Maybe This Life (7 page)

Lena felt bad defending Vince, but they had encountered some good moments in their relationship and she did feel sympathetic toward him. At times, she really thought Vince could never evolve into a mature human being. All the drugs he had done, and the lack of nurturing, surely contributed to his immaturity. Violence was never okay, but Lena knew that Vince had some kind of chemical imbalance, and if he had ever admitted to needing help, she was certain he could get well.

But Rick had been right. It was no excuse. She could no longer be the brunt of Vince’s shortcomings. Though her heart sank for Vince, she had to admit, she was glad it was over.

Lena turned toward Rick. “Yeah, it’s over.” She sighed. There was an awkward silence before Lena noticed Rick gazing at her mouth, then her eyes, then her mouth again. Lena had involuntarily done the same to Rick, but as he leaned forward, she bent her neck so that his mouth brushed the top of her head. She closed her eyes, afraid of Rick’s reaction. She bit her upper lip and cringed. How horrible she must have made him feel, but she could not allow him to kiss her. She’d only just broken up with Vince. It was unjustifiable. As much as the thought of Rick’s beautiful mouth on hers drove her wild, she felt an obligation to mourn the death of her engagement, for at least a little while.

Rick just shrugged it off. He put his arm around Lena and led them back to the tablecloth. “C’mon. Let’s eat. We’ll probably need to head back to the office soon.”

They sat. He took a bite of his sandwich, but she just sipped her soda. After all the emotions she’d just experienced, her stomach felt queasy and she had no desire to eat. Rick seemed to notice. “Lena, if you’d rather have something sweet.” He rummaged through the basket and pulled out a white bag. “I have a couple black and white cookies.” He handed her the white bag.

“Black and white cookies?” She looked in the bag and pulled one out. “Oh my goodness, I love these things.” Her stomach may have felt funny, but for a black and white, she’d deal with it. “You know, these were my great-great-grandmother’s favorites. Of course, I never knew her, but Mimi tells me every time she brings them over.”

“Mimi?”

“Oh, that’s my great-gram. My mom’s grandmother.”

“Wow. She’s still alive?”

Lena chuckled. “Of course, she’s only ninety.”

Now Rick laughed. “
Only
ninety? I say that’s quite an accomplishment.”

“Yeah, well, Mimi’s great. Her mom had her young. She was only fifteen. I don’t know, Mimi tells me her mom married an older man, and he insisted they marry young or something. She never finished school or anything.”

“Who? Your Mimi?”

“Oh no, my Mimi’s mother.”

“Ah.” Rick’s eyes glazed over, as if he were recalling something important.

“Anyway, my great-grandmother thinks I’ve inherited her mother’s love for black and white cookies.” Lena giggled again.

“Cute.” Rick still kept his gaze on Lena, and although she could sit and look at his perfectly assembled face all day, it was making her uncomfortable. Not in the creepy sort of way but in the
‘Oh my God, I could just jump him’
sort of way. And that was an unsettling emotion for Lena, because never ever did she ever want to jump anyone.

She nibbled at her black and white cookie, savoring each little bite. As she broke off a piece of her cookie, she looked up at Rick, who was watching her. “What?” she asked, smiling.

He smiled back at her. “Why don’t you come with me Friday night to The Tavern? I can pick you up, we can eat, then I’ll do my gig and we can…get a cup of coffee somewhere.”

She thought about it.

“Can I take you out?” He waited patiently for an answer, while she contemplated the question.

“Why not,” she answered, not meaning to sound so indifferent. She wanted nothing more than to go on a date with Rick, she just had to convince herself that it was okay.

Rick's ego had been punctured. He'd hoped for a more enthusiastic response. “If I’m troubling you my dear, you
are
allowed to say no,” he retorted, although he'd been trying for a more lighthearted response.

“Rick. I really would like to go with you. I hadn’t meant to sound so…flippant. I just couldn't help worrying about what Vince would do. But…it really isn’t his business anymore. I need to break totally free from him."

