Authors: Kay Stockham
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T
HAT EVENING
Hal frowned when he pulled up his drive and found Dr. Booker's Mercedes parked by his door. He shifted the cruiser into Park and got out, his heart thumping wildly as he ran up the walk. A neighbor had called him when she'd seen the doc's car and now he entered his house, glad she had.
Melissa was hysterical.
“What's going on? What's happened?”
Mel raised her head from a woman's shoulder and Hal frowned when he recognized her. “What are you doing here?”
“She came with me,” Dr. Booker murmured. He stepped from the kitchen carrying a glass of water and pressed it into Melissa's hand. “Drink this.”
Hal moved forward only to have to stop and go around the baby boy crawling across the floor. “
What
is going on?”
Melissa finally found her voice. “I can't believe it. All this time. Oh, he's got to hate me.” Melissa put her head in her hand and cried some more.
“Mel, whatâ”
The doc straightened. “We came to talk to Melissa about Josie.”
Hal curled his hands into fists and glared at Ashley Cade. “What have you saidâ”
“He didn't do it,” Melissa choked out. “Dr. Booker doesn't think Joe hurt her.”
Hal shifted his gaze to the doc. “He did.”
“There are multiple factors that indicate something else might have happened,” Bryan said.
“The lack of bruises,” he snapped. “Josie didn't weigh anything. He didn't have to grip her hard and that's why he didn't bruise her.”
“Chief, there's reason to believe it could have been from something else.”
“What
else
could explain a man shaking his baby to death?”
Booker inhaled. “I checked with a colleague of mine back east. He's one of the best pediatric specialists in the States. We went over every aspect of Josie's file as well as Melissa's records.”
Hal stiffened. “How did you get those?”
“Melissa used to be a patient of my grandfather's before her diagnosis. I had copies of her records in my office. But the point is,” he continued, “we went over everything and after talking with Melissa, we've drawn a different conclusionâthat Joe didn't kill her.”
“Then how did sheâ” Hal stopped, unable to go on, unable to take it all in. It wasn't possible.
Joe was guilty.
“Swelling of the brain caused by an accidental
overdose of an inoculation given too early to a baby too small. Vaccinations for children are safe so long as the children are healthy, but if they're notâ”
“The baby was fine.”
“Josie was under distress first during Melissa's pregnancy, then during premature birth. I, uh, took the liberty of checking Melissa's hospital chart. Her blood pressure was much too high during her pregnancy and extraordinarily high when she was sent to labor and delivery. The baby's heartbeat was erratic and stopped
twice
during labor. That's why her doctor performed a caesarian.”
Hal felt his knees grow weak. Could it be possible? “Nobody ever told us her heart stopped.”
“My guess is that they didn't tell either of you about the problems because Josie's tests came back within the normal ranges. Sometimes the effects of lack of oxygen don't show up for years, sometimes not until the children are in school. When her tests came back fine, I'm sure they felt there wasn't any need to frighten you any further than you already were under the circumstances.”
Hal looked at his daughter. The little boy had crawled across the room to where his mother sat comforting Mel and now he used Mel's pant legs to pull himself up. Even though she cried, Mel smiled at the baby.
“Keep going,” he ordered.
“Because of the multiple complications,
Josie's vaccinations should have been more closely monitored.”
That got his attention. “You're saying they weren't? Who was the doctor?”
“Dr. Peters,” Melissa whispered, her voice hoarse. “He's in Florida now with his daughter. He has Alzheimer's, remember?”
Peters. The man had been older than the hills and thought of as a quack, but in small towns where doctors and money were typically scarce, the people took what they could get and prayed for the best.
Booker cleared his throat. “I was talking to Ashley today about shots for her son when she asked specific questions based on some things Joe had said to her. She asked me to follow through and I did. Josie received full-strength vaccinations three days before she died.”
“It's my fault.”
Melissa's comment had Booker lowering himself onto his knees in front of her. “It's no one's fault. The doctor should've known better, yes,
but
odds of something like that happening are astronomical.
