Authors: Keisha Ervin
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Contemporary, #Genre Fiction, #Action & Adventure, #Urban Life, #United States, #African American, #Contemporary Fiction, #Urban
This is a work of fiction. The authors have invented the characters. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
If you have purchased this book with a ‘dull’ or missing cover—-You have possibly purchased an unauthorized or stolen book. Please immediately contact the publisher advising where, when and how you purchased this book.
Compilation and Introduction copyright © 2004 by
Triple Crown Publications
2959 Stelzer Rd., Suite C
Columbus, Ohio 43219
Library of Congress Control Number: 2004102058
Author: Keisha Ervin
Editor: Kathleen Jackson
Production: Kevin J. Calloway
Consulting: Vickie M. Stringer
Copyright © 2004 by Triple Crown Publications. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except by reviewer who may quote brief passages to be printed in a newspaper or magazine.
First Trade Paperback Edition Printing May 2004
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2
Printed in the United States of America
My son, Kyrese Demetriese Ervin, I dedicate this book and my life to you. You will never truly know how much “I Love U”. You have taught me the true meaning of what life is. Everyday, you teach me something different and new. I now appreciate life more because of you. You are my little homey and partna' in crime. You are the best thing in life that I have, and will ever receive. Thank you for inspiring me to follow my dreams.
Thank you Lord for the blessings that you have bestowed upon me. You've been shaping and molding me for the past twenty-two years of my life for this moment. I always knew that you had something in store for me, I just never knew what that task in life was. I know that my life hasn't been any harder than the next person. But I have felt my fair share of disappointment, pain, and hurt. The reason I went through these things is, because you wanted me to relay my experience to others. In those times of depression, loneliness, and despair, you were always by my side. I wouldn't change anything that has happened in my life for anything in the world. All of those trials and tribulations have led me to this point in my life. I realize now just what type of person I can be. I still have a lot of growing to do, but with you by my side, anything is possible.
Dear Patricia Poe,
Hey momma, I've finally made it. I know at times, I seemed like a lost cause, but remember, I told you that I had a plan. Thank you momma for reading to me every night before I went to bed. You introduced to me to my love of reading. We may argue and fight, but you are the best mom a girl could ask for.
Dear Carl Ervin,
Daddy, you are my road dog. We've both hurt and disappointed each other, but know that I will forever be your “Fat Momma”.
Dear Keon Poe,
Whaz up big bro? I'm so happy that we have become closer these past of couple of years. I Love U!!!
Dear Pauline Ervin,
Granny, you are my only living grandparent and I Love You. I am so happy that you are here to share this with me.
Dear Ervin Family,
It is too many of ya'll to name, so don't be mad. I swear that I have the funniest family around. I love each and every one of ya'll.
Dear Poe Family,
Ya'll are some crazy folks, but I guess that makes me crazy too. Pat is watching over us all, know that.
Dear Tavia Ervin,
You are more than just my cousin; you are one of my closet friends. You've supported my dreams when most didn't. Thanks for your ear when it was needed.
Dear Alocia Robertson,
Girl, we have stayed friends throughout all of the drama. I hope that I continue to have you in my life.
Dear Miesha Ervin,
You hook my hair up once a week, and solve my problems, at the same time. You are the big sister that I have wished for. You
have gone beyond the call of duty as a friend.
Dear TCP Family,
Thank you for all of your support and help with my book. You all have made feel so welcome.
Dear Shannon Holmes,
Thank you for your late night call. You schooled me on the book game that night. Thank you.
Dear Joylynn Jossel,
Thank you for answering my emails. You didn't have to, but you helped me with all of my questions and concerns. Much success to you and all of your endeavors.
Dear Vickie Stringer,
No words in the dictionary can tell you how much you helped me. My dreams of a better life for me and son are coming true because of you. Thank you for believing in “ME & My Boyfriend”. I am eternally indebted to you.
Pat, Granddad, Daddy Cole, Daryl, Uncle Chester, and
Aunt Sheryl, I know that you are in heaven at peace. I love you
all and wish that were here with us. But I know that every time
the sun shines, you're smiling down on us.
