Read Make Mine a Ranger (Special Ops: Homefront Book 4) Online
Authors: Kate Aster
“You’re sure?”
“Positive. I told him I’d pull his blood
out with a turkey baster. Don’t think he cared much for the imagery.” Tyler
pulled his uniform shirt off, revealing a t-shirt underneath, and draped it
over Bess’s shoulders. “Even if Abby wasn’t his kid, he thought he could scare
some cash out of you. Blackmail. He saw those pictures of you at the wedding
and remembered the waterfront house and must have thought you came into some
money or had friends you could tap for cash. He hoped you might pay him off so
that he wouldn’t spill the beans to me. Guess he thought I was the type that
might bail.” He grinned. “But I don’t walk away that easily.”
Bess smiled, barely, and shook her head.
“No. No you don’t.”
“You don’t seem happy about it, Bess.”
Bess’s shoulders slumped. “I’m afraid,
Tyler. Afraid to be happy. I feel like he’ll always be lurking in the background
in my life.”
“He won’t be. There’s no way a slug like
him wants to be stuck paying child support, Bess. If you had seen his face,
you’d be convinced of that. Be happy, Bess. You’re free of this guy.”
She turned to him and gazed into his eyes.
“You’re really sure?”
“I am. Look, you might think that Abby is
a reason for him to stay in your life. But he sees Abby as a reason to stay the
hell away from you. He doesn’t want anything to do with her, Bess. He doesn’t
want her.”
Relief seeped into Bess’s heart. It made
sense. Dan didn’t see Abby as the precious gift she was. He didn’t want to be
saddled with any responsibilities that came from a kid he never wanted. But
could she dare to be happy right now, after living in fear for so many years?
“He doesn’t want her,” Tyler repeated,
pulling her into his arms. “But I do.” He paused, seeming surprised to hear the
words that had come from his mouth. “I could adopt Abby, Bess. I love that
little girl with all my heart. You know that. I could marry you and adopt her. We
could be a family.”
“What?” Stunned, Bess pulled away slightly
from his hold just to look at him, all of him—his eyes, his face, his
body language.
“We could be a family. The three of
us. We pretty much are already, you know. You wouldn’t have to work so hard. We
could move down to Savannah next year when I return to the Rangers. There are a
couple good culinary schools down there. I checked. Abby could go to day care
right on base. It’d be a good life, Bess. We might not be living on the water
right away, but I swear to you I’d never let you down.”
The sting of tears filled her eyes. There
was sincerity in the offer. She could sense it, see it in his expression. But
something was missing. “Tyler. That’s the nicest offer I’ve ever had in my life.
Seriously. But—”
He pressed a finger to her lips. “No
buts. Just say yes. Say yes and we can tell Abby tonight that she can start calling
me ‘Dad.’ Do you know how happy that would make me?”
“I know. I know how much you love her,
Tyler. It’s just—you don’t have to marry me just to know she’ll always be
in your life. I’d never stand in between you two.” Her heart ached—not
the feeling she would have expected after receiving a marriage proposal from a
man she desperately loved.
“I’m not asking you to marry me just to
keep her in my life, Bess.”
Her gut twisted, resisting temptation. “Tyler,
it’s a generous offer,” she finally said. “But—”
Standing, he shrugged. “Well, just an
idea. Something to think about,” he said, cutting off what she had wanted to
say.
But I love you too much to see you
settle.
But I want someone to marry me because he
loves me as much as he loves my little girl.
But you’ve never even told me that you
love me.
Was she being selfless, protecting him
from being trapped in a marriage only to be the father of her little girl?
Or was she being selfish, holding out for
a time when a man might propose with as much love in his eyes for her, as her
best friends had from their husbands?
“I’ll go pick up Abby,” he said, leaving
her on the dock by herself, alone with her tears.
***
Tyler climbed into his car, feeling a
dull ache in his gut. He had never proposed to a woman before, but he had sat
through enough chick flicks to know that it wasn’t supposed to go like that. Bess
was supposed to be dripping in happy tears, texting her friends, and
envisioning herself in white. Instead, she had looked at him like he had just
sprouted a third eye in the middle of his forehead.
What the hell?
He hadn’t expected the proposal to slip
from his mouth today. Sure, the idea had been brewing in his head the past few
weeks. But sitting on the dock with her, with that miserable asshole finally
out of their lives, it just seemed like the appropriate time.
