Master of None (41 page)

I laughed. “You’ve got a lot to learn about humans, my friend. Or should I call you Grandpa?”

“That will not be necessary. Ian will do.” His features grew serious. “You are certain this is what you want?”

“Does a bear crap in the woods?”

“What?”

“Never mind.” I clapped his arm. “Look. You told me you were going to help me achieve my life’s purpose. Yeah, you were lying through your teeth at the time, but it worked anyway.” I looked at the silent baby monitor and imagined Jazz and Cyrus upstairs. “This is my life. It’s with her and with you.”
I grinned. “Besides, why go back to stealing when I can save the world instead? Always wanted to be a hero.”

Ian smirked. “Did you, now?”

“Sure. Only not Superman. He flies.”

I decided not to tell Ian—or Jazz—that I planned to keep practicing. I wouldn’t actually steal anything, but I wanted my skills to stay sharp. Just in case we ended up needing a window.

Being a thief did come in handy sometimes.