Maternal Instinct (17 page)

Settled into the squad car, she waited for Hugh to go around to the driver's side.

He hadn't meant everything he'd said, had he? The sexiest of the McLean brothers—and that was saying something—hadn't fantasized about her. Not plain, skinny Nell
Granstrom
, with hair and eyes of colors so in-between, she didn't know how to describe them on her driver's license application. She'd
seen
women he dated, like Kelly Nordstrom, a petite, elfin blonde who worked in the PA's office, or Roberta
Vangel
, with size four hips and C cup breasts, who was a cardiac care nurse. Nell wasn't in their class.

She appreciated the thought, though. Hugh wasn't just honorably offering marriage, he was actually trying to
persuade
her to accept. She wished she could be sure why he was going to such lengths. Did he feel obligated, but had his fingers crossed behind his back in silent prayer that she'd say no? Or did he want to marry the mother of his child? Did he really think they could make a success of it?

Or was he imagining a comfortable, live-in arrangement that left him free to sleep with the next Kelly Nordstrom who caught his eye?

"What?" He was behind the wheel, one hand outstretched to put the key in the ignition, and staring at her strangely.

Flustered, Nell asked, "Did I say something?"

"I thought you asked me about Kelly. Kelly who?"

It just popped out. "Kelly Nordstrom."

His hand dropped and his dark brows drew together. "What in hell does some woman I dated a year ago have to do with anything?"

"I couldn't live with a … a philandering husband." How prissy she sounded! Nell thought, hearing herself as if she floated above the conversation.

He gave a disbelieving grunt. "That's how you see me?"

"You like women. I'm … not an especially gorgeous one." She tried to keep her shrug uncaring. Unfortunately, she'd forgotten the stab of pain moving her shoulder would provoke. Wincing, she didn't add,
Not the kind to keep the attention of a man like you.

Hugh shook his head. "If Bill Nelson from
The Sentinel
wasn't four feet away, I'd kiss you."

"You'd—" Her voice squeaked.

"Yup. You heard me." Her partner started the car, lifted a hand to their curbside audience, and drove out from under the emergency room portico.

They'd gone half a mile before he said quietly, "Think about it. That's all I ask."

Nell studied his profile. "You're really serious."

A nerve in his cheek jumped. "I'm serious."

"I have a teenage daughter."

"I noticed," he said dryly.

"She doesn't exactly need a father, but…"

"She's important and part of the family. I recognize that."

Another few blocks passed.

"What would your brothers say?" Nell asked with reluctance. Even when she'd told herself she despised the youngest, she had secretly admired the older McLean brothers.

He glanced at her. "'When's the wedding?'"

"That's not all they'll say." She stared unhappily ahead. "They'll think I trapped you."

"I didn't have to ask you to marry me."

Quite suddenly, Nell felt resentful, even angry, at the turmoil he'd plunged her into. She turned her head and challenged, "Why did you?"

His fingers tightened with a spasm on the steering wheel. "I told you—"

"I don't believe any of it. Except that you want this baby to know his father," she admitted.

Jaw muscles knotted. "Then that's your problem."

He could sound more unemotional, remote, than any man she'd ever known. She'd always hated fighting the way she had with her mother during those volatile teen years, but now she found herself wanting to jab at him until he told her the truth, however painful. "You're home," he said.

Startled, she looked and saw that he was signaling to turn into her driveway.

"How did you know where I live?" she asked sharply.

"Asked dispatch."

"Oh."

"Fisher called your daughter, by the way." He still spoke in that cool, distant tone. "I didn't."

"Oh," she said again, sounding moronic. But she had wondered. As much as she'd had time to wonder about something that couldn't be helped now.

The car crunched to a stop. Colin's wasn't here, which meant … nothing, Nell thought with a twist of anxiety. He might have brought Kim home already… But she knew better. They were probably parked somewhere. He was comforting Kim. Eventually reassurance would turn to passion, and then… Nell bit her lip hard enough to taste blood.

"I'll help you to bed." Hugh was already out and slamming his door.

Damn it, she felt woozy again, and had to lean heavily on Hugh's arm as they went up the brick walk to the back door. She produced the key, he let them in.

"Kim?" she called, the minute they stepped in, but only silence answered them.

Hugh steered her down the hall. "She's worried about you. She'll be home."

Tears burned her eyes. She was an emotional mess, a state that she detested. She'd put this all behind her, too, when she became a single mother at sixteen. Déjà vu.

"Where's your bedroom?"

No man had asked her that in years. She'd dated, but been too cautious to let any relationship progress past a point.
The point of no return,
she thought fuzzily. How had this one?

Her bedroom was high-ceilinged and almost spare, the walls white to emphasize the molding she'd worked so hard to strip and refinish. The canopy bed was her one indulgence, bought only last year. Delicate, lacy netting draped from the posts, softening the red-and-white Drunkard's Path quilt that covered the bed.

