Me and My Ghoulfriends (23 page)

Mindy gave me a suspicious glare. “Sounds like there’s some mumbo jumbo going on if you ask me.”

I flicked her a look of exasperation. “I don’t know about mumbo jumbo, but I can say I’ll never eat anything that’s sent to me again.” I laughed.

“Good idea.”

“I don’t know how much more I can take of Brianna, though,” I said as she strolled back across the street with Callahan on her arm.

“Maybe she thinks you’ll get sick of it and leave town?”

“She’s got another thin
g
coming, if she thinks that. I refuse to leave town, I was here first. This is my town, and I’m not going to move away because of her. She’s just going to have to get over it and leave me alone.”

I stared ahead, absorbed in my thoughts.

“I’m out of here.” Mindy snapped me out of my musings.

“I’ll call you later,” I said.

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Me and My Ghoulfriends

Chapter 21

So, the time had come. I had to convince the gang to move on. They just couldn’t stay with me forever. Abe had been around for quite a long time, and it was about time for him to move on.

“Don’t you want to see Mary?” I asked him.

He shrugged his shoulders. That wasn’t the response I was looking for.

“What about your children? I know you want to see them.”

He nodded. “Although I hope they’re still not as rambunctious.” He laughed.

“Yes, that would be nice.” I laughed. “Okay, so you want to see your children. What about your mother? You want to see her, right? You said she died when you were eight years old?” I had turned into an Abraham Lincoln buff after his long stay with me.

“My mother said she would never see me again. Those were her words to me on her deathbed. I often wondered if that were true. I spent my whole life thinking about her words and if I would ever see her again.” He stared out the window, lost in thought.

“Now you know the answer to that, don’t you?” I said.

“Do I?”

“Of course. If you allow yourself to finally cross over, she’ll be waiting for you. You wouldn’t be talking to me if there weren’t an afterlife.” I patted him on the back for reassurance. Although I was never sure if the ghosts could feel my touch, it was the gesture that counted.

“I suppose I really can’t say why I’m still around. I really don’t know.”

I was running out of options. I thought I might have to get him in my car and drive him back to where I found him. But I hated to do that.

I plopped down in the big leather chair and called everyone over to me.

“Guys, it’s time for you to cross over.” I clapped my hands together for emphasis. Vivian looked at me funny, and suddenly I realized it was because I had called her a guy. It must have been hard for her to understand all the latest slang. At that moment, they all glided over and huddled around. A gathering of ghosts.

“You can’t stay with me,” I said giving them a stern look.

It was hard to be harsh with them, but it had to be done. I felt so sorry for them. Abe’s wide smile had suddenly faded to a more introspective one.

“Besides the fact I need privacy, before long I’ll be going on another investigation, and you all know what happens then. There’s not enough room here for any more spirits.” Most of the time I managed to bring another spirit back with me from an investigation, and other times the spirits just found me. Space was running out for any more spirits.

“My energy is drained, y’all. I don’t know how many more of you I can have hanging around me.” They were sucking the energy out of me. “I’m just tired. Don’t you all want to be with your families for eternity? I know you’d prefer them over me.”

Mrs. Williams let out a snort. “Don’t even talk to me about not being here with you. You know I don’t want to be with you. Listening to your whining about that silly man next door is driving me crazy.” She gestured toward Callahan’s shop. “But I swear to you I will haunt you for the rest of your life if you don’t speak to my husband. You can count on that.” She spewed venom with each word.

I released a pent-up breath and rubbed my temples. She was giving me a headache.

Mr. Lincoln said, “You’ve come to be like a daughter to me, and I’ll fret about you if I leave.” He had a sheen of tears in his eyes.

“Mr. President, I promise you I’ll be fine without you.” A tear formed in the corner of my eye. I couldn’t believe the President actually cared for me like that. That was crazy as far as I was concerned, I mean, for him to worry over little old me. “I was fine before we met and I’ll be fine afterward. Really.”

The fact he felt I was like a daughter to him made me exasperated. I had never had a spirit be so persistent and not want to leave like this gang. Maybe I was losing my touch.

Vivian was standing next to Abe. The two of them had grown close, since they’d come from the same century. She looked so sweet and innocent, just like a child, a scared child. Although she wasn’t a child at all; she was roughly my age.

Most of the time when I wanted a spirit to attach itself to me, it never worked. Now that I didn’t want them they wouldn’t leave me alone. I had tried to get Elvis to attach himself to me, but no such luck. I’d even made a special trip to Graceland looking for him. I supposed he’d crossed over. Unless… maybe he really wasn’t dead after all.

The bell tinkled and I popped up to help my customer. The one time I got my mind off everything was when I was helping someone look for a book. After the woman left with her book, I headed back to resume my conversation with the gang.