Pulling into Edith’s driveway, he paused
momentarily before getting out of the car. So Bess didn’t think marriage was a
good idea right now. Fine. He could deal with that. It had taken him two tries
to get through Ranger school. The first time he had broken his ankle in two
places watching it swell to three times its size. It had killed him to have to
pull out at the time. But he wasn’t given a choice.
He went back for seconds the first chance
he had. And that time, he made it through.
So if it took another try to convince
Bess to be a family with him, then so be it. He never shied away from a
challenge.
He walked up to Edith’s door and gave a
little rap.
Edith greeted him with her usual easy
smile. “Tyler, dear. Come in. Abby’s still sound asleep from her nap. We had a
playdate with the little girl across the street and she exhausted herself. How
did things go with Dan?”
“Mission accomplished. He won’t be
bothering her again.”
She hugged him. “Well done, Tyler. Want
me to wake Abby?”
Tyler opened his mouth to answer, but
then snapped it shut. He could wake Abby up and be on his way in the next few
minutes.
Or not.
“Um, can I ask you something, Mrs. B?”
“Of course. Want me to make you some tea?
Or warm apple cider? It’s finally the season for that, you know.”
“No. But I could use some advice.” He
nearly cringed as he said it. What was he doing? He had only shared a few meals
and about a dozen conversations with Edith. There had to be someone better he
could ask. But if he asked his mother how to convince a woman to marry him,
she’d be picking out china patterns for him by the end of the day.
Edith might be his best hope.
“Sit down, dear.” She gestured as they
walked to the couch.
The view from Edith’s living room window caught
Tyler’s eye briefly. The Bay was calm, unlike his heart right now. “I, uh, just
asked Bess to marry me.”
Edith’s eyes opened wide. “Really. Just
this evening?”
“Yeah, I, uh, did.”
She looked wary, probably noticing he
didn’t look like a man who was newly engaged. “And what did she say?”
Tyler furrowed his brow, trying to recall
her exact words, but failing. “Nothing resembling a ‘yes.’”
She eased back into the couch. “How
curious.”
“Why curious?” Tyler asked, daring to
feel a faint glimmer of hope.
“Well, I don’t think it would be wrong
for me to tell you that she’s been so happy since you came into her life, Tyler.”
Tyler heaved a sigh of relief. At least
she wasn’t telling him he didn’t stand a chance. “The thing is, I really love
her and Abby, Mrs. B. And I think she feels the same about me. I know I’m just
an Army guy and not really the prince that women fantasize about, but I know I
could give them both a good life.”
“I wouldn’t undersell yourself, Tyler. You’re
an excellent catch for any woman.”
“So, uh, why would she say no?”
“Well,” she began, crossing her arms in
front of her chest, “tell me how the conversation went.”
Tyler relayed their conversation on the
dock as best he could remember through the haze of rejection.
A smile edged up one side of Edith’s
mouth when Tyler was finished. “She must really love you, Tyler. I hadn’t
realized how much.”
“Huh?”
“Well, any other woman in her position
would have jumped at the offer. But I’m betting she loves you too much for
that.”
“Ma’am, you’ve lost me.”
Edith laughed. “Think about what you said
to her. You said you love her daughter, but did you tell her you love her?”
“She knows I love her.” His forehead
creased as he tried to recall a moment when he had actually uttered those words
to her, and came up dry.
Crap
. How the hell had he let that happen? But
she
had
to know he loved her. Couldn’t she see it in his actions as much
as she might hear it in three little words? “It’s kind of hard saying those
things with Abby around. We’ve been trying to keep it from her, you know?” Okay,
so it was a lame excuse, but it would have to do.
“Well, then. She’s probably thinking you
want more to be Abby’s father than her husband. Is she right?”
Was she? If Abby were out of the picture,
would he still want to marry Bess?
Hell, yeah.
Edith sighed, tapping his knee. “Let me
tell you a story about a friend of mine, Tyler. A friend from many years ago. Back
in those days, we were taught to keep our buttons buttoned and our zippers
zipped, you know. Of course, there were some who were the rebels back then. But
not in my circle of friends. We were the good girls, you see. But every once in
a while, one of us would slip. It happened to my friend.”
