Married to the Bad Boy (13 page)

“We need to unpack first or we will never do it.” He laughed and walked back over to his bag and started taking more clothes out.

He had already thrown my bag on the bed next to him, so I walked to it and unzipped it and what I saw inside was nothing I would ever wear. I didn’t pay any attention to Brandon as I pulled out a black lace lingerie nightgown. “What on earth was your mom thinking when she packed this?” I blurted out.

That got his eye and he looked at the thing I was holding up. “Maybe it was her way of saying she wants grandchildren.” He laughed, taking it out of my hand and putting it against my clothed body. “Hmmm.” He leaned his head to the side, probably trying to picture it on me. “I don’t know. Maybe you can wear it tonight and we’ll see what happens.” I didn’t have time to reply when my stomach growled and it made him laugh. “Ok, I hear you. I guess this unpacking will have to wait. Let’s go eat.”

A few hours after eating, looking around the hotel grounds and walking down the beach, the sun had gone down and we were in the elevator going back to our room. Out of the blue Brandon pushed me against the wall and started kissing me fast and hard. I didn’t even have time to think about why he was doing this. He wrapped his arms around my legs and lifted me off the ground, making me wrap my legs around him.

I kissed him back, just letting him have me at the moment. I knew he had been feeling the sexual tension in the air for a while, just like I did.  I felt his hand grab my bottom, pulling me closer to him, where I could feel just how turned on he was. God knew at that moment I wanted him. I would let him take me this very moment and not care if someone was watching us.

Then he pulled out of the kiss and leaned his head on my neck, pushing me closer to the wall, which inadvertently made him push harder into my core area. I let out a moan. “Kami, don’t do that,” he said with difficulty. “It’s hard enough that I have to keep my hands to myself and I can’t have you the way I want.”

“Sorry, but I can’t stop it. You’re doing something to me that I’ve never felt before,” I admitted without looking in his eyes, laying my head on his shoulder instead. “There’s this part of me when we’re kissing that just wants to let go and let you have me. Each time we’re like this, it becomes stronger and stronger. I don’t know what to do about it and it scares me.”

With that, he pulled away and looked at me. “Then don’t think about it. If we get to that point, then just let it happen.” He captured my lips in a gentle kiss and put me back down on my feet about the time the doors opened to our floor. I was thankful no one had come in when we were lip locking.

When we got to the room, Brandon opened the door for me and I walked in. Brandon pulled me back to him once the door was closed behind us. “Where are you going?” he asked and suddenly started to kiss my neck.

“I was going to unpack and find something to wear to bed,” I answered, feeling my body getting heated up from his hands that were roaming around my stomach area and I felt his hand slightly land on my lower half.

He turned me around at that moment to face him. “How about we get you out of these shorts and top and you let me give you a massage first.”

“I don’t know, Brandon. I mean, I’ve never been naked in front of you before,” I timidly replied, wrapping my arms around his neck and trying to stand up on my toes so I could give him a kiss. But he moved his head away.

“Oh, I’ve seen you naked, but you just don’t remember.” He laughed and walked us to the bed. He let go of me and removed our bags and placed them on the floor. After that, he turned back to me and gave me his little smirk. “Now, let’s remove this shirt so it doesn’t get in the way. But don’t worry, you can keep the bra on.”

I could feel his hands playing with the hem of the shirt, but he kept his eyes on me to see what I would do next. I took a deep breath and lifted my arms so he could remove it. I wanted to cover myself up, but Brandon grabbed my wrists. “You really do have a wonderful body, especially now that you’re not covered in bruises.”

He leaned down and kissed me along my neck and that alone was enough for my frazzled nerves to calm down. I felt his hands on the button of my jeans and soon after those were coming down. He kissed my chest and along my bra line.

Once my jeans were a puddle on the floor, he straightened up and looked me over once more. “Yes, very wonderful,” he murmured, unconsciously licking his lips. He walked around me till my back was to his chest and he blew in my ear, making my knees buckle a little. “Lay down on your stomach so I can give you that massage now. But first, I need some oil. I think there’s some in the bathroom.” Then he left to retrieve the oil.

