Managing Your Depression (8 page)

This may be hard to do when you are depressed. You may feel as though you are describing another person. If you have difficulty with this, get feedback from others who know you well. Ask your friends and family to remind you, honestly, of your strengths and unique personal qualities. Once you identify these qualities, you will have a clearer idea of what you are about, which will help reconnect you to your healthy baseline self. Identifying your preferences and beliefs will help you
be
yourself. Use the worksheets in this chapter to guide you through this exercise.

Perhaps this example will help you get started. When I had trouble writing my own personal statement, my therapist used it as an illustration. In a scene from the movie
Bull Durham
, the baseball character played by the actor Kevin Costner gives us a modified version of this exercise when he confidently states: “I believe in the soul, … the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch … I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter … I believe in … opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve.” He continues on to further list his preferences and opinions. Now we have a deeper idea of who the character is, what he values. Using that as an example, and with input from my friends, I made a list of my own preferences, personal qualities, and values, which we then discussed in session. That list eventually grew and became my responses to the Personal Preferences exercise on
page 51
.

Step 2

Once you have made your list,
do the things you like
, or used to like, to do. Consciously choose more of your preferences that are “positive” and less of those that are “negative.” Work to further develop your strengths and skills.

Step 3

Based on your strengths, beliefs, and preferences,
put together a brief statement about yourself
. This is what you would say to yourself about yourself, your personal narrative. It is not for anyone else
to hear right now. Describe who you are, your strengths, and your preferences. “I am a person who _____” is a good place to start.

Sit with it, get used to it, and practice saying it to yourself. Have that statement in your head so that you will have access to it when you need it. Then, when depression comes roaring in, you will have this reminder of who you are, a reminder that you are not defined by your depression. Eventually it will feel comfortable.

Having self-confidence and opinions, having a sense of who you are and having easy access to it, also helps with your relationships.

Sample of a Brief Personal Statement:

I am a (man, woman) who is intelligent, considerate, and kind, with a subtle sense of humor, respected in my job, caring toward my parents, good at fixing bicycles, who values honesty, integrity, and friendship, and likes baseball, pasta,
Trivial Pursuit
, reading to my daughter, and mystery novels.

Now create your own.

My Personal Statement

I am a person who ________________________________