Master Me (13 page)

Her brow furrowed as a foreboding knot twisted in her stomach. Why the hell was she here at her apartment instead of at Max’s house? And where was he? She didn’t even remember him bringing her here. Had she passed out? She wouldn’t be surprised.

She’d pretty much lost it once the first blow had fallen.

Carefully, she climbed from her bed and felt the twinges of pain shoot through her rear. It wasn’t as horrible as she’d thought it would be, but she wondered how she’d sit all day at work. Standing seemed a good option.

Maybe Max would have a better idea that included more time in bed.

“Max,” she called, wandering through the house toward the living room. Perhaps he’d decided to sleep on the couch so he wouldn’t disturb her. She was more disturbed by his absence. She wanted to be in his arms.

Silence greeted her, while the knot in her stomach grew.

“Max?”

His name cut off in her throat as she spied the key on her table and she lifted her hand to her throat, trying to breathe. Instead of cool metal, her fingers closed on skin.

Tears blurred her vision as she dropped to her knees.

Max had removed her collar. She’d failed as a sub after all and lost her Dom just as she realized how much she loved him. Worse, she’d lost her best friend too.

Gathering herself together with the frayed edges of her being, she struggled to her feet. This was no different from all the times she’d been forced to say goodbye in the 95

Brynn Paulin

past, only this time he’d left before she could. Furiously, she scrubbed the tears from her eyes and sniffed, fighting for control.

She’d bury herself in something else. Work would distract her. She could go the whole day without accidentally running into Max, if he was even there. There was plenty to do and she needed to give her notice. Her eyes burned again. One day. That was all it had taken to completely foul up her life.

Congratulations
,
Anastasia
.
I bet this is some kind of record
. She wondered what the record was for the number of pieces a heart could shatter into. She’d probably broken that one too.

* * * * *

Ana stared at her pathetic excuse for a resignation letter and changed two words. It didn’t help. She changed them back, deleted a sentence and reinserted it in another spot. It was still pathetic. She might as well write “Goodbye, cruel world, I can’t take it anymore”. Theo would take one look at this note and think she was joking.

She shifted, trying to find the words to make it at least seem like English wasn’t her second language. Her backside didn’t feel too bad, unlike this morning. It was a good thing she found the cream and note Max had left behind. She couldn’t say her ass wasn’t tender by any stretch of the imagination but it wasn’t so bad. She’d survive.

The worst part was the knowledge this pain came from Tyler’s rage and not from Max’s love play. She’d have preferred it to have come from Max. Then she’d think of him and grow warm with every shift.

Thoughts of Max brought tears to her eyes again. All day, she’d waffled between just leaving work or going to his office to demand answers. What had she done to fail him so badly that he’d abandoned her?

Her head jerked up at a knock on her door. Max? A second later Theo and Ryan, not Max, stepped inside her tiny broom closet of an office. Theo quietly shut the door and took a seat in the chair opposite her, while Ryan perched on a filing cabinet.

96

Master Me

Their eyes seemed to inspect her, seeing beneath her clothes to her secrets. “How are you?” Theo asked and she felt heat surging up her neck, remembering what he’d seen last night. Anger accompanied her embarrassment. It was pretty damn nice. They were worried about her and Max didn’t seem to give a care.

“I’m fine,” she answered stiffly. She refrained from moving in her seat to alleviate her discomfort. There was no need to bring their attention to her pain.

“Are you?” Ryan asked in disbelief. “Well, I’m glad someone is. The rest of us are fairly traumatized. Especially Max.”

She looked away. Max? Right. He didn’t care. And he didn’t want her anymore.

“I’m sure Max is fine.”

“How could he be? It’s my understanding, his sub is planning to move to Chicago,”

Ryan answered.

Well, so much for her resignation letter. She needn’t have bothered with the last three hours. Her anger got the better of her. She turned back to the two of them with a glare. “Max doesn’t have a sub,” she snapped. She clapped her hand over her neck where her collar should be. “I’m apparently free to do whatever the hell I want.”

