Meant To Be (29 page)

“Okay.” Frank followed the paramedic. “Will you meet us there?” He sounded desperate.

“Of course. I’ll lock up your house, and I’ll be right behind you.”

Daniel didn’t wait for the ambulance to pull out of the driveway before he rushed into their house. He wanted to lock up and get home so he could go to the hospital. His heart was pounding like a jackhammer, but his brain was clear, racing ahead with thoughts of what to do next. He scanned the foyer and saw Frank’s keys on the hall table. He shoved them in his pocket and walked toward the front door. As he was about to leave, he noticed the small suitcase by the staircase.

The large purple flower nametag told him it must be Marienne’s. He reached down and turned it over in his hand. He was right.
It must be the bag she packed last week.
He picked it up, flipped the lock on the doorknob and closed the door behind him.

He hadn’t felt the cold on his way over, but he did now. He was barefoot and wearing a t-shirt and sweats. The icy ground burned through the soles of his feet, making his legs ache. His whole body was cold and shivering, and he could still hear Marienne screaming in his head.

He tore upstairs, pulled on jeans and a sweater and grabbed his wallet. It was all strangely reminiscent of the time he’d driven Marienne to the hospital when she thought her water had broken.
That turned out fine.
He attempted to quiet the panic he was feeling.
She has to be fine. The baby has to be fine.

He pulled socks onto his frozen feet, remembered to take Frank’s keys, then ran back down the stairs. Shoving his feet into the first pair of shoes he found, he fumbled through his coat pockets and quickly found his car keys.

Please let her be all right.

****

Daniel made it to the hospital in record time. He parked and rushed inside. He remembered exactly where to go. The flashbacks were coming rapid-fire now, the sensations of fear and nausea returning, the hospital smell making him cringe. He tapped his hand on the elevator keypad as each number lit. It seemed like an eternity before the door opened.

As he headed toward the nurses’ station, he saw Frank in the waiting area.

“Is she all right?” he asked. The frightened, overwhelmed look on Frank’s face scared the shit out of him.

“I don’t know.” Frank appeared dumbfounded.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Daniel realized he needed to get a grip. He needed to be calm not only for Frank, but also to get information about what was happening.

“They rushed her in and examined her real quick. Said she needed a c-section right away. They said I could stay, but I couldn’t do it. So much blood.” Frank’s voice trailed off.

Daniel’s mind sped ahead.
C-section right away.
That doesn’t sound good. Said I could stay, but I couldn’t do it? What?
“You left her?” Daniel was aware his voice was rising, but he was too horrified to control it.

“I couldn’t stay. There was so much blood. I’m no good with this hospital shit.”

Daniel paced back and forth, his mind flooding with thoughts of Marienne.
She must be so scared, and she’s all alone.
His nostrils flared as he glared at Frank, but as he looked at him his anger began to fade.

Frank’s body was slumped over, head resting on his hands as he rocked back and forth. This wasn’t the calm, in control guy Daniel knew. This was a frightened, overwrought man who was helpless in the face of a crisis. Daniel’s anger lessened as sympathy took its place.

He’d always assumed Frank was unflappable. He’d admired his strength and the fact that he perpetually seemed to know what to do. Now he saw that wasn’t the case at all.

His wife needs him and where is he? Cowering in the waiting room.
Anger bubbled up again as Daniel thought of Marienne, alone and terrified, facing God knows what. He raked his hand through his hair and sat down next to Frank, trying to keep his emotions and his imagination in check.

“She’ll be okay,” Daniel said. The words were meant to calm himself as much as they were to help Frank.
She has to be okay. She has to.
His stomach churned as he considered the alternative. He couldn’t imagine not having her in his life.

The realization hit him hard. He’d never had a friend like her before, had never trusted anyone or confided in anyone so much. He literally didn’t know what he would do if something took that away from him.

And Marienne, her life revolved around this baby.
God forbid something went wrong with the baby.
He forced himself to stop the spiral of negativity.
Frank.
He tried to refocus on the tortured man sitting next to him.
What must Frank be thinking? If this is so hard for me, how must he feel? This is literally his whole life; his wife, his child.
Compassion took over and Daniel clapped his hand on Frank’s shoulder. “She’ll be all right.”

“Thanks,” Frank said. “I hope you’re right.”

So do I.

All they could do was wait. Frank in complete silence, and Daniel a ball of nervous energy, drumming his fingers, leg bobbing, anything he could do to occupy himself as time dragged by.

****

Marienne had never been so frightened in her life. The doctors and nurses buzzed around her, moving so fast she couldn’t even focus on one of them long enough to ask the dozens of questions that were zipping about in her mind. She couldn’t stop shivering. The IV that dripped into her arm made the shaking worse, and the icy injection of the epidural chilled her to her core.

“We’ll get you some warm blankets.” A nurse patted her arm.

Marienne’s teeth chattered so hard she was certain they would shatter.

“Okay,” a new voice said. “Marienne, I’m Doctor Donnelly, Doctor Nowell is not on call tonight, but I’ve spoken with him and he told me to tell you he’ll see you and your baby tomorrow when he makes rounds.”

The doctor sounded calm and confident, but it didn’t ease Marienne’s mind at all. She was terrified. Everything was happening so fast. She’d gone to bed thinking about what she was going to do tomorrow. Now her body was leaking blood and she was about to have surgery. Her whole life turned upside down. And she was alone.

She had heard the nurses speaking to Frank. “You can come into the surgical suite with your wife, I’ll get you a sterile gown, come with me.”

“I can’t.” He had replied.

I can’t.
The words spun around in Marienne’s head. She couldn’t believe he’d said them.

Maybe I heard wrong. Maybe they told him he couldn’t go with me.

