Mama's Boy (24 page)

54

W
ould this nightmare ever end? Kay had barely closed the door when she heard Ryan say, “Was that his mother?”

“What?” Kay said. She was a little flustered because some of the things Gloria said were resonating with her.

“Was that his mother? Your son's mother?” he repeated.

His words caught her off guard. She had no idea that he knew. “Were you eavesdropping? You know you're in enough trouble as it is.”

Ryan stood, staring at her. “Why didn't you tell us you had a son?”

For a moment, Kay wanted to take her parents' approach and tell him to stay out of grown folks' business but she'd hated it when they'd done that to her and she really didn't want to do it to Ryan.

“Have a seat,” she said, motioning toward the living room sofa. “What do you know?” she asked after he was seated.

“Everything that's out. I read a lot of stuff on the Internet. I don't know what's true and what's not.”

She sighed, debating how much she should share. “Well, it's true that I have a son I gave up for adoption,” she said.

“But I don't understand. You're such a good mom. You seem like you like kids. Why would you give yours away?”

“I love kids,” she replied. “It's just that the circumstances, they were very different.”

“Was it true that you were . . .” His words trailed off as if he couldn't bear to finish the sentence.

“Raped?” she finished for him. She nodded. “Yes. By someone I knew and trusted. But my parents made the decision to give my child up.”

“So if it was up to you, would you have kept him?”

Nobody had ever asked her that question before and she didn't know the answer. Until the point that she brought Jamal into this world, she would've said no. But the minute she gave birth to him, a part of her longed for him.

“I don't know the answer to that,” Kay responded.

Ryan's face was blanketed with confusion. “My mom left me through death and it left a hole in me . . .” He paused. “I hope I don't make you mad by saying this.”

“No, of course, you can speak freely.” That was one of the things that they never talked about, Ryan's mother. Whenever Kay or Phillip tried to broach the topic, Ryan would change the subject and start talking about something else.

“It left a hole in me that no amount of love from anyone else can fill,” Ryan continued. “So I can only imagine how someone feels to know that their mother just gave them up. And I know the stuff I read said he shot a cop, but from what I saw, it was an accident. I also know you don't really like bad kids, but I can't help but wonder if your son had stayed with you, would he have turned out different. I know you and Dad like to say I'm a good kid, and I am, well, except
for the whole making drugs thing, but I'm good because I was raised by two good people. That can make a big difference.”

Kay sat in silence for a moment. The rightness of everything Ryan and Gloria had said was weighing on her. “You've given me some food for thought. You really are an intelligent young man.”

Even though he smiled, a blanket of shame covered his face and he lowered his head. “I'm sorry I let you down.”

She lifted his chin. “Your father and I have never been more disappointed in you but we know that you're a good kid.”

“Dad is so mad at me.”

They'd taken away his computer privileges and grounded him, which was difficult because it was not like he ever wanted to do anything anyway.

“Why did you do it, Ryan?” She hoped this rare moment of openness would give her the answers she and Phillip hadn't been able to get since he got expelled.

Ryan let out a defeated sigh. “I was trying to fit in. I was just playing around with some formulas and came up with a less potent dosage of X. I knew it was wrong, but I told someone, who told someone, and next thing I know, people were asking for it and I started getting popular.”

“But you are the one always talking about you're a self-proclaimed nerd.”

“Yeah, that's usually what nerds say to make themselves feel better,” he said. “I'm just grateful for a second chance. You don't ever have to worry about me getting in trouble again.”

“I hope not, Ryan. Because you not only let us down, you let yourself down.”

“I'm lucky to get a second chance, aren't I, Mom?”

She nodded. “You sure are.”

“Maybe Jamal deserves one, too.”

She hesitated, unsure of where that came from. “You and Jamal are different,” she replied.

“We are. He's your
real
son. I'm your
step
son. If you have enough love for me, you can have enough love for him. Face your past and I bet you can learn to love him, too.” He looked at her, then stood and walked off.

“He's wise beyond his years.”

Kay turned around to see Phillip standing in the doorway. She hadn't even realized that he'd come in.

“He is.”

Phillip walked over, kissed her on the cheek, then sat next to her on the sofa.

“I heard him talking about learning from his mistakes. You think he has?” Phillip said.

“I really think so. He feels awful about what happened.”

“I just don't understand why. We gave that boy everything,” Phillip said.

“Maybe that's the problem.” They sat in silence for a few minutes, then Kay said, “Do you think what he said is true, that Jamal deserves a second chance as well?”

“Yes. He's a good kid who got caught up in a bad situation,” Phillip said. “I hope they find a good attorney.”

Kay turned to face her husband. In that moment, she decided to go against every ethical thing she'd ever done.

“Phillip, this doesn't need to go to court,” Kay said. “That boy's life has been turned upside down. Get them to settle on reduced charges, with time served.”

“I'm not representing them anymore,” he said.