“Ana,” Theo started calmly. “I want you to stay and be a project manager. That’s the job you’re taking at Sissek, right? I’ll top what they’re offering you and you know the working conditions here are ideal.”

They would have been before her incredibly short affair with Max—another world record. She shook her head. Theo went on as if she’d had not answered. “We have quite a few new projects coming in and we’re in the position that we’d have to hire another project manager. I’d prefer someone from the inside. Someone I trust.”

“And I want Jessica’s workload halved,” Ryan interjected.

Theo rolled his eyes. “We have a ton of new contracts coming in and he doesn’t want her overburdened. Jess isn’t happy about it, although she’ll do as he says. This morning we were discussing it and your name came up as a possibility.”

97

Brynn Paulin

She frowned, knowing he was talking about the daily Cress meeting of Theo, Max, Ryan and Josh—each reporting on their sector of the business to their father. What a coincidence that her name would suddenly come up, she decided sarcastically. And why had her imminent departure been mentioned. She’d think Max would be eager to get rid of her.

“Just came up, huh?” she said in disbelief.

“Actually, it did. Jess thinks you might be a good addition to that staff. Then Max told us you were leaving. That explained a lot. We were all wondering what the fuck was the matter with him.” Theo picked at a piece of nonexistent lint on his suit coat sleeve. “I don’t know what went down with the two of you—”

“I’d really like to know too,” she retorted.

Theo raised an eyebrow, making it clear she’d crossed the line. Well, whatever. It wasn’t like she was a sub—his or anyone else’s. What did she care? Her days at Cress were limited and her heart was broken. The funny thing was, if Max hadn’t freed her, she would have taken Theo’s offer in a second. She wanted to stay here. The Cresses were her family.

“Max renounced our lifestyle,” Ryan told her. “That’s another reason we’re here.

We don’t think he’ll survive it. I don’t think he’ll survive being apart from you. He looks like shit. I know how I felt for the short time Jessica and I were apart after I’d finally been with her.”

“And I know how I felt when Keera ran away.”

“You’re forgetting. Max chose this. This isn’t like what you went through.”

Theo shook his head. “Max feels the same.”

Her chin quivered as tears filled her eyes. If only they were right. If only Max wanted her the way they wanted their wives. She wanted to believe he did and would have until this morning…

98

Master Me

“He loves you,” Theo grated, his voice rough with urgency. “Hell, we
all
love you.

You’ve practically been part of our family forever. All of us figured that eventually the two of you would end up together. Look. At least think about my offer.”

“Okay,” she replied. It wouldn’t do any good. She couldn’t stay and work in the same place as Max. There was only so much torture a person could take.

Marginally satisfied, both men stood. Theo reached in his pocket and withdrew a folded sheet of paper. “Keera wanted me to give this to you.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know. Some of that mystical stuff she does. She was pretty urgent about it.”

The only mystical thing Keera did was tarot readings. She didn’t do gypsy spells or curses like Ana, not that Ana did them often. As bad as she felt today, she felt a curse coming on. Perhaps something that would keep her from ever falling in love again.

Slowly, she unfolded the paper while the men left her office and found a color photocopy of the Six of Pentacles. Keera had written her a note beside it. “This card keeps coming up in my readings and I know it’s about you. Someone’s offering you knowledge and some sort of gifts, maybe even love. Would you please take what’s being offered, so I can move on?”

Ana stared at the rendering of the card from Keera’s tarot deck. In this version, the beggar knelt before the rich man, receiving charity. A supplicant kneeling before the Master. The paper crumpled in her fingers and she balled it up, tossing it into her recycling basket. The Six of Pentacles wasn’t her card anymore. Max had given her all he had to give. There was no more. Not even love or his need for her submission.

Leaning back in her chair, she winced, the position pulling at the stripes across her ass. She needed to go into the restroom and apply more ointment. She just didn’t have the energy to move. She should just go home and go to bed. Her lonely bed where all she’d think of was Max and what she must have done wrong.

She needed answers. The knot in her middle that had plagued her all day twisted, reminding her of Ryan’s words. Max wasn’t taking this separation well—or maybe he 99

Brynn Paulin

didn’t sleep well. Whichever, she wanted to know what the hell was going through his head. And why would he renounce the lifestyle he enjoyed so much?