Pressing her lips together thoughtfully,
she stood, walking up to the window in time to catch a glimpse of a seagull slicing
low across the sky. “We were in college, and she found herself pregnant. Of
course, back then, you got married if that happened. Well, if you were lucky,
you did. And she did get lucky. He married her. It wasn’t a romantic proposal
he made at all, but it was enough to get the job done.”
Tyler stood to join her at the window,
wondering where this story was headed.
“Two months later, my friend miscarried. It
devastated both of them. They had so wanted that child. She grieved for so
long—but not just because she had lost her baby. She thought she had lost
her husband. She was convinced that he had only married her because she had
been pregnant. Then for years later, they tried to conceive another child and
never did. She felt like she had trapped him in a marriage he didn’t want. It
took a long time for him to convince her otherwise.”
He stared at her, curiosity piquing. “A
friend, huh?” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud. “I’m sorry,” he quickly said.
“Not my business.”
Edith smiled, her eyes filled with
secrets that spanned decades. “A close friend. But don’t worry. They had their
happily ever after eventually. And it was well worth waiting for.” She rested
her arm on his shoulder. “So the only question is, are you going to have
yours?”
He looked out at the tiny ripples on the
water, sparkling in the low autumn sun. “You think Bess needs convincing that I
love her for
her
, not just because she’s Abby’s mom.”
Giving a nod, she cocked her head to the
side, her eyes looking strikingly youthful despite her age. “Sounds like a fine
challenge for a Ranger like you. Think you’re up to it?”
He grinned. “Rangers lead the way.”
Nothing had changed between them, Bess
reminded herself.
Tyler had assured her of that at least
five times the past week. And from the way he was acting—seemingly
content with the situation—she decided that her rejection of his marriage
proposal was definitely the best thing for him. Even if it had broken her heart.
How tempting it had been to say “yes.”
Life had continued as usual in the house,
and Bess was too tired to even feel awkward about anything. Abby came down with
a cold early in the week, bouncing back to her usual self again within a few
days. Then Bess busied herself cleaning and cooking and preparing for the fifty
or so people who would be coming over for a barbeque on Friday following
Tyler’s promotion ceremony.
“I really wish you hadn’t gone to so much
trouble, Bess,” Tyler said, snapping Abby into the car seat.
Bess had literally just pulled the last batch
of pumpkin cookies out of the oven five minutes ago. She had taken the day off
work to prepare for the party, which might have been overkill, but she’d latch
onto any excuse to not spend such a sunny day trapped in a dental office.
“I love cooking. You know that,” she said
casually.
And I’d do anything for you. Even stop you from marrying someone
you don’t truly love.
What would it have been like, going to
this ceremony if she had accepted his proposal? She’d be attending as his
fiancée, not just his friend. Abby would have remembered this day as the day
she hooked her dad’s Captain’s bars onto his uniform. Mick and Lacey, and Joe
and Vi would be there to share in their joy. Even Edith was attending today. The
only people absent were Maeve and Jack who had a bit of a harder time driving
up here on a whim now that they had two kids.
It could have been such a memory for Abby
and her. But now, Bess would always remember this day as the day she hooked Captain’s
bars on the man she loved with a fierce devotion—loved enough to let him
go.
Wearing a new green dress that she never
would have been able to fit into three months ago, Bess was feeling pretty good
about herself, despite the dull ache in her chest. She flattened her dress out
across her thighs nervously.
“You okay?” Tyler asked.
“I’m fine. Just hoping I don’t make a
fool of myself.” Last night, they had practiced what would happen. It was a
pretty brief ceremony. The Adjutant would read the promotion orders and then
Bess would remove Tyler’s old first lieutenant shoulder board with the one silver
bar on it, and fasten the new one on with the two silver bars signifying him as
a Captain. Then she’d lift Abby up so that she could do the same to his other
shoulder board. They’d stay by his side while he gave a short speech, and then
the ceremony was over.
Short and sweet. Surely she could survive
that, couldn’t she?
“You’ll be fine,” he assured her,
touching her knee briefly. The sensation shot through her like a streak of
lightning, singeing her heart. His touches hadn’t been as frequent these past
several days, and she could certainly understand why. He was probably trying to
figure out where things stood between the two of them, the same as she was. “It’s
not like a Change of Command or something,” he continued. “This is a pretty
casual ceremony.”
“If it’s so casual, why are you wearing
your dress uniform?”
