Make Me Forget (17 page)

“Fuck,” I hear Travis whisper.

“Not because he was forcing me, but because I felt like I was cheating on you. Even though we were never officially together, and I lied to you, I still felt like I belonged to you.”

“You do belong to me.”

I smile. “I know that now, but back then, I was stupid, naive, desperate; pick an adjective. The first time he tried, Mom was really sick, and I was so tired. I cried after I pushed him away because I was so confused. I told him all about you. I missed you, but the comfort he gave me confused the shit out of me. He…”

“What? He what?” Travis’ voice rises, and I can see by the lines around his eyes his temper is starting to flare up.

“He told me how there’s no way I’d have a chance with you, and you’d already moved on because I was so far away. Long distance doesn’t work, and if you really wanted to have anything to do with me, you would have come to see me.”

“Fucking motherfucker.” Travis’ jaw clenches, but the words manage to come out.

“Please, let me finish.” I have to get this out now; I have to free myself of this. “I believed him, Travis. He was so convincing. So, one thing led to another, and the next thing I know, he was paying my bills and fucking me every Friday. I allowed him to do this, I allowed myself to be a whore, and I allowed him to do deplorable things to me.”

“Did he hurt you?” Anger still at the forefront, but there’s a softness to him when he asks.

“No. Not in the way you’re thinking. He was some type of wannabe Dom. He was also married and had a twelve-year-old daughter. His wife didn’t know about his fetish, and I was there to fulfil it.”

I remember seeing the picture of his wife and daughter on his desk when I was in his office for an appointment with my mom. His daughter looks just like him, curly blond hair, green eyes. “I know it’s disgusting. I don’t blame you if you want me to leave.”

19

Travis

“Excuse me?” I have to ask to make sure I heard her right.

“I said I don’t blame you if you want me to leave.”

Yup, I heard right. “After I tell you I fucking love you. Really, Charlotte?”

“It’s deplorable what I did!” She hangs her head in shame, and I get up from the bed.

I can’t believe we’re having this fucking conversation again. This girl is going to give me a heart attack.

First, she ran away and scared the shit out of me. Then she gave me the best blowjob of my life. I felt like I was going to pass out, it was that good. When she told me about that fucker, I was torn in two pieces. One part of me wanted to leave her to go find him and rip his fucking head off, and the other part wanted to stay and hold her.

I need her to know I’m here for her. Now she’s telling me it’s okay if I don’t want to be with her. She’s giving me an out. Fuck that.

“You done?” I ask with a little more malice than intended.

Her eyebrows scrunch together. Even though I’m pissed she doubts me, I can’t help but smile at her confused expression.

“Done with what?”

“Your pity party?”

Her lips part and I continue before she can spew some more bullshit out of her mouth. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you had to go through what you did. I do not blame you, I do not think you’re disgusting or a whore, and I do not pity you.”

Understanding flashes in her eyes, and some of the sparkle that I fell in love with is shining through. “If you want to talk about it with me, I’m fine with that. If you want to only talk to a therapist, that’s fine, too. Whatever
you
need to move on. I will not pretend you didn’t go through some fucked-up shit, though. I’m sure you’ll have some things that upset you, especially when we make love.”

I search her face and when her eyes connect with mine, I finish. “You have to tell me what you’re feeling without being scared I’m not gonna want you anymore. Because that’s never fucking happening.” I lean down and kiss the top of her head then turn and stop in the doorway. “I’ll be in the kitchen making breakfast.”

I’m standing with the fridge open and haven’t even gotten the eggs out when small arms wrap around my waist and Char’s head rests between my shoulder blades. She’s already here.

“Thank you.” Her voice is muffled from behind me, but the meaning is clear. Finally, fucking finally, we can move on. I reach behind me and give her ass a squeeze before returning to grab the stuff I need from the fridge. We work together making breakfast – this time it’s pancakes and sausage.

She plays on her phone, and I pretend to check my e-mails. I can’t stop thinking about what she told me. I’m hit with a thought that makes my stomach turn and the pancakes taste like cardboard.

