Marrying Kate (5 page)

Jared could almost imagine what had happened. They’d stayed in bed to cuddle and had ended up running late. Jen had left the bedroom in uncharacteristic messiness, never to return to clean it up.

He sensed Kate as she walked into the room behind him.
“Why did you just close up this room?”

“
I didn’t know what to do with their things. I came in here once to try and pack stuff away, but I felt as if I had no right. Like I was a stranger pawing through their things.” Kate walked to the dresser and ran her fingers over it leaving trails of shining wood through the dust. “I didn’t need the room so I just decided to leave it for now.”

“
Of course you have a right to be here, Kate. You’re Jen’s sister.” Jared watched as she walked around the room, lightly touching things. The lamp, the desk, the bed.

“
I may have been related by blood, but we were never close like sisters should be. I didn’t think she’d want me here, in her house, in her room, with her children.”

“
Why would you say that?” Jared asked, shocked at what she was revealing. “She never felt that way about you.”

“
So why were you named guardian? Why not me? Or if not just me, why not both of us?”

Jared heard the wealth of hurt in her words and longed to ease her pain.
“When we discussed the guardianship, Steve and Jen never thought anything would happen to them until they were old and gray. When they named me, we all hoped I’d never really have to take on the role. But if the worst had happened, they figured you were so focused on your career that having to take the responsibility of four children would be too much. That it would be a burden you wouldn’t want.”

“
Why does everyone think that?” Kate looked at him then, pain blazing from her eyes. “Why does everyone assume that I have no interest in a family or children? Do I come across as an unfeeling lump of clay?

“
You know something, Jared, all I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother. I knew I had tons of love to give a man and our children, if I could just find the right man. The only problem was, I was smart. Whenever I talked to my dad about not furthering my education, he would give me a lecture on how a mind was a terrible thing to waste. I owed it to humanity to use my intelligence for something more than having babies.

“
I watched others have it all, marriage and a career, but I just couldn’t imagine being able to give my best to both. My dad was so determined that I would do better helping to find a cure for cancer or some other disease than to have a family. He was always an all or nothing sort of person where I was concerned. Either I gave my all to my studies and my career or have a family but he loaded enough guilt on me to make sure I didn’t choose to abandon my career in favor of a family. My mom died of cancer. I think he felt I would do more good trying to find a cure for that.

“
I watched my dream being lived by Jen. She had everything I’d ever wanted. All I had was my career. I didn’t have anything else. I wasn’t allowed my dreams or my emotions. No, I had to follow the path dictated by my intelligence.” Kate picked up Jen’s nightgown. It slithered through her fingers back onto the bed. “I had nothing else. Until now. I have children in my life. They aren’t of my body, but I couldn’t love them more if they were. Please don’t ask me to give them up, Jared.” She looked at him then, tears shimmering in her eyes. “I know I’m so far from the woman you want as a wife that I might as well be from another planet, but I don’t think any other woman could love those children as much as I do. Give me a chance. Please.”

“
Kate, let’s go downstairs and talk about this.” Jared moved to her side and took her arm. He couldn’t miss her wince as his hand gripped her. “What’s wrong?”

“
Nothing,” Kate said with a shake of her head.

“
Something’s wrong.” Jared released her arm and slid the sleeve of her sweater up. It was so loose on her it slid without hindrance right to her shoulder. He saw the marks then, clear finger marks on her upper arm.

“
I did this.” Jared bit back a curse. It was a habit he had changed since becoming a Christian but when he saw the damage he’d done to Kate’s frail arm, it flooded back. “I’m so sorry, Kate. You should have told me.”

“
It’s okay.” She stepped away from him and slid the sleeve back down to her wrist. “I just bruise easy, that’s all.”

Jared wanted to argue but Kate was already on her way out the door. He followed her, shutting off the light and then closing the door behind him. All the way down the stairs he prayed for wisdom in how to handle things.

Jared found her in the family room staring at the flames flickering in the natural gas fireplace. She had composed herself and no trace of her earlier emotion showed on her face.

“
Okay, Kate, let’s talk about what we’re going to do. I think we need to set a wedding date.”
 

Chapter Three

Kate’s heart leaped into her throat.
“A wedding date?”

Jared sat down in the chair across from her.
“I think we both know that a marriage between us is the best thing all around. I’m sorry I didn’t think of it first but I was laboring under a misconception.”

“
A misconception?” Kate knew she must sound like a parrot, echoing everything Jared said but she was too stunned to come up with an original thought of her own. She had been so sure after her outburst that Jared would definitely be looking elsewhere for a wife.

Jared nodded.
“I, along with several others, thought that your career was the most important thing in your life. We didn’t realize that it was the most important thing only because you didn’t have anything else. I’m sorry for that. I’m afraid we’ve wronged you with our assumptions.”

Surprised speechless, Kate sat staring at Jared. That he should understand what she felt was a total shock to her. No one had ever taken the time to even try.

“
So do you agree that we should marry or do I need to go into all the reasons why this is the best thing?” Jared asked, leaning back in his chair.

Kate shook her head.
“I agree. For the sake of the children.” Oh, it was for her sake, too, but she’d never in a million years admit to Jared that her love for him also played a part in her decision.

Kate didn’t know when she’d fallen in love with Jared. It had been a gradual thing.
As she’d spent time with him and Jen’s family she’d come to admire him more and more. He’d adored the children and, like his brother, treated Jen like a queen and had even treated her better than most men she’d come in contact with in her career. Of course his not being a Christian had always seemed to be a stumbling block, but now even that was gone and the love that she’d held tight all these years was beginning to flow freely in her heart.