He lowered his voice slightly. “Because I
know what it does to you,” he answered her cryptically, stealing a glance at
Abby in the rear view mirror as she obliviously looked out the window.
The tiny hairs on Bess’s arms stood on
end. That was the first remotely sexual thing he had said to her in days. Maybe
his final months here wouldn’t be quite as awkward as she had thought.
After a short drive, they arrived on base
and found a small crowd had already gathered at the historical tanks in front
of the Fort Meade Museum. Not a cloud was in the sky, and the air was warm even
though the leaves had started to fall.
Bess hugged Lacey as soon as she spotted
her.
“How are you holding up, Bess?” Lacey
asked when she was out of earshot of anyone else. Bess had told Lacey and Maeve
what had happened the evening Tyler proposed.
“I’m fine. Really. Still confused, but
fine.”
Mick swooped in and laced his fingers
with his wife’s as they all gathered on the lawn. Joe had his arm around Vi’s
shoulder, despite the fact that he was in uniform. Bess felt a hint of jealousy
creep into her heart, and she hated the feeling. Her friends’ romances might
have spoiled her for reality. Bess had actually heard Mick’s proposal to Lacey on
the front porch the day he returned from Afghanistan. Bess and Maeve had been
sitting on the other side of the open window that day listening with
tear-filled eyes.
Jack’s proposal to Maeve had been no less
romantic, but it was two days later when she finally agreed to marry him, waist-deep
in the chilly waters of the Severn River with boaters blaring their horns in
reaction to their romantic embrace. Bess had heard the story from Maeve too
many times to count.
Then there was Vi. Bess got chills even
from the memory of the day Joe had surprised her with a ring in Maeve’s
backyard, after travelling from the Philippines. And the moment when Joe had said
goodbye to Vi in the airport before he deployed—which had been recorded
on a few smartphones by curious onlookers—was still going viral, even
more than a year later.
Yep, the bar had been raised pretty high
by the husbands of her best friends. And even though Bess never thought in a
million years she’d have a moment as romantic as theirs, she couldn’t dare say “yes”
to a proposal made to her out of some sense of obligation or duty or need.
Tyler took her hand and pulled her to the
front of the crowd. Bess never liked being at the center of attention, and
today was no different. She kept reminding herself that no one was looking at
her. This was Tyler’s day. Holding Abby with her free hand, she stood at his
side, proud to be there, yet somehow feeling a sense of loss for what might
have been.
They could have been standing here as a family
right now. She swallowed the lump in her throat and forced a smile.
A hush fell over the crowd as Tyler stood
at attention.
“Attention to orders: the President of
the United States has reposed special trust and confidence in the patriotism,
valor, fidelity, and abilities of First Lieutenant Tyler Griffon…” the Adjutant
began.
Special trust and confidence, Bess
thought, the words striking her deeply. There could be no man Bess would trust
more than Tyler. Her mind flashed back to the moment when Tyler first held Abby
in his arms in the hospital. How terrified Bess had been to let him hold her
precious, fragile child. Yet she had somehow known instinctively, even then,
that he would be her daughter’s protector.
“In view of these qualities…” the Adjutant
continued as Bess’s eyes were locked on Tyler standing next to her.
How long had she been in love with him? She
couldn’t even recall an exact moment when she had known. Maybe love doesn’t
always come on like a thunderclap or lightning bolt. Maybe sometimes it’s a
gentle rain that sustains over a long, long time.
Maybe it would be that way with Tyler, if
his love for her might build slowly till the day when he could look at her with
the same love in his eyes that she had for him.
She’d hold out for that day. Holding her
breath all the way if she had to.
“…he is therefore promoted to the rank of
Captain, United States Army.”
Bess’s breath caught, hearing her cue. She
turned to him and, hands shaking, removed a shoulder board and replaced it with
the new one. Her heart swelled suddenly, being a part of such a significant
moment for him. She was so proud of all he had accomplished, all he had done
for his country. All he had done for her and Abby.
Smiling at her beaming daughter, she scooped
her into her arms as they had rehearsed, and Abby slipped the new shoulder
board over the hooks of his jacket like a seasoned pro.
The crowd applauded. And in response,
Abby cheered and jumped with glee after Bess set her on the ground, hamming it
up in front of the many cameras and phones that were recording Tyler’s first
moments as a U.S. Army Captain.