Me joking around saying I’m going to punish her.

Her freezing up and bolting away.

That motherfucker
punished
her.

I don't want to ruin anything, so I’m not bringing it up, not yet. I squeeze my hands into fists and slowly open and close them under the table until I’ve calmed down. Fuck me. She looks up at me and some of her hair falls over her eyes. I reach over and put it behind her ear.

“I’m glad you have your natural color back.” I rub the soft strands between my fingers.

She gives me a soft smile and says thank you. 

“What are your plans for today?” I ask.

“Nothing, really. I’m off until Wednesday then I work every night through Saturday.”

“Damn, I had someone stand by for me this morning, so I have to work until Thursday.” I was supposed to work this morning, but after what happened last night, one of my buddies offered to stay and cover for me until I could get there. I’m always at work, and cover for everyone as much as I can, so the guys can attend their kids functions. When I asked for a favor last night, they were not only shocked, but also happy to help me out.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Why didn’t you say anything? I don’t want you to get in trouble.” It’s cute that she’s worried about me getting in trouble, such a girl.

“It’s fine. I need to get there soon, and I have to stay until Thursday instead of Wednesday. Not a big deal.” I link my fingers together and put them behind my head, leaning back.

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, stop. It’s fine. Don’t apologize. We got everything sorted out, right?” Please let her say yes. I really don’t want anything else holding us back.

“Yeah. We did.” Her cheeks redden, and I know she’s thinking about what happened in the shower last night. Yeah, that was hot. I can’t wait to do it again, but I know even though she’s putting on this act as if she’s okay, she still has reservations. I’ll give her time, no problem. She can have all the time she needs as long as she’s taking it with me.

***

“Hey, man.” I bump fists with Pierce standing outside The Pub.

After I got off work this morning, I really wanted to go see Charlotte, but I knew she was working tonight. She told me she was taking a nap this afternoon in one of the seventy plus texts we’ve exchanged over the past few days. I didn’t want her to miss out on sleep because of me, so I went to the gym and did some laundry.

Plus, my mom has been bugging me to meet her for dinner, so we did that tonight. We talked a lot. She didn’t tell me what was said between her and Char, but she did tell me that she’s really proud of how Charlotte has moved on and is taking her life back. I was worried what Mom would say about how we met, but she didn’t bring it up. I’m hoping it never is brought up… ever. She gave me her support, like always.

Now, it’s about nine, and my palms are sweaty thinking about seeing Char again. I’m not nervous, just anxious. It’s been three days since I’ve touched her, and I’m itching to get my hands on her again. When I can see her, especially when I can hold her, I feel better. She makes me a better person.

“Everything good?” Pierce asks.

“Yeah. Real good.”

“About damn time,” he laughs. “She know you’re coming?”

I shrug. “I told her I’d try to stop by.” I may be in love with the girl, and I’d do anything for her, but I don’t want to seem like too much of a bitch. I’m sure she knows I wouldn’t miss seeing her on my only night off this week. I go back tomorrow morning and don’t get off until Monday.

“So, she knows you’re coming. Better get in there.” He nods toward the door, and I clap him on the back when I walk past him.

“Later, Pierce.”

When I get inside, my eyes fly straight to Charlotte. She hasn’t seen me yet, so I lean against the wall and watch as she serves a few guys in suits a pitcher of beer. They talk for a minute, and she laughs after listening to one of them whose hands are flying all over the place. He grabs her wrist, and I push off the wall, but a strong hand on my shoulder stops my movement.

“You gotta let her handle it,” Pierce says next to me.

“Fuck that.” I ball my fists.

His grip tightens.

“Watch. These guys are regulars, they’re not bad.”

And sure enough, she pats his hand, and he lets go. But I see it. I can see from here her eyes are filled with fear. Pierce is right. He didn’t grab her in a rough way. More of a
hey, isn’t that funny
sort of way. But, still, he touched her.

She goes over to Meara and says something before walking out and down the hallway that leads to the alley.

“That’s all you, man.” Pierce lets go and gives me a little push. No shit, like I need him to tell me to go after her.

