McCarthys of Gansett Island Boxed Set Books 1-3 (41 page)

“I believe he said hello.”

Mac laughed. “Goddamn him.”

“Exactly.”

“So much for being subtle.”

Joe looked over at his friend. “Where has that gotten me?”

“Joe—”

He held up a hand to stop Mac from saying any more. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You just need to bide your time,” Mac said softly. “Give her a couple of months to get past this, and then maybe. . .”

“A couple of months.” To Joe that sounded like a lifetime. One night without her and he’d managed to get drunk, throw up and punch someone. What would he look like after sixty nights without her?

“It seems like forever right now, but you’ve already waited forever. What’s a little while longer?”

Joe’s laugh was tight with irony.
 

Mac rested a hand on his shoulder. “What can I do for you? I hate to see you so spun up.”

“Nothing. Like you said, I just have to bide my time. Somehow.” In a perfect world, Janey would realize on her own that they were meant to be together and come to him, ready to plan their future. However, Joe had no illusions that he lived in a perfect world.

“Just think about what might be waiting for you on the other end.”

That was the problem—Joe already knew
exactly
what was waiting for him, and he had no idea how to live without her for even a couple of weeks. “Yeah.” He’d never before felt so out of sorts, like he was coming out of his own skin. “I need to get out of here.”

“Where do you want to go? I’ve got the bike.” Mac referred to his old motorcycle. “I can take you.”

“Back to work, I guess. I’ve taken enough time off, and I can only imagine how they’re all buzzing after watching me get carted off by the cops.”

“They’ll forget about it in a day or two. Come on, I’ll give you a lift.”

Joe followed Mac inside where Linda was forcing some soup on Janey. She glanced up, and their eyes met. A current of electricity crackled between them, and Joe wondered how it was possible everyone on the room didn’t feel it. Before he succeeded in broadcasting his utter misery to her entire family, Joe mumbled a quick good-bye and thank you on his way to the front door. He was surprised when Janey, rather than Mac, followed him.

“Joe! Wait!”

“Go back inside, Janey. I can’t do this right now.”

She grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. “Please.”

Oh God, this woman was his
kryptonite
! He turned, took a breath and put his hands on his hips. It took all his fortitude to make contact with those pale blue eyes. “What do you want me to say?”

“Why did you hit him?”

“Because he was there.” Joe looked down at the ground, his eyes connecting with her delicate feet in flip-flops. A heated memory of pressing kisses to her sensitive arches came rushing back like a punch to the gut.

“Joe,” she whispered, resting a hand on his arm. “You’re so tense. I hate seeing you like this.” She reached for his bruised hand.

He pulled it back and cast an uneasy gaze at the house, certain he’d find faces in every window. But no one was watching. Bringing his eyes back to her and absorbing the familiar burst of longing that occurred every time he saw her, he steeled himself to do what he knew he had to do, even if it killed him. “What happened between us was a mistake, Janey.”
 

The flash of hurt that crossed her expressive face was the first nail in his coffin. “How can you say that?”

“Your father and Mac would kill me if they knew—”

“
Why
did you hit him?”

“Because he was smiling and smug and satisfied, coming to see you like nothing was wrong after what he’d done to you!” Joe’s head felt like it might explode. He needed to get out of there, to get away from her. Now. “I have to go.”

She clutched his arm. “Not like this.”

“I can’t do this! It’s like I’m losing my mind! I hit someone! I got thrown in jail. Last night I got so drunk I puked outside the Beachcomber. I can’t deal with it!”

“What can’t you deal with?”

He stared at her, incredulous. As he became more agitated, she seemed to get calmer. “Any of it. You, him, us.”

“It’s over between me and him.”

“On paper, maybe.” In a jerky motion, he ran his hands through his hair, which served to dislodge her warm hand from his arm. “We both know you have a long way to go before you’ll be over it.”

“Maybe not so long. There’s something about seeing your fiancé having sex with someone else that speeds up the process.”

“You were just crying your eyes out over him ten minutes ago.”

“I’m much more sad about losing the dream than I am about losing him.” She quirked her head as the realization settled over her. “Hmm, I didn’t get that until I said it out loud.”

“You don’t have to lose the dream, Janey.” As the words fell from his mouth, he wanted to take them back. Hadn’t he just called what’d happened between them a mistake?

“I don’t?”

Even though everything in him was urging him to run, he couldn’t look away. He shook his head. “No,” he said softly. “You can still have anything and everything you want with someone who would never betray you the way he did.”

“Come to my place tonight. After work.”

Joe finally tore his eyes off her and looked to the heavens for guidance. “That’s not a good idea.”

“Please?”

“This isn’t how I want it to go. We should wait until you’re ready, until the time is right.”
Yeah, Joe
, he thought,
great ideas. Too bad you didn’t have them before you slept with her
.

“I know you’ll think I’m in shock or denial or something, but what I feel is very calm inside. If someone had told me, ‘David is cheating on you,’ I probably wouldn’t have believed it. But I saw him. . . with her. . . I have no choice but to believe what would’ve been unbelievable to me only a few days ago. I’m not in denial, Joe. I promise you that. And I don’t want to think about him anymore.” She looked up and turned those potent eyes on him. “I felt good when I was with you. I want to feel that way again.”

His entire body was riddled with tension as he studied her and fought a silent war with himself.

“Will you come?” she asked.

Who was he kidding? Like he could really say no to her. “Yeah.” He uttered the single word and walked away while he still had a shred of sanity left. Funny how he’d thought loving her from afar had made him crazy. That was nothing compared to this.

