Master of Her Innocence (Bought by the Brazilian) (15 page)

She walked over to the bed and dropped her passport into her bag, taking care, Diego noted, to avoid looking directly at him. ‘
We
are not going anywhere,’ she said flatly. ‘I’ve decided to fly home to England. I don’t want to tell my parents about the baby over the phone.’

‘Fine, we’ll go together so that I can meet your family before we get married. We can even have our wedding in England if you want.’

‘I don’t. I...I’m not going to marry you.’

‘
Deus
, Clare.’ Diego’s iron grip on his emotions snapped. ‘What the hell is the matter? You agreed we would get married once you had passed the first three months of your pregnancy.’ He strode over to her and caught hold of her shoulder, spinning her round to face him. She was pale, and the sight of faint tear streaks on her cheeks made his gut clench. ‘Do you feel ill? I thought the sickness was getting better.’

‘I feel fine.’ She dropped her head but Diego slid his hand beneath her chin and tilted her face upwards. She was so beautiful. He breathed in the fragrant rose perfume she always wore and felt a flare of panic when he realised how tense she was. Was she afraid of him?

‘You know that my mother admitted she killed the guy, not me,’ he said hoarsely. He remembered his mother had written her confession in Portuguese. ‘If you don’t believe me, I’ll give you the letter and you can have it translated.’

‘I do believe you.’

He wasn’t convinced. ‘You have nothing to fear from me,
querida
. I would never hurt you or our child.’

‘I know you wouldn’t.’ Clare bit her lip. This was even more difficult than she had expected. But she knew she was doing the right thing, and her resolve hardened. ‘We don’t have to be married for our baby to take your name. When he or she is born we can simply register them with the name Cazorra. Nor do we have to be married to be parents to our child. I am willing to move to Brazil so that we can live near each other and take an equal share of parenting. Many families have arrangements that aren’t conventional, and if we both try we can make the arrangement I’ve described work for us and, more importantly, for our child.’

A cold hand of fear curled around Diego’s heart when he saw Clare’s determined expression. ‘When we first found out about your pregnancy, I told you I couldn’t be a proper husband and father because I was afraid that I might be a murderer and I could not put you or our child at risk of my temper. But now I know the truth and I am free of that worry.’

‘Exactly,’ Clare said huskily. ‘You are finally free, Diego. You spent two years in prison but twenty years imprisoned in your mind for a crime you didn’t commit. Do you think I haven’t worked out that you shunned relationships and never allowed yourself to fall in love because you were afraid of yourself, and afraid that you might be a manic killer? That must have been an unbearable burden to carry.’

She had to be brave, even though she could feel her heart breaking, Clare told herself. ‘I conceived your baby as a result of a moment of madness. I refuse to sentence you to be imprisoned in a marriage of convenience because you feel it is your duty to your child. For the first time in your life you are free to fall in love and choose the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.’

Wild and uncontrollable emotions were storming through Diego, smashing down the last of his barriers and making him feel exposed and vulnerable in a way he had never felt before. He thought he understood what Clare was doing, why she seemed to be pushing him away. But he could be wrong and if he was, and she really did not want to marry him, then the future looked unbearably bleak.

‘And what if I choose you as the woman I want to spend my life with?’ he said roughly. ‘What if I told you I love you? Would you agree to marry me then?’

She shook her head and Diego stared into the abyss.

‘It’s a little too convenient for you to suddenly decide you are in love with me.’ There was a catch in her voice. ‘I know why you said it. I know you want to be a devoted father like you wish your father had been. I promise I will never come between you and your child.’ A single tear slipped down her cheek and she hastily wiped it away. ‘You will be a wonderful father,’ she choked out, but Diego did not appear to be listening.

‘
Convenient!
There is nothing convenient about loving you,
anjinho
. I knew when I first saw you, a picture of innocence in your nun’s habit and veil, that you were trouble,’ he growled. ‘I wanted to do all sorts of unholy things to you, and when we made love in the cave I was willing to pay for my sin of desiring you by spending the rest of my life in purgatory—because that night was the most beautiful night of my life.’

He cradled her face in his hands and gently wiped another tear from her cheek with his thumb. ‘I should have been furious when I discovered you had tricked me and were not committed to a life of religious devotion, but all I could think of was that you were free to come to my bed.’ His eyes darkened with remembered shadows. ‘But I wasn’t free to follow my heart and fall in love with you. I had to protect you from the monster I believed was inside me.’

‘Oh, Diego, it breaks my heart to think of all the years you spent alone, fearing to love anyone,’ Clare whispered.

