Marrying The Boss (28 page)

The sunlight of early morning teased Kate
awake long before she was ready to surrender sleep. She rolled over
and opened her eyes.

Spencer was beside her, his eyes dark and
smoky as he raised himself up onto one elbow to gaze down at her.
Kate looked up into his face and felt her heart contract with
necessary regret.

They had an agreement to work out. A small
boy to save from being used as a pawn. There wouldn't be any words
of declaration, of undying love. It's simply been a moment out of
time. Two lonely souls looking and finding some shared
comfort.

She told herself she must be content with
that. But the idea that she could never tell this man the truth
about how much she loved him made her want to cry. She locked the
words in her throat, aware of the challenges he still faced in
keeping custody of his son and she wasn't willing to add to them,
or to trust her foolish heart to know what was best for
them.

"
Good morning," she said cautiously, moving
away from the long tempting length of his thigh sliding erotically
against hers.

"
Morning." Spencer's expression
darkened.

Kate studied him. "Would you care to share
what you're thinking?"

"
No. Not right now." Spencer reached to
lift a stray curl of hair from her cheek, tucking it behind her
ear. "Maybe later."

How much
later
? Kate
wondered. He was still holding something back from her. Some
confession he still couldn't voice. But she couldn't force him to
speak, tell her things she knew in her heart she may not be able to
handle or accept. She trusted him enough to know he wouldn't
deliberately hurt her.

"
Tell me," he commanded roughly, capturing
her averted chin and bringing her troubled gaze back to his. "Tell
me what you're thinking. Tell me you don't want this and it ends
right here, right now."

Words of denial hovered on her tongue, but
when she opened her mouth they wouldn't simply come. If nothing
else she owed him her complete honesty. He'd been nothing else but
honest with her, his offer of marriage had been without strings.
She couldn't lie and tell him the most incredible, beautiful night
of her entire life had meant nothing to her. If she pushed him away
now there would still be the unanswered question of marriage
hovering between them. They both knew she had reacted too hastily
last night, denying his proposal. She could accept what he was
offering and make it work for her. Give herself the gift of a
family with a man who understood her reservations and was prepared
to wait, to work through her issues with her and not judge her for
her reluctance.

She stared into his dark blue eyes,
watching her with an undisguised drive to gain her agreement. She
needed him in the same way she needed to breathe—but what was he
offering and did she have the courage to accept? He was waiting for
her answer.

In that moment she felt too exposed and
vulnerable. With his warm, hard body lying so close—so
tempting—next to hers, she was in no shape to think rationally or
plan a future that was so immediate.

She looked away. "I'm starving. How about
I go and put the kettle on?" She was about to toss back the covers
when she remembered her state of complete nakedness. Her clothes
weren't in sight. She sank back onto the pillows, feeling a warm
flush invade her cheeks.

"
Here, use this." Spencer sat up to reach
to the ornate wooden box at the end of the bed and handed her a
navy toweling robe, his expression wickedly teasing. "Unless you
lost all your inhibitions last night."

"
Not quite all of them." Kate sat up to
slip her arms into the sleeves. They hung down past her hands and
her slim body felt swamped in the yards of cloth.

"
Sorry about the fit, but I don't remember
it ever being that sexy on me." Spencer inhaled sharply, leaving
the bed in one smooth movement. He turned back. "Do you want to use
the shower first?"

"
No, thanks. You go first." Kate closed her
eyes as he moved past her, heading for the shower. The sight of all
that glorious naked male flesh at this hour of the morning was
simply too much for her senses. If she gave in to such wanton
temptation, she would follow him and they would be here all day. If
Spencer wanted to repeat the events of last night. He'd given no
indication that he did.

Kate breathed deeply through her growing
sense of disappointment. She felt tears prick at the backs of her
eyes and she blinked them aside. She'd practically seduced the man
last night. Thrown herself at him shamelessly.

But last night she'd become a woman she
didn't recognize. With Eric she had always been forced to measure
her responses, gauge his uncertain mood and make adjustments. She
quickly learned exactly what to do and how to please him. But their
lovemaking had always left her feeling unfulfilled and
empty.

Last night, with Spencer, pure instinct
had been her only guide. Perhaps, in her need to please him, had
she caused some kind of offence? Eric had never failed to vocalize
his disappointment if she did anything he didn't like.

"
I wish I knew what to do." The heat in her
cheeks deepened as she padded through to the kitchen on bare
feet.

She mentally reviewed her behavior as she
made the coffee and came no closer to any satisfactory answer. But
she wasn't about to ask. She never expected the morning after
feeling to be so awful.

"
Shower's all yours." Spencer appeared ten
minutes later, his gaze searching hers with slow
intensity.

Kate swallowed. Suddenly
she
didn't
want to hear his confession. To listen to the words of how much
she'd disappointed him.

"
Thanks for the shower. Can what you have
to say wait until later? The coffee's hot." She ducked away from
his frustrated gaze before he could start asking
questions.

She was fresh out of answers.

After showering she dressed in
record time. Bracing her shoulders she returned to the kitchen. But
just as she re-entered the room, holding herself together to
encounter
Spencer's strange mood, the telephone rang.

Kate knew a large amount of relief as he
reached to answer it. "Dr. Stelanos." He listened intently for a
moment. "Fine. Give me ten minutes, I'll be there."