No one
could have predicted such severe complications, not even Peters.”
“But if I'd paid more attention to the dosage⦔
“You aren't a doctor or a nurse,” Ashley murmured.
“And this scientific information wasn't avail
able until the last few years, Melissa. Ten years ago no one knew it was a possibility.”
“I certainly wouldn't have known if it were me,” Ashley continued. “Melissa, you're not to blame. That's not why we're here. We wanted to confirm Josie's behavior before you left her with Joe that day, that's all.”
“But you're saying that killed her?” Hal questioned, still unsure. “Not Joe?”
Dr. Booker stood and stared him straight in the eyes. “In my professional opinion and given the lack of bruises or other abuse common in Shaken Baby Syndrome, yes. I can get a statement from the doctor I contacted if you'd like, confirming what I've told you. For some babies, the mistake wouldn't have mattered, but with Josie and with all the other complicationsâ¦it was too much. The type of reaction she had mimics the brain damage done by Shaken Baby Syndrome. The blood vessels swell and burst, seizures, brain damageâexactly what would have happened if she'd been violently shaken.”
Melissa's sobs filled the room. “Joe always said he didn't do it.
Always.
But no one believed him.
I
didn't believe him.” Her sobs increased again. “What have we done? Ten years of his life were taken away for nothing!”
The enormity of it hit him then and Hal fell back into a chair. Dazed, sick. Mel was right. For
ten years he'd blamed Joe. Watched an innocent kid be sentenced to a life most men wouldn't have survived.
He lowered his head into his hands and closed his eyes, but quickly opened them again when Ashley Cade's baby boy pulled on his legs and smiled up at him, one small white tooth shining.
“Bryan, I'm sorry, but I have to go. I have to find Joe and let him know Max is all rightâI have to tell him about Josie. I know what happened today brought back memories for him, and I've been gone way too long as it is.”
Hal stood, torn. “What happened today?”
Ashley Cade glanced at Booker before her chin raised. “Max choked on an outlet cover. He couldn't breathe and could've died, but Joe saved him.”
He looked down at the baby boy, staggered by the events of the last few minutes. “Doc, can you stay here with Melissa? I'll drive Ms. Cade toâ Iâ¦I have some things to say to Joe myself.”
Booker nodded. “No problem.”
Hal walked over to his daughter and drew her to her feet. “I love you, Mel.” He kissed her on the cheek, her tears wetting his lips. “You heard the doc. It's not your fault.”
“But, Dadâ”
He forced a smile to his lips. “God's will be done, Mel. God's will be done. Josie's in heaven with your mama, keeping her company until we get there.”
Â
J
OE SQUATTED DOWN
next to Josie's grave and placed the bouquet of wildflowers at the base of her headstone. He was on his way to Baxter, but knew he couldn't pass the cemetery without stopping.
“Josie, Iâ” Tears clogged his throat and he swallowed them back. “I'm so sorry, baby girl. I'm so sorry I didn't know what to do for you.” He fingered the lettering of her name, the tiny angel carved into the stone so similar to the one on her crib. “And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to come see you.” A shudder racked him before he regained control. “I didn't want to see you like this, you know? I always want to think of you as awake and smiling andâ” Joe ran a shaking hand over his face, his eyes. “I love you, sweetheart. I love you. I'm so sorry.”
Unable to stare at her name a moment longer, Joe shoved himself up and grabbed hold of his duffel. “You stay with your grandmas and keep them smiling, okay?” He turned on his heel and stalked away. Head down, his duffel over his shoulder, he left the cemetery.
He'd already walked to Ridgewood and said goodbye to his pop. His old man hadn't wanted him to go, and he'd spent more time there than he should have, arguing with his pop about his leaving. Afraid he wouldn't come back like Jack, his father wanted Joe to check him out of the home early. But with no transportation and very little
money, he couldn't do itâwouldn't do it and risk his father's health.
Joe kicked a rock in the road. For one brief moment in time, he'd been happy. Unbelievably so. And he realized it was more than some people ever experience in a lifetime so he should consider himself lucky and let it be enough.
