Marriage Matters (35 page)

Seventy

“H
oly shit.” Chloe stared out into the night. “Holy shit. My mother just went bat-shit crazy.” She peered down the block in the direction her mother had gone. The snow and ice blew indoors, landing on her bare skin. She shivered.

“Close the door,” June said. “Come back inside.”

As they walked back into the parlor, Chloe kept looking back at the door. It was freezing outside and she was obviously worried. “We have to go find her.” She turned back to the door, her eyes panicked. “Grandma, I’m going to go.”

“Just give her some time, Chloe. She’ll come back.” June took a seat on the couch. “In my experience,” she said, “someone running that fast is doing so for a reason. Your mother has some things to figure out right now.”

“Like what?” Chloe demanded. “What the hell is going on?”

“Your parents are having some problems.”

“Thank you.” Chloe’s voice was tinged with sarcasm. “Thank you so much for the news flash. You have truly rocked my world.”

“Do not take that tone of voice with me, young lady.” June folded her hands and eyed her granddaughter. “Your mother is going through a hard time right now. She’s always been somewhat of a timid person. But she’s always wanted so much.”

June thought back to Kristine watching those travel videos as a child, fantasizing about where she was going to go, knowing full well she was not brave enough to go on her own. Then, June thought back to the first time she’d met Kevin and chuckled.

“Your father was the best thing that could have ever happened to her. He was so loud, so out of control . . . In the beginning, I was so scared he would take over her life.” She stared at the colorful lights dotting the Christmas tree. “But he didn’t. The only thing he did was love her.”

Chloe seemed to be listening closely, her gray eyes intent.

“They were best friends. But . . .” June looked up at the mantel. It was lined with photographs of their family over the years. Her gaze settled on the one of Kristine and Kevin, on a ski trip. Chloe stood next to them, just a little girl. “With him gone all the time now, your mother hasn’t had any idea how to handle it. She’s lost her anchor. And your mother is the type of person who needs to have an anchor.”

June looked out at the window. The snow was coming down hard. She said a silent prayer that Kristine would hurry up and come back home.

“We should call my dad.” Chloe shook her head. “Get them on the phone. Just get them to talk to each other.”

“We have to let your parents handle it on their own,” June said. “They can do it. I know they can.”

“What are you talking about?” Chloe practically exploded. “You never let anyone handle anything on their own!”

June looked down at her engagement ring. “A wise man told me that it’s time to trust that my family has the capability to figure out their own problems. I’ve really been trying to do that.”

“You decide that now? After something like
that
?” Chloe gestured at the door.

Inside, June’s heart was pounding. Yes, she was terrified for Kristine. Out there, alone, on a night as cold as this? It was simply foolish. What was the girl thinking? But June was not going to jump in a cab and troll the city streets until she found her, then drag her back home. She had made a promise to Charley. One that she intended to keep.

“I trust your mother,” June said. “And you, Chloe. I trust that you will make the right decisions in your life. I can’t do it for you.”

Getting up, Chloe paced the room. She walked over to the mantel and rested her hand against the garland. After a long moment, she stared at June. “I need to ask you something.”

June swallowed hard. Chloe looked angry. Did she know that June had influenced her engagement? She certainly hoped not. If that were the case, June doubted her granddaughter would ever trust her again.

“My dear,” she said, smoothing a couch cushion with a nervous hand, “you can ask me anything.”

“Why weren’t you nice to my father?” Chloe’s eyes blazed. “When he and my mom first got married?”

June started. Goodness. Talk about water under the bridge. “I’m not quite sure what you’ve heard . . .”

“When my father came to meet you for the first time, you wouldn’t even let him stay at your house.”

“Well, of course not,” June said. “I booked him a room at a lovely hotel. I couldn’t have him sneaking down the hallway, trying to get into your mother’s—”

Chloe held up her hand. “You didn’t approve of him. For years.”

“So what?” June would make no apologies for that. “Chloe, he wasn’t good enough for your mother.” She chuckled, reaching for the afghan draped over the back of the couch and settling it over her shoulders. “But I’ve learned something over the years—no one would have ever been good enough for my little girl.”

“You didn’t have to act that way,” Chloe said. “You did not have to treat him that way.”

June sighed. In Chloe’s eyes, she could see so much of Kevin. The hurt and confusion that settled there, in those early years. “I made a mistake. But Chloe, when you are a mother, you’ll understand . . .”

“I’m getting a degree that is heavily influenced by psychology.” Her voice was cold. “I think I understand how family dynamics work. But Grandma, I do have to say this—maybe the way you felt about my father didn’t give my mother the permission to love him the way he deserved to be loved.”