He breathed deeply and prayed for the first time in his life. ‘The truth is that I never met any woman who touched my heart until I met you,
meu amor
.’ His voice deepened. ‘I love you, Clare. Not because it is convenient and not because you are carrying my child. I love you because you are the bravest, craziest, most beautiful, sexiest woman I have ever met. When you told me you trusted me, you made me feel like I could conquer the world. But I don’t want the world, all I want is you. Our baby will be a wonderful bonus. But I am asking you,
querida
, I am begging you to marry me, because you are everything to me and without you I am nothing.’

The look in Diego’s eyes was love, Clare realised dazedly. His words had chipped away at her defences, but the raw emotion blazing in his silver gaze made her believe him.

‘When I said I wouldn’t marry you, I was trying to be noble,’ she explained shakily. ‘You could have any woman you choose...’

‘I choose you,’ he said fiercely. ‘I don’t want you to be noble, I want you to love me.’

She heard the boy beneath the man, the poet who had read words of love but never heard them spoken to him. Clare reached up and stroked her fingers across the blond stubble on his jaw, traced his beautiful mouth with her fingertips.

‘I do love you, with all my heart and all my soul. You are the other half of me, my hero, my protector, my lover and my husband—I hope,’ she added tremulously.

‘Try and stop me,’ Diego whispered against her lips, before he claimed her mouth and kissed her with all the passion and tenderness and love that he had kept locked inside him for so long, until Clare had unlocked his heart and set him free.

* * *

Six months later baby Rose Cazorra entered the world and promptly stole her parents’ hearts.

‘You wouldn’t believe such a tiny baby could have such a loud cry,’ Diego said as he cradled his daughter in his arms. ‘I think Rose has inherited your fiery temperament, as well as your red hair and blue eyes,’ he told Clare.

She smiled. ‘You could be right. Mum says I had a very loud cry when I was a baby. I can’t wait for my parents to arrive tomorrow to visit their new granddaughter. We haven’t seen them since our wedding.’

They had married in England five months earlier in a simple but intensely moving ceremony at Clare’s parish church. She had worn a white dress decorated with tiny crystals, and white rosebuds in her hair. Diego had looked eye-catchingly handsome in a light grey suit, but his eyes had been focused on his new wife as they had stood on the steps of the church and he’d swept her into his arms and kissed her.

‘Te adoro,’
he had whispered to her on their wedding day, and he repeated those words now, first to his baby daughter as he placed her in her crib, and then to Clare when he lay down beside her on their bed and drew her into his arms. ‘You are my world, you and Rose, and I will take care of you and protect you and love you every day of my life,’ he vowed.

‘Only every day?’ She pretended to pout. ‘Will you love me every night, too? Starting with tonight.’

Diego felt his body stir as desire heated his blood when Clare tugged the straps of her negligee down and her breasts spilled into his hands. ‘It’s only a few weeks since you gave birth to Rose. Do you feel ready for me to make love to you,
querida
?’

‘I always want you to love me,’ she whispered, tugging him down on top of her.

‘I always will,
anjinho
.’

* * * * *

In case you missed it, book one in the
BOUGHT BY THE BRAZILIAN
duet MISTRESS OF HER REVENGE is available now!

Uncover the wealthy Di Sione family’s sensational secrets in the brand new eight book series
THE BILLIONAIRE’S LEGACY
beginning with DI SIONE’S INNOCENT CONQUEST by Carol Marinelli

Also available this month.

Keep reading for an exclusive extract of
SLEEPLESS IN MANHATTAN
, the first book in
USA TODAY
bestselling author Sarah Morgan’s enthralling new trilogy,
FROM MANHATTAN WITH LOVE
!

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Sleepless in Manhattan

by Sarah Morgan

P
AIGE
STOOD
FOR
a moment, thinking how unpredictable life was.

Who would have thought that herself, Eva and Frankie losing their jobs would have turned out so well?

Urban Genie existed only because life had laid a twist in her path.

Change had been forced on her, but it had proved to be a good thing.

Instead of fighting it, she should embrace it.

What had Jake said?

Sometimes you have to let life happen.

Maybe she should try to do that a bit more.

And maybe one day she’d look back and realize that
not
being with Jake was the best thing that could have happened—because if she’d been with Jake she wouldn’t have met—

Who?

Would she ever meet someone who made her feel the way Jake did?

She stood leaning on the railing, gazing at the city she loved.

The lights of Manhattan sparkled like a thousand stars against a midnight sky and now, finally, as the last of the guests made their way to the elevators, she allowed herself a moment to enjoy it.

“Time to relax and celebrate, I think.”

