Matthew's Mask [Lords of Hawksfell Manor 3] (Siren Publishing Menage Amour) (3 page)

Matthew drank down some of the fine liquor then fingered the rim of the glass. “I want you to know I have a right to part of the estate, Lord Hawksfell. I have the papers to prove my legitimacy.”

“Legitimacy. Yes, the Hawk men love to throw that around almost as much as they like to fuck.”

Matthew blinked at the earl’s bluntness. “Yes.”

“Did you know my father?” He smiled, and Matthew found himself mirroring the expression. “I’m sorry. Our father?”

“No. His brother raised me. He died last month.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I’m not.” Matthew took another drink. “He was a bastard in more ways than one. I’m well rid of him.”

The earl placed his drink on a side table and stroked the cleft in his chin that matched his own. “And you had no idea he wasn’t your father?”

“None at all. I’m relieved, though.”

The earl laughed. “You wouldn’t be if you’d known our father, believe me.” He came to his feet. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like, Matthew. I’ve come to believe family is important, something I didn’t learn from our father.”

Matthew felt a stirring of the long-dormant need for family he hadn’t felt since he’d lost his mother. He tamped down that foolishness. “Thank you.

“I’ll see you settled in the bachelor quarters. The rooms are large and should afford you privacy, should you need it.”

Matthew must have looked confused, for the earl smiled again. “You haven’t been in this part of Yorkshire for long, have you?”

“I’m afraid not. I was at the Inn at Helmsley last spring, though.”

The earl’s dark Hawk eyes narrowed. “No gossip reached you there?”

Matthew shrugged. “I wasn’t there long.”

The earl looked pensive, and then he waved a hand. “My staff is very well-paid, Matthew. Devoted and discreet.”

“I don’t know what you’re getting at, Lord Hawksfell.”

“Gabriel, please.”

Matthew felt a shift in his chest as he made this first tenuous connection to the earl. “Gabriel.”

His smile came again. “My staff is at your disposal. They know of the Hawks’ particular needs and will serve you should you require it.”

Realization struck Matthew, and his mouth dropped open. “You want me to…take your servants?”

“That’s your decision. I would prefer you keep your lusts here at the manor instead of heading down to that blasted inn.”

He thought again of that sweet girl he’d had last spring at that blasted inn. “Why?”

“Do you want to be like our forebears, following wherever your cock goes with no regard to the progeny?” There was an edge to Gabriel’s voice, and Matthew knew he meant what he said.

“No. I would prefer to be nothing like my uncle, thank you.”

“Or our father, believe me,” Gabriel added. “I’ll have Grantley, my man-of-affairs, review your papers, but I’m sure they’re in order. You have my face, after all.”

Matthew almost laughed. “Thank you, Gabriel.”

He walked over to the door and turned once more. “I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for here, Matthew.”

He nodded, and the earl left him in solitude. What was he looking for?

“Pity I don’t even know what that is,” he said to himself.

Chapter 3

“What do you think, Posy?”

Posy started and glanced at the maid seated across from her at the long table in the servant’s hall. Lily’s head was tilted, and her green eyes were wide as she waited for Posy’s response.

“What did you say, Lily?”

Lily smiled. “I was talking about the viscount, Posy. Surely you saw him when he arrived.”

Posy’s stomach dipped, and she nodded. “Yes, I saw him.”

“He’s as pretty as the earl,” Lily said. She worked on the seam of one of Lady Hawksfell’s gloves. “Just like the earl in fact, but less…”

“Frightening?” Posy finished. She bit her lip. “I didn’t mean frightening, exactly,” she rushed out.

Thankfully they were alone in the servants’ hall. Lily nodded. “I know what you mean.” She looked around, probably to make sure that Mrs. Holmes wasn’t within listening distance. “I know I’ve only been at the manor for a month, but I’ve heard talk.”

Please don’t ask me about the earl.
“What kind of talk?” Posy asked.

Lily shrugged. “That the earl used to be…demanding.”

“Don’t let her ladyship hear you talking like that,” Posy warned.

“The earl and Mr. Crowley have been very nice to me,” Lily went on. “And her ladyship has been very kind since I’ve come to work for her. I wouldn’t want to say anything to make her angry.”

Posy didn’t want to see the countess angry, either. She might decide to revoke the earl’s offer months ago that all the servants could stay on at the manor even though he didn’t need their sexual services. As Mary’s replacement the countess found in London, Lily couldn’t know much about what the manor used to be like. Before the earl met her ladyship and Mr. Crowley, that was.

Posy missed Mary so much, her friendship and her advice, but she wasn’t about to share her feelings with this girl. Lily was quite pretty for a lady’s maid, with dark hair like William and unusual green eyes, but Posy knew Lady Hawksfell had no worries over her. The earl was clearly in love with his lady and would never take a servant again. Yet again Posy regretted everything she’d ever said and every way she’d ever acted regarding the earl’s past desires and demands.

“Don’t believe everything you hear, Lily,” Posy told her.

“Everything, Posy?” Lily leaned forward, her eyes intent. “What about the stories I’ve heard about you?”

Posy stood, willing her trembling legs to hold her up. “Like I said before,” she said, her tone clipped, “don’t believe everything you hear.”

Her throat tight, she left the common room for the attics. It was about time to change into black for the afternoon, anyway. She wouldn’t find another person to share her hopes and dreams with at the manor. Certainly not with Lily the lady’s maid. Lily had no notion of what drove Posy to come to work here in the first place, of the hunger and hardscrabble life she’d led on the farm. Of the crushing loneliness she’d felt in that emotionless void of her grandparents’ home. Her eyes stung as she reached her room.

