McCarthys of Gansett Island Boxed Set Books 1-3 (18 page)

“What’re you thinking?” he asked.

“That I’m tired and I hurt.” He didn’t need to know the pain was mostly on the inside.

He winced. “I’m sorry. We’ll get you home and into bed. I shouldn’t have dragged you out tonight. Next time I’ll listen to you.”

There won’t be a next time
, Maddie thought, filled with sadness. She knew that not pursuing a relationship with him was the right thing for both of them. If only it didn’t hurt so much to think about never seeing him again after he moved out.

Mac beat himself up all the way back to town.
What the hell was I thinking? Huge, huge mistake.

Back at Maddie’s, Mac helped her out of the truck and noticed she was moving even slower than she had earlier.
We should’ve stayed home and had pizza. Damn it!
 

As he carried Thomas and walked slowly up the stairs with Maddie, Mac tried to think of how he could undo the damage this night had done to their fledgling relationship. What could he say? What should he do? Unaccustomed to feeling so insecure around a woman, he had no idea what to do.

“I’ll give him a quick bath and get him ready for bed,” he offered.

“Thank you.”

The night before, she would’ve argued with him. Mac found that he much preferred the arguments to this weary acceptance. He moved quickly to take care of Thomas and brought him and his last bottle of the day to Maddie. Mac wanted to stretch out next to them on the sofa bed and hold her while she fed the baby, but instead, he straightened the apartment and gathered the growing pile of laundry the three of them had generated.

“I’ll toss this in at the marina when I go to work tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to do ours—”

He bit back a burst of temper. “It’s no problem.” When she didn’t fire back, he knew it was bad. Whatever progress they’d made had been undone by a couple of hours with his mother.
 

She was quiet, docile even. Not at all like the Maddie he’d enjoyed sparring with the last two days. He discovered he didn’t like her this way, even if it was easier. He wanted his smart-mouthed Maddie back.
 

After he got Thomas settled in his crib, he returned to the living room where Maddie had removed her bandages. The wound on her elbow had gotten pink and puffy with infection since Mac last saw it. “We should probably get that looked at.”

“Libby gave me some antibiotic ointment to put on it.”

Mac reached for the tube. “I’ll do it.”

She took it from him. “I couldn’t bear to have someone else touch it.”

Because it hurt or because it was him? Frustrated, he watched her dab the clear ointment gingerly on the angry-looking cut. Then she did the same to her knee and hand.

“Libby said I should leave them uncovered tonight to let the air get to them.”

“She knows what she’s talking about. She’s had a lot of medical training.” Mac stood, peeled off his T-shirt and tossed it into the pile of laundry. Turning, he caught Maddie staring at him with a needy, hungry look on her face. He took a step toward her. “Maddie—”

Her expression shifted immediately to that impassive, unreachable thing she did so well. “Would you mind terribly sleeping on the floor tonight? I don’t even want the sheet to touch me.”

Tension lodged in his chest. “Of course not.” He set out the couch cushions and unrolled his sleeping bag. When they were both settled, he reached up to turn off the light. Unlike the night before, there was no conversation. Earlier in the day, he’d been happier and more content than he’d ever been in his life. Now, even though he was as tired as he’d been in ages, Mac lay awake for a long time feeling edgy and desperate—as if he had somehow managed to lose something he’d never really had in the first place.

Over the next three days, they slid into a routine that began with Mac taking Thomas on a morning walk for coffee and breakfast. After Maddie nursed the baby, Mac delivered him to Tiffany’s, rushed through Maddie’s shifts at the hotel and spent as much time as he could at the marina measuring and outlining the needed repairs. He planned to start on the roof of the main building and had a four-man crew lined up to help him beginning the following Monday. By three o’clock each day, he was back at Maddie’s to help out at Tiffany’s daycare.
 

He spent the nights on Maddie’s floor, wishing they could somehow get back to where they’d been before he made the mistake of subjecting her to his mother. Wednesday evening, after they finished up at the daycare, Mac suggested they walk over to Mario’s for pizza. Since Maddie was finally getting around much better, she agreed.
 

By now, people in town had grown accustomed to seeing them together, and while they still attracted some stares, Mac had learned to ignore the unwanted attention. He wasn’t sure Maddie was able to ignore it, but she hadn’t mentioned it to him. In fact, she hadn’t said much of anything at all to him in three days. She seemed to be biding her time until she could be rid of him, and with every passing day, Mac’s desperation grew more intense.
 

He’d tried to give her some space to get used to him and the idea that he was interested in her. But like the disastrous dinner at his parents’ house, that, too, had backfired on him. The more space he gave her, the more remote she became, until he was certain he would explode if something didn’t change—soon.

“Tomorrow’s your day off at the hotel, right?” he asked.

“Yes, and the daycare. Tiffany doesn’t teach dance on Thursdays. That’s when I usually clean your mother’s house.”

“I have to go to the mainland for some building supplies. I thought maybe you and Thomas would like to come. We could go anywhere you want to while we’re over there.”

He watched the debate play out on her face—wistfulness, yearning, nervousness and finally, resignation.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll just stay here with Thomas. I’m feeling much better. There’s really no need for you to take care of us anymore.”

Mac had never experienced such pain. Reaching for her good hand, he linked his fingers with hers and watched her take a nervous look around the crowded restaurant. “Come with me. It’ll be fun. We can buy Thomas some new big boy clothes and a bike. And a football. He needs a football. I noticed he doesn’t have one.”

That drew a tentative smile. “He can’t even walk yet.”

“It won’t be long now.”

“I don’t know,” she said with a worried glance at the baby, who sat on Mac’s lap like he belonged there.
 

He squeezed her hand. “Come with me. It’ll do you good to get off the island for a day.” Knowing most of her expressions by now, Mac could tell she was tempted. He flashed his most charming grin. “
Come on
. . .”