Jake’s voice came from behind her and she turned to find him holding two glasses of champagne. He handed her one. “To Urban Genie.”

“I don’t drink while I’m working.” And while Jake was present this was definitely still work.

She knew better than to lower her guard a second time.

“The guests have gone. You’re no longer working. Your job is done.”

“I’m not off duty until the clear-up has finished.” And then tomorrow would be the follow-up, the postmortem. Discussions on what they might have done differently. They’d unpick every part of the event and put it back together again. By the time they’d finished they’d have found every weak spot and strengthened it.

“I don’t think one glass of champagne is going to impair your ability to supervise that. Congratulations.” He tapped his glass against hers. “Spectacular. Any new business leads?”

“Plenty. First up is a baby shower next week. Not much time to prepare, but it’s a good event.”

He winced. “A baby shower is
good
?”

“Yes. Partly because the woman throwing it for her pregnant colleague is CEO of a fashion importer. But all business is good.”

“Chase Adams is impressed. By tomorrow word will have got around that Urban Genie is the best event concierge company in Manhattan. Prepare to be busy.”

“I’m prepared.”

His praise warmed her. Her heart lifted.

He stood next to her and the brush of his sleeve against her bare arm made her shiver.

His gaze collided briefly with hers and she thought she saw a blaze of heat, but then he looked away and she did, too, her face burning.

She was doing it again. Imagining things.

And it had to stop.

It had to stop right now.

No more embarrassing herself. No more embarrassing
him
.

She turned her head to look at him but he was staring straight ahead, his handsome face blank of expression.

“Thank you,” she said.

“For what?”

“For asking us to do this. For giving us free rein and no budget. For trusting us. For inviting influential people and decision-makers. For making Urban Genie happen.” She realized how much she owed him. “I hate accepting help—”

“I know, but that isn’t what happened here. You did it yourself, Paige.”

“But I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you. I’m grateful. If you hadn’t suggested it, pushed me that night on the terrace, I wouldn’t have done it.” She breathed in. Now was as good a time as any to say everything that needed to be said. And if she said it aloud maybe it would help both of them. “There’s something else—” She saw him tense and felt a flash of guilt that he felt the need to be defensive around her.
Definitely
time to clear the air. “I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“For misreading the situation the other night. For making things awkward between us. I was...” She hesitated, trying to find the right words. “I guess you could say I was doing an Eva. I was looking for things that weren’t there. I was close to panic and you were trying to distract me. I understand that now. I don’t want you feeling that you have to avoid me, or be careful around me. I’d never want that. I—”

“Don’t. Don’t apologize.”

He gripped the railing and she noticed his knuckles were white.

“I wanted to clear it up, that’s all. It was a kiss. Didn’t mean anything. Two people trapped in an elevator, one of whom was feeling vulnerable.”
Shut up right now, Paige.
“I know I’m not your type. I know you don’t have those feelings. I’m like your little sister. I get that. So—”

“Oh, for—
Seriously?
” He interrupted her with a low growl and finally turned to face her. “After what happened the other night you really think I see you as
a little sister
? You think I could kiss you that way if I felt like that about you?”

She stared at him, her heart drumming a rhythm against her chest. “I thought— You said— I thought you saw me that way.”

“Yeah, well, I tried.” He gave a humorless laugh and drained his champagne in one mouthful. “God knows, I tried. I’ve done everything short of asking Matt for a baby photo of you and sticking that to my wall. Nothing works. And do you know why? Because I
do
have feelings, you’re
not
little and you’re not my damn
sister
.”

Shock struck her like a bolt of lightning.

They were the only two people left on the terrace. Just them and the Manhattan night. The buildings rose around them—dark shapes enveloping them in intimate shadows and the shimmer of light.

The storm clouds were gathering, creating ominous shadows in the dark sky.

The sudden lick of wind held the promise of rain.

Paige was oblivious. The sky might have come crashing down and she wouldn’t have noticed.

Her mouth was so dry she could hardly form the words. “But if you feel that way, if you do have feelings, why do you keep saying—” She stumbled over the words, confused. “Why haven’t you ever done anything about it?”

“Why do you think?”

There was a cynical, bitter edge to Jake’s tone that didn’t fit the nature of their conversation. None of the pieces fitted. She couldn’t think. Everything about her had ceased to function.

“Because of Matt?”

“Partly. He’d kick my butt. And I wouldn’t blame him.” He stared down at his hands, as if they were something that didn’t belong to him. As if he was worried about what they might do.

“Because you’re not interested in relationships—or ‘complications’ as you call them?”

“Exactly.”

“But sex doesn’t have to be a relationship. It can just be sex. You said so yourself.”

