on the walls, and the mantel over the fireplace was bare. Max had told me he only kept this apartment to sleep in, and I have to say that I found nothing to dispel that in looking at the place.
I made my way into the kitchen, which looked like it was assembled at one store. There were four plates, cups, glasses, and sets of silverware; only three pans in the entire inventory. I opened the refrigerator to find nothing but leftover take out and condiments. There weren’t any knickknacks or personal items in the kitchen either. The bathroom was clean and the door was open to Max’s bedroom.
Max’s bedroom consisted of a bed and a dresser. I took a peek in his closet and saw nicely pressed uniform shirts hanging at attention and slacks just to the side. This really was only a place to sleep, so where did he keep all his things? As I stepped back toward the living room, a frame setting on the edge of his dresser caught my eye. I stepped back into his bedroom and was surprised to see me smiling back at myself through the frame. I recognized the picture as the one the media showed when they mentioned my name. It must be one that my parents gave them several months ago. From the clarity of the print, it had to have been downloaded and printed from the internet. Though the likeness was definitely me, I made a mental note to get him a picture that didn’t look like it came out of a newspaper. It was touching to be the only personal item in his entire apartment.
I opened several drawers in the kitchen before I found paper and a pen. I wrote:
Max,
Thanks for letting me sleep. I’ve got an errand with the police tomorrow at noon, so I’ll call late in the afternoon. Have good dreams, I hope to see you there.
Love,
Lauren
I left his keys on the counter. It was thoughtful of him to leave me his truck, but I might not see him tomorrow and didn’t want to leave him stranded. Given the hour, I knew the bus wasn’t the best idea, and I didn’t want to call my parents to pick me up. I opted to phone a cab and only had to wait a few minutes for it to arrive. The ride home was less than ten minutes, and just as Officer Johnson had warned me, there were several news vans parked on the street. I handed the cab driver the money for the fare as well as a healthy tip. I took one more look out the window before I reached for the door. I saw Seth at his living room window. Remembering what Rewsna had foretold, I decided I would sprint to his door rather than mine.
I reached his door and thankfully it was unlocked. I quickly let myself in before anyone parked outside spotted me. Seth had seen me running from the curb to his door and was standing up, a bit surprised. I asked, “Hi, what are you doing?”
“
I should be asking you the same thing. You’re in the wrong house.” His miserable tone was unmistakable. I looked to where he had been sitting and could see a photo album sticking out from underneath the cushion of the couch. I was hoping he was looking at photos of his father or something, but I knew better.
“
I came to see you, so I’ll ask again, what are you doing? Or should I rephrase, what’re you doing at home on a Sunday when there’s no classes tomorrow?”
“
What do you care? I thought you were at Mr. Wonderful’s place.”
“
I was at Max’s house, but he had to work, so I thought I’d spend some quality time with you.”
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Well, I guess it’s a comfort to know that I’m a close second.” His comment was sharp and it was accompanied by a glare.
Not wanting him to think his attitude was acceptable, I threw in, “Who said it was even close?”
“
So did you come here for any particular reason?” His glare hadn’t subsided. I knew his words were meant to stab me, but I let it roll right off. In my mind our weeks of isolation from each other should have had more of a healing effect. It looked like I was way off the mark on that assumption.
“
Actually, I’m here to take you out. Get dressed, let’s go.”
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I’m not going anywhere with you.” It was now crystal clear to me that there was a reason I hadn’t seen Seth much in the last few months. His moping around and sadness had now given way to anger and disdain. This wasn’t going to be easy.
“
Seth, my dear, the love of my life - I made a horrible mistake and I have come to salvage what is left of us,” sarcasm seethed from every pore on my body, it was unmistakable…except to Seth.
He took a step toward me, barely choking out, “Really?”
“
No, you bonehead, get dressed, we’re going out. I’ll make a fool of both of us in front of at least four television network crews if you tell me
no
one more time. Now get a move on.”
“
Lauren, look…I appreciate that you….you feel sorry for me and everything, but this isn’t a good time for me.” His overcast mood was dismal and something inside me told me that this was the night he had to get out.
“
You idiot, if I felt sorry for you I would send you roses or something. You’ve been my best friend my entire life, I had a pretty outrageous day, and I need to go blow off some steam. If you haven’t noticed, I seem to be a magnet for peril lately, and I don’t want to go out by myself. You don’t have to hold doors open for me, buy me dinner, or even talk. You’re welcome to sulk quietly; you are not, however, permitted to let me go for a night on the town by myself. Now for the last time, go get dressed.”
I was gauging the likelihood that my outburst would net anything other than a glare and me getting tossed out his front door. It was my responsibility to kick him in the butt and get him out of the house. He responded with more of a hopeful tone, “Not tonight, maybe tomorrow.”
