Master of My Mind BN (15 page)

Sudden movement drew my attention, and as I lolled my head
to the right, Tony’s head lifted from the mattress as his body shifted in the
chair beside me. His soft brown eyes, heavy with sleep, opened and began to
fill with tears as his chin began to quiver.

“Oh, baby,” he whispered. “Thank god you’re back.”

Standing up, he leaned over and gazed into my eyes. Two
tears spilled over his lashes and glided into the stubble covering his face.
Dark circles ringed his leaking eyes. I tried to talk, but my throat was
clogged with something more than emotion. Tony pressed his warm lips against my
forehead, and my heart dissolved beneath his tender kiss.

“I’ve been so scared,
Leagh
. So
fucking scared,” Tony spoke against my skin as his tears spilled onto the pale
blue cotton gown draped upon my shoulders.

Tears slid down my cheeks; still his lips huddled against my
forehead as he murmured his relief that I’d opened my eyes.

I wanted to tell him not to cry, but the best I could
conjure was a groan.

Tony slowly eased back wiping his eyes before he softly
blotted mine away with the pads of his thumb.

“
Shhh
, don’t try to talk,
sweetheart. There’s a tube in your throat to help you breathe. You’re in the
hospital,” he sniffed and swallowed tightly as fresh tears streaked his
handsome face.

His overwhelming emotions frightened me, but his glowing
smile settled me. I raised my weighted right arm and cupped his cheek.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Tony choked as he enveloped my hand with
his and closed his eyes. “Your touch feels like heaven.”

Peeling my hand from his face, he placed a reverent kiss in
my palm. “I want you to blink one time for yes and two times for no. Can you do
that for me, angel?”

I blinked once, and Tony smiled.

“Excellent. Do you remember the accident?”

Accident?
What accident?
My heart thundered in my ears,
and I felt my eyes grow wide before I blinked twice.

“Thank god,” Tony exhaled. “When you left Reed’s office, you
got hit by a car.”

I squeezed Tony’s hand as I felt my brows furrow in
confusion. I didn’t remember a damn thing. How could I not remember something
as horrific as being hit by a car?

“Don’t panic, sweetheart. You’re going to be fine. I know
you’re scared and have a million questions. I can see it your eyes, but relax
for me. Take some deep breaths. Okay? I’m right here and I’m not going
anywhere. I promise.”

I blinked once and tried to relax, but my mind wouldn’t stop
spooling through the fog that wouldn’t seem to clear.

“It was a hit and run. Some of the witnesses got the license
number of the car, but it came back stolen. The cops are anxious to talk to
you, but so far they haven’t found the person who hit you. You’ve got a couple
cracked ribs. One of them punctured your lung. That’s why they have you on the
ventilator. I’m sure it’ll be coming out soon, now that you’re awake. It won’t
be long until you can ask all the questions racing through that gorgeous head
of yours.”

I blinked once and squeezed his hand. Glancing down, I began
to take inventory of my injuries. My left arm was encased in a thick white cast
from below my elbow to my hand. Only the tips of my fingers were visible. I
could see my toes peeking from beneath another cast covering my leg from my
knee to my ankle.

“It looks a lot worse than it actually
is,
angel. I’m sure if you could talk you’d argue with me,” Tony replied with a
strained chuckle. “You have a fractured ankle and wrist, and your knee was
dislocated, but they fixed that in the emergency room when you were brought in.
Other than a ton of scrapes and bruises and the doctor wanting you to be
sedated for the past few days, to let your lung heal, you’re a hell of a lucky
woman.

I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as Tony listed off
the injuries I’d sustained. More worrisome than a few broken bones was the fact
that I couldn’t remember a damn thing about the accident.

“You also have a mild concussion. Things might be a little
fuzzy, and you might experience some heightened anxiety, but resting your brain
will help it heal.”

Anxiety?
Everything coming out of Tony’s mouth filled me with anxiety. Maybe the
concussion kept me from remembering the accident? My head throbbed like a bitch
when I tried to focus too keenly.

“I’ve got to tell you, angel, I’ve been out of my mind
sitting here watching you and worrying. I don’t know what I would have done
if…” Tony exhaled a deep sigh. I could see he was struggling to maintain his
composure. “When I first got here, they wouldn’t let me see you. I was climbing
the goddamn walls. Reed faxed over some paperwork, listing me, Mika, and Drake
as your next of kin. None of us knew how to contact your family.”