Chapter 10

Calling himself five kinds of idiot as he watched the last boat of the day depart the island, Joe returned to the Beachcomber to shower, shave and change out of the clothes he’d worn to clean one of the boats. Upon returning to the ferry landing earlier, he’d refused to answer any of the questions his employees were burning to ask about his arrest and had thrown himself into the demanding physical work in an effort to take his mind off everything that had happened. Too bad it hadn’t helped.
 

Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he had to admit he looked like shit. The lingering effects of too much booze, not enough sleep and a couple of hours in jail had left him looking haggard, and his hand hurt like a bastard. “You absolutely should
not
go over there tonight, do you hear me?” he said to the mirror. “Are you listening?”

Turning away, he muttered, “I didn’t think so.” He pulled on a clean shirt and buttoned khaki cargo shorts. “You’re just going to talk to her. You have to convince her we need to wait until the dust settles with David. We can’t blow our chance. We have to do it right. And no matter what,
no touching
. No matter what!” Marshalling all his defenses, he grabbed his wallet and keys, left the room and headed downstairs, where he ran into Luke Harris, their high school classmate and Mac’s right hand at the marina. “Hey, Luke, how’s it going?”

The two men shook hands, and Joe winced at the pain that caused him.

“Joe.” Never one to be chatty, Luke sized him up with an amused expression. “Good day?”

“Screw you.”

Luke’s tanned face lifted into a small smile. “Never have liked that guy. Something not right about him.”

Appreciating the other man’s support, Joe grinned. “Couldn’t agree more. So, hey, I guess I’m supposed to throw a bachelor party for Mac. You in?”

“Sure thing. What do you have in mind?”

Joe hadn’t given it a thought. “Um. . .”

“How about poker and beer after work one night at the marina? We can take over the restaurant after it closes. Day after the Fourth? Mac’s brothers are due to arrive that day for the wedding.”

“That’s perfect. I’ll get Mario’s to do the food. Will you spread the word on the docks?”

“Yep.”

“Appreciate that. You have a good night.”

“You, too.”

At least this day hadn’t been a total loss, Joe decided as he set out for Janey’s small saltbox house, which was set back off Ocean Road, within walking distance of the veterinarian’s office. Like her mother, Janey had filled her front yard with fragrant rose bushes that grew through the slats of the white picket fence. Joe let himself in through the gate and took a quick look around to make sure no one was seeing him approach her front door.

She must’ve been watching for him, because she swung open the door and ushered him into her world for the first time. He’d been invited to cookouts and other parties there in the past but had used work as an excuse to decline. He had gone out of his way to keep his feelings for her hidden from everyone, and had always suspected stepping into her private space would be too difficult for him. Now he wanted to take in every detail, every nuance. On first glance, he decided her tiny home was warm and cozy, everything he’d expect from her. Rich colors, shelves full of books, comfortable. Welcoming.
 

“Janey—” Joe forgot what he was going to say when she wrapped her arms around him and rested her face against his chest. He wondered if she could hear his heart hammering in response to her. All his good intentions were shot to hell when the scent of jasmine invaded his senses and soft hair brushed against his jaw.

What choice did he have but to put his arms around her? Once again, he was struck by the perfect fit, the click of two halves becoming a whole. Did she feel it, too?
There wasn’t supposed to be any touching
, his conscience reminded him.
Shut up. Just shut up
.

“Thanks for coming,” she whispered.
 

“We have to talk, Janey.”

She tightened her hold on him. “I know, but can we just do this for a minute first?”

Even though a burst of emotion closed his throat, he managed to say, “Sure.” Joe told himself they were going to talk. They
needed
to talk, but then her hands found their way under his shirt and all rational thought left his head in a tsunami of desire. Her hands were warm and soft on his back, and all he could think about was how soft the rest of her had felt under him, wrapped around him.

“I missed you last night,” she said. “How is that possible when we only spent two nights together?”

His heart staggered, and his resolve disappeared. Drawing back from her, he caressed her face and brought his mouth down on hers for a kiss that was equal parts desperation and urgency, as if it had been years rather than days since their last kiss. As he feasted on her, a sense of calm came over him. This was what he needed. All the anxiety and despair he’d carried around since their return to the island faded away. He lifted her, felt her legs curl around his hips and her arms tighten around his neck.

“Bedroom,” he mumbled against her lips.

She directed him through the one-level house to a room at the end of the hallway.
 

Joe couldn’t have described the room. All he saw was the bed. Locked in another sensuous kiss, they landed hard.

A shriek from beneath them stopped his heart. “What the hell?”

“Trio,” Janey said breathlessly, raising herself up. A large three-legged cat darted out from under her and bolted from the room.

“Jesus.” Joe leaned his forehead on hers, still breathing hard. “That took five years off my life.”

Janey laughed and ran her fingers through his hair. “Where were we?”

“Here,” he said with a soft caress of lips touching lips. “And here.” He ran his tongue over her bottom lip, and she responded by pressing her hips against his erection. Through the haze of desire and emotion, he became aware of other noises in the house. Scratching, moaning, more scratching. “What is that?”

“Dogs.”

He raised his head so he could see her face. “How many?”

“Five,” she said with a sheepish grin.

“You have
five
dogs in this little house?”

“And three cats.”

Joe chuckled and fell even further into a love so deep it knew no boundaries or limits. “Do you know that one of my favorite memories of you was when you were about six? You had adorable pigtail braids and no front teeth. You had rescued a squirrel that had been hit by a car in front of your house. You carried him around in a shoebox. Remember?”