What was I doing? I tried to shake the feeling off once again and resolved to do what he asked. I knew I could trust him not to hurt me, but I was scared to know what his plan was with this massage. I lay there with my head in my hands, lying on the pillow, trying not to think of negative thoughts, when I felt his hand rub my lower legs. I closed my eyes and just let him work, whatever magic it was he had in his hands. It didn’t take long for him to work next on my thighs. Then he sat down next to me and started to rub my upper back. First, he was gentle, but soon got a little rough with it, but I could feel knots I didn’t know I had dissolved, putting me in a more relaxed state. With that, he moved to the middle and before long was rubbing my lower back.

As he rubbed my lower back, I could feel him rub against my bottom every now and then. I moved just a little and I felt parts of my back pop, causing me to moan. Without thinking, Brandon started to move his hands against my bottom. I felt his light touch on it as he moved from one cheek to the other. You’d think I was nervous with the fact I was wearing a thong and with him having the perfect view of it, but I wasn’t.

I had gotten so turned on with having his hands on my body and I was in a state of bliss. I wanted him to keep touching me. I wanted him to take me, make me his. I wanted to feel him become a part of me, making us one. Do what real married people do, give this marriage a chance. I was sick of being scared of ‘what if.’ I’ll just handle it when the time comes to cross that bridge.

“Kami, are you ok?” Brandon’s voice broke through my thoughts. It puts a smile on my face. “I think it’s best that I stop now, or I won’t be able to stop doing what I really want to do.”

Then I felt the bed pop up and I looked up at him. He was standing there next to the bed looking down at me. He was wearing a facial expression I couldn’t read and I couldn’t fathom what he was thinking. I wasn’t sure if it was because it was dark in the room with just the light from the moon coming in through the window or from the relaxed state, he put me in. But I threw myself at him.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I tried to show him all the feelings I had for him in that kiss. He responded immediately by wrapping his arms around my waist and pushing me down on the bed leaning over me. He broke out of the kiss and kissed along my collarbone and then looked up at me. There was that strange emotion flashing in his eyes once again.

“Kami, I have to tell you something I’ve been keeping from you.”

The way he said that, I felt my heart rate increase, thinking that it was going to be something bad. “What?”

He sighed and leaned his head on my chest and I could feel him take a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t really know how to tell you this. Given I’ve never felt this before, so I’m scared to let it out, but I’m tired of holding it in.” He moved so he was looking right down at me. “I’m in love with you.”

I looked at him in a state of shock, unsure what I was supposed to say. My heart was swimming in a heat of emotions with his words, while my mind screamed in panic. Tears started welling up in my eyes as I looked into his. I wanted to say the words back, but with my mind going in so many directions, I was unable to do so.   

He dropped his weight on me a little and whispered, “Kami, don’t force yourself to say it. I don’t want you to think that just because I said it, you need to feel the need to say it back. When you’re ready, you’ll be able to say it back.” Then he stood up and walked out onto the patio.

I sat up on my elbow and looked at the open door, wondering if confessing his feelings for me was too much for him to handle. Knowing I couldn’t just lay here while he wallowed in grief, I got up and walked to the door to see him standing by the railing looking out to the black ocean as it glimmered from the full moon above it. As I stepped closer to him, I saw that he was gripping onto the railing as if he was trying to control his own emotions. When I was behind him, I didn’t speak, but wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head against his back. It was like my touch had broken through him and I felt him loosen up and he placed one of his hands against mine that was lying against his toned stomach.   

“I’m sorry, Kami,” he said, breaking the silence. I could hear the agony in his voice as he spoke, now more sure than ever that this had become too much for him to handle.  

I let go and walked around, pulling him away from the railing. When he looked at me, I saw the same broken boy from the night before, the one who wanted to feel loved and cared for, as he was showing me.  Seeing him at his breaking point, I knew it was time to let down my guard and allow myself to acknowledge my feelings and not to be scared of them. “Brandon, there’s no reason to be sorry. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

He sighed, touching his forehead against mine and closing his eyes. “Kami, I feel like I’m forcing you to do things you’re not ready for. I don’t want you to think that I just want sex from you. The truth is, you have this spell over me. Hell, you have since we were kids. I didn’t really think too much of it till these past few weeks, but I understand it now. If we continue what we started in there, it’s going to make it that much harder to let you go after graduation.”