No. No. You can’t ever
contact them.
I screamed inwardly. Gripping his hand tight, I squeezed
my eyes closed twice.

“Sweetheart, I’m not stupid.” Tony leaned low. “I know
there’s a reason you carry a restraining order, I just don’t know who you’re
hiding from. Trust me. We’d never do anything to put you in harm’s way. We’re
here to keep you safe, I promise.”

Hoping that the gratitude filling my heart might somehow be
conveyed, I blinked once, very slowly.

“You’re welcome, angel.” Tony smoothed a knuckle over my
cheek. His dark expressive eyes were filled with compassion and something else.
Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. “Christ, it’s so good to see your
beautiful eyes again. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve waited for you to
look up at me like you’re doing right now. And just as soon as that tube comes
out, I’ll get to see smile for me again.”

Tony bent
low
 
and
nuzzled his nose against my cheek.
I savored his familiar rugged scent. Drank in the heat of his body and basked
beneath his gentle touch.

Easing back his compassionate brows furrowed. “Are you in
pain, sweetheart?”

I blinked twice.

Holding onto my good hand, Tony settled back down in the
chair next to the bed. “Doctor Coleman, the orthopedic surgeon who’s been
looking after you, has assured me that you should heal up just fine. You’re
going to need some physical therapy, but don’t worry. You
are
going to be okay.”

Again I blinked once, and even as Tony told me not to worry;
fear blossomed in my stomach. I wanted to remember the accident, but my brain
felt as if it were wrapped in gauze.
“When you
left Reed’s office, you got hit by a car.”
Focusing on Reed as a
starting point, flashes of images began to appear.
Sloane.
Hayden. Running down the fire exit as Reed called out my name. George.
His Mistress.
His lies.
A low groan
rumbled in my chest.
 

“What is it, sweetheart? Where does it hurt?”

My heart?
While the dull throb of
my body wasn’t pleasant, it paled in comparison to the agony in my soul. I
blinked twice and gently shook my head. Staring up at Tony, tears clouded my
vision before leaking out the corners of my eyes.

“Things are coming back now, aren’t they?”

I nodded.

“I’m so sorry you had to learn about George like that that.
Reed was on the sidewalk and saw it all happen. He called Mika right away and
rode in the ambulance with you. Reed’s a mess, angel. He’s blaming himself for
telling you about Paula…”

I closed my eyes and turned my head the other way. I didn’t
want to hear her name again. I didn’t want to know anything about her. I wanted
her to stay an apparition. It would be easier for me to hate a ghost than an
actual human being.

“Listen to me,
Leagh
. Don’t jump
to conclusions. You don’t know the whole story. There’s more to this than you
think.”

Jerking my head in his direction, pain erupted in my head
like a sledge hammer. My eyes flew open, and I pinned Tony with a hateful
glare.
Jump to conclusions?
The man I
loved, and thought loved me, had another woman on the side. A woman he made
love to, laughed with, and shared parts of himself that I thought were mine. I
didn’t want to hear the
whole story
. The
bits and pieces that had already been revealed to me were quite enough.

“Let me explain it to you,” Tony sighed.

Blinking twice, I shook my head and closed my eyes, shutting
Tony out.

“Okay, my little hardheaded minx, I’ll let it rest for now.
But we will talk about it later.”

I slowly shook my head.
No,
we won’t.
I vowed. Keeping my eyes closed, I escaped back into the
darkness.

Even when the disturbing nightmares returned, they were far
easier to cope with than my fucked up reality. In my dream, I heard the
gunshot, smelled the bitter scent of copper pennies, and saw the blood on my
hands. The sound of someone calling my name saved me from reliving the horrific
events again. When I opened my eyes, a sandy haired man with twinkling blue
eyes stood by my bed.

“Hello,
Leagh
. It’s nice to
finally meet you. My name is Dr. Coleman. I’ve been taking care of you for the
past two days.

