McCarthys of Gansett Island Boxed Set Books 1-3 (83 page)

“Luke would never hurt me.”

“Not intentionally.”

“Not ever. I’m far more worried about hurting him the way I did before.”

“You have to stop blaming yourself for what happened years ago, Syd,” Mary Alice said. “You were just a kid.”

“I was old enough to know he’d be crushed, but I was too much of a coward to end it the way I should have.”

“If you saw fit to end it with him then—”

“I
didn’t
see fit to end it!
You
told me he wasn’t good enough for me, and I
believed
you! I let you twist me in knots until I didn’t know which end was up.”

“But you were happy with Seth. We saw that with our own eyes.”

“I was happy with him, but I never loved him the way I love Luke.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, filling her with despair. Until that very moment, she hadn’t admitted it even to herself.

“Sydney! How can you say such a thing?”

“It’s the truth. I can’t help how I feel.” She swiped at the tears. “I couldn’t help it then, and I can’t help it now.”

“But if you hadn’t married Seth—”

“I don’t regret marrying him. I don’t regret the life we had together or our beautiful children, but I deeply regret decimating someone else on the way to that perfect life you wanted so badly for me.”
 

In Maddie’s driveway, her father parked next to Syd’s car and turned off the engine. The three of them sat in uncomfortable silence until Sydney took a deep, fortifying breath. “I miss Seth and my children every minute of every day, but I’ve chosen not to be defined by what I’ve lost. I simply can’t live mired in tragedy and sorrow without joy or hope or a reason to get up in the morning.”
 

Despite her intention to get through this without tears they came anyway. “Being with Luke brings me joy, and for the first time in more than fifteen months, I’m hopeful again. I’m hopeful that every day of what’s left of my life isn’t going to totally suck. He’s done that for me, so all I’m asking is that you give him a chance. Just give him a chance. Please.”

She got out, shut the door and headed for her own car. For a long time, she sat there hoping her hands would stop shaking so she could drive. A tap on the window surprised her. She turned the key so she could open the window.

“I’m okay, Mom.”

“If he feels up to it, how about you and Luke come for dinner tomorrow night?”

Looking up at her mother, Sydney nodded. “We’d like that.”

Chapter 20

While his mother and Janey went to check on Maddie, Grant stayed with his father, staring down at the bed and willing him to wake up. Cal had said he could be out of it for a while, but Grant kept talking as if his father could hear him.

He stopped talking only to answer text messages from his brothers, Adam and Evan, who were en route to the island and were looking for updates on their father’s condition.
 

“Adam and Evan will be here later tonight,” Grant told his father. “They said to tell you they don’t appreciate you scaring them this way.” He smiled, imagining his father’s response to that.
 

“How’s he doing?”

Grant spun around and found Abby standing in the doorway, looking nervous and adorable. He wanted so badly to feel her arms around him, to hear her say everything would be okay. No one had ever understood him the way she did.

“About the same,” Grant said.

“How’re you doing?”

“I’ll be better when he wakes up.”

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

Grant knew she was just being polite, but he couldn’t miss the opportunity. “You could tell me what you’re thinking hitching yourself to that overgrown cowboy.”

Her expressive eyes flashed with anger. “You have no right to ask me that.”

Behind Abby’s back, Stephanie appeared, holding a container. Grant shook his head, and she ducked out of sight.

“I have every right to ask that,” he said to Abby.

“I waited
years
for you, Grant. I put my whole life on hold hoping you’d get yours together so we could move forward with our relationship. But that never happened, and I got tired of waiting.”

“You can’t honestly expect me to believe that you love him more than you love me.”

“I love him differently than I loved you.”

Her use of the past tense was another knife to his heart. “What the hell does that mean?”

“He’s
there
for me. He supports me rather than expecting me to support
him
a hundred and ten percent without anything in return.”

“I never expected that.”

“Oh come on!” Glancing at his father, she lowered her voice. “That’s all I was to you—your muse, your enabler, your lover, your housekeeper. It was never,
ever
about me.”

“It was
all
about you. You were
everything
to me, Abby.”

At that, her cool composure finally began to waver. “You had a funny way of showing it.”

Grant went around the bed to get closer to her.
 

She took a step back, discouraging him from touching her.

“Give me another chance. I’ve sold my house and car. I’ve left LA, and I’m back to stay for now.”
 

“For
now
? What does that mean?”

Even though she was sending the “hands off” signal, he reached out to touch her face. “It means I’m making some changes. I’m nothing without you. You can’t just walk away like all our years together meant nothing to you.”

She took his hand, lowered it from her face and released it. “They meant too much to me. I lost myself in our relationship, and I don’t want that anymore. I’m happy with Cal. He
sees
me in a way that you never did. And I’m sorry if it hurts you to hear this, but I’m going to marry him in October.”

Grant shook his head. “You can’t marry him, Abby. It’s all wrong, and you know that.”

“I’m asking you to respect my decision.”

“How can I do that when you’re ruining both our lives?”

She shook her head. “I’m not ruining my life. If yours isn’t what you want it to be, I can’t take responsibility for that. Not anymore.” Glancing at his father, she said, “Please tell your dad I was here and give him my love. I have to go now.” She spun around and left the room.

Grant followed her. “Abby, wait! Don’t go.”

She turned and stopped him with a hand to his chest. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she looked up at him. “I loved you so much,” she whispered. “There was
nothing
I wouldn’t have done for you, but it’s over now. Please let me go.”