June’s mouth dropped open. “Whatever are you talking about?”

“I know how it feels.” Chloe’s forehead was scrunched up. Her eyes appeared to be fixed on the angel on the tree. “There was a time when I thought that, if the stars aligned and something crazy happened, Ben and I would end up together. But you made it very clear you would die if that happened.”

June scoffed. “I never said I’d
die.
I just said that . . .” Her voice trailed off. A prickle of fear clawed at her spine. “What, exactly, are you saying?”

“I don’t know.” Chloe shook her head. “I think I’m in love with Ben. I think I always have been.”

A million different thoughts ran through June’s head. She stayed silent until she could decipher one of them. Finally, she said, “I understand.”

Chloe’s eyes widened. “You
do
?”

Reaching down, June indicated the broach she was wearing. “Did you know that your grandfather gave me this?” The pin was shaped like a tiny flower. It was a gorgeous enamel, done in purples, blues and greens. “He gave it to me a few days before we got married. And to be honest, I didn’t know if I should even accept it.”

“Why?” Chloe breathed.

“Because I was having doubts.”

Chloe walked over to the couch. Hesitant, she took a seat. “You’ve said that. You asked your mom to send you to a nunnery.”

June squirmed. “That story isn’t exactly true. I made that up because . . .” She thought back to that one terrible night with Eugene. To this day, it still filled her with regret. “Because the real story . . . Well, it hurts my feelings, to be perfectly honest.” Swallowing hard, she said, “One night, your grandfather and I made the foolish mistake of having a heart-to-heart, just a few nights before the wedding. And he told me . . .” She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, as though she had the power to stop the words. The memory came anyway, as clear as day. “He told me that he was afraid he wasn’t in love with me.”

Chloe’s mouth dropped open. “He
said
that?”

June fussed with the afghan, then finally set it aside. “I’m afraid so. Your grandfather and I got engaged because of the war, you see. His number came up and we decided to just do it. But because of that one stupid night, when we said all the things that we shouldn’t, I spent the first few years of my marriage not knowing if my husband was really in love with me.” She shook her head. “Boy, we were so young. What did we know?”

Chloe wrinkled her eyebrow and looked out toward the window. Sleet was pelting the windows in a steady, rhythmic crunch. “What are you trying to say to me?”

“I don’t want to meddle,” June emphasized, “but I know what you’re going through right now. You’re jumping into a marriage and you’re worried that it might not work out. But love is a funny thing, Chloe. It has a way of working itself out.”

Chloe fiddled with a beaded bracelet on her wrist. “You still haven’t said a word about Ben. I said I could be in love with him and you just ignored me. Tell me.” Her granddaughter’s face was troubled. “Why don’t you like him?”

Oh, for heaven’s sake. If the girl was going to drag it out of her . . .

“I don’t like Ben,” June said, “because in all of those years of friendship, he has never bothered to see you as something more. You’re an amazing woman, Chloe. And it hurts me that he can’t see it.”

Chloe stared, her hands folded tightly in her lap. “That’s the only reason you didn’t like him?”

“Isn’t that enough?” June sniffed. “Honestly. You were standing right in front of him for how many years? How could he possibly be dumb enough not to see it?”

“I think I’m going to go,” Chloe said, getting to her feet. The poor thing looked dazed. Exhausted, really. “This day has been a little too much for me.”

June also got to her feet, her muscles aching. The tension of the day had been too much for her, as well. “Alright.” Finding her purse, she unearthed a twenty. “Take a cab. Tell him to drive slow. The roads are slick.” She looked at the window, trying to fight back the fear in her heart. “Considering your mother is out there, most likely freezing to death, I want to know that at least one of you made it home alive.”

Chloe walked over to June and collapsed in her arms. As they held each other, June kissed the top of her granddaughter’s head. “Everything will be just fine,” she whispered. “Everything’s going to be alright.”

The words echoed in her ear as June stood at the front window, watching as her granddaughter hailed a cab, but June wasn’t certain she believed them. The moment the taillights faded into the night, she walked over to the phone and dialed up Charley. He was at his house, waiting for her night with the girls to come to an end.

“Come on over,” June said, sinking into the sofa, “but be warned. I have an unfortunate feeling that everything is about to fall apart.”

Seventy-one

A
fter leaving her mother’s house, Kristine hailed a cab. They sat at the curb for a long moment as Kristine debated. Should she?

Giving the address, she leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes. Heat blasted out from the vents in the front seat and she shivered, wondering if she would ever be warm again. Her heart was aching, her mind torn in too many directions.

Kristine couldn’t believe what she’d done. She could only imagine the look on Kevin’s face when he got her message and how much it would hurt him. Twenty-five years of expectations sinking to the bottom of the sea. But there were too many problems, too many things that a vow renewal ceremony wouldn’t fix.

