Madness or Love (Be With Me Book 1) (10 page)

His smile broadened. “Hey.”

The sound of his voice reverberated through her body.
She took a deep breath, trying to clear her mind. Hundreds of questions wanted
to pop out of her mouth simultaneously.

“Hey back,” was all she managed. Victoria stood there,
blocking the entrance to the flat. Subconsciously, she didn’t want to let him
into her soul again.

“May I come in?” he asked calmly, but he couldn’t hide
the hint of anxiety in his voice.

His question snapped her out of her stupor, and
manners kicked in. “I’m sorry. Of course. Come in!” She took a step back and
let him in.

Ian closed the door behind him and sighed. “Phew, for
a second I thought you’d leave me on the street like a homeless dog.”

“I would never . . .” she started, but then she saw
the sparkles in his eyes; he was teasing her.

Ian let go of his luggage and, in one swift motion,
took her in his arms. His words came almost like a whisper in her ear. “I’ve
missed you.”

Victoria couldn’t fight anymore, and her body relaxed
in his arms. If only things were that easy. She wondered when the reality would
burst their bubble of self-delusion. He squeezed her lean body tighter.

“I’ve missed you, too, but you’re suffocating me,” she
managed.

He let her go, and both laughed. The genuine sound
filled the space around them.

She had the feeling she would burst. “Why did you
never tell me you were coming?”

“Surprise!” He gave her a mysterious smile. “I’ll
leave this in the bedroom.” He took his suitcase and started down the hallway.

“Wait a second! Where are you staying?”

He stopped next to her bedroom door and answered, “I
kind of hoped I could stay here. With you.”

It was a question, she knew, because there was a clear
uncertainty in his voice. She shifted uneasily, feeling the determination to
kill her love for him chipping away. Self-control was a hard challenge when he
was in the same room with her. And he had no intention of leaving.

“I thought you hated my couch,” she said, deciding to
hide behind humor.

“I do.” He glanced briefly at her still-stunned face,
left the suitcase, and stepped into the kitchen. “Tell me you have coffee.”

For the first time, she really looked at him. The
wrinkles around his eyes were deeper and made him look much more mature. He sat
on one of the chairs and ran his fingers through his already-messy hair. She
frowned, sensing his discomfort, but turned the espresso machine on. Making the
coffee and not facing him gave her time to compose herself and regain her
determination to keep their status “just friends”. She would try to be the best
friend possible, nothing more. She put the steaming cup in front of him and sat
down.

“Thank you! I needed it.”

“I can see that. You look tired.”

“That’s what over-seven-hour flights do to you. Not to
mention the insomnia.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“You need to rest. Why didn’t you listen to me and get
away?”

“I did.” He suddenly grinned at her.

Her eyes widened, and a tiny wisp of hope stole into
her heart. “I remember I mentioned an unknown tropical island. And although we
are on an island, you can’t call rainy London tropical at all.”

He shrugged and took a sip of his coffee, but his eyes
never left hers.

“You have the worst travel agent, you know that,
right?” she continued.

He flashed a smile at her. “I disagree. I think I have
the best one possible.”

She looked questioningly at him.

“You know why? I am exactly where I want to be.”

Her smile wavered for a fraction while her heartbeat
sped up.
No, don’t go there
, her mind told her, but her heart filled
with longing and hope. Despite her feelings, her brain won the battle. One
question, though, she could not ignore. “Why are you really here, Ian?” she
asked quietly.

“I don’t understand.” He watched her intently with
clear confusion on his face.

“With all the places in the world, you choose to come
here. Why?”

He leaned back, weighing his answer. Should he tell
her the truth now or should he wait? He chose the latter. “I was stressed, and
you were right, I needed a vacation. I wanted to be somewhere safe, and I
thought about you. I told you I missed you, so the choice was obvious.”

She cocked her head to one side, not buying it.

“Okay, you caught me.” He laughed. “I wanted to be
here with you for your birthday. I thought it would be fun to spend it
together.”

His sincere words shook the ground under her feet. The
treacherous hope rose again deep inside her soul. She shook her head. No, she
must be a friend; nothing more. Somewhere, at the bottom of her heart, she was
falling to pieces. Despite the pain, she shoved her feelings even deeper and
smiled back. “Where is my present, then?”

“Sitting in front of you,” he said, and his eyes
darkened.

Damn you, Ian
, she thought. Why was he making her
decision so difficult? She tried to keep the friendly tone. “So, you’re
actually saying you’re my birthday present?”

“Yes,” he said slowly. “Sorry, I didn’t have time to
buy you anything. Will I suffice?” The teasing flames in his eyes enkindled.

Victoria suppressed the ache in her chest. “Let me
make this clear.” She grinned. “You’re mine for tomorrow, and I can do with you
whatever I want?”

His eyes glistened with anticipation. “Shall I be
worried?” he asked with faked fear in his voice.

“You didn’t answer my question,” she insisted.

He studied her face for a while. Her soft lips were
calling him; her eyes had imprisoned him a long time ago. He felt the pull, the
need to touch her, but his hands remained still on the dining table. He briefly
closed his eyes and answered with renewed confidence. “I am yours.”

Victoria’s heart jumped in her chest, and the fragile,
tiny hope peaked, once again, from the deep corner where she had locked her
love. Her smile never wavered, though. She was getting better by the minute.
“Wonderful!” She jumped off the chair and grabbed her phone. “I’m sorry; I need
to make a call.”

A momentary confusion appeared in Ian’s eyes, but he
nodded.

She dialed a number. “Hey,” she said after two rings.
“I’m sorry; I need to bail on you tomorrow.” Her voice was calm, but Ian
watched her with curiosity. Victoria sighed. “No. Don’t be mad. I’ll explain
later.” A frown formed on her forehead. “I won’t be at home.” She glanced
quickly at Ian and blushed. “Yes,” she whispered at the phone.