“It’s okay, Lena. Really.”

Lena felt her face flush. She had a date with Rick Murphy. She couldn't wait.

He came to the door with a bouquet of flowers already in a vase. His auburn hair, slicked back with a little gel, instead of his usual tousled hair, was darn sexy. So were his charcoal button-down shirt and black flat-front Dockers. His black motorcycle boots completed his dark ensemble. Rick Murphy looked bad in black, and Lena was definitely hot for him. But she couldn't let him know that. Not yet.

“Good evening, Lena,” Rick breathed, after an exaggerated pause.

“Hi.” Lena sighed, more dreamily than she’d meant to.

“You look lovely tonight.”

Lena looked down at her light-gray mini-skirt, lavender blouse, black tights and Mary-Janes. “Oh…thanks,” she said, feeling her skin grow warm.

“These are for you.” The assortment of lilies of the valley, with one pink rose in the center, was daintily set in a slender iridescent vase with a pale pink satin ribbon tied around it.

“Oh, Rick, they’re so pretty. They’re perfect. Thank you so much.”

Lena watched his face light up with pride. “You’re welcome. Why don’t you put them down and we can get going…if you’re ready, I mean.”

"I am.” She put the vase on her coffee table and slipped on her purple cardigan before grabbing her small black purse and locking the door.

“Thank you for joining me tonight,” Lena heard Rick say from behind her, as they headed down the stairs. “I’m really looking forward to it.”

“Me too.” Lena had been looking forward to going out with Rick and watching him perform, but eating in front of him made her nervous. Her stomach felt queasy at the idea. Nibbling on a black and white cookie and barely eating her pasta at their “business” lunch were one thing, but eating a whole meal? Would she not be aware of food left on her mouth or in-between her teeth? Certain she'd make a fool of herself one way or the other, she tried to force the thought out of her head. Acting all jittery in front of him wouldn’t earn her any points in composure.

Rick seemed to know everyone at The Tavern, since every patron excitedly called him by name as he walked into the pub. He’d high-five them as they passed. It reminded Lena of old Cheers episodes, where they all yelled ‘Norm’ as the large man walked into the bar. Seeing Rick so popular with the crowd added to Lena’s jitters. She may have been born into a huge family, but large crowds still made her anxious. Add to that the attention Rick was receiving, her uneasiness was amplified.

As if he sensed her anxiety, Rick took her by the hand and pulled her close. He led them to a semi-private table in the corner near the stage and pulled out her chair to sit.

“Thank you,” Lena replied to his gallantry.

A waitress came to the table just as Rick sat down in his chair across from her. “Hey Ricky, the usual?” She grinned ear to ear at Ricky while she waited for his reply.

“Not tonight, Gina.” Rick turned to Lena. “What would you like, Lena?”

“Oh, just a diet coke, please.”

“And I’ll have a Corona, please,” Rick answered, then turned his attention to Lena before the waitress left the table.

“So,” Lena asked Rick. “What’s your usual?”

“A Whisky Sour.”

“Isn’t that an old man’s drink?”

Rick laughed, then shrugged. “I’m an old man.”

“No you’re not,” Lena said, before realizing she hadn’t known how old Rick actually was. “How are old are you?”

“Thirty-seven.”

Lena eyebrows shot up.

“See. Old.”

Lena smiled. “No, that’s not old, just…”

“Older than you,” he finished.

“You don’t look thirty-seven.”

“Ah. No backpedaling.” He laughed.

Lena chuckled. “I’m not. But really, I thought you were like twenty-eight or something like that.”

“Mmm. Something like that.”

The mischievous way he shot his eyes up and smirked had Lena tingling in places she was unaware were able to tingle. The sexiness he embodied, stirred in her an arousal so volcanic, she hoped she wouldn’t explode right there. She couldn’t understand her body’s uncontrollable attraction to the man sitting in front of her. Certainly she’d been in the presence of good-looking men before. What made this one so different?