More irony, she realized. What was she weaving now but the drunkard's path?

Thank heavens they'd reached the bed, because her thoughts felt swathed in that netting. She wasn't far from passing out.

"You should have stayed in the hospital." Boosting her onto the high mattress, Hugh sounded grim again.

"I'm fine." Brave words from a woman collapsing against the heap of pillows. Her forehead was sweat-beaded from the effort of getting this far.

"Uh-huh." He was pulling off her shoes, then her socks, and finally reaching for the button on her pants.

She swatted at his hands. "What are you doing?"

"Undressing you. Don't worry." Despite her interference, he was yanking her pants down. "I've seen it all."

Nell gave an inarticulate howl of protest and grabbed for the quilt.

"For God's sake, hold still!" Hugh's eyes glittered and his mouth was set in a hard line. "I'm not going to rape you."

"Why would you bother?" she asked bitterly.

He snarled and unbuttoned her shirt. Rolling her like a doll, he eased it off and managed to get her under the bedclothes.

"See? Safe and sound."

Exhausted, she panted for breath.

"Are you hungry?"

Nell shook her head.

"I hear a car door." Hugh stood and went to the window. "Your wandering offspring returns. I'll get you something to drink."

He vanished before she could do more than feel a leap of hope.

It hadn't been that long. Kim wouldn't be home yet if she'd had sex with Colin.

She knew the sound of her daughter's footsteps racing down the hall.

"Mom!" Kim paused in the doorway, eyes huge and drenched. "Oh, Mom!"

Even Nell's good arm felt leaden, but she lifted it anyway. Kim flung herself onto her mother's bed and burrowed into her side.

"I was so scared!"

"I was scared, too," Nell admitted, tears overflowing.

Kim lifted her head. "When you got shot?"

Voice taking a few hitches, Nell said, "And when you went running out of the hospital."

"How can you be pregnant?" Sitting up, Kim sounded genuinely bewildered as well as hurt. Moms didn't have sex, much less foul up this badly. But she reversed herself immediately. "No! We can talk about it tomorrow. You look awful, you know," she said candidly. Her voice stiffened at the mere mention of the name of Nell's partner. "Officer McLean said to take good care of you. He poured you a glass of milk, 'cause he said it would help keep the pain pills from giving you a stomachache. I'll go get it."

"He's gone?" Nell asked, starting to sit upright.

"Why would he stay, now that I'm home?" Emotions flitted across her face. "I guess he's your boyfriend or something. But you've never even talked about him that way!"

Wearily, Nell thought of all the explaining she had to do.

"It was … sudden," she said.

"Is
he your boyfriend?" Good intentions vaporized, Kim made the question a challenge.

"I think we might get married," Nell said carefully. "Because of the baby."

Her daughter stared. "Married?" she whispered.

"I would have married your father, for you."

"But he didn't care enough." Kim had come to terms with it, as much as anyone could.

"Hugh does."

"Oh." The teenager processed the concept. "Then he'll be living here. Or we'll have to move?"

"I don't know. We haven't gotten that far in talking about it."

"It's—it's weird!" Kim burst out.

Nell closed her eyes. "Tell me about it."

"I'm sorry!" Her daughter's weight hit the bed again, and Kim gave her an impetuous kiss. "I'm sorry! I'll get the milk."

Alone again, Nell sank into a daze. They might get married? She'd said that?

I would have married your father, for you.

How could she do less for this baby?

She laid a light hand on her belly in the first protective acknowledgement of the new life growing there.

Nobody married because of an unwanted pregnancy anymore. But she knew she would, if he really meant it. For the baby, and because…

She almost cut off the thought, then made herself finish it, if only this once, if only privately. Because she was painfully close to being in love with Hugh McLean.

She let out a long, tremulous breath and heard him say huskily,
If
Bill Nelson from
The Sentinel
wasn't four feet away, I'd kiss you.

So why hadn't he, once they were alone? If he meant everything he said?

Chapter 8

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"
H
ey, Mom
." Hugh leaned a hip against the island in his mother's kitchen.

"You're early." His ever elegant mother turned from the stove with a smile. Beneath a practical white chef's apron, she wore a paisley silk blouse in rust and deep purple that suited her cap of silver-streaked auburn hair. Her makeup was carefully done, her earrings and bracelet delicate braided gold.

She hadn't had the money when he and his brothers were kids to turn herself out so beautifully, but she'd always had that steel control. Her grief when her husband was gunned down had gone bone deep, but he had no memory of her crying.

"I wanted to talk to you," he admitted. The rest of the family wasn't due to arrive to Sunday dinner for half an hour. He'd decided to spring his news on his mother first, maybe because he was most nervous about her reaction.

Yesterday morning, Nell had accepted his proposal. He had gone by her place to see how she was, only to find her up and dressed, looking like hell, but one flash of her eyes defied him to say so.

"Why aren't you in bed?" he'd asked.