“
Okay, that’s settled. Now on to the details. After you...left the office this afternoon, Marcus and I talked a bit more and he suggested getting married as soon as possible. With the hearing on Monday, I’m thinking maybe Saturday would be the best day.”

“
But that’s only four days away.”

“
I know but we really don’t have any choice. And besides, is waiting going to make any difference? Are you going to decide not to marry me if you happen to discover I leave wet towels on the bathroom floor?”

Heat rose in Kate’s cheeks.
“No, of course not.”

“
Good, because it’s a habit I’m still trying to break,” Jared said with a grin.

A sudden warmth
swept through Kate’s whole body and panic fluttered to life in her stomach. What exactly did he expect of their marriage? He’d said he didn’t want to be getting a divorce in a year or two, that he only planned to marry once. Did that mean they’d pursue a more intimate relationship as well? Kate’s mind couldn’t even grasp that thought so she pushed it away.

“
I guess we need to iron out a couple of things.” Jared leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “First of all, I feel it’s important that we not lie to the judge. I’m not going to pretend that this marriage is something it’s not.”

He was talking about love, Kate realized. He didn’t want them lying and saying they had fallen in love with each other. Only for her, it wouldn’t have been a lie. But in spite of that, Kate nodded her agreement. She didn’t want him to lie about what he felt for her. It would only cloud things in her mind and probably lead to more hurt in the end.

“
I want to be honest with him and let him know that this marriage is based on a mutual love for the children and a desire to see them raised in a loving, respectful environment. And a Christian one. I think it’s what Jen and Steve would have wanted. I also want him to know that we are in this marriage for the long-haul. It’s not a temporary solution until we can adopt them and then we’ll get a divorce. You understand that too, right, Kate? This is it for us.”

“
I understand, and I agree. Stability is important to the kids especially now that they’ve lost their parents.”

Jared looked down at his hands, lacing his fingers together.
“I guess we should discuss our relationship too just so we both know where the other stands. I am hoping that we can eventually develop an affection for each other that will lead to a...closer physical relationship. I’m not asking for that right away. I realize we’re virtually strangers to each other, but hopefully once we get to know each other a little better we can take our relationship to the next level.” Jared looked at her then, his blue eyes serious. “I’m leaving it up to you, Kate. It’s your call. When you feel ready. When you feel comfortable, you let me know and we’ll take that next step together.”

Kate’s cheeks were hot
, and she had to look away from Jared for a moment. To even be talking with him about this was beyond her wildest imaginings. Jared was still looking at her expectantly so she nodded. “Okay.”

“
We’ll clean out the master suite and you can move in there. I’ll take the guest room,” Jared said.

Kate shook her head.
“No, you go ahead and take the suite. I’m fine in the room I’m in already.”

Jared looked like he was going to argue with her but finally nodded.
“Okay, if that’s what you want.”

“
It is.” Kate stood. “I think I’m going to head for bed. This day has been a bit tiring.”

Jared got up as well and came to stand next to her. He reached out and took her hands, his large warm ones engulfing them. Kate looked up at him, standing closer than she ever had to this man who held her heart and didn’t even know it.

“
Knowing what I do now, I’m sure this isn’t the wedding or marriage you dreamed of, but I’ll try my best to make you happy. It won’t always be easy but be patient with me. I’ve never been a husband before.”

“
I’ve never been a wife before. I can’t even cook,” Kate said with a sad shake of her head.

“
I know,” Jared said, grinning teasingly at her. Kate’s heart skipped more than one beat. “Don’t worry about the cooking. We’ll muddle through. All I ask is that you are honest with me, as I will be with you. We need to keep the lines of communication open. Promise me that.”

“
I promise.” Her words were barely a whisper.

Jared lifted her left hand and kissed the back of it.
“We’ll get you a ring tomorrow.”

Kate could only nod, her thoughts dwelling on the feel of his lips on the back of her hand. She had barely gathered her wits about her when they scattered once again as his lips pressed gently, fleetingly, against hers.
“Good night, Kate.”

Afraid she was about to make a fool of herself by throwing herself into his arms, Kate murmured a good night of her own and fled to the sanctuary of her room.

*****

The next three days passed in a blur for Kate. The kids had been ecstatic when they realized that their aunt and uncle were getting married. They had jumped right into the planning
, and the excitement escalated by the hour.

After talking with the pastor of the church Kate attended, he agreed to marry them in a small ceremony. They scheduled it for ten o’clock Saturday morning.

Kate couldn’t believe her eyes when she opened them to sunshine the morning of her wedding. They had been forecasting rain
, but instead the sun shone with not a cloud in the sky. Kate pressed her face to the window feeling as if God’s blessing to them came on the rays of the sun. Surely this was His will. She had felt peace after praying about it over the past few days. That peace didn’t dispel all her nerves though.

Hating to leave the warmth of the sun’s rays, Kate reluctantly headed for the bathroom. She needed to be getting ready. The wedding was to start in less than two hours.

Kate still had forty-five minutes to spare by the time she’d finished. She hoped her makeup looked okay. Over the years she hadn’t had a lot of experience in applying makeup. At least it didn’t look like it she had applied it with a spatula. The night before she’d washed her hair then put gel on it before
working it into several long thick braids. This morning she’d used the blow dryer to remove the last of the moisture before unbraiding it. Her usually straight, fine hair sported silky waves that lay over her shoulders and down her back.