She took his hands. “I know what you're trying to do and I appreciate it, I really do. But this isn't about me, or you, or even Elton. He's going to have to pay, but his karma will be dealt with by a higher power. Jamal doesn't need to have his life ruined. Call Gloria and tell her you're back on the case.”

“Are you sure?”

“I've never been more sure of anything.”

She saw relief fill his eyes. “I love you, you know that?” he said.

“I love you, and you'll be happy to know this whole situation has opened my eyes to a lot of things.”

“So, when you become mayor you'll remember all of this?” he asked as he pulled her into a hug.

She smiled. “You think I still I have a shot?”

“I know you do. You're Kay Christiansen, Superwoman.”

She snuggled closer. “Right now, I just want to be regular old Kay.” Her phone had been blowing up after the debate. Much to Marty's chagrin, his revelation hadn't had as much of a negative effect as he would've liked. Yes, she'd dropped some in the polls, but she was still leading him by three points.

Phillip grabbed the remote. “Then I have the perfect solution. No more work tonight.” He picked up the remote and flipped the TV on. “Let's pop some popcorn and find a movie to watch. You know there's a Tyler Perry marathon playing on one of these channels.”

Kay laid her head on Phillip's shoulder and for the first time in months, pushed everything out of her mind and just enjoyed a quiet moment with her husband.

55

S
he'd survived the debate. She was handling the media scrutiny. Yet Kay still felt a pang inside her soul. And at the core of what she was feeling was the son she gave away.

Face the past.

Ryan's words rang in her head. It was funny. Her fifteen-year-old gave her the wisest words of all.

Kay needed to deal with her demons so she could pull herself together. If she had any hopes of not only winning the election but moving on with her life, she needed to face the past.

And she was facing it with Gloria at her side.

Kay knew Gloria had been shocked to get the call yesterday asking if Kay could go see Jamal. Not only had Gloria said yes, but she'd offered to come along since she said Jamal knew and might still be angry. So now the two of them sat together once again. But this time they both were nervous. They'd lived a lifetime of deception and it was time to face the consequences.

The clank of heavy metal signaled the arrival of Jamal. They
turned to the door as a guard guided him in. Kay couldn't help but look at the shackles. Usually the sight didn't bother her. But today she wanted to say, “Are those really necessary?” Yet she remained silent.

“Hi, sweetie.” Gloria stood to hug Jamal. Before the guard could stop her, he ducked out of her reach. The move caused her face to fill with pain and for a moment, Kay's heart went out to her.

Gloria slid back down into her seat as Jamal glared at Kay. He didn't look at Gloria as he sat down.

“So, it's true?” was all he said.

Kay didn't know how she was supposed to answer that. How did she tell her son that she'd given him up without a fight?

Gloria leaned forward. “Let us explain.”

Jamal looked at her, his words hard, his tone dry. “No disrespect, Ma, or rather, Gloria, but I think you've given me enough lies to last me the rest of my life. So if you don't mind”—he turned and glared at Kay—“I'd like my
real
mother to tell me the truth. You are my real mother, right?”

Kay didn't know what to say.

Jamal choked back his words. “You
are
my real mother, right?” He pounded the table.

“Hey, hey, hey!” the guard said, causing Jamal to take a deep breath, then lean back and wait for her answer.

“Gloria is your real mother in every sense of the word,” Kay said.

“Did you give birth to me?” he snarled.

Kay nodded.

“Wow.” He released a pained laugh. “So, my daddy really did get another woman pregnant. The good minister got another woman pregnant,” he repeated as if he was still trying to process the news.
“Where is good ol' daddy?” Jamal said, finally looking at Gloria. “He didn't have a self-righteous speech he wanted to come give me?”

“Jamal, I understand you're bitter,” Gloria began.

“You don't understand anything!” he snapped. “I have spent my life wondering what I did to that man to make him hate me.”

“He didn't hate you.”

Kay was stunned by that revelation. Elton had had the audacity to hold a grudge against his son?

“Now I find out all I did was be born?” Jamal continued. “He despised me because I brought shame to him? He's the one who got a woman other than his wife pregnant, but
I
brought shame?”

“He loves you,” Gloria said, her voice shaking.

“Kinda like he loved little teenage girls?” His words made Kay cringe. She felt like she should interject, but she would never come to the defense of Elton Jones.

“Yeah, I read the paper,” Jamal continued. “Everybody's talking about it. What are the odds? The cop-killing kid was being prosecuted by the mother that gave him up for adoption after being raped by her pastor. That sounds like some jacked-up B-movie.”

“Jamal . . .” Gloria said.

“No!” he yelled, eliciting another piercing glare from the guard. “Why isn't he here? Why hasn't Dad been to see me? He's a coward, that's why.”

“Your father made mistakes. But he loves you,” Gloria said. Kay could tell that she was now just saying words to try to ease Jamal's anger.

“That's what I was. A constant reminder of his sin.” Jamal laughed. “That's why he hated me.” Before Gloria could say anything else, Jamal spun in Kay's direction. “Why are
you
here?”