“Not with you.”

His tone was harsh and she took a step back, shocked. They’d often argued, baited each other, but she’d never heard that edge of steel in his voice before.

“Why? What’s different about me?”

“I’m not going to screw you and walk away, Paige. That’s not going to happen.”

“Because of our friendship? Because you’re worried it would be awkward?”

“Yeah, that, too.”

“Too? What else?” She stared at him, bemused.

He was silent.

“Jake? What else?”

He swore under his breath. “Because I care about you. I don’t want to hurt you. There’s already been enough damage to your heart. You don’t need more.”

The first raindrops started to fall.

Paige was still oblivious.

Her head spun with questions.
Where? What? Why? How much?
“So you— Wait—” She struggled to make sense of it. “You’re saying that you’ve been
protecting
me? No. That can’t be true. You’re the only one who
doesn’t
protect me. When everyone else is wrapping me in cotton wool, you handle me as though you’re throwing the first pitch at a game.”

He didn’t protect her. He
didn’t
. Not Jake.

She waited for him to agree with her, to confirm that he didn’t protect her.

He was silent.

There was a throbbing in her head. She lifted her fingers to her forehead and rubbed. The storm was closing in—she could feel it. And not just in the sky above her.

“I
know
you don’t protect me.” She tried to focus, tried to examine the information and shook her head. “Just the other night, when we found out we’d lost our jobs, Matt was sympathetic but you were brutal. I was ready to cry, but you made me so
angry
and—” She stared at him, understanding. She felt the color drain from her face. “You did it on purpose. You made me angry on purpose.”

“You get more done when you’re angry,” he said flatly. “And you needed to get things done.”

No denial.

He’d goaded her. Galvanized her into action.

“You challenge every idea I have.” She felt dizzy. “We fight. All the time. If I say something is black, you say it’s white.”

He stood in silence, not bothering to deny it, and she shook her head in disbelief.

“You
make
me angry. You do that on purpose. Because if I’m angry with you, then I’m not—” She’d been blind. She breathed hard, adjusting to this new picture of their relationship. The first boom of thunder split the air but she ignored it. “How long? How long, Jake?”

“How long, what?” He yanked at his bow tie with impatient fingers.

His gaze shifted from hers. He looked like a man who wanted to be anywhere but with her.

“How long have you cared? How long have you been p-protecting me?” She stumbled over the word—and the thought.

He ran his hand over his jaw. “Since I walked through the door of that damn hospital room and saw you sitting on the bed in your Snoopy T-shirt, with that enormous smile on your face. You were so brave. The most frightened brave person I’d ever seen. And you tried so hard not to let anyone see it. I have
always
protected you, Paige. Except for the other night, when I let my guard down.”

But he’d been protecting her then, too. He’d been taking care of her when she’d been so terrified she hadn’t known what to do.

“So you thought I was brave, but not strong? Not strong enough to cope alone without protection? I don’t understand. I thought you weren’t interested, that you didn’t want this, and now I discover—” It was a struggle to process it. “So this whole time you
did
care about me. You
do
.”

Rain was falling steadily now, landing in droplets on his jacket and her hair.

“Paige—”

“The kiss the other night—”

“Was a mistake.”

“But it was real. It wasn’t because I was a pair of red lips in an elevator. All these days, months,
years
I’ve been telling myself you didn’t feel anything. All the time I’ve been confused because my instincts were so wrong and I couldn’t understand why. But now I do. They weren’t wrong.
I
wasn’t wrong.”

“Maybe you weren’t.”

“So why let me think that?”

“Because it was easier.”

“Easier than what? Telling me the truth? News flash—and, by the way, I thought you knew this—I don’t want to be protected. I want to live my life. You’re the one who’s always telling me to take more risks.”

“Yeah, well, that proves you shouldn’t listen to anything I tell you. We should go inside before you catch pneumonia.”

He eased away from the railings and she caught his arm.

“I’ll go inside when I decide to go inside.” The rain was soaking her skin. “What happens now?”

“Nothing. I know you don’t want to be protected but that’s tough, Paige, because that’s what I’m doing. I’m not what you’re looking for and I never have been. We don’t want the same thing. There’s a car waiting downstairs to take you and the other two home. Make sure you use it.”

Without giving her a chance to respond, Jake strode away from her toward the bank of elevators and left her standing there, alone in the glittering cityscape, watching the entire shape of her life change. Another twist. Another turn. The unexpected.

Don’t miss
SLEEPLESS IN MANHATTAN
by Sarah Morgan, available from HQN Books.

Copyright © 2016 by Sarah Morgan