But it wasn't.
She hadn't believed him.
His footsteps faltered, staggered, before he pulled himself together and kept walking. He'd be lucky to make it to Baxter before dark. Fatigue ate at him, dragged him down. The first stirrings of hunger after a day spent sick to his stomach with regrets.
After making love all night, letting him hold Max while she showered, Ashley had still believed the worst. And maybe she should have.
Lord above, he'd panicked. He'd stared at Max in horror when the boy's face turned three shades of purple, and all the while he'd tried to get the piece of plastic out of his throat, he'd kept picturing Josie. Over and over. Dying in his arms.
Don't go.
The whisper came to him from nowhere. A woman's voice. Joe turned, but saw nothing. No one. He shifted the duffel on his shoulder and wondered if he'd lost his mind.
He began walking again, picking up his pace. He didn't want to go anywhere. He wanted to stand
and fight, wanted to somehow make Ashley believe in him. Wanted to make the whole town know he wasn't a baby killer, but that was an impossible task and sometimes a guy had to know when to cut his losses and go.
The Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him.
The line from his mother's favorite Psalm came to him then as though sent directly from her, something he couldn't ignore.
Inhaling deeply, Joe paused there by the side of the road, his feet seemingly unable to move, the sound of crickets and bullfrogs in his ears, honeysuckle in the air.
He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay. To spend his life with Ashley, but to do that he had to go back and face her. Not take the coward's way out.
Somehow he had to convince her he hadn't been trying to hurt Max. Somehow he had to show her how much he loved them both.
A siren wound into a squawk behind him, but then went silent. Fear spiraled through him at the thought of going back to prison before he could say the things he needed to say, but the verse echoed through his head again.
Joe dropped the duffel, raised his hands. A door slammed behind him and he slowly turned to face the car. He hadn't made the complete circle when Ashley slammed into him, her scent surrounding him even
as her arms wound around his neck and she pressed her mouth to his, her tears wet on his face.
“What are you
doing?
I went to the house and you weren't there. You weren't at the shed, weren't at Ridgewood. Joe, you said you wouldn't walk away!”
He blinked, trembledâ¦hoped.
“You thought I hurt Max.”
“
No!
Joe, I knew you weren't hurting him. I believe you, Joe, I swear I do. I panicked. Something was wrong with my baby. I heard you shout and saw youâI freaked. I had to get to him, I had to help him and hold him. I admit I wasn't thinking straight, but I certainly didn't think you were trying to
hurt
him.” She framed his face with her hands, her expression furious, reminding him of the first time he'd seen her in Thompson's hardware store. “I
love
you, Joe Brody. I believe in you and I know it might take a while for you to believe in me, but don't you
dare
walk away from us after telling me you loveâ”
Joe smothered her words with his mouth.
“Joe,
umph!
S-stopâ Youâ”
He didn't want to stop. If Hal was going to drag him to jail on some trumped up charge, he wanted Ashley's taste to remember, to hold with him always.
“If you'd let her up for air she'd be able to tell you we have something to say, Joe.”
The chief's tone got through the haze surrounding him. Joe looked up to see Melissa's father leave the cruiser running and walk toward them.
In the back seat, Max was tucked firmly in his carseat, sound asleep.
Ashley slowly pulled away from him but stayed within arm's reach, a hand at his waist. Her gaze slid between the two of them and she licked her lips nervously. “Firstâ¦I need to explain something to you. Something very important.”
And there on the road, outside the cemetery where Josie was buried, Joe learned the truth he'd always known. He staggered but Ashley was there, her arms firm while she held him close with support and love.
Silence surrounded them, broken by the sound of the idling vehicle, crickets and birds. Ashley's soft, husky voice telling him everything would be all right.
“I don't know what to say, Joe,” Hal murmured finally. “âI'm sorry' isn't enough, and it never will be enough, but Lord knows I am.” Hal's voice broke and the larger-than-life chief battled to hold on to his composure. “If I could go back in timeâ”