 I was closely listening to him and there was that part that didn’t escape my notice. “What do you mean ‘since we were kids’?” I thought back to my younger years and how we were never really friends even though we had the same classes. I did try to become friends with him, but he only pushed me away, like I had done to all of my friends after the abuse began.

He turned his head to look at the ocean. “Since we were little, I’ve always watched you. Back then though, you seemed happy and were always playing with the other kids. I never understood why I was so fascinated with watching you, but I was.  But when we entered middle school, something changed in your personality. You just pushed people away from you and built up these crazy walls to keep others out. That confused me more than anything. So I stayed to the side and just kept an eye out on you to make sure nothing happened to you. I was always watching you and I noticed that if someone would bump into you, you would cry out just a little and I guessed a small part of me knew then that you were getting beaten. I just didn’t want to listen to that part of myself. I remembered a time during our freshman year when I saw the bruise. You looked at me with those blue eyes asking me not to question it, but that made me pay even more attention to you. I watched to see if someone at school had caused you trouble, but never saw anyone.”

I looked down at his hands to see he was back to gripping the railing as he poured his heart out. Why hadn’t I noticed that he had been there the whole time, watching me? I remembered him, saying he noticed things at the beginning, but never told me he had been watching me.

Still looking into the night sky, he continued: “Then the day when I finally came up to you, I knew something was off. I was standing by my locker talking to Jake about some race coming up when I caught you walking down the hall with your hood over your head covering your face. Then when I saw your face, something snapped and I knew I couldn’t just stand in the shadows anymore. You know the rest, but along the way my feelings for you grew. I fell in love with you and it hurts to know that in a few weeks you might just walk away from me.”

Brandon looked at me, and even with just the moon shining, I could see the love he had for me in them. After his confession and knowing the truth now, I knew without a doubt that this was the man I was meant to be with. I was in love with Brandon Mitchell, the bad boy. “Brandon...” I started, but stopped when I saw the hurt in his eyes. He held up his hand.

“Kami, don’t. I’m ok, with you knowing how I really feel. I just want to live the night like this,” he said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him. “I just want to have you in my arms every night when I go to sleep till I take my last breath. You mean more to me than anything ever has.”

“Brandon,” I tried again.

And again, he cut me off. “No, Kami. Come, let’s go to sleep.” He let go of me and returned into our dark room. He led us to the bed, leaving the door open and letting the salty sea air swim its way into the room with us. He pulled the covers back and crawled into bed, pulling me down next to him. “Good night, Kami.” He kissed the top of my head that was lying against his chest and his arms were wrapped around my midsection. “I love you.”

I just lay there as I felt his body relax. I looked up to his sleeping face, how at peace he was. I knew he was asleep, but I had to tell him, hoping it would be easier to say it again once he was awake. I lifted up a little and he tightened his grip on me, bringing a smile to my face. Leaning down, I brushed my lips against his. “Brandon, I’m in love with you too.”

Looking at him, I couldn't help but smile softly. I reached out and lightly traced my fingertips down the side of his face. "I love you, Brandon," I repeated, my voice sounding more confident. I was stronger, more sure of my feelings for my husband. I may not have married him for love, but as each day had passed, I had grown to love him with everything I had in me.

I leaned forward to kiss him again, only to feel his hand slide up my arm and over my shoulder, before wrapping around the back of my neck. This allowed him to pull me tenderly close to his chest, our lips connecting. My eyes closed and I devoured the sweet taste of his tongue as it teased my own. Suddenly, Brandon gripped my waist, flipping me over so that I was now lying on my back.

I gazed up at him with anticipation as he hovered above me, holding my breath and waiting as his eyes wandered down the length of my body. I couldn't help but blush under his heated gaze and he gave me a sexy smirk before lowering his head for another kiss. Sighing, I wrapped my arms around his neck while I twined my fingers into his hair, pulling him closer, not wanting any space between us. Our lips moved in perfect synch with one another, giving and taking. He let out a low growl just before he pulled back for air. I looked into those warm brown eyes and I could see the love and passion reflected in them by way of the moonlight that was streaming into our room.