“So Lena, what are your weekends like?” Rick decided, she guessed, to change gears and talk about something other than his age.

“Well.” She needed to think about this, considering this was her first full weekend alone without the burden of Vince’s plans on her agenda. “Usually I do whatever Vince has planned, but now that he’s…out of the picture, I’m kind of looking forward to reading some books I’ve put aside.”

“Ah. Quiet time.”

"Mmm,” Lena thought. “What do you do on the weekends?”

Rick took a moment to gather his thoughts. “Well, I do a lot of work on my land, tend to my horses, go see my broth…I hang out. You know, take it easy.”

“Take it easy? Tending to your land and horses sounds like just the opposite of taking it easy. What do you do on your land? Farm?”

Rick guffawed. Really loud.

“What’s so funny?”

“I don’t know the first thing about farming. I’m a city boy at heart. I bought the land because it had a wonderful barn to renovate.”

Lena looked at him silently, hopefully encouraging him to continue. He was such an interesting fellow. Simple, yet complicated.

“I’m turning my barn into a huge rec room. A place to hang out, write music, record. Stuff like that.”

“You
write
music?” An impressed Lena asked.

“I do. I enjoy it.”

“And you record your stuff?”

“Only to send out as demos. I write songs for other’s to play. In fact, one of the bands I wrote for many years ago…their drummer’s here to perform with me tonight.”

“Oh? Who?” Rick was amazingly versatile, thought Lena.

“Matty Em from the group Holland. Are you too young to remember them?”

“No. I’ve heard of them. I’m not
that
young. Besides, my cousin Mara is dating the lead singer.”

"What? Tagg Holland?" asked Rick, eyebrows shooting towards his hairline.

"Yeah, she started dating him last year; he's opening up a music camp for the underprivileged soon."

“Wow, yeah, I'd heard that, Camp Holland, right?"

"Yeah."

"Anyway, Matty's in the area this weekend, probably visiting Tagg, so I asked him to play with me tonight. It’s sort of a surprise for the bar. So, shhh.” Rick put his finger to his smiling lips.

“Did you ever think of...” Lena paused to say this just right, so not to offend Rick in any way. “I don’t know…keeping your songs for yourself and…” She couldn’t seem to find the right words without sounding shallow.

“Trying to make it in the music business?”

Lena simply nodded.

“No. Not for me. I like my quiet life. I like the crowd I perform for. I like riding my horses and my motorcycle. I like my life. It’s…almost perfect.”

“Almost?”

“I’m only missing one thing.” Lena could hear forlorn in his voice. After waiting for Rick to proceed with his statement, she realized he wasn’t intending to fill her in on what was missing in his life.

So she decided it was her turn to change the subject. She caught something in what he’d said before and wondered about it. “Rick, before, you mentioned that you go see your brother on the weekends, but I thought you had said once that you were an only child?”

His eyes grew wide, as if he were caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Oh. Um. You caught that huh?” Rick asked. “I meant my grandmother’s brother. My great-uncle. He’s ninety-nine this year. I visit him every now and then, since she’s not around anymore…So, um, let me go see what’s taking Gina so long with our food.”

And he was up and gone from the table in an instant. Lena wondered what that was about. What about his uncle left Rick so tight-lipped? Well, it's not that big of a deal. Lena was having a nice time with Rick. She wasn’t going to let a little secret, especially one so inconsequential, ruin her night.

Now if she could only get rid of her stomachache. Those butterflies were wreaking havoc tonight.

Lena and Rick were just about done with dinner when Lindsey, Betty and Gary showed up. “Hey, you two.” Lindsey beamed.

“Hey,” Lena and Rick said in unison.

“Hey, guys,” Rick greeted Betty and Gary, who lagged behind Lindsey a bit.

“Hey, Rick, I see you got a drum set up there tonight. You playing?” Lindsey asked.

“Nope.” Rick was wearing a huge grin.