Shooting to her feet, she ignored the throb of pain and marched out her door and across the building to Max. He could tell her straight up what he felt, then if a separation was truly what he wanted, she’d never bother him again.

His secretary’s eyes went wide when she saw Ana. A flush tinged her cheeks and her hand shook as she removed her headset.

“Hi, Rebecca,” Ana greeted, feeling a flood of compassion for the woman who’d heard far more than she’d ever wanted yesterday. “I need to talk to Max, if he’s in.”

“I’m just going on break. Go on in. I’m sure he’ll, uh, be glad to see you.”

Watching the woman scurry away, Ana wrapped her arms around her waist and wondered if she shouldn’t be the one scurrying away. With a deep breath, she turned toward the door and let herself inside.

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust as she leaned against the door. Max had pulled all the shades in his normally sun-drenched office and now only the barest hint of light filtered inside. The room was so dark and deathly quiet, she almost thought it was empty until she spotted him slouched to one side in his office chair, staring at her like the Big Bad Wolf must have stared down Red Riding Hood.

Reaching behind her, she stealthily slid the bolt into place. Even if she was scared out of her wits of losing the battle she was about to embark upon, neither of them was leaving until her questions were hammered out.

“What do you want, Ana?” he growled.

She took a shuddering breath. She wouldn’t let him cow her. She loved him and she was pretty darn sure he loved her too, even if he was being an ass right now. Crossing the room, she rounded his desk until she was beside him and dropped to her knees, letting her skirt ride up her parted thighs.

100

Master Me

He didn’t look at her as he scrubbed his hand over his face. “Don’t do that. You’re not my sub anymore.”

She dropped her head forward so he couldn’t see the way his words hurt her—if he ever managed to look over at her. She bit her lip, taking another breath through her nose. “I’ll always be yours, Max. No matter what. Keep me. Send me away. It doesn’t matter.”

He didn’t speak for a moment. His voice sounded odd when he finally did.

“Anastasia, I need you to leave.”

Something was wrong. Why did he sound so—strangled?

Trying not to wince, she stood and looked down at him again. He still stared the other way. His head snapped up as she clicked on his small desk light. She gasped at his agony-ravaged face. Max was in as much pain as she was. Without a word, she stepped between his splayed knees and pulled him to her. He stiffened, resisting her.

“No, Ana,” he whispered.

“I love you, Max.”

A deep groan tore up his body and he crushed his arms around her waist, burying his face in her belly. His shoulders shook as he held her. She blinked back tears, stunned by his deep feelings, emotions that wrung through him and dragged the mighty Dom to his knees.

“Please don’t make me leave,” she begged, stroking her hands through his hair. Her body trembled out of control at the love unfurling inside her, freely shown at last. She’d die if he denied it.

“I failed you,” he whispered. “It’s my duty to protect you and I let harm come to you.”

She shook her head. Held so close in his arms and hearing his rasping voice, she remembered his bellows last night and seeing him struggle against his brothers. If they hadn’t held him, he would have leapt on Tyler and the man wouldn’t have been able to 101

Brynn Paulin

land more than a blow. Besides, it was her choice to submit to the cane and remove Tyler from their lives.

“You’re too hard on yourself,” she said gently. “I chose to do it. I choose to submit to you but I still have free will. What Tyler did…it was never something you wanted.”

He pulled back. “Let me see it.”

Stepping backward, she released her waistband and let her skirt fall. She shivered as it skated down her thighs to her ankles. Naked from the waist down—underwear and hose hadn’t been an option—she kicked off her shoes and stepped free of the clothing. Her chiffon shirttails tickled her tender flesh as she returned to the embrace of his spread legs.

“Turn,” he ordered.

“Yes, Master,” she replied. She couldn’t help her grin at the return of her Dom. She wanted his dominance over her for the rest of their lives. Turning, she lifted her shirt.

“It’s much better,” she commented.

He growled, his disagreement clear. “How badly does it hurt?”