She struggled to make sure she was remembering correctly, but she knew she was. He could have come. They asked him if he wanted to stay with her while their baby was being born. And he’d said no.

The shaking made it impossible to keep the tears from rolling down her face. The nurse who was checking her IV noticed and wiped them away.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” she said. “Doctor Donnelly does c-sections all the time. You’re going to be fine and your baby looks good. Here, see?” She pointed to the monitor. “The heartbeat is strong and steady. Your little one doesn’t even know there’s a problem. Try to calm down.”

Marienne nodded, the chills started to subside as someone covered her with toasty warm blankets. She couldn’t tell if her legs were cold because she couldn’t feel them. The epidural was working. The nurse smiled and wiped another tear as it slid below her hairline.

She slipped a thin plastic tube beneath Marienne’s nose, lifting her head to secure it with an elastic band. “This is just oxygen. Breathe nice and slow. You’re doing great.”

Great.
Marienne almost laughed.
Fantastic. Yes, this was just like she’d dreamt it would be.
The oxygen helped her focus. She saw the nurse injecting things into the IV bag and wondered what they were giving her.
Things to calm me down? Things to help the baby?
So many questions. She wished she had someone there with her, someone who could ask these questions while she concentrated on breathing.

“Okay,” the doctor said, adjusting a large round mirror above her. For a second she glimpsed her dome-like stomach in the reflection, watching as they poured bright yellow disinfecting solution over her belly.
Strange to see this happening, but feel none of it.

She realized with sudden horror that if she could see them doing this, in moments she would see them cutting into her. Just as she was about to panic the nurses on either side of her raised a sheet in a wall right in front of her face. They clipped it into place on posts on either side of the bed. Marienne could see nothing besides the pale blue cotton and the nurses’ eyes peering out from atop their surgical masks.

They each took one of her hands and she squeezed them both, thankful someone was there to provide support.

“You’re going to feel a bit of pressure,” the doctor said. “But no pain. If something hurts you tell me, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispered.

She did feel pressure. A strange dull sensation. Not pain, just unusual, like scratching a limb that’s fallen asleep. She heard the sound of metal touching metal as various instruments were picked up and placed back on the tray. The doctor muttered things she couldn’t quite make out.

“It’s going fine,” one nurse said.

Marienne nodded, her eyes darting between them.

“Marienne,” the doctor said. “You’re going to feel tremendous pressure now. It’s going to feel like everyone in the room has pressed down on your belly. Try to relax. It should only take a minute then we’ll see if you’ve got a son or a daughter.”

Marienne braced herself as best she could, but she hadn’t anticipated the force. It felt more like a bus had fallen on her. It was unbearable, and seemed to last much longer than a minute. She held her breath, faintly aware of the gentle breeze of oxygen against her nostrils, fleetingly thinking she might squeeze the nurses’ hands off, and then the pressure stopped. She heard the metal clanging sounds again then a new sound. A loud screaming wail. A baby’s cry.

Her baby’s cry.

“It’s a girl.”

It’s a girl! She’s crying.
“Is she okay?” Her eyes searched the nurses’ faces for any sign of concern.

“She’s beautiful.”

“Perfect. See for yourself, Mom.”

The tiny round face appeared at her side, peeking out from behind the wall of blue fabric, wrapped loosely in a striped blanket, her skin shiny and wet, her face scrunched. She was no longer crying.

“Oh my God.” Marienne was unable to take her eyes off her daughter. “You’re really here. Is that her? That’s really her? She’s okay?”

“She’s fine, Mom.”

Marienne could see the smile in her eyes. “Now it’s time we take care of you. We’re going to let you rest a bit while we get everything all taken care of, you just close your eyes and breathe. She’ll be waiting for you when you wake up.”

Marienne saw them inject something into the IV bag and sleepiness overwhelmed her. Her eyes closed as she whispered her baby’s name. “Ella…”

****

“Mr. Valeti?”

A doctor strode toward them.

“Yes.” Frank rose. Daniel was already standing. He moved closer so he could hear.

“Congratulations. It’s a girl. Your wife is fine. She’s being cleaned up, and she’ll be in the recovery room until the anesthesia wears off. She did great.”

“Thank you.” Frank breathed an audible sigh of relief. “The baby’s okay?”

“Strong and healthy. You’re lucky Marienne was able to make it this far into the pregnancy before the previa became an issue.”

“Thanks again, doc.” Frank reached out to shake his hand. He smiled at Frank then at Daniel.

“Again, congratulations.” The doctor turned to walk away, but Daniel called after him.

“Does she know?” he asked. “That the baby’s okay? That it’s a girl?”

“Yes. She was awake for the whole procedure. She saw the baby, and she knows she’s fine.”

“Thank you.” Now Daniel could relax.
She has a daughter. A little version of Marienne.
Daniel was elated. “Congratulations, Dad.” He put his arm around Frank’s shoulder.

“Thanks, man,” Frank said. “Seriously, thanks for being here. You’re a good friend.”

Daniel was too happy everything had turned out well to be bothered with being angry.

Frank pointed to Marienne’s suitcase. “Where the hell did that come from?”

“From your house,” Daniel said. “I saw it when I locked up, I assumed it was Marienne’s hospital bag.”

“Jesus.” Frank stared at him. “You really are a good friend. I forgot all about the damned thing.”

“You had more pressing matters on your mind.” Daniel kept his voice comforting, but couldn’t control his thoughts.
You forgot the suitcase, and you forgot to think about how your wife must have felt being alone in that operating room. Awake for the whole procedure.
The doctor’s words sounded through his head. He tried to make the thoughts go away.
Concentrate on the positive. She’s fine, the baby’s fine, everything is fine.
They both sat down, once again waiting to hear news about Marienne, and the new baby girl who had just entered all their lives.