“
Yeah, I don’t think so. Tomorrow night will be a school night, so tonight is the night. Let’s go. If you want to wear your sweats I’m okay with it, but the chili stain on your t-shirt’s a little distracting.” I obviously should have done this a few weeks ago. I can fix this, I know I can. I softened my tone a little, “Please Seth, I just want to spend time with you, even if I know you don’t want to spend time with me. One last time for old time sake, then if you never want to see me again, you can go back to pretending I’m invisible.”
Reluctantly, Seth nodded. It was a cheerless victory, but at least I’d get him out of the house. He walked past me to the hallway that led to the stairs. I sat where he had just vacated and reached for the photo album he had tucked under the cushion. When I opened it and saw nothing but pictures of him and me, I felt terrible. I half expected them to be torn up or have burned edges.
Twenty minutes passed and he finally emerged from the same hallway he’d disappeared into. He looked great, wearing a shirt I had bought him, very flattering jeans, and to my surprise a willing smile. He held his arms out and turned around saying, “How do I look?”
“
Very handsome! So where do you want to go?”
“
Are you kidding me? You don’t know where you want to go? You practically crow-barred me off the couch making me feel guilty for not wanting to go, I finally agree, and you don’t know where you want to go?” Annoyance was seeping from him now, and I was worried he might turn around and go upstairs to bed.
“
Okay, let’s go to Club 21! They have a deejay tonight and it should be a blast.” I nearly shouted at him, hoping my energy might get him back in the mood for an adventure, then the realization of our situation hit me, and I asked, “Any ideas on how we’re going to sneak past the news vans?”
“
I parked the car in the garage, so as long as the top is up, they shouldn’t give us a second look.”
Seth was right: no one noticed my arrival or departure. I phoned my house when we were a few blocks away so my parents wouldn’t be worried about me. It was a thirty minute drive to the club, and the awkward silence I was expecting never materialized. Seth had accepted a job in North Carolina at some sort of ranch. We would graduate in a few weeks, and the day after his diploma was in hand he intended to be gone. I couldn’t help but feel responsible for his desire to leave so quickly, but he didn’t solidify my intuition. He just told me about his plans and never once brought up the fact that we would be separated physically for the first time in our lives in just a couple weeks.
We pulled up in front of the club and found a parking spot just down the block from the entrance. Still talking about his summer plans, we found ourselves at the club’s entrance and went inside. Our identifications were checked at the front door, and we were both stamped with bright red ink with the word “over” indicating we could drink alcohol. Club 21 allowed young adults in but marked eighteen to twenty year olds with the “under” stamp. Seth pointed me to a table while he went to the bar to get us both drinks.
The uncomfortable feelings of grief, sadness, awkwardness I had anticipated just weren’t there. We were friends, out for an evening catching each other up. I looked into the eyes of every attractive female in the place, so many that I’m sure I gave a few of them the creeps. Seth seemed not to notice any of them. Conversation with him was easy, but my mission tonight was definitely not only to repair our broken friendship, but to steer him toward his future. After three hours of dancing, laughing, and screaming over the music to one another, I thought this had been a great idea, but this was not where we were going to meet whoever he was going to meet. We decided to go and get some fresh air.
Seth, without thinking consciously about it, wrapped his arm around me as we walked. Not wanting to screw up our sudden truce, I didn’t protest but was sure he had felt me tense up at his touch.
When we pulled into Seth’s garage, one lonely news van was parked in the street. I didn’t see any lights or movement in it, so my assumption was that it had been strategically parked for tomorrow, with its occupants home for the evening. “Well, I’m going to head home. Thanks for going out tonight. I had a great time.” As I turned to head out the garage’s side door, Seth reached for my arm and stopped me.
“
Wait,” I could hear it in his voice, and I knew I didn’t want to let him utter anything else. “I…had…a good time, too. Do you have plans for tomorrow?” His wishful thinking was a bad sign, and I knew my plan to get him out of the house to meet some, “Miss Wonderful” had been too heavily veiled.
“
Um, yeah, I have some things to do with the police, then I’m going to meet up with Max. I’ll see you later.” The inertia from my body trying to make its way to the garage door wasn’t enough to get him to release his hold on my arm. Not wanting to destroy any of the progress we’d made tonight, I opted to look at his hand rather than his face. “You’re going to have to let go.”
In barely more than a whisper, “Lauren, whatever I did wrong, I know I can fix it. I miss you. I miss us. Don’t leave.” The hopefulness in his voice was nearly unbearable, and I heard Renswa’s voice echo in my head again.
I couldn’t simply rip my arm out of his grasp, but knew that if he saw my eyes, he’d know there wasn’t even a glimmer of a chance for the two of us. He wouldn’t open his heart to another. I couldn’t tell him the truth about Max being my destiny, could I? Definitely, no. He was as straight-laced as they came, and if I shared with him anything I learned from Rewsna, he wouldn’t believe it.
I decided to give him as much truth as I thought he could handle, “Seth, you’re my best friend. I know that isn’t what you want to hear. I know you believe that isn’t enough. I also know there is someone out there who is the right girl for you - I’m just not her. I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have. I want you still to be in my life…but as my friend.”