Ian wasn’t even pretending he wasn’t interested in the
conversation. After all, he was the main subject.

“Okay. Bye,” she said, pressing the end button and
returned to the table. “Are you hungry?” she asked.

Ian ignored the question. “May I ask you something?”
He knew he might be entering quicksand, but the fear gripped his throat. “Was
that Thomas on the phone?”

Victoria blinked in disbelief, and then several
emotions crossed her face—wonder, a flash of anger, uncertainty. She looked at
him with impossibly-sincere green eyes. “No.”

Ian hadn’t realized he was holding his breath. His
tensed body relaxed. “I am sorry I ruined your date with that man.” He looked
bravely into her expecting eyes.

“Are you really?” The question slipped through her
lips.

He opened his mouth to protest, but the words never
came. Ian could not lie to her. “No, I’m not.” He sighed. “But I want you to be
happy. I thought you knew that.”

“Happy, but not with Thomas?”

“I just don’t think blind dates is the best option for
finding a boyfriend.”

“It wasn’t a blind date,” she started, but stopped,
feeling the sting in her eye. “Never mind.” Victoria stood up and took her cup
to the sink. How was she supposed to be happy when she was spellbound by him?
She heard him move but did not turn around. Seconds later, his hands were
around her waist, and his chin rested on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Neither do I.” Her body relaxed in his embrace
despite her brain screaming at her to step aside. “You didn’t ruin my date. It
was doomed from the very beginning.”

“It doesn’t matter. You were right; I had no business
messing in your love life.”

Yes, you have
, she thought, but the only thing
that came from her mouth was a deep sigh.

Ian let her go because his body was a second away from
betraying his feelings. An almost painful desire swept through him. His
trembling hands craved to touch and feel her skin, and he stepped aside. “Who
was it on the phone, then?” He changed the subject.

“My sister. Kim and I had plans for tomorrow.”

“Oh, I’m so stupid. So selfish of me. I’ve messed with
your birthday plans.”

“It’s okay; she understood.” Victoria turned around
and finally faced him. “We can actually take advantage of it. Kim and I had
planned a trip to Alton Towers.”

“Is that an old castle?”

“There is a castle involved,” she said vaguely, and a
genuine smile lit up her face.

“Then it is a historical site?”

“Not quite.” She paused. “It’s an amusement park.”

Ian should have expected this. Victoria was full of
surprises. “I’m not a big fan of height.”

“More like speed. Come on, I need a shot of
adrenalin.”
And we need to get out of the apartment
, she thought. “All
the arrangements have been made already. I know you’ll love it. It’s so
English.”

His laugh filled the kitchen space. “Okay, I give up.
And besides, I’ve pledged myself to you for the day. All yours, remember?”

A warm tingle spread through her body. And all of a
sudden, all she could think of was her hands entwined in his hair and his hard
body pressed to hers. “It’s about time we eat something. Does Panzanella sound
good?” She hoped the distraction had worked.

“I have no idea what that is, but it sounds delicious.
May I help?”

“Yes, here, you can slice the tomatoes.”

Working shoulder to shoulder in the kitchen felt
surreal. They passed products around in weird unison. In a blink, she could
imagine cooking, laughing, raising children, growing old with Ian—side by side.
Her heavy heart let out a silent scream. The vision was pure madness.

After the mixture of juicy tomatoes, red onions,
basil, capers, pork sausage, and bread was in a bowl and ready for devouring,
Victoria poured two glasses of wine. Both friends crashed on the sofa and ate
in silence for a while.

Ian was the first to speak. “That was the best tomato
salad I’ve ever tasted.”

“Thank you. It’s simple, but it’s one of my favorites.
Would you like some more?”

“Yes, please.”

Victoria filled his plate. “How about an old movie?”
she asked.

Ian just nodded, still chewing with pleasure.

“I think I have a comedy somewhere.” Victoria stood up
and rummaged through the shelves of the TV stand. “I found one.” She triumphantly
gave him a DVD.

“How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” he read out loud.
“Seriously?”

“I love Matthew McConaughey.” She shrugged.

“Fine. Play it.”

An hour later, Victoria felt emotionally tired.
Instead of relaxing in front of the TV, they ended up arguing about horrific
“losing a guy” techniques, laughing, and talking about the acting talent of the
lead actors. She cuddled next to him and closed her eyes for a second. Being
next to him felt right and wrong, wonderful and scary at the same time. She had
never felt their strange connection more vividly. The wine spread its warm
tentacles through her body, and her heavy head rested on Ian’s shoulder. Tired
of the inner fight with her heart, Victoria drifted off into a place where
loving Ian was as easy as breathing air.

He waited a couple of minutes to be sure she was sound
asleep. Trying not to wake her, Ian scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom.
He could stay there embracing her forever. He kissed her forehead, breathing in
the scent of her skin, and laid her on the bed. She softly murmured his name
but didn’t open her eyes. Ian pulled the covers over her and was about to leave
despite the need to touch her.

“The bed is big enough for both of us.” Victoria’s
soft voice came like a whisper. “You can sleep here.” A heartbeat passed. “If
you want to.”

Ian hesitated at the door. There was no doubt in him—he
wanted to feel her, taste her, fill her. A painful desire raced through him. He
looked gently at the woman curled up in the bed. Before he could claim her, he
needed to talk to her, to look her in the eye and say the words that would
change everything. And now was not the moment.

He had turned his back to her when she murmured his
name again. He looked at Victoria, but her eyes were closed. A dream. He sighed
and succumbed to the pull. Ian opened his suitcase, changed clothes, and lay
down next to the woman he loved.