Two days.
It didn’t
seem possible I’d lost two
whole
days.
Looking around the room, a dark haired nurse stood at the foot of my bed, wearing
reassuring smiles. On my left, Tony stood, gazing down at me. The stubble on
his face was thicker than normal. He looked as if he hadn’t left my side. Tony
hadn’t been taking care of himself, and I worried as I gazed at the even darker
circles that resembled bruises around his tired eyes. But the level of comfort
from just having him near made me realize that Tony was my beacon of calmness.

He stepped up alongside the bed and cupped my cheek.
“Everything is going to be okay, sweetheart.”

I gave him a quick nod and that breath-taking smile of his
spread across his lips.

“You’ll be back on your feet in no time,
Leagh
.
Both of them,” the doctor chuckled. “I think you’ll feel a lot better once we
got this vent off you. We’ll let you suck on some ice chips and maybe say a few
words. Does that sound like a good idea?”

I nodded, anxious to get the damn tube out of my throat and
feel human again.

Dr. Coleman and the nurse hovered over me as Tony stepped
away. Following the doctor’s instructions after he lowered the bed, I coughed
as the tube scraped free of my esophagus. It hurt to swallow, but it was a
blessed relief not having that nasty thing blocking my airway.

“All done.
Does that feel better?”
Dr. Coleman asked with a smile.

“Yes,” I nodded. My voice sounded brittle and raspy, but I
didn’t care. I could finally talk.

“I’ll be back later to check in on you,” the doctor
announced with a reassuring smile.

“Thank you,” I whispered, wincing as I swallowed again.

“Don’t let her talk too much,” he said to Tony. “Ice chips
will help her sore throat.”

“I’ll take good care of her. Thank you,” he smiled, shaking
he doctor’s hand.

After they left the room, Tony turned his attention toward
me. Doting on me like a mother hen, he spoon fed me crushed ice, shushing me
each time I tried to talk. I couldn’t have asked for a better nurse, or a more
infuriating one. I wanted to talk!

The next day a steady stream of visitors started bringing
flowers, and food, and smiles. Reed was the first to come see me, full of
apologies and burdened with remorse. I did my best to assure him the accident
wasn’t his fault. Worried he would start discussing Paula again, I was grateful
he didn’t and neither did Tony. It was only a matter of time before the good
doctor gathered up his scalpel and probe and started digging deep into my
psyche, but Tony seemed content letting me gain back my strength and start
physically healing. Besides, I wasn’t mentally ready to tackle the anger or
pain I felt toward George.

The day I got released from the hospital, the whole gang
showed up to whisk me back to my little room at Genesis. Mika looked haggard
and tried his best to be patient and understanding with Julianna’s snippy,
miserable mood. I wanted to tell her she’d be back to her happy go lucky self
soon and that I remembered how I’d once felt big as a house with legs. But that
was from another lifetime none of them knew about. So I simply lent support to
her as best I could with a bittersweet smile.

Drake and Tony began to argue about which one of them was going
to lift me from the bed into the wheelchair. Evidently the nurse filling out my
paperwork had dealt with overbearing, testosterone-laced men before. With a
heavy sigh, she shoved them out of the way before helping me out of bed. It was
a good thing she’d had her back to the fuming
Doms
,
because the caustic scowls that lined their faces frightened even me.

Dylan, Nick, and Savannah had loaded up the numerous vases
of flowers onto a push cart. Trevor held all the balloons. With my belongings
stowed in a white plastic bag, we paraded out of the hospital. En mass, we
loaded into the bevy of vehicles parked at the hospital entrance and headed
home. Stretched out in the back of Mika’s Escalade, I leaned against Tony’s
wide chest. Tilting my head, I smiled up at him.

“Thank you for…everything.”

“You don’t need to thank me, angel. I’m going to take good
care of you.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss on the top of my head.

By the second day home at Genesis, Tony had moved in with
me. And over the weeks that passed not only did he manage to juggle work and
fulfill his duties at the club, but he cooked my meals, gave me sponge baths –
which were so awkward for me I sent him to the drug store to buy adult bath
wipes. He washed my hair, dressed me, and taxied me to every doctor
appointment. Tony even took me out to lunch a couple times a week. The man was
a Saint. Even when I’d become grouchy and snarly for not being able to care for
myself, he ignored my crabby moods, only threatening to spank me half a dozen
times.