Not intentionally, I sneak up on her. She’s got the back door propped open, and her arms are across her chest.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

She jumps and swings around, eyes wide with fear, softening when she recognizes me. “Holy crap, you scared me.”

“What’s going on?”

“Oh, I’m taking a break.” Her words are shaky, and I take the few steps until I reach her. Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her close.

“I missed you,” I say against her lips before kissing them softly.

At my words, her body relaxes, and she kisses me back, gentle, sweet. Just like her.

I pull her back and make her look at me. “Now, really, why are you back here? I saw that guy grab you.”

“Oh.” She avoids my eyes, and I can tell she’s fighting something.

“Yeah, and I know it bothered you and that’s why you’re out here. What I don’t know is why.”

She walks further outside and sits on a stack of pallets. Her feet dangle, and she watches them swing back and forth. “He would restrain me.”

Fuck.
I don’t move, but let her finish. My hands remain in my back pockets as I lean against the door. My stance says casual, but I’m fucking furious right now.

“It wasn’t against my will, but if I can’t move, or if someone grabs me, it brings up
stuff.
I’m getting better, but that caught me off guard. I needed a minute.” She takes a deep breath and rocks my world. “Especially now that you’re here, I feel safe.”

She hops off and walks inside, right past me. “Come on, I’ll get you a beer.”

With no choice but to follow, I reach her quickly, and she puts her hand out for me to grab, like it’s natural.

When we round the corner to the bar, I see it’s already picked up. The men’s softball team The Pub sponsors is here, and I tug on her arm a little before she walks behind the bar.

“I need you to kiss me, right now.”

“What? Why?”

“Now, Charlotte.”

She doesn’t hesitate, and lifts up on her toes and presses her lips to mine. I grab her ass to pull her closer, and she emits a small squeal as her arms wrap around my neck. I take all she allows until she pulls away panting.

“What was that for?” she asks breathless.

“Now all these fuckers know you’re mine. Go get me a beer, woman.” I give her a little shove, but she hardly moves, mouth hanging open. “Beer,” I repeat with a smirk on my face.

She shakes her head, laughing, and goes to the tap. I love that we can joke like we used to. I know she went through some traumatic things, but we need to at least try normal.

“Nice, man. That wasn’t obvious or anything,” Matt, one of the other bouncers, says next to me.

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” I laugh and take my beer from Char as she rolls her eyes at me.

“For now. What are you gonna do when a new group of guys come in? Drag her across the bar caveman style?” He’s joking, but he’s right.

I can’t be here with her all the time. I trust her; it’s the drunk idiots that think they can touch women after they’ve had a few that I worry about. Not only does it piss me off to think about someone else touching her, it concerns me because of what she’s been through.

“That’s what you guys are for. Watch her for me, alright?” I raise my glass at him, and he nods in understanding.

I talk a little more with Matt, and Meara comes over by me for a bit, too. Char’s eyes find mine a few times, and she smiles, reassuring me she’s really okay.

As the night drags on, I groan internally because I have to be up by six tomorrow. Finally, at almost two in the morning, Char walks around the bar and rubs my shoulders.

“I’m done. Meara’s closing up for me.”

“Good, I’m tired. Ready to leave?”

“Yeah,” she smiles shyly.

I get off the stool and wrap my arm around her shoulder. We say our goodbyes and go to the parking lot.

“Can you come to my place?” I ask. “I have to get up early.”

“Sure, I’ll follow you.”

***

Char is in my bed, and I have her pulled close. We got in bed right away, both of us exhausted.

“I like this,” she whispers.

“Me, too, sweetheart.” I kiss the top of her head and close my eyes. “Get some sleep.”

“Okay. Travis?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“You know I love you, too, right?”

I smile against her head. “I do now.”

She cuddles closer, and after only a couple minutes, her breathing evens out, and I know she’s fallen asleep. As tired as I am, I can’t sleep. Horrible images flash through my mind of her being tied up. He had better hope we never cross paths, because I will end him.

I hold her a little tighter and finally drift off.