Mahashweta (10 page)

A
nupama stepped onto the platform at Dadar railway station, feeling anxious and tense. She had never been to Bombay before, and was flabbergasted by the huge crowds. For a moment she wondered whether it had been a mistake to bank on Sumi’s help alone, now that she had decided to take such a big step. She had come to this unknown city with just a small suitcase of clothes and some of her favourite books. As she stood irresolute on the platform, she saw Sumi and felt waves of relief wash over her.

‘Sumi! I am so glad to see you. Bombay scares me.’

‘Which is why I thought I’d come to the station to receive you. I’m on leave today,’ Sumithra said as she led Anupama to board a local train.

Everything was new for Anupama—the language, the people, the sultriness of the air. . .everything. She stuck close to her friend until they reached Versova where Sumithra had a tiny single-bedroom apartment. Accustomed as she was to the wide-open spaces of the village, Anupama found the flat and its surroundings congested, although it had all the modern conveniences.

Sumithra worked six days a week, with Sunday off. Her husband was an engineer, and his weekly holiday was on Thursday. ‘Anu, you’ve stopped taking care of yourself in the three years since your wedding. Now that you are here, you must treat this as your home. I want you to relax here; we’ll look after you,’ Sumithra’s voice was charged with emotion.

Anupama was so overwhelmed by her friend’s affection that she could hardly speak. No one had spoken to her so tenderly for a long time.

‘Sumi, please try to get me a job as soon as possible. I have been idle for the last three years, and I am going mad. Appa has a lot of financial worries and I must take up a job so that I can support him.’

‘Don’t worry. I will talk to Hari. He will help you. Anu, isn’t it Anand’s duty to send you some money to support you? Can’t Dr Desai tell him this at least?’

‘Sumi, I do not want money from someone who doesn’t love me. God will provide for me. I have my education, and it will serve to feed me.’

‘Anu, your mother-in-law is so religious and godfearing. Doesn’t she know that these things will be useless if the basic quality of humanity is absent? How can she treat you so badly?’ Sumithra’s anger rose with every word, before Anupama calmed her down.

‘Sumi, let’s not talk about them. I want to look ahead rather than remain stuck in the past.’

‘Okay. What kind of a job do you want? You’re far too intelligent to be an ordinary clerk like me.’

‘Sumi, what I like or dislike is not important. I cannot afford to be choosy. Any job is fine by me!’

‘I feel terrible about this. You were so fond of plays and literature when we were studying. A person like you should be a lecturer in a college.’

Anupama laughed. ‘Forget all that now. My life has become a play now.’

They had their lunch and Anupama, who was tired after the journey, slept for a while. When she woke up, she heard Sumithra talking to her husband, Hari. She felt a little awkward because of her situation, but nevertheless greeted him with a smile.

‘Anu, this is Hari Prasad, that is, Mr Sumithra!’

Hari was surprised when he saw her. From Sumi’s description, he had imagined Anupama as an ordinary girl with white patches marring her face and body. But the girl he saw standing before him was breathtakingly beautiful; she was like a heavenly vision come down to earth. Compared to Anupama, Sumithra looked plainer than ever before.

He greeted Anupama politely. Anupama’s smile faltered in the face of Hari’s worshipful gaze. Many boys would look at her with the same expression during her college days. But she calmed herself; once the patches appeared on her face things would be quite different.

‘I want to thank you for letting me stay with you. Sumi said you would help me get a job in Bombay.’

‘Oh, that will not be a problem. Since this is your first trip to Bombay, why don’t you do some sightseeing first? Take a look at the Elephanta Caves, Victoria Terminus, Borivili Park, and so on. Please make yourself comfortable in our house.’

Although Hari’s words reassured Anupama, she continued to feel somewhat apprehensive. Sumithra was her friend, but how would Hari feel if she continued to stay there for some length of time?

A month passed. She and Sumithra had visited a few places in and around Bombay, and Hari too had accompanied them on occasion. Though he was very nice to her, Anupama was always conscious that she was a guest in their house, and felt that it would be best if she moved out as soon as possible.

Hari and Sumithra would leave for the office early in the morning and return late in the evening. Anu would finish all the household work in the meantime. In her free time, she would sit on Versova beach and let her thoughts wander.

One day Hari came home in high spirits. ‘Anupama, I have a friend called Gopal Athrey. It seems there is a vacancy in his office for a clerk. . If you’re interested, we can go for an interview tomorrow.’

Anupama smiled, ‘That is excellent news.’

‘But you’ll have to travel to the Fort area every day.’

‘So many people commute, why should I be an exception?’

The following day, Anupama went to Mr Athrey’s office. She was anxious to get the job so that she would no longer be a burden on Sumi. ‘Please, God,’ she prayed, ‘please let me get this job somehow.’

She waited in the visitors’ room and watched as the receptionist pulled out a small mirror from her purse and touched up her lipstick. Anupama had never used any make-up, except for a few light touches while acting in plays. She believed that it was not the make-up but the expression and modulation of voice that breathed life into the character that she played. She wondered where all her hopes and dreams had gone. Even in her bleakest moments, she had never seen herself looking for a job as a clerk.

Her musings were cut short when the receptionist, Dolly, asked, ‘Are you Anupama?’

Anupama nodded, and was asked to go in.

There were three people inside. The senior-most of them told her, ‘Your qualifications are very impressive, but this is a clerical post. It involves a lot of repetitive work. If you are sure you want to take it up, you can join tomorrow.’

Anupama was very happy. She thanked them and left.

‘Poor girl!’ Gopal Athrey said.

‘What do you mean? She is so beautiful and intelligent.’

‘My friend, Hari, was telling me that she has leukoderma and that her husband has left her.’

‘But we could not see any patches.’

‘Anyway, it does not concern us as long as she is efficient. If you look carefully, everyone has some problem or the other. We should not bother about such things.’

Anupama’s eyes filled with tears of joy when she received her first salary. She considered it her duty to send some money to her father. She even offered Sumithra money to cover her expenses, but it was Hari who stopped her, saying, ‘How can I take money from you? If I had my sister staying with me, would I take money from her? You are just like a sister to me. You can stay in our house as long as you wish.’

With financial independence, Anupama’s confidence began to blossom. She had become friends with many of the girls who worked with her. They were from various backgrounds and even different regions of the country, and they lived in different parts of Bombay. None of them ever talked about her skin patches or her past. Anupama, too, had begun to accept her condition and look beyond it. The darkest period of her life was behind her now. She and Dolly travelled to and from work together every day, and they became good friends over a period of time.

Anupama constantly felt the need to take up accommodation of her own. Sumi and Hari were very cordial with her, but she was afraid that such closeness could end in unhappiness.

She had requested all her friends to help her find a place to stay. But, so far, she had not been able to find anything that was within her means.

When Anupama received her Deepavali bonus, she bought a silk sari for Sumi and a silver bowl for Hari. As she gave them the gifts, Hari objected, saying that they were too expensive. Anupama silenced him by saying, ‘This is a gift from your sister for Deepavali.’ She was deeply grateful for the way they had helped her in her time of need.

One day, Dolly did not come to office. As she was engaged and was emigrating to Australia after marriage, Anupama thought that she was perhaps busy with her preparations for the wedding. But when she called up her house, she was told that Dolly had met with an accident and that she had been hospitalized. Anupama immediately applied for leave and rushed to the hospital. Outside the hospital room, Dolly’s ageing mother, Mary, sat crying, surrounded by a few friends. Most of her family was in Goa, and Dolly was her only daughter.

When Anupama met the doctor to find out if anything was required, he said, ‘Your friend needs blood. These days the incidence of AIDS is so high that we prefer blood from a known person. Perhaps one of the relatives can help? Dolly has lost a lot of blood; she needs a transfusion as soon as possible.’

The moment they heard that blood was needed, Dolly’s visitors quietly melted away. Anupama told the doctor, ‘Doctor, if my blood group is compatible with hers, I am ready to give my blood.’ She hesitated for a moment, ‘I suffer from leukoderma—will it affect her in any way?’

‘Of course not! Leukoderma cannot be passed on through blood transfusions.’

Anupama belonged to the same blood group as Dolly. After giving the blood, she went and met Dolly’s mother and persuaded her to go home, promising to stay with Dolly through the night. She did not say anything about having donated her blood.

Until Dolly left the hospital, Anupama stayed with her every night to help her. Dolly was overwhelmed with gratitude. Holding Anupama’s hand, she said, ‘Anu, how can I ever thank you for all that you’ve done for me?’

Anupama interrupted her, ‘Don’t talk as though I’ve done something great. You needed some blood and I was able to give it to you. That’s all.’

Chandrika, one of Anupama’s colleagues at the office, was getting married, and Anupama had taken half a day off to attend the wedding. She knew it would be quite unlike the small-town weddings she had attended so far where the festivites often went on for three days. Chandrika’s wedding would be a short and simple ceremony. Anupama was very excited about attending it; after a long time, she’d again taken an interest in dressing up. She went to the Dadar market and bought a silver bowl before rushing off to the wedding hall.

It was an unostentatious wedding. Anupama sat in a corner and observed all that was going on. Unbidden, her thoughts went back to her own wedding. What a display of wealth and grandeur! How much money had been spent on the hall, flowers, decorations and the catering! She felt as though it had all been a dream. What was the use of all that expense? The real success of a marriage depended not on superficial factors such as those, but upon love and mutual understanding between husband and wife.

After the wedding lunch, Anupama went straight home. She’d assumed that the house would be locked as usually, at that time of the day, everyone was at work. But to her surprise she found Hari at home.