Pulling out a sheet of paper, Tyler
looked down at the words of his speech. Bess stepped slightly away from him,
wanting this moment to be his alone.
“I had a speech all prepared thanking the
many commanders who have mentored me over the years,” he gave a nod to Mick,
“and to my fellow Rangers and Soldiers.” Shaking his head, he balled up the
paper in his fist. “But it just doesn’t seem to be what I want to say anymore.”
Bess furrowed her brow, wondering what
was wrong. For a man who had just crinkled up the speech he had been practicing
for three days now, he looked way too happy.
Tyler looked up from the wad of paper he
held in his hand. “There’s this memory I had while I was getting my Captain’s
bars put on just now. It was about a year ago while I was on a Ranger mission,
the one that earned me my second Purple Heart. I can’t say much about it, of
course, but I can tell you I got a hell of a scar out of the deal, shrapnel in
my hip, and a good chunk blown off my calf. It hurt worse than anything I’d
ever felt in my life—and I’d actually been shot once before. But this one
was wicked. I was pinned down behind a Humvee, and I really didn’t think I’d
make it.”
Bess looked at him curiously. He had
never shared this story with her.
“They say that sometimes right before you
die, you see the face of someone you love,” he continued. “You know, your wife
or girlfriend. Or maybe your parents. Well, I saw a face, and it surprised the
hell out of me. Because it was this lady’s face right here.” He touched Bess’s
arm. “Bess Foster. I didn’t know her especially well back then, so looking
back, I thought it was pretty weird that I saw her face like that. But as I was
lying there, watching my blood spill into the sand, I was remembering the day
she gave birth to her beautiful daughter here. And she might hate me sharing
this, but the sounds I heard coming from her delivery room—well,” he
glanced at Abby, “considering present company, I’ll just leave it to your
imagination. And then when I saw her, a single mom, holding her baby in her
arms for the first time and knowing she’d never let that child want for
anything, I thought, ‘That’s courage.’ And so lying there, bleeding out, I
somehow ignored the pain and found the courage to crawl to safety.”
His eyes met Bess’s. “I never told her
that story, ’cause frankly it was strange to me to see the face of some woman I
had maybe only seen four or five times and traded a few emails with. And the
girl I was dating at the time would have probably been pretty ticked off to
hear it.”
The crowd laughed.
“But I wanted to tell her now, in front
of all of you, because that was the first time Bess Foster became really
important in my life.”
Feeling the tears in her eyes, Bess’s
gaze dropped self-consciously to the ground.
“You see, I had always been wild about this
cute little girl she has. High five, Abby,” he said, and the little girl
slapped her hand against his. “But I kind of overlooked Bess for too long. Way
too long. Then over the time we spent together recently, I realized that she pretty
much embodies every principle that I believe in. Every principle that’s gotten
me these Captain’s bars on my shoulders. And those of you in uniform might
recognize a few, because we talk about them a lot. Courage. Yeah, already
covered that, so I won’t tell you more graphic details about the delivery room.”
Bess laughed along with the crowd.
“But also honor, integrity, commitment,
loyalty. She’s all those things. But that’s not why I’m in love with her
either.”
He turned to her, taking her hand, and
Bess felt a wave of goosebumps cover her skin.
“And yeah, Bess, I’m madly in love with
you. I’m in love with you because you are the first person I want to see when
my eyes open in the morning, and the last person I want to see when I close my
eyes at night. And if I had my way, every minute in between would be spent
hearing your laughter. Seeing you smile. And yeah, eating your beef bourguignon
because it really is that good. It’s that way now, and it will never change.”
He went down on one knee, and Bess heard more
than a few gasps in the crowd. Lacey’s. Vi’s. Edith’s.
And her own—definitely her own gasp,
as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“I love you, Bess. I don’t want to—I
can’t
imagine my life without you,” Tyler said, his voice hitching as he
reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring. “So, Bess Foster, will you do me
the honor of marrying me?”
Her heart warmed at the love she saw in
Tyler’s eyes. Love for
her
. Not obligation, not duty, not a ploy to keep
her daughter in his life. He loved
her
.
“Yes, Tyler. Yes, I will marry you,” she
cried through her tears, too overcome by emotion to even mind all the eyes on
her right now, watching her fall apart at the seams.