Made in Nashville: HarperImpulse Contemporary Romance (17 page)

‘Can we get the hell out of here?’

They’d kept him four hours, insisting on going through all the motions despite him admitting the crime from the get-go. Everything he was wearing smelt of the place. He just wanted to get out, get showered and get changed.

‘Honor was here.’ Buzz led the way to the exit.

‘What?’

‘Did you think she wouldn’t come?’

He didn’t want to think that Honor had been here because of him. Waiting on those plastic seats, watching the clock tick around like his mom had done.

‘I sent her back to the festival. You’ve already messed things up for yourself I’m not letting you mess them up for her too.’

Jared nodded as he pushed open the door to outside. ‘Thanks, Buzz.’

‘My car’s over there. We need to discuss damage limitation.’

‘ … and, Honor, rumor has it Jed Marshall’s been arrested for assaulting Dan Steele right here at the Marlon Festival. Would you like to comment on that?’

‘Sally-Anne, what sort of a ridiculous question is that, darlin’? No, Honor would not like to comment on it and if any of the rest of you had ideas of asking something similar I want you to can them right now.’

Larry had saved her. Her moose-in-the-headlights impression and mumbled answers about her new album had been challenging enough but she hadn’t realized the news would break so quickly. She was still hanging on to that naivety from 2004. She’d had enough.

‘Thank you so much everybody.’ She stood up quickly and dismissed herself from the press call.

Once out of the marquee she checked her phone. No calls. Buzz had promised to call as soon as Jared was free. She looked at her watch. She had thirty minutes before she was back on stage.

‘Are you OK?’

Honor looked up into the face of a stranger, dressed in jeans and a black Festival t-shirt the roadies all wore. A backstage pass was hanging around his neck.

‘Yes … I’m fine. Just hanging out, catching some sun and a little peace,’ she responded. After the press interrogation she actually felt a bit faint. It was hot. There was little shade on the field and she knew she hadn’t drunk enough water. She needed to remedy that before her next performance.

‘Here.’ He held out a bottle of water.

She accepted it. ‘Thanks.’

‘My name’s Corbin. I’m working with Lindy Mason this weekend but if you need anything … ’

She unscrewed the cap on the bottle and slugged down mouthful after mouthful as if she hadn’t drunk in a week. She eventually pulled it from her mouth and wiped the residue with the sleeve of her blouse.

‘I actually have my own crew, but thanks, I should really get back to them. Thank you for the water, Corbin, it was nice to meet you.’

She smiled at him and headed back towards her trailer.

It was a cover, a song called ‘Telescope’ from the
Nashville
TV show soundtrack and Lennon and Maisy were two of the stars. They’d only had one rehearsal together but three talented performers didn’t need all that long to pull something special together. They brought the song to a finish and the crowd broke into wild applause.

‘Thank y’all so much! Thank you!’ Honor waved at the crowd and took another bow before leaving the stage. A roadie passed her a bottle of water and a towel and she took both, putting them down on an amp so she could slip her phone out of her pocket. Still no calls or messages. Was Jared still at the police station? Why was no one telling her what was going on?

‘Honor.’

She recognized the voice and she didn’t want to see him. She hastily pressed keys on her phone ignoring him, pretending she hadn’t heard. She felt him approach and she shifted slightly, turning her face towards the side curtains.

Dan touched her arm and she whipped it away. ‘Stop it! That’s how this whole thing started.’

She looked up at him, taking in his swollen, misshapen nose and the stitches across his cheekbone.

‘What do you want?’ she asked.

‘Can’t you see what he did to me?’

‘Yeah I see it. What d’you want me to say? It isn’t as if he hasn’t warned you.’

‘He’s out of control.’

Honor shook her head. ‘You want him to be. You want him out of your way because he’s twice the musician you are. That’s what all this is about. It’s not about me like Jared thinks it is. It’s about you pushing his buttons and controlling what happens next.’

‘I can’t believe I’m hearing this. I’m the victim here!’ Dan raised his arms in frustration.

‘Why are you back here? You’re not on again until tomorrow with Vince Gill. Nice work setting that one up. Who did you have to walk all over?’

Dan shook his head and Honor could see he was biting down his jaw, reining in any smart retorts.

‘If you’re not here to tell me you’re dropping this crazy assault charge then I have nothing to say to you,’ she said firmly.

‘Honor, I care about you. I care about you being involved with someone like that. He’s a loose cannon, everybody knows it and today everybody saw it.’

‘Because you made it so.’

‘How long’s it gonna be before he starts taking his frustrations out on you?’

Fire boiled inside her but she held it in, looked at him, wondering whether this was for real. Was that what he really thought? That Jared was that sort of man? Was that the picture he was going to paint for anyone who asked about the situation? Would he start rumors, write stories, try and discredit Jared for his own gain?

She wet her lips with her tongue and leveled a steely look straight at him. ‘Jared Marshall isn’t only a better musician than you, he’s a better man. You drop the case against him or I’m going to start delivering a few home truths of my own …  to Davey Duncan at Countrified or maