Marriage: To Claim His Twins (12 page)

‘But not bigger than any of the others, I'm sure.'

She had said something—a few gasped words—but he hadn't been listening by then. He had been too busy exploring the wet eagerness of her sex, stroking his fin
gertip its length until he reached the hard pulse of her clitoris, and by that stage she had begun to move against his touch and moan softly at the same time, in a rising crescendo of excitement.

He had told himself that her supposed arousal was almost bound to be partly faked but unexpectedly his body had responded to it as though it was real. It had increased his own urgency, so that he had replaced his fingers with the deliberate thrust of his sex. She had tensed then, looking up at him with widened dark eyes that had filled with fake tears when he had thrust properly into her, urged by the wanton tightness of her muscles as they clung to him, as though wanting to hold and possess him. Their resistance had incited him to drive deeper and deeper into her, just for the pleasure of feeling their velvet clasp. He had come quickly and hotly, his lack of control catching him off-guard, her body tightening around him as he pulsed into her.

Sander wrenched his thoughts back to the present. What had happened with Ruby was not an interlude in his life or an aspect of himself that reflected well on him, he was forced to admit. In fact part of the reason he had chosen to lock these memories away in the first place had been because of his sense of angry distaste. Like something rotten, they carried with them the mental equivalent of a bad odour that couldn't be ignored or masked. If he judged Ruby harshly for her part in their encounter, then he judged himself even more harshly—especially now that he knew the consequences of those few out of control seconds of raw male sensuality.

It was because he didn't like the fact that his sons had been conceived in such a way that he was experiencing the regrets he was having now, Sander told himself. He owed them a better beginning to their life than that.

What was it that was gnawing at him now? Regret because his sons had been conceived so carelessly, so uncaringly, and in anger? Or something more than that? Regret that he hadn't taken more time to—? To what? To get to know the mother of his sons better or to think of the consequences of his actions? Because deep down inside he felt guilty about the way he had treated Ruby? She had only been seventeen after all.

He hadn't known that then, Sander defended himself. He had assumed she was much older. And if he had known…?

Sander stood up and paced the floor of his office, stopping abruptly as he relived how, virtually as soon as he had released her, Ruby had gone to the bathroom. He had turned on his side, ignoring her absence, even then aware of how far his behaviour had fallen short of his own normal high standards. But even though he had wanted to blot out the reality of the situation, and Ruby herself, he had still somehow been unable to stop listening to the sound of the shower running and then ceasing, had been aware against his will of her return to the bed, her skin cold and slightly damp as she pressed up against his back, shivering slightly. He had had no need for intimacy with her any more. She had served her purpose, and he preferred sleeping alone. And yet for some reason, despite all of that, he had
turned over and taken her in his arms, feeling her body stiffen and then relax as he held her.

She had fallen asleep with her head on his chest, murmuring in protest in her sleep every time he tried to ease away from her, so that he had spent the night with her cuddled up against him. And wasn't it true that somehow she had done something to him during those night hours? Impressed herself against his body and his senses so that once in a while over the years that had followed he would wake up from a deep sleep, expecting to find her there lying against him and feeling as though a part of him was missing because she wasn't?

How long had he fought off that admission, denying its existence, pretending to himself that since he had returned to the island this time his sleep had never once been disturbed by that aching absence? He moved impatiently towards the window, opening it to breathe in fresh air in an attempt to clear his head.

What had brought all this on? Surely not a simple comment from Anna that she considered Ruby to be a good mother. A good mother
and
a good wife, he reminded himself.

His mobile had started to ring. He reached for it, frowning when he saw his sister's name flash up on the screen.

‘Sander, we've been back from America nearly a week now. When are you going to bring Ruby to Athens so that I can meet her?'

Elena liked to talk, and it was several minutes before Sander could end the call, having agreed that, since he
was due to pay one of his regular visits to the Athens office anyway, he would take Ruby with him so that she and Elena could meet.

S
HE
had better find out for sure that she was pregnant, and if so tell Sander. She couldn't put it off much longer, Ruby warned herself. She wasn't the only one to blame after all. It took two, and she
had
taken her birth control pills.

She had also been unwell, she reminded herself, and in the anxiety and despair of everything that had been happening in London she had forgotten that that could undermine the effectiveness of the pills. Surely Sander would be able to understand that? But what if he didn't? What if he accused her of deliberately flouting his wishes? But what possible reason could she logically have for doing that? He was a successful, intelligent businessman. He would be bound to recognise that there was no logical reason for her to deliberately allow herself to become pregnant. He might be a successful, intelligent businessman, but he had also been a child whose mother had betrayed him. Would
that
have any bearing on the fact that she was pregnant? On the face of it, no—but Ruby had an instinctive feeling that it might.

She would tell him tonight, Ruby promised herself, once the boys were in bed.

Her mind made up, Ruby was just starting to relax when Sander himself appeared, striding from the house onto the patio area, quite plainly in search of her. Her heart somersaulted with guilt. Had he somehow guessed? At least if he had then her pregnancy would be out in the open and they could discuss it rationally. It was only when he told her that his sister had been on the phone, and that they would be leaving for Athens in morning and staying there for the night, that Ruby realised, cravenly, that a part of her had actually hoped that he
had
guessed, and that she would be spared the responsibility of telling him that she had once again conceived.

Since he hadn't guessed, though, it was sensible, surely, to wait until they returned from Athens to tell him? That way they would have more time to discuss the issue properly. He would be angry, she knew that, but she was clinging to the knowledge that he loved the twins, and using that knowledge to reassure herself that, angry though he would no doubt be with her, he would love this new baby as well.

‘I've got a small apartment in Athens that I use when I'm there on business. We'll stay there. The twins will be safe and well looked after here, with Anna.'

‘Leave them behind?' Ruby checked. ‘They haven't spent a single night without me since they were born.'

Her anxious declaration couldn't possibly be fake, Sander recognised. It had been too immediate and automatic for that. He tried to imagine his own mother
refusing a trip to a cosmopolitan city filled with expensive designer shops to stay with her children, and acknowledged that it would never have happened. His mother had hated living on the island, had visited it as infrequently as she could, and he himself had been sent to boarding school in England as soon as he had reached his seventh birthday.

‘Elena will want to spend time with you, and I have business matters to attend to. The boys will be far happier here on the island in Anna's care than they would be in a city like Athens.'

When Ruby bit her lip, her eyes still shadowed, he continued, ‘I can assure you that you can trust Anna to look after them properly. If I did not believe that myself, there would be no question of us leaving them.'

Immediately Ruby's gaze cleared.

‘Oh, I know I can trust your judgement when it comes to their welfare. I know how much you love them.'

Her immediate and open admission that she accepted not only his judgement for their sons but with it his right to make such a judgement was having the most extraordinary effect on him, Sander realised. Like bright sunlight piercing a hitherto dark and impenetrable black cloud. He was bemused and dazzled by the sudden surge of pleasure her words gave him—the feeling that they were united, and that she…that she
trusted
him, Sander recognised. Ruby trusted him to make the right decision for their sons. A surge of unfamiliar emotion swamped him, and he had an alien and overpowering urge to take her in his arms and hold her tight. He took
a step towards her, and then stopped as his need to protect himself cut in.

Unaware of Sander's reaction to her statement, Ruby sighed. She was being silly, she knew. The twins
would
be perfectly safe with Anna. Was it really for their sakes she wanted them with her? Or was it because she felt their presence was a form of protection and was nervous at the thought of meeting Sander's sister? Had they had a normal marriage she would have been able to admit her apprehension to Sander—but then if they were in a normal marriage she would already have told him about the new baby, and that news would have been a matter of joy and happiness for both of them.

 

‘You will like Elena—although, as I told her often when she was a little girl, she talks all the time and sometimes forgets to let others speak.' Anna shook her head as she relayed this information to Ruby. She was helping her to pack for the trip to Athens—her offer, Ruby suspected, more because she had sensed her trepidation and wanted to reassure her than because she really felt Ruby needed help.

‘She is very proud of her brothers, especially Sander, and she will be glad that he has married you when she sees how much you love him.'

Ruby dropped the pair of shoes she had been holding, glad that the act of bending down to pick them up gave her an opportunity to hide her shock. How much she loved Sander? What on earth had made Anna think and say that? She didn't love him at all.

Did she?

Of course not. After all, he hadn't exactly given her any reason to love him, had he?

Since when had love needed a reason? What reason had she needed in that Manchester club, when she had looked across the bar and felt her heart leap inside her chest, as though he himself had tugged it and her towards him?

That had been the silly, naive reaction of a girl desperate to create a fairytale hero—a saviour to rescue her from her grief, Ruby told herself, beginning to panic.

Anna was mistaken. She had to be. But when she had recovered her composure enough to look at the other woman she saw from the warm compassion in her eyes that Anna herself certainly didn't think that she was wrong.

Was it possible?
Could
she have started to love Sander without realising it? Could the aching, overwhelming physical desire for him she could not subdue be caused by love and not merely physical need? He was, after all, the father of her children, and she couldn't deny that initially when she had realised that she was pregnant a part of her had believed she had conceived because of the intensity of her emotional response to him. Because she had been naive, and frightened and alone, she had wanted to believe that the twins had been created out of love.

And this new baby—didn't it too deserve to have its mother's body accept the seed that began its life with love?

‘You will like Elena,' Anna repeated, ‘and she will like you.'

 

Ruby was clinging to those words several hours later, after their plane had touched down in Athens and they were in the arrivals hall, as an extremely stylish dark-haired young woman came hurrying towards them, her eyes covered by a pair of designer sunglasses.

‘Sander. I thought I was going to be late. The traffic is horrendous—and the smog! No wonder all our precious ancient buildings are in so much danger. Andreas said to tell you that he is pretty sure he has secured the Taiwan contract—oh, and I want you both to come to dinner tonight. Nothing too formal…'

‘Elena, you are like a runaway train. Stop and let me introduce you to Ruby.' Sander's tone was firm but wry, causing his sister to laugh and then turn to Ruby, catching her off-guard when she immediately enveloped her in a warm hug.

‘Anna has told me what a fortunate man Sander is to have married you. I can't wait to meet the twins. Wasn't I clever, spotting them at Manchester Airport? But for me you and Sander might never have made up your quarrel and been reconciled.'

They were out of the airport now, and Sander was saying, ‘You'd better let me drive, Elena. I have some expensive memories of what happens when you drive and talk at the same time.'

‘Oh, you.' Elena mock pouted as she handed over her car keys, and then told Ruby, ‘It wasn't really my fault. The other driver should never have been parked where he was in the first place.'

Anna was right—she was going to like Elena, Ruby
acknowledged as her sister-in-law kept up a stream of inconsequential chatter and banter whilst Sander drove them through the heavy Athens traffic.

Elena had obviously questioned Sander about their relationship, and from what she had said Ruby suspected that he had made it seem as though the twins had been conceived during an established relationship between them rather than a one-night stand. That had been kind of him. Kind and thoughtful. Protecting the twins and protecting her. The warm glow she could feel inside herself couldn't possibly be happiness, could it?

 

The Athens night was warm, the soft air stroking Ruby's skin as she and Sander walked from the taxi that had just dropped them off to the entrance to the exclusive modern building that housed Sander's Athens apartment. They had spent the evening with Elena and Andreas at their house on the outskirts of the city, and tomorrow morning they would be returning to the island. Of course she was looking forward to seeing the twins, but… Was she simply deceiving herself, because it was what she wanted, or had there really been a softening in Sander's attitude towards her today? A kindness and a warmth that had made her feel as though she was poised on the brink of something special and wonderful?

Sander looked at Ruby. She was wearing a pale peach silk dress patterned with a design of pale grey fans. It had shoestring straps, a fitted bodice and a gently shaped slim skirt. Its gentle draping hinted at the feminine shape of her figure without revealing too much of it, and
the strappy bodice revealed the tan her skin had acquired in the weeks she had spent on the island. Tonight, watching her over dinner as she had talked and smiled and laughed with his sister and her husband, he had felt pride in her as his wife, as well as desire for her as a man. Something—Sander wasn't prepared to give it a name—had begun to change. Somehow
he
had begun to change. Because Ruby was a good mother? Because she had trusted him about the twins' care? Because tonight she had shown an intelligence, a gentleness and a sense of humour that—a little to his own surprise—he had recognised were uniquely hers, setting her apart from his mother and every other woman he had known?

Sander wasn't ready to answer those questions, but he was ready and eager to make love to his wife.

To make love to her
as
his wife. A simple enough statement, but for Sander it resonated with admissions that he would have derided as impossible the day he had married her.

As they entered the apartment building Sander reached for Ruby's hand. Neither of them said anything, but Ruby's heart leapt and then thudded into the side of her chest. The hope she had been trying desperately not to let go to her head was now soaring like a helium balloon.

On the way up to the apartment in the lift she pleaded mentally, ‘Please let everything be all right. Please let things work out for…for
all
of us.' And by all she included the new life she was carrying as well.

She
was
going to tell Sander, but today whilst she had had the chance she had slipped into a chemist's shop and
bought a pregnancy testing kit—just to be doubly sure. She would wait until they were back on the island to use it, and then she
would
tell Sander. Then, but not now. Because she wanted tonight to be very special. Tonight she wanted for herself. Tonight she wanted to make love with Sander, knowing that she loved him.

 

In the small sitting room of the apartment, Sander removed the jacket of his linen suit, dropping it onto one of the chairs. The small action tightened the fabric of his shirt against the muscles of his back, and Ruby's gaze absorbed their movement, the now familiar ache of longing softening her belly and then spreading swiftly through her. Her sudden need to breathe more deeply, to take in oxygen, lifted her breasts against the lining of her dress, causing her already aroused and sensitive nipples to react even more to the unintentional drag of the fabric. When Sander straightened up and turned round he could see their swollen outline pressing eagerly against the barrier of her dress. His own body reacted to their provocation immediately, confirming the need for her he had already known he felt.

She couldn't stand here like this, Ruby warned herself. If she did Sander was bound to think she was doing so because she wanted him and was all too likely to say so. She didn't want that. She didn't want to be accused of being a woman who could not live without sexual satisfaction. What she wanted was to be told that he couldn't resist her, that he adored her and loved her.

Quickly Ruby turned towards the door, not wanting
Sander to see her expression, but to her astonishment before she could reach it he said quietly, ‘You looked beautiful tonight in that dress.'

Sander was telling her she looked beautiful?

Ruby couldn't move. She couldn't do anything other than stare at him, torn between longing and disbelief.

Sander was coming towards her, standing in front of her, lifting his hands to slide the straps of her dress off her shoulders as he told her softly, ‘But you will look even more beautiful without it.'

The words were nothing, and yet at the same time they were everything. Ruby trembled from head to foot, hardly daring to breathe as Sander unzipped her dress so that it could fall to the floor and then cupped the side of her face and kissed her.

She was in Sander's arms, and he was kissing her, and she was kissing him back. Kissing him back, holding him, feeling all her doubts and fears slipping away from her like sand sucked away by the sea as her love for him claimed her.