“I just . . . I don't know.”

“Me, either. I read the newspaper. You living it up in a life of luxury, raising a stepson while pretending your real son doesn't exist.” His words were soaked with hatred and each syllable dug into Kay's soul.

“Y-you don't understand what it was like . . .” Kay stammered.

“How do you know I don't know what it's like to be raped?” He sneered. “I'm fresh meat in a jail full of criminals.”

Gloria let out a muffled cry and Kay felt a pang in her heart.

“Jamal, just—”

His voice quivered. “I've felt out of place for years. I didn't know why. I thought I was going crazy. If my God-fearing parents had just been honest, maybe I wouldn't have spent years torturing myself.”

“Jamal, I'm so—”

“You!” His words caused Gloria to jump back. “You don't get to talk to me. I'm tired of the adults in my life lying to me. My daddy is a rapist. My biological mother is a coward. And the woman that raised me is a liar. I'm freakin' doomed.”

“Jamal . . .”

He scooted back, knocking over the chair as he stood. “Matter of fact, let me up outta here!” He made his way to the door, but then stopped and turned back to face them. “Don't come back here. Either one of you. My whole existence has been a lie. I'ma tell my attorney to take a plea. I'd rather rot in here than see either one of you again.”

Kay didn't realize she was trembling as he walked out. She knew he was hurt, but she never imagined the toll it would take on him. She felt horrible that all this time, as she'd thought about what having him did to
her,
she'd never considered what giving up Jamal had done to
him
.

56

G
loria felt a myriad of emotions. Relief, nervousness, fear. She looked to her left and seeing Phillip gave her strength.

The visit with Jamal had left her in a pit of despair. But the call from Phillip had lifted her spirits.

She'd been ecstatic when he'd told her that if they would have him, he'd be honored to get back on the case. He apologized to her for abandoning them.

From there he'd gone to work. He'd spent the last three days wheeling and dealing. She told him any deal that would give Jamal the least amount of jail time, she was all for. And they thought they'd found it, reaching a deal with the prosecutor for Involuntary Manslaughter.

“So, are all the parties here?” Judge Raymond asked. Harold, the former second chair, stood.

“We are, Your Honor.”

Gloria sat behind Phillip and Jamal on the opposite side of the courtroom. It pained her that Jamal didn't look her way, but she
knew getting over her betrayal would take him some time. But she had nothing but time. She would love him past his pain. And no matter how cold he acted, how angry he got, she'd never give up.

“Will the defendant please rise?” Judge Raymond said. “Jamal Jones, it is my understanding that you have accepted Involuntary Manslaughter charges?”

“Yes, Your Honor,” he said.

Judge Raymond looked over at Harold. “And what is the state's position?”

“Your Honor, the state is willing to accept the charge,” Harold replied. He seemed relieved that the case wasn't going to court.

“Fine. I will review the case and come up with an appropriate sentence. In the meantime, I will allow the defendant to be released on bail until sentencing. Bail is set at one hundred thousand dollars.”

“What?” Gloria exclaimed.

“Your Honor,” Phillip began. They had expected bail at no more than $20,000 and Gloria was prepared with the ten percent. But she had no idea where she'd get another $8,000.

“Yes, Counselor?” Judge Raymond said.

“I implore you to reconsider the bail amount. My client is not from a wealthy family and would be hard-pressed to come up with that bail.”

“Counselor, have you forgotten that a police officer is dead? Regardless of the why, he's dead, and his family would not appreciate such a meager bail. So my order stands. If the defendant cannot make bail he shall remain in the state's custody until he can.”

“He can make it.”

They all turned to see Elton standing in the back of the room.

“We can post the bail,” Elton said. “I will put our house up, whatever it takes.”

Relief filled Gloria's body. Jamal even looked shocked. “Okay,” the judge said. “Then it's settled. We'll see all parties back here in a week for sentencing.”

She banged her gavel, dismissing them.

Gloria jumped up and wrapped her arms around Jamal's neck. He nodded but didn't reply. His eyes were no longer on her, though. He was looking at his father.

Gloria looked over her shoulder as a teary-eyed Elton eased out through the courtroom door. She didn't know what the future held for them, or even if they had a future. She knew the road to healing would be a long and treacherous one. But Elton needed to heal himself first. They'd never be a family again, that much she knew, but maybe they could mend some of the damage they'd caused. She shook off all thoughts of Elton and turned to Phillip.

“Okay, what do I need to do? I just want to get my baby out of here.”

Phillip smiled at both of them. “Jamal, just hang on a few more hours. We're going to work on getting your bond posted, then we'll work on getting you home.”

That made him lose his smile. “I'm not going back to Jasper,” he said.

Gloria stepped toward him. She already knew they couldn't go back there. Between the cops out for blood, the gossiping church members, and Elton, there was nothing for Gloria or Jamal in ­Jasper.

“Don't worry, honey. Mama has it all taken care of. Today—as soon as you're released—you and I will begin the rest of our lives.”