I clapped my hands together again to get everyone’s attention.

“Now, we’re going to do a little exercise. Is everyone ready?”

“I don’t exercise.” Mrs. Williams quipped.

I continued. “Everyone picture the light, and then envision your loved ones. Clear your minds of all other thoughts and try to envision the bright ray, and then when you do, walk toward that light.” I pushed my hands forward like I was pushing them toward the light.

I felt like I was leading a class.
How to Cross Over 101: Walking into the Light
.

After a few minutes passed, I asked, “How are you doing? Can you see the light?”

Everyone shook their heads no. What was going on? I really was losing my touch! Lately I had been feeling drained and I was sure it was because all of the spirits were clinging on to me so strongly.

“Let’s try this again shall we? One more time. Envision the light. Concentrate,” I coaxed.

There was silence for a moment. You could have heard a pin drop. I closed my eyes in order to help them move on. Maybe my power would seep over to them. After a minute, I opened one eye to see if they were still there. Yep, still there. I closed my eyes once more. After a couple of more minutes, I opened my eyes again. Still there.
Damn.

“Well, this is not working guys. Really, I’m flattered that you would want to stick around. But…”

Mrs. Williams coughed.

“I know you don’t want to stay around, I get it. I’m working on it the best I can.” I waved my hand dismissively at her.

“Mr. Haynes, don’t you want to cross over? It’s much better than being stuck here with me, I promise you.”

“Actually, I’m having fun with you here. You’re at lot of fun to be around. Besides, I want to find out what’s wrong with Mr. Callahan. I don’t think the way he’s acting is normal.” He shook his head. “I loved my wife dearly, but I never walked around like that. He doesn’t act natural.”

Everyone nodded in agreement.

“Look, we will never know what is wrong with him, because there is nothing wrong with him. He is in love. Simple as that. So just forget about him.”

“Maybe you could go on a double date with them. Mr. Haynes here would take you out,” Mrs. Williams snorted. She began laughing hysterically at her snide remark.

She could be so vicious.

“I won’t dignify that with a response.”

Mr. Haynes shrugged his shoulders.

“What about you Vivian, why are you still here?”

“I would like to see what happens as well,” she said with her delicate voice.

Ugh. They were all impossible to deal with. I fell backward onto the chair.

“Maybe I will go pay Brianna a visit again. She’s such a lovely girl,” Mrs. Williams said with a smirk.

I’d tried my best to block Mrs. Williams’s terse remarks out, but it just wasn’t working. She made it very difficult to block out her nastiness.

So it looked as if I was stuck with these outlandish characters for heaven knew how much longer. I needed to train them to do my work for me while they were around. Maybe then they would get sick of working and move on.

I’m pretty sure there was no work in heaven, although I couldn’t say for sure, but then, neither could they. They couldn’t argue that fact with me, as much as they might try to. I sat there for a bit longer, staring at all of them.

After a while I had no choice. I gave in to the fact that they weren’t leaving and said, “Who’s going to the grocery with me?”

I got startled looks from Abe and Vivian.

“What?”

“You want us to go drinking with you?”

“What? Yes, I can get something to drink there.”

“I do not think a grocery is any place for a lady.”

Well I’d heard some strange things before, but that was at the top of my list. That statement was a little odd to say the least. Wasn’t a woman’s place in the kitchen back then?

“What are you all talking about?”

“The grocery is where they served beer back then,” Mrs. Williams snapped. She rolled her eyes at me like I was a complete idiot.

“Oh, oh. Well, I’m sorry. A grocery means where you go to buy food nowadays.”

They looked at me with a look of confusion.

“Just stay put, I’ll be back soon.” I didn’t need them following me around in the store anyway. I certainly didn’t have time to explain the difference, either.

Still I received blank stares.

“I hardly think we’ll miss you,” Mrs. Williams said, in her usual snippy tone.

“Fine, I’m going then. I‘ll see you guys later. Um. And ladies,” I added.

I grabbed my belongings and headed for the door.

Obviously they sensed I was stressed because one by one they all vanished. But I knew they had not vanished in a good way. No, they’d be back soon, and probably at the most inopportune time. Like this morning, when Mrs. Williams had popped up complaining to me about her husband when I was in the shower. She really enjoyed belting out a song or two to annoy me as well.

And then there was Vivian’s newly found interest in the soap operas. I wasn’t a fan of them, but at least it kept her quiet. And, of course, I couldn’t forget dear Mr. Haynes, bouncing around all over the place. He usually followed me everywhere I went. And last, but not least, Mr. Lincoln was always around, too.

The sky was a dull shade of gray as I made my way home. It looked as if rain would sputter from the clouds at any moment. Magnolia was in store for a gloomy evening and, to top it off, I was going home to clean; I never had gotten around to it the other night.