Masquerade (35 page)

“
Holy cow! You made enough
for an army.”

She laughed. “I noticed how that young
man of yours likes to eat.”

Her words caused a stirring
inside of me. Sam was mine just as I was his. “I’m not even
sure
he
can put a
dent in all this food.” I went over to the coffee and poured a mug,
adding sugar and cream. “I’m starving.”

“
Grab a plate!”

I sipped my coffee instead, wanting to
wait for Sam. There was a knock at the back door, and I ran to it,
my face breaking into a wide smile at the thought of him standing
there.

Except it wasn’t Sam.

It was my mother.

My smile vanished.

“
Mother,” I said, stepping
away from the door as she stepped inside.

“
Hello, Heven. Good
morning, Silvia.”

Grandma turned from the sink. “Good
morning, Madeline. I didn’t hear you pull up.”

“
Yes, I’m sorry for
stopping by without calling, but I was just coming from
church.”

“
You’re welcome anytime.
Would you like some breakfast?”

My stomach suddenly lurched at the
idea of food. Surprisingly, it made me angry. Seconds ago I was
happy and felt really good for the first time in a long time, and
she ruined it.

“
No, thank you,” she
replied, looking me over. “You pulled your hair up.”

She disapproved. I realized I didn’t
care. “Yes. I decided that my scars are not something that I need
to be ashamed of. Worse things could happen to me than this,” I
motioned to my face.

“
You accept your
scars?”

“
Yes.” I guess I
did.

This seemed to worry her. “Have you
filled out the registration forms for the camp this
summer?”

I looked to the top of the fridge
where I’d put them, hoping to forget about them. “No.”

“
Fill them out now. I’ll
mail them tomorrow.”

“
No.”

“
No?”

“
I’m not going to that
camp.”

“
Yes, you are.”

“
No, Mom, I’m not. I won’t
let you punish me for something that wasn’t my fault. I am not
evil. I am the same girl I’ve always been.” I hadn’t really
believed that myself until I said the words just now.

“
That’s the evil inside
you, influencing you. You must turn away from the bad,
Heven.”

“
That’s quite enough,”
Grandma said, coming to stand beside me.

“
You agree with her?” Mom
seemed surprised.

“
Do you think my son would
approve of the way you are treating his daughter?”

Mom paled. “Jason isn’t here for me to
ask, so I must do what I think is best for our
daughter.”

I wished my father
was
here. Things would
be very different. Mom would be different. Grandma stepped toward
my mother and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I know. You have done
a wonderful job with Heven these last years. Jason would be proud.
But this, this…”

“
Is my decision to make.
Fill out the papers, Heven. I will be by tomorrow after work to get
them, and you.”

“
What do you mean?” My
heart began hammering in my chest. I couldn’t go back home. I
wouldn’t be able to see Sam.

“
She’s welcome to stay
here,” Grandma said, alarmed.

“
I won’t have my daughter
staying with someone who doesn’t have her best interest at
heart.”

“
She’s been such a great
help here. The barn and land can be a lot to take care of…” Grandma
said, wringing her hands. I knew she was searching for a way to
keep me there, and I loved her for it.

“
She can come out on the
weekends after church to help you out.”

I saw the defeat on Grandma’s face. I
couldn’t stay here unless Mom allowed it.

“
I’ll fill out the papers.”
I said, low.

Both women looked at me, surprised.
“What did you say?” Mom asked.

“
If you let me stay here,
with Grandma, I’ll fill out the papers for camp right now. You can
take them with you.”

“
You like it here that much
better?” She seemed hurt by this.

“
I’ll start going back to
church too,” I added, hoping to sway her.

“
How are your
grades?”

“
Really good.”

“
Oh yes, she studies every
night,” Grandma agreed. Minutes ticked by, minutes of Mom studying
me, judging me. Suddenly I wished I had left my hair
down.

“
Fine,” Mom relented. “Get
the papers.”

I hurried to fill out the papers and
shove them into the envelope, not wanting her to have enough time
to change her mind. When they were finished I handed them to her
and turned away.

“
I’ll see you tomorrow
night at Bible study?”

Inside I cringed. “Yes.”

“
All right then.” I heard
her hesitation, and I stared at the wall just praying that she
would go. “Bye, Heven.”

I didn’t trust my voice, so I nodded.
I barely heard her saying goodbye to my grandma and the sound of
her car pulling away from the house. I felt as if I’d just signed
my life away, and all I could hear was the ticking of the clock. It
was ruthlessly counting down the minutes until I had to show up at
church tomorrow.

Grandma hugged me from behind. “It’s
going to be fine.”

Her hug reminded me that what I did
was necessary. If I hadn’t signed those papers and agreed to
church, then I wouldn’t be here. I would be a prisoner with Mom
acting as my jailer, and there was absolutely no way I would get to
see Sam. Yes, my sacrifices were nothing compared to living without
Sam. There was just one thought that made my insides shake: if I
was the evil one, why did it suddenly feel like I’d just made a
deal with the devil?

Chapter
Eighteen

Heven

“
I need to tell you
something.”

I knew by the tone of his voice and
the look on his face that it wasn’t good. After my mother left, I’d
come outside to sit on the porch steps to wait for Sam. I knew I
made the right decision by signing those papers and promising to go
back to church, but I still doubted myself. I knew that once I saw
Sam my insecurities would go away.