Stunned, Grant stood in the corridor and watched her until she was out of sight. He couldn’t believe what she’d just said. How could it be over when they were supposed to have forever together? His stomach ached, and his head pounded, but his heart felt like it had been ripped out of his chest and run over by a truck.

Returning to his father’s room, he stopped short when he saw Stephanie waiting for him.

She lowered her eyes as if she was embarrassed by what she’d just witnessed. “So much for acting like you don’t care.” She thrust a carafe at him. “Drink this. It’ll make you feel better.”

“As if anything can make me feel better.” He took the container from her and opened it. The smell of whatever she’d concocted had his stomach surging. Recoiling, he thrust it back at her. “The cure is definitely worse than the ailment.”

She pushed it back to him. “Trust me. It works.”

“If I barf all over the place, I’m blaming you.”

The frightened look she gave him made Grant feel like he’d kicked a puppy. “I’m just kidding.”
 

“I know that,” she said but didn’t look convinced.

Mac came down the hallway looking rattled and zeroed in on Grant. “Oh good. There you are. I need a favor.”

“Sure. Anything.”

 
“Turns out Maddie was in preterm labor.”

“Oh my God,” Grant said. “Is she all right? The baby?”

He nodded. “They managed to stop it, and they’re both fine, but Cal put her on full bed rest until she delivers.”

Grant choked back a retort about the good doctor. Everyone’s hero.

“Wow,” Stephanie said. “What a drag.”

“Seriously,” Mac agreed. “But she’ll do whatever’s necessary to protect the baby. It’s just that she won’t be able to handle a toddler on her own, so I’ll need to be home a lot of the time. And with Dad and Luke out of commission—”

“I’ll take care of the marina. I already told Luke that.”

“We’ll pay you like we would any other employee.”

“Whatever,” Grant said with a shrug. “It’s the best job offer I’ve had in years.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Stephanie said.

Grant sent her a twisted grin. “Believe it.” To his brother, he said, “Is there anything special I need to know?”

“I can show you,” Stephanie said, adding, “I pay attention.”

“That’d be great,” Mac said. “Thank you both.”

“We’ll take care of McCarthy’s,” Grant said. “You take care of your wife and son.”

“I appreciate that, bro. I really do.” Mac peered into his father’s room. “Any change?”

“Not yet.”

“Helluva day around here,” Mac said.

“How’s Mom holding up?” Grant asked.

“Remarkably well. It’s Janey I’m worried about. Ten days until the wedding and the matron of honor is put on bed rest and the father of the bride is out cold.”

“It’ll all be fine,” Grant said. “You can’t keep the McCarthys down for long.”

Mac cast another wary glance at their father. “Let’s hope you’re right about that. I sure wish he’d wake up.”

“Yeah, me too. Go on back to your wife. I’ll stay with him.”

“Let me know the second anything changes.”

“Will do. The boys will be in on the eight o’clock boat.”

Mac nodded. “I’ll recruit them to help out at the marina, too.”

“But I’m in charge, right?” Grant asked with a teasing grin, hoping to lighten his brother’s mood.

Mac rolled his eyes and went to rejoin his wife.
 

“You guys are so lucky,” Stephanie said with a wistful expression on her face.

Grant had almost forgotten she was there. “How’s that?”

“You have a great big wonderful family to lean on when times get tough.”

“You don’t have that?”

She shook her head and crossed her arms. “Are you going to drink that or carry it around all day?”

Intrigued by how the mention of family had shut her down, Grant lifted the container to his nose and gagged anew. “I really have to drink this?”

“You’ll be praising my name in thirty minutes.”

“Is that so?”

“Stop being a big baby and just drink it.”

“Well, jeez, when you put it like that, here goes nothing.” Grant tipped his head back to guzzle it down, and sure enough, it tried to come right back up. Somehow he kept from hurling all over the corridor, but his head spun and his eyes watered. “Holy shit,” he sputtered. “What the hell was in that? Kerosene?”

“Just a little lighter fluid to keep things interesting.”

His mouth fell open, and judging from the way her concoction was burning its way through his gut, he wasn’t entirely sure she was kidding.
 

“Shut your mouth before you start to drool—or worse.”

Unused to a woman talking to him that way, Grant did as he was told but took a more measuring look at the saucy waif with the spiked hair. Her eyes weren’t quite green or blue but rather an interesting combination of the two colors. They were framed by extravagant lashes but marred by overly dark makeup. Multiple studs lined both her ears, and he’d caught a glimpse of a stud in her tongue. Grant swallowed hard at the thought of it. As much as the idea of a tongue stud horrified him, it intrigued him, too.

She had high cheekbones and smooth skin, and while she didn’t seem to carry an extra ounce of flesh—anywhere—she had full, plump lips that seemed almost out of place on an otherwise spare face.

He let his gaze drop to her chest, where there was nothing at all to look at, and then farther down to long, thin legs encased in black denim.

His eyes flipped upward to find her taking her own measuring look—at him.
 

Before he could register his surprise at realizing she was checking him out, a moan from inside his father’s room caught his attention. He rushed in to find Big Mac struggling against the IV and the restraints the nurses had said would be necessary when he came to. Grant put his hands on his dad’s shoulders and resettled him against the pillow.

Big Mac blinked rapidly. “What’re you doing here?” he asked, his voice gravelly.
 

Overcome with relief, Grant said, “I got home a week or so ago, Dad. Don’t you remember?”

“Head hurts. What the hell happened? How’d I get here?”