He hung up and turned to Kate. "That was
the police. Spencer Person's been found dead at his home. I have to
go."

She felt as if, in some way, she had
failed Spencer. Kate blew a thoughtful sigh. She wanted to run
away. Go over the events of last night in private and try to
discover the depth of her mistake. But instead she replied, "I'll
come with you. Who found him?"

"
A neighbor. The police think he died some
time last night. I have to go and certify the death."

His eyes flicked over her face. "Spencer
lived his life by his own rules. He wouldn't want anyone to feel
sorry for him."

"
I know." Kate lifted her shoulders in
defeat.

It wasn't Spencer she was feeling sorry
for. He'd finally been released from all pain. Today she felt more
sorry for herself that thought possible. She pulled herself back
from the stew of self-pity.

Spencer jerked his head towards the door.
"Come on, we'll have to skip breakfast. Maybe we can get something
on the way to work."

They got into his vehicle and drove to
Spencer's house in silence. Spencer looked across at Kate several
times, as if trying to find the right words. He finally spoke as
they turned into the driveway on Peake Road. "This won't be
easy."

"
I know." Kate unfastened her seatbelt.
"Don't worry, I'll be all right."

And she knew she would be. For the first
time, in a very long while. After this morning they would talk.

The police were waiting for them when they
got to the house. The old man's body was slumped in his chair in
the sitting room. All the windows had been opened, but the air in
the room was still close.

While Kate spoke to the constable in
charge, Spencer sank to his haunches beside the body. In Spencer's
hands was a framed picture of a pretty, dark haired young woman.
The colors were faded as if it had been taken more than fifty years
ago.

"
This was his wife, Fiona," Spencer said,
as Kate approached to kneel down beside him. "Perhaps he felt
unwell and decided to sit down."

Spencer
looked peaceful, as if he had just
fallen asleep. There was an untouched cup of tea on the small table
beside the old man's chair.

"
Looks like he went without a fight." The
young constable who had been left in charge of the scene stood to
one side. "Just sat down and closed his eyes."

"
We can only hope it was quick," Spencer said
quietly.

He checked for a pulse before opening his
bag and pulling on a pair of gloves. He drew out his stethoscope to
listen for any sign of a heartbeat and then shining a torch into
Spencer's unsighted pupils to see if they were fixed and
dilated.

"
I'm sorry he had to die alone." Kate
sighed, thinking of Wirimu Rangi surrounded by all his loving
family. "I know he was afraid of that. I hope he and Fiona find
each other."

"
Spencer wouldn't want anyone to mourn for
him."

Kate nodded. "But, it doesn't make it any less
tragic."

Spencer straightened. "He never wanted
anyone's help. He was a fiercely independent old man. He's at peace
now. We can't do any more here."

"
The coroner's car is here, Doc. Okay to
move him now?" the young constable asked.

"
Yes." Spencer nodded. "I know he didn't
have any family. But, is there anyone we can notify?"

"
Not that we know of." The constable
frowned. "I can ask around his friends at the RSA."

"
Please. Someone needs to take care of the
funeral arrangements."

"
He's where he wanted to be," the young man
replied on a shrug. "Whatever we do with him now, I guess old
Spencer isn't going to care anymore."

Spencer was forced to leave it there.

"
I feel I could have done more when I saw
him," Kate said later in the car, after helping Spencer complete
the necessary paperwork.

Spencer slanted her a sympathetic glance.
"Spencer wouldn't want you worrying about him. His independence was
very important to him. He lived his life on his own
terms."

Kate shook her head. "But it seems such a lonely
end."

"
Yes, but now he's no longer alone. He's
back together with Fiona."

"
I hope that's true. Do you think they will
meet again, somewhere out there?" She waved her hand at the sunlit
morning beyond the windscreen.

"
We all hope that those we love will come
to us again," Spencer said in a slow, meditative tone.

Kate wondered who he was thinking of then.
If they parted now, after one night and no promise of tomorrow,
would they meet again somewhere? The idea gave her no
satisfaction.

She sent up a silent prayer that he was
right in Spencer's case. That, out there in the world beyond, two
halves of one soul were being reunited. It gave her a tiny measure
of comfort.

She looked across at Spencer. "I want to
go back to the cottage."

"
Fine, I'll take you." Spencer put the car
in motion. "You'll need to get changed. We must talk tonight. We
have to sort out what we're going to do."

His face was closed and set. It gave nothing
away of what he was thinking or feeling. Kate gave up trying to
understand this strange new mood. Did he still want to marry her
after last night?

"
Thanks." She leaned against her door.

Her mind refused to function, her head
aching from too much thinking. Sitting miserably beside the man she
loved with all her heart, she'd never felt more alone in her whole
life.

Marriage to the man now seemed as
unobtainable as the moon.

Spencer's
four wheel drive was in its
allotted space when Kate arrived at the practice later that
morning. She expected to feel awkward after their night of shared
passion, but not this deep pit of confusion and
heartache.

She'd
asked for what happened between them.
Begged for Spencer to take what she was offering. She'd been intent
on erasing Eric's memory from her mind and flesh, but she hadn't
expected to lose all her inhibitions.

"
You look awful." Edith greeted her with
concern. "Is it your hand?"

"
No, my hand is fine." Kate had decided to
remove the bandage and snip the sutures out herself. The wound had
healed cleanly with no evidence of infection. It was only the rest
of her weary body that felt awful.