When his truck came up the long dirt
drive my heart fluttered in anticipation. But hearing his words now
did not erase any of the tension coiled inside me. “Okay.” I
clasped my hands in my lap and waited for more bad news.

The screen door squeaked open and Gran
poked her head out. “Breakfast is getting cold.”

“
Thank you for having me,”
Sam said politely.

“
My pleasure, Sam. Come on
in.”

I stood to follow Grandma, but felt
Sam grasp me from behind. “Hey.”

I looked over my shoulder.

“
Don’t look so sad, honey.”
He pulled me close. “It’s not terrible. We’ll talk after we
eat.”

I nodded.

“
Where’s the smile I saw
this morning?” He tickled my ribs.

I squirmed, a giggle escaping. He
pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Everything is going to be
fine.”

The way he said it, I wondered who he
was trying to convince.

“
You think this isn’t
terrible?” I asked, my stomach turning.

“
I know it
isn’t.”

“
You just told me that
China is back.” From wherever it was that she went.

He nodded.

“
The woman who attacked
me–” I reached up to my unsightly scars and continued, “–has been
stalking me, has threatened you, and wants me dead?”

He sighed.

“
This is
terrible.”

He grabbed my shoulders and leaned
down to look directly into my eyes. “Listen to me, do not freak
out. I just wanted you to know so that you would be more
careful.”

Oh, that made me feel better. Now I
could add worrying about him getting killed to my list.

“
Breathe, honey,” he
reminded me. “In. Out. In. Out.”

My lungs obeyed.

“
That’s my
girl.”

We sat there a long time, in the
middle of my grandma’s orchard, beneath the newly budding fruit
trees. I felt grateful that Sam had suggested we walk after
breakfast, because this news, coupled with my morning adventures
with Mom, did not put me in the frame of mind to hide my anxiety
from Grandma.

“
What else happened this
morning?”

“
What?”

“
Heven, I know something
happened. When I left you this morning everything was good. The
next time I saw you there was pain in your eyes. What
happened?”

I felt so safe with him that the words
tumbled from my lips without thought. “My mother.”

He stilled. Even his heartbeat slowed.
“She came to see you?”

“
Yeah. She threatened to
make me move back home.”

He sucked in a breath.

“
But I filled out the
papers for that camp and promised to go back to church.”

“
Why would you do
that?”

“
Because if I had to move
back home, she wouldn’t let me see you. She wouldn’t let me do
anything.”

“
I’m sorry you had to go
through that.”

“
I think I hurt her
feelings.” I regretted that much more than I’d realized.

“
Your mother’s?”

“
Yeah. She was shocked that
I wanted to stay here so much.”

He grunted.

“
For a long time now it’s
been just me and her. I thought that wouldn’t change, you know? But
now it’s like we are two completely different people, and she
doesn’t understand me at all.”

“
I understand.” I heard the
emotion behind his words. He did know. More than anyone ever
could.

“
I’m sorry,” I murmured,
wrapping my arms around his back and pressing in closer.

“
Aren’t we a pair?” he
wondered, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. Then, “You always
smell so good.”

I wondered how I would live if he ever
got taken away from me.

Too soon we had to leave
the orchard. Sam had to work. I was sitting at the table with my
second steaming cup of coffee at my elbow. I had a feeling I was
going to need the caffeine today. Sam entered wearing a pair of
clean khakis and a polo shirt embroidered with the
Planet Fitness
logo. The
shirt was tucked in neatly, and he was wearing a brown leather
belt. I smiled at his cuteness.

“
Well, Sam, don’t you look
ready for a day at work,” Grandma said, looking up from her
crossword.

“
Thank you for letting me
change here,” he mumbled, looking a little embarrassed. I wanted to
jump up and kiss him. I settled for a grin instead.

“
What time does your shift
end?” Grandma enquired without looking up.

“
Uh, six,
ma’am.”

“
Just in time! I just put a
roast in the oven. It should be ready right around that time. Why
don’t you come back and join us for supper?”

My heart soared. Now I wouldn’t have
to make an excuse to hang out in my room or the barn all evening so
I could be with him. I tried to control my smiling. It was no
use.

“
Thank you,” He accepted
graciously.

On his way toward the door he paused
and turned back. “Ma’am? Would it be all right if I took the want
ads from the paper with me? I could take yesterdays or last week’s
if you still have them,” he rushed to add.

Grandma shuffled this morning’s paper
around and pulled out a thin section. “Searching for another job?”
she asked, handing them over.

“
He already has two,” I
blurted out. He couldn’t possibly have time for a third job,
school, and me.

He grinned, his eyes sliding over to
me. “I live with a few roommates right now that I don’t really get
along with too well. I was hoping to find a smaller apartment or an
efficiency that I could rent on my own.”

Excitement whirled through me. If he
moved, there would be somewhere we could go to be alone! I would
know where he lived and might actually be allowed to visit
him!

“
Good luck with your
search,” Grandma told him, returning to her crossword. “We’ll see
you at dinner.”

“
Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” I
followed him out to the back porch, closing the door behind us. I
whirled around to see him smiling at me. I launched myself at him,
laughing.

“
Really? You’re
moving?”

“
Yes.” He kissed the tip of
my nose.

“
Will I be allowed to
visit?” I batted my eye lashes at him.