“Posy?” William called softly.

She turned, her hand still on the doorknob to her escape, to face him. “What is it, William?”

William studied her, his brown eyes showing his worry. “What happened earlier? When you saw the viscount?”

She smiled but didn’t feel up to flashing the flirty expression she usually turned toward him. “It’s nothing, really.”

He stepped closer, and she breathed in his clean, starchy scent. “You looked scared, love.”

Her breath caught. “Love?”

His cheeks reddened. “I know I haven’t said that often.”

“You haven’t said that
ever
, William.” Again, her eyes stung, but she wouldn’t cry in front of him. “Why are you saying it now? Do you think I’ll throw myself at the viscount?”

“No!” William looked flustered, his usually calm demeanor a memory. “I know what you did with the earl, Posy. You don’t have to do that now.”

“You know what I did with the earl. What, exactly, is that?”

“Well, he…”

“He fucked me?” she asked in a low voice. “I sucked his cock? What?”

William looked around then covered her hand on the doorknob and turned. He urged her inside and turned to pin her against the door. “I don’t want to hear about what you did with him.”

He buried his face in her neck and breathed in like he was pulling her deep inside him. She resisted the urge to wrap her arms around his broad shoulders and pressed back against the door instead. “Do you want to hear about what I didn’t do with him?”

He lifted his head. “What?” She saw the doubt clear in his eyes.

He would never believe her, not after the lengths she’d gone to perpetuating her ruse as a randy parlormaid. It would almost be funny if it didn’t hurt so much.

“Never mind,” she said. “Are you here for a quick tumble, William?”

He pulled back. “No!”

She heard his denial but didn’t believe it. His eyes were hot on her face, his cock hard against her belly, and she reached down to grasp him.

“Then what do you want?” she asked.

“I was worried about you.” He sucked in a breath as she gently squeezed him. “You looked so shocked when you saw the viscount, I thought—”

“You thought I let him fuck me already?” She laughed, but the sound was harsh in her ears. She
had
been with the newest Hawk, but that was months ago. “He only just arrived, William. Surely I should let him settle in before I raise my skirts for him.”

“Posy,” he said, his voice rough. “Don’t talk like that.”

She couldn’t handle this right now. Not after seeing Matthew again and not after hearing from Lily about what the staff still said about her. “Get out.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to leave you. I have to go get ready for service, but I don’t want to leave you.”

“What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone?”

He groaned and thrust against her palm. “Posy, don’t.”

“Don’t what?” She opened his trousers and stroked him. He was hot and hard and long, and she felt his strength in his shaft. “Do I have to suck you? Will you leave me alone then?”

He closed his eyes, biting his lip as he shook. “Posy, please.”

She released him and placed her hands on his chest. After a moment’s hesitation, she pushed. “Get out of my room.”

William stumbled back then winced as he tucked his cock back into his trousers. “I was worried about you. That’s why I came here.”

“Too true, I’m sure.” She glanced down at the straining front of his trousers. “You didn’t come here wanting your cock polished, then?”

He ran his fingers through his hair, ruining his usually perfect appearance. “I was worried about you! God, is it my fault that the second I’m near you I want you?”

“Because I’m available, William.” She turned away from him. “That’s why you want me.”

He put his hands on her shoulders, and she couldn’t bring herself to shrug him off. “I do want you, Posy. All the time. But I had to make sure that you were all right.”

She faced him again. “Because of the new Hawk?”

He grew quiet, and she heard her blood pounding in her ears. “Yes, because of the new Hawk.”

“Did I fuck the previous Hawk, William? Did Mary’s new husband take liberties with me?”

“No, but he fell in love with her.”

“Love,” she whispered. Her heart twisted. “Please get out. I have to get ready for the afternoon, too.”

He nodded. “I’m to act as valet for the earl’s brother.” He stilled. “That seems so odd to say.”

“Indeed,” she said.

He dropped a sweet kiss on her lips then left. She closed the door and leaned against it again. She could love William, if she thought for a minute he could believe she was more than an easy tumble. As for Matthew? She didn’t know what he was to her. He was her first lover, a romantic stranger with hot words and quick hands who had taken her virginity and given her a first taste of pleasure. But now that he was living here?

She felt the clock ticking down on her time here at the manor. The countess already believed she’d slept with the earl. What would happen if she learned the truth of what she’d actually done with the earl’s brother?

* * * *

Matthew sat in the parlor after the family went upstairs. It was passing strange to eat with family, even one that was so new to him. The earl was a gracious host and his wife a graceful hostess. Her third cousin, Mr. Michael Crowley, was a surprise, but it was obvious he felt at home here. He looked very much like the countess, and it was obvious both she and the earl cared very much for him. There was love at the manor, something that surprised him. Smiles easily given, teasing comments bantered over the table, loving looks exchanged. It all left him feeling hollow inside. Like he’d been missing something his whole life. Like he’d never really belong here. His stomach churned.

“Maybe I’ll dine alone tomorrow night,” he muttered.

“Did you need something, my lord?”

He turned to find a footman watching him from the door. It wasn’t William, the very proper one who was to serve as his valet, but a handsome, blond man. “Nothing…?”

“Cabot, my lord,” he said with a tilt of his head.

“Nothing, Cabot. You may retire if you like.”

“Very good, my lord.”

He stared at the fire. It was a welcome warmth on this chilly fall evening. The manor was beautiful and well-equipped. And well-staffed, he mentally added. The earl had been clear that morning about what he could expect from that staff should he want it. Maybe he should call the pretty footman Cabot back in here and have him suck him off. Maybe then he could summon the desire to take himself up to his very large, very comfortable, very lonely room in the bachelor wing.