To any and all people that I have wronged, pained or hurt,
forgive me. Blame it on my head and not my heart. And to all
the negative thinking haters, disbelievers, and dream slayers
PICTURE ME ROLLING!!!
KEISHA R. ERVIN
It was hot, hotter than usual, being it was only June in St. Louis.
Ninety-five degrees and sunny, said the weatherman. Meesa sat in disbelief as the weatherman reported the daily weather. How could things be more fucked up? It was ninety-five degrees outside, as well as inside her apartment. It was just her luck that her air conditioner went out a week before. So, she sat at her bedroom window, trying to let any cool breeze come through.
Kids were outside getting wet from the fire hydrant. If she wasn't so old, she would be out there too, she thought. Everybody was outside cause it was too hot to do anything else.
Old women were outside gossiping, while fanning themselves with church fans they had gotten that morning from church. Niggas were outside conducting business with the local fiends, all the while, trying to dodge the po po.
St. Louis was always popping in the summertime. And Meesa soaked up every minute of it. Her and her girls were always kickin' it, doing something. If they weren't in the mall, they were at the salon, or at the nail shop, or at one of the hot spots in St. Louis. Meesa loved the smell of St. Louis air on a cool summer's night. It seemed to energize her and give her a sense of purpose. And the dudes in St. Louis were some of the finest men on the planet Earth. They had a mystique about them, something that made them special.
There was always a nigga coming down her block in a big body truck rolling on dubs, flossing, and looking fine. That shit
always made Meesa hyped as hell. She knew she had to get out that night. Q 95.5 FM was having a two-year anniversary party at The Spotlight. Meesa went to the phone and dialed her girl, Destiny's number. She answered on the first ring.
“Damn somebody's bored.” Meesa teased.
“Girl, it's hot than a muthafucker.”
“I know, I can't take this shit either.”
“But anyway, I was calling to see if you wanted to go the Q 95 party tonight?”
“Hell yeah.” Destiny answered.
“I need to get my freak on tonight, besides we ain't been out in like a week.”
“Well it starts at 11:00, so pick me up at about 10:30 so we can make it there on time.”
“Damn, you just telling me what I'm gonnna do. I'll be there when I get there.”
“Fuck you.” Said Meesa jokingly.
Of course, they were late anyway. Destiny and Meesa never made it anywhere on time. But that made shit even better for them though. Cause, the later they were, the better their entrance would be. The rest of the girls were going to meet them there. When all of them got together, they always set shit off. Meesa, Destiny, Nikki, Tamara, Gwen, and Kelly always partied hard. Dudes loved them and hoes couldn't stand them. But they understood they were the shit. None of them were ugly, they always were dressed nice and kept themselves up, so bitches
always hated. They all met in the third grade, and surprisingly, stayed friends over the course of eleven years. Even in high school, hoes hated them. They were ninth graders and had senior girls hating them. There was always jealously and rumors surrounding each of them. Every boy in school wanted to see one of them. So, you know they got labeled as freaks, just because dudes were giving up cheese to them, and not to the rest of the bitches in school. Meesa was not a freak herself. Some of her friends were, so that labeled her one as well, all because she hung out with them. Meesa just had a good mouthpiece that she used to get whatever she wanted. She spit mad game to niggas. Leading them to believe she liked them and that it was only them she was seeing. Gwen and Kelly used their bodies instead, to get what they wanted. To each is own, was Meesa's motto. Meesa and Destiny spotted the rest of the crew as soon as they walked in.
They were lounging upstairs in VIP. Walking through the packed crowd, dudes were trying to make them stop and holla. But Meesa and Destiny weren't having it. They were trying to make it upstairs to see how the girls had gotten into VIP.
“What's up?” Screamed Gwen.
“Hey girl!” Said Meesa, yelling.
“How in the fuck did ya'll hoes get into VIP?” Asked Destiny.
“Girl, this dude just walked up to us and was like he want us to chill in VIP with him and his boys.” Answered Gwen.
“Who is he? Ya'll don't know him?” Asked Meesa.
“Nah, he said his name was Daryl and that him and his partna's were from out of town.” Said Kelly.
“Here you go ladies.” Said the waiter from behind. He was bringing a bottle of Cristal and glasses over to their table.