“All right! Fine. We’ll go. God, you’re relentless!”

Swamped with relief, Mac sat back in the booth but didn’t release her hand. “Good.” It wasn’t a breakthrough, exactly, but it was one more day together. Right about now, he’d take it.

Thanks to his connections with Joe, Mac was able to get his father’s truck on the first boat off the island at eight the next morning. Joe invited them to join him in the wheelhouse, but Mac wanted as much time alone with Maddie as he could get, so he declined.

“Whatcha got going on there, pal?” Joe asked with a grin as Mac bought their tickets.

“Hopefully, the most important thing I’ll ever do in my life.”

Joe’s eyes nearly fell out of his head. “No way.”

Mac glanced over at Maddie, who was watching the seagulls with Thomas while she waited for Mac to drive the truck on the boat. “Yes way.”

Once onboard, they stood on the bow of the ferry where a light spray hit them every time the boat crested a wave. Thomas loved the air and the water and the motion of the ferry. Mac kept a firm grip on him as they stood at the rail.
 

“This is nice,” Maddie said, looking more tranquil than he’d ever seen her as they watched the northern end of the island disappear into the morning fog. He’d known that getting her off the island would be good for her. He hoped it would also be good for
them
.

“When was the last time you were off-island?”

Maddie thought about that. “About a year ago. Before he was born.”

“That’d make me nuts! Don’t you ever feel confined?”

She shrugged. “I’ve gotten used to it.

“You know, it’s funny, when I lived here as a kid, I couldn’t leave if I felt confined. It would be totally different as an adult. I could leave any damned time I wanted to.” He laughed at the somewhat major revelation. “That never occurred to me until right this second.”

Maddie flashed him a rueful smile. “The confinement used to drive me crazy, especially when I wanted to go to college. I didn’t have the money to pay tuition and live there, too, and it wasn’t like I could commute.”

“I’ve never thought about that before.” Of course he hadn’t. He’d gone to college on a full athletic scholarship and never once had to worry about paying for it. “What would you have studied?”

“Maybe oceanography or biology. Something to do with the water. I’ve always been obsessed by anything involving the ocean.”

Fascinated by this new insight, Mac studied her face as she stared out at the water, lost in thought. “There’re online courses you could take.”
 

“I was halfway through an online associate’s program when I got pregnant.” She took Thomas’s hand and smiled warmly at the baby, making Mac jealous. “Now I have other priorities.”

He wanted her to direct that dazzling smile at him. What he wouldn’t give for just one genuine smile, the one that engaged her eyes as well as her full, sexy mouth. “Maybe you can go back and finish someday.”

“Maybe.”

They docked just after nine in the fishing village of Galilee on Rhode Island’s south shore. With Thomas in his car seat and Maddie riding shotgun, Mac drove the truck off the ferry into the crowded port.
 

“How about some breakfast and then we can do whatever you want?” Mac suggested.

“Sure, that sounds good.”

Over eggs and toast at a greasy spoon, he asked where she wanted to go.

She hesitated, but only for a moment. “The mall,” she said with a delightfully girlish grin.

Thrilled to see her playful side reemerging after three days of distance, Mac McCarthy—a man who had never once willingly stepped foot in a shopping mall—took his lady to the biggest, brightest, busiest mall in the state of Rhode Island.

Maddie loved the excitement and elegance of The Providence Place Mall. A ruthless bargain shopper, she haunted the sale racks in all the children’s clothing stores and got some nice deals on summer clothes for Thomas. Worried, as always, about her finances, she bought nothing for herself.

Pushing Thomas in the stroller they’d brought from the island, Mac followed her around with unwavering patience. He never rushed her or showed an ounce of displeasure, but she knew he had to be hating every minute of this. Mindful that he had things he needed to get done that day, she glanced up at him. “I’m all set if you want to go.”

His brows narrowed over those steel blue eyes. “We just got here. You haven’t looked at anything for yourself.”

“I don’t need anything.”

“Thomas and I are going for a walk. We’ll meet you back here in an hour.”

“What will you do with all that time?”

“Pick up a few things Janey asked me to get.”

Maddie nibbled on her thumbnail as she studied him. “Are you sure?”

He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Go. Have fun. Spend some money. That’s what credit cards are for.”

Laughing, she didn’t even mind the kiss that zipped through her like a live wire. “You’re a bad influence.”

“Thank you. Now go.”

An hour to herself in a mall! Flitting from store to store, she bought a few new tops and some jeans. She gave herself one hour off from worrying about money and stocked up on underwear, bras and socks. Outside Victoria’s Secret, she stared longingly at an ivory silk nightgown in the window that would look ridiculous on her. Still, it was fun to look and to imagine. . .
 

When she met Mac at the designated spot, she discovered that he, too, had put the hour to good use. The basket under Thomas’s stroller was full to overflowing with bags. She saw a baseball bat sticking out the top of one of them. When she raised a questioning eyebrow, he replied with a shrug and adorably sheepish grin. Mixed in with the others, a pink-striped bag caught her attention. “You bought something for Janey at Victoria’s Secret?”

“It’s not for Janey,” he said with a secretive smile.

Maddie’s knees weakened. What had he done? She had no idea, but she was not about to ask him. She’d learned not to encourage his outrageous behavior.

“Ready to go?” he asked, sliding an arm around her shoulders.

“Yes.” As they walked to the parking garage, Maddie glanced up at him. “Thank you.”

He kissed the top of her head. “My pleasure, honey.”

Mac took the long way back to the ferry, driving them through Newport to stop at the carousel at First Beach. Thomas loved the merry-go-round, and Mac sprang for five rides before Maddie reminded him of the time. They had a ferry to catch.