“Who is?’

“A friend of mine,” was all he’d say. “Listen guys, you mind keeping Lena company? I see my
friend
is here and I’d like to talk to him.” Rick winked at Lena.

Up on the make-shift stage, Rick sat on a stool, his guitar strapped around him, his hand on the microphone. “Hey y’all.”

The Tavern patrons hooted and hollered.

“Who out there remembers the band, Holland?”

More hootin’. More hollerin’.

“Well, then I guess y’all remember a little drummer named Matty Em?”

Now the crowd went wild. They stood. They clapped. They relished in the company of famed drummer, Matty Em, from the 90s band, Holland.

Matty ran out on stage, waving and thanking the audience for the generous welcome. He took his seat behind the drums and began tapping the rims with his sticks.

Rick, still seated upon his stool, stomped his foot along with Matty’s beat. Clapping his hands above his head, directing the crowd to do the same, Rick began singing. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah," and invited everyone to do the same. After a couple of lines of ‘yeah, yeah…,’ Rick sang the first two verses of the song with only the beat of Matty’s drum, the crowd clapping to the beat, and Rick’s heel meeting the floor at the same intervals.

Lena recognized the song. It was a popular song she heard on the radio all the time.

He was good, she thought. Rick’s voice was nice. Smooth. Rick exuded confidence up there. Lena got pretty turned on watching him entertain the crowd. Every now and then he’d turn his head in her direction and wink. Those warm feelings she had earlier were returning.

When they finished the song, Rick walked over to Matty to say something, then she heard the drum. Rick started on his guitar. Lena didn't recognize the song, but the crowd seemed to know it. She liked the upbeat tune, yet the words conveyed a relationship that could never be. Something about the girl being part of a past that the boy could no longer return to. It was really good. She’d wondered why she hadn’t heard it before. Lena made a mental note to ask Rick about it later.

After about an hour, Rick and Matty informed everyone they were taking a break. Rick pulled up a seat next to Lena. She handed him a cold beer that Gina had placed on the table about two minutes before the break. Gina seemed to know his routine pretty well…and she didn’t appear to like Lena very much.

“So, did you enjoy it?” Rick asked Lena after he took a sip of his beer.

“I did. Very much so.” Lena beamed at the handsomely sweaty man in front of her. “You’re an awesome musician.”

“Thanks.” He wiped his brow with his sleeve and took another swig of beer.

“When did you learn to play?”

“I’m not really sure. It was just something I’ve always been able to do.”

Impressed, Lena asked, “Really? Do you play any other instruments besides guitar?”

Lindsey laughed. “Are you kidding me, Lena? This man’s a one-man band. He can play anything.”

Lena turned to Rick, who was now red with embarrassment. “Lena, honey, I’ll be right back. I just have to see a man about a horse.” Then he kissed her on the forehead and left.

That was an odd expression, Lena thought. She could remember her great-grandfather using that phrase frequently, when he was still alive.

“So isn’t he awesome, Lena? God, you are so lucky,” Lindsey whispered, when Rick was out of earshot.

“Lucky? Why?”

“Why? Because Rick adores you. Even Gary said so. He told me Rick was so happy you weren’t with Vince anymore.”

“Oh.” Lena blushed but didn’t really know what to say.

“And, oh, it is killing Gina that you are with him tonight. She’s had her eye on him for years. He went out with her once or twice, but she said he had been stuck on some girl from his past, but she still keeps trying.”

“Is he still stuck on that girl?”

“Gina?”

“No. The one from his past.” Lena felt a flicker of jealousy, and she didn’t like it. Not usually the jealous type, here she sat, upset that Rick had a past. He’s thirty-seven years old. Of course he had a past.

“Oh, I don’t really know. I told you he doesn’t like to date and when he does, it’s usually the girl who initiates it. But, here you are. And Gary told me Rick asked you, not the other way around, so, hey, maybe you’re just what he needed to get over his past.”