“We didn't order this.” Said Tamara nervously.
“I know you didn't, a Mr. Daryl Jones did.”
“I got to see this boy Daryl.” Replied Destiny.
“Fuck that, lets pop this muthafucker open.” Gwen said, excitedly.
“Let's make a toast.” Meesa Said.
“Aight.” They all answered.
“To friendship and having a good time.” Meesa toasted.
“Cheers.” They said, as they all clinked glasses.
Meesa didn't drink much, so the one glass of champagne went straight to her head. They all rocked and bobbed their heads to the music, as Daryl and his friends approached.
“So, I see you all like Cristal. The bottles almost gone.” He spoke while eyeing Meesa.
“Yeah we do.” Answered Destiny, liking him immediately. Meesa saw him checking her out, but ignored him, he wasn't her type. Daryl sensed it and didn't like it at all.
“I've never seen you here before.” Destiny spoke. Snapping him out of his trance, Destiny got his attention.
“And who are you? I'm Destiny, you must be Daryl?” She said with a smile.
“Yeah I'm Daryl. These are my homies, TJ, Kevin, and my little homey Lil Howard. Say what's up boy.”
“Hi-hi-hi-hi, my na-na-na-name is Lil Howard.” He stuttered shyly.
“Get the fuck out of here with your stuttering ass.” Daryl teased. All of Daryl's homies laughed. Destiny felt kind of bad for him.
Lil Howard was used to Daryl clowning him.
“So, do you invite people you don't know to VIP and buy them expensive bottles of champagne at every club you go to?”
“Nah, I was just sure that I was gonna meet someone like you tonight.” Daryl was gaming her and she didn't even realize it. Meesa still held his attention, but Destiny would do for now.
“Like me.” Destiny countered, blushing.
“Yeah, like you, sexy as hell.”
While Destiny and Daryl continued to flirt, Meesa decided she wanted to go to where the real party was. The dance floor was really jumping.
Meesa was glad she decided on wearing the red silk peasant blouse she designed. It cut all the way down to the middle of her breast. She had a nice size chest and was perky, so she got away with wearing shit like that. The low rider jeans from BeBe made Meesa's butt look even bigger than it really was. And Meesa loved it. Kisha her stylist had hooked her hair up the day before, so her shit was tight. She wore her hair just like Halle Berry and many people couldn't pull that off like Meesa did.
Her honey colored skin glowed underneath the neon lights. The flash of lights showed off her hazel green eyes. The Mac lip-gloss she sported made her lips look juicer than usual. Meesa was a lethal weapon and only nineteen. With a badass shape, and a personality to match, she couldn't be touched. And she knew it.
She wasn't all sick looking like those stick figured models on the runway. She was black and liked having meat on her bones. All her curves were in the right places. And niggas couldn't get enough of her voluptuous thighs. Besides her eyes and lips, they were one of her best features.
Walking through the crowd of dudes, one in particular caught Meesa's eyes. She had seen him around the local clubs before.
His name was Latrell Patterson. They called him Black for short. He was a twenty-four year old sexy, chocolate brother, and chocolate that nigga was. She had been eying him for awhile, Meesa loved dark skinned men, especially this one, but she could never get up the nerve to say anything to him. She tried subtle things like walking pass bumping him on accident. Or she would give him her sexiest face, but nothing worked. He acted as if she didn't exist. Black would just look the other way and laugh. The shit was starting to piss Meesa the fuck off.
Tonight would be different though she thought. She was buzzed and had enough confidence, so she walked up on him and asked, “why is it every time I see you, you act like you don't see me?” She knew she had to be a little tipsy because normally she wasn't this forthcoming.
“What are you talking about shorty?” He asked.
“You know what I'm talkin' about. You see me checking you, and you play it off like you don't.”
“Look, I don't know what the fuck you on or what you talking about ma. But you're high and tripping. So next time, approach me like you got some sense. Come on Rick dog, let's go. I ain't got time for this shit.” He said as he walked off.
Meesa had been played and in front of his boy. She couldn't believe he did her like that. Fuck him, she thought as she walked onto the dance floor and started to dance by herself.