He breathed in deeply. "Say it again, Kami," he whispered, giving me that same sexy smile which had the unique ability to make me both weak and exhilarated at the same time. I didn't think it was possible, but my heart started hammering away faster, pounding hard against my chest. He had heard me. It was out in the open now. My soul had been laid bare. Brandon knew how I felt about him now. The relief that he wasn't backing away from me made me love him even more.

My hands played with his hair as I waited for him to make the next move.

"You are so beautiful, Kami."

My smile grew as I felt his body shudder above mine. Acting on instinct, I tenderly scratched my nails across his scalp and along the back of his neck. His head bowed as I tugged lightly on the silken strands that were held within my hands. He looked up at me, his eyes meeting mine and I gave him a smile that I hoped conveyed everything I felt for him. "I love you, Brandon," I repeated.

Brandon let out a low chuckle, running a hand down my side until it reached my hip. His touch ignited a fire within me when I remembered that I was still in my bra and panties. He had access to caress any part of my body that he wanted.

 No sooner than that thought came to me when I felt his slightly calloused hand smooth over my hip, squeezing gently. I felt him slip a hand under my hips and raise them while bringing his hips down at the same time. Our bodies began grinding together with the promise of what was to come. He repeated the action, causing my blush to build. I could feel the evidence of the effect that our makeout session was having on him as he swelled within his pants. Our lips moved hungrily against each other, and I felt him ever so lightly lick my bottom lip, sending delightful shivers down my spine.

Brandon lifted his head in an unhurried manner before he ran his hand up my back, fingers grazing the clasp of my bra. My breath hitched and my heart raced once more. I could see the question that he was asking me in his eyes: was this all right? Was it OK to continue?

It was more than all right for me! And judging by how deeply he was breathing, it was fine with him, too. He studied me for a moment and his smile widened. But it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. He pulled away from me, lifting himself up and off me before sitting on the side of the bed. Brandon sighed deeply as he put his head in his hands. I grazed over at him, confused by this sudden rejection.

"Kami, we can't do this." He rubbed his hands over his face, looking up the ceiling before turning back to me. "I don't want you to think that just because I said I loved you, it automatically means that I expect sex from you now," he exclaimed, dropping his head back into his hands.

The sight of Brandon looking so disheveled pulled at something deep within me. I took a moment to really think about what he was saying. Did I want this? Did I want to be with him in that way? Was I ready to be with him sexually? Examining the situation, I knew that the answer to all of those questions was 'yes.' I loved Brandon and I trusted him. It made perfect sense as I swung my legs over the side of the bed and moved until I was standing in front of him.

Reaching out, I buried my hands into his hair, stroking the silky strands and letting them slide through my fingers. Kneeling in front of him, I tilted my head until I could see his eyes and brought a trembling hand up and rested it against his cheek. I could feel the roughness of the stubble on his face and looked into his eyes. "Brandon, listen to me, please," I begged, my voice coming out strong, confident, and sure. "You're not pressuring me into anything. I want to do this." I softly ran the tips of my fingers down his face and gently over his lips. Taking a deep breath to bolster my confidence, I reached behind me and unclasped my bra, letting the straps fall loose around my shoulders.

I heard him suck in a breath and I smiled. I had his attention now, there was no doubt about that!

Standing up, I took a step back and my body shivered at the heated look that was now in his eyes. I couldn't stop now, though, and I continued. "What I do want is for my husband to make passionate love to me. To show me how amazing being with someone can feel. And I want to show him that I love him more than words can ever begin to describe." I let my bra fall to the ground and moved around him and knelt on the bed, turning my head slightly to look at him. "Show me, Brandon. All of it."

Suddenly, he stood, spinning to face me, regarding me with such intensity that I felt it through to my bones. He placed a knee on the bed and then reached out, pulling my legs out from underneath me. As I fell on my back, he sprang forward, effectively holding me in place. My eyes widened as I heard his breathing pick up. With such tenderness uncommon in a man his size, Brandon ran his hand through my hair, brushing it off my face and tucking it behind my ear.

"Kami, are you sure?" His voice was strangled. "I need to know because once we start this, I don't think I'll be able to stop." He swallowed hard.

I didn't want to use words. I wanted to show him. Actions always speak louder than words. I rose up and kissed him hard. I put all of my certainty and love into that kiss. I used that kiss to let him know that I was ready to belong to him in every way possible. I wanted us to show each other what our true feelings were.