They didn’t
talk
. Not anymore. Why did June, of all people, know some deep, dark secret about their marriage that Kristine didn’t even know? Something to do with money, which explained Kevin’s intense behavior over the past few years. She would call their financial advisor first thing in the morning and find out.

The thought was so humiliating. The fact that she would have to pick up the phone and explain to someone they’d worked with for years that she had no idea what was going on. Still, that would be the least of the embarrassment they’d have to face. As soon as word got out about the cancelled vow renewal, everyone would know they’d failed. She wondered what people would think. She wondered if they’d say, “We can’t believe it, they were so in love” or, “Yeah. Saw that one coming a mile away.”

Kristine had always done that. When she heard of a marriage ending, she’d quantify it in her mind, thinking, “Oh, that makes sense because . . .” Or, her reaction had been the opposite, too. Completely taken off guard. Even though it didn’t matter anymore, she really hoped that people were surprised when they heard the news about her and Kevin. Otherwise, what had they been doing for all those years?

“Ma’am?” the cab driver said. The windshield wipers were moving back and forth, making a rhythmic sound against the snow. “We’re here.”

Kristine opened her eyes. She gazed at the large building. The moment of truth. Could she really do this?

Fumbling with her purse, she paid the driver and opened the door. Her clothes were wet and for a brief moment, she’d gotten used to being comfortable and warm. The chill of the wind hit her, even harder than before. She really didn’t know what she was doing here.

Navigating the ice on the sidewalk, she looked up. It was hard to see through the thick white flakes that were falling in earnest. But in a vague outline against the sky, she took in the sight of the church where she and Kevin had gotten married.

Kristine hovered in the entryway, staring up at the nave, letting the sudden warmth engulf her. It had been years since she stepped in this church, but the faint smell of candle wax and incense took her right back to her wedding day. She’d been terrified at the idea of walking down the aisle, all eyes on her. If it wasn’t for Kevin, holding her hands the way he had, she might have just passed out at the altar.

Taking a few tentative steps forwards, she remembered the way the red carpeting had swallowed the sound of her footsteps and the way the pipes of the organ gleamed overhead. On that day, light had shined like a beacon through the stained glass windows but tonight, with the snow and the darkness, the colors seemed old and faded. Sliding into the hard wooden bench in the back, she bowed her head.

Freeze-frames of her and Kevin clicked through her mind. The moment they’d met, the kiss they’d shared after welcoming Chloe into the world, even some random day when they’d bickered over what security system to buy for their home. There was so much history between them, it was almost impossible to sort out. It was even harder to think of letting it all go.

Opening her eyes, Kristine stared at the place at the altar where they had pledged eternity to each other. She ached for the innocent girl she’d once been. So idealistic, so sure that life and love would give her everything she’d ever wanted. She was marrying the man of her dreams! What could go wrong?

Kristine waited for the inevitable barrage of tears. To her surprise, they didn’t come. Instead, her heart was filled with an icy calm, like the sea after a storm. She bowed her head. Reaching down, she slid off her engagement, vow renewal and wedding rings. Snapping open her pocketbook, she dropped them inside like loose change.

* * *

“Do you have everything you need?” June asked.

Kristine had arrived back on her doorstep half an hour later, pale and removed. June had brought her inside, drawn her a hot bath and made her a strong drink. It did not escape her notice that Kristine was not wearing her wedding rings.

“I’m fine.” Kristine’s voice was quiet. “Thank you.” She was buried in the bubbles of the bathtub, her head against the blow-up pillow. The delicate skin around her neck was flushed a bright red and finally, she seemed to have stopped shivering.

June nodded. “In case there’s any confusion about the matter, you’re welcome to stay here,” she said. “As long as you need. Until you figure things out.”

“I know.” Kristine gave her a weak smile. “That’s why I’m here.”

Shutting the door gently behind her, June walked down the stairs and into the parlor. Charley was sitting in a straight-backed chair with a worried expression on his face. As she walked in, he stood up, as he did every time she walked into a room. She felt a wave of appreciation for this wonderful man. Then, her eyes filled with tears.

“June.” Charley pulled her into his strong arms. “Is she alright?”

“No.” Impatiently, June wiped at her eyes. “She left him. The man who I begged her not to marry all those years ago, she up and left him. The man who . . .” Her voice caught in her throat. She sank down on the couch, letting her face fall into her hands. Looking up at Charley, she said, “The man who loves her more than anything in the world.”

Laying his hand on her back, Charley held her tight. In the safety of his arms, June cried as if the heartbreak were her own.