Upstairs in VIP, Black and his partna's were sharing a spliff. Sharing was something Black had never adapted too. So he pulled out his own blunt and filled it with his own supply of weed. Leaning on the railing, he saw Meesa dancing by herself on the dance floor. He hated the way he had treated baby girl but he had to. Hoes and Black didn't mix. And he had heard to much foul shit about her and the hoes she hung wit.
Baby girl is fine as hell, he thought to himself, and her body was banging. He could just fuck her and then leave her alone he contemplated. Black quickly put the thought out of his mind.
She had been with too many men and he wasn't going to take a chance on getting a STD or AIDS. No matter how fine she was.
“What's up, baby?” A voice said from behind him.
The female voice had her arms wrapped around Black's waist. She rubbed up and down feeling his abs. Turning around, he found sexy ass Brandy standing.
“Shit, what's up with you?”
“I'm trying to see you tonight. I hope you ain't leaving with one of these other bitches.” She replied.
“Nah ma, we can get up tonight. Just meet me outside when this shit let out a'ight.”
“A'ight.” She answered, while kissing him on his lips. All the while, rubbing his dick giving him a sneak peek of what was to come.
After three hours of dancing the night away, the Spotlight was about to close, so Meesa went back upstairs after getting two numbers. Destiny was sitting on Daryl's lap kissing him. Jealousy ran through Meesa. She wished she was somewhere kissing Black's beautiful lips.
“Where in the hell have you been Mee Mee.” Asked Gwen.
“Minding mine.” Answered Meesa, with an attitude.
“What in the hell is your problem?”
“Nothing, I'm just ready to go.” Not wanting to tell her friends she got played by Black.
“Well let's go then, they letting out now.” Replied Tamara.
“Meesa, here are my keys take my car.” Destiny said.
“Lil Howard go and fetch the truck. And hurry up! Put those legs to good use.” Daryl said, throwing the keys.
Trying to catch them, Lil Howard fumbled and dropped them.
“Pick the keys up dumb ass! And go get my car. Damn! That's one clumsy ass lil dude.” He spoke loudly.
“Where are you going?”
“She's going back to my hotel suite with me.” Daryl answered for her. Rolling her eyes, she pulled Destiny by her arms and asked. “Are you sure you want to go to a hotel with him? You don't even know him Dee.”
“Girl, he's cool, I just want to spend some more time with him before he leaves tomorrow.” Said Destiny. Looking at Daryl, she could tell there was something shady about him, but what, she just didn't know. Her friend was happy and she didn't want to cock block, so she let it go.
“Okay.” Replied Destiny, while giving them all hugs goodbye. Walking out, people were pushing and shoving. Brandy just so happened to bump into Meesa. (Only on purpose.)
“Excuse you.” Meesa said, with an attitude.
“My bad.” Replied Brandy, with a smirk on her face.
Meesa knew she had done the shit on purpose. It was no secret they didn't like each other. For some reason, since the first day of junior high, Brandy hated Meesa. Even though she was equally pretty and had style, she was secretly jealous of Meesa. Brandy was never willing to admit it to anyone, especially herself.
Even though Meesa was nice to everyone she met, some girls just didn't like her. Something she just never grew to understand. She decided, at the age of thirteen, that she had to just live her life, and not worry about what others thought of her.
People were always gonna talk about her. And that was something she was just gonna have to except. Meesa hugged her
friends and told them she would call tomorrow. She sat in Destiny's 2000 Altima, and waited to spot Destiny.
After a minute or so, she finally saw her getting into a 2001 red Denali truck sitting on twenty-twos'. She had to admit, if the car was Daryl's, the boy was doing the damn thing. As they pulled off, Meesa started up the car, but quickly turned it off again. She spotted Black across the parking lot getting into his 2002 black chromed out Cadillac Escalade, and guess who was in the passenger seat beaming Brandy.
“I can't stand that bitch.” Meesa said aloud. She hated even more that Black was taking her home that night. Not wanting to hate, her heart was still crushed. She really liked Black and didn't understand why he didn't like her back. Frustration filled her. However, she quickly checked herself and willed herself not to trip.
“Girl, pull yourself together, you can have practically any man you want. Fuck him.” She laughed to herself. She was not about to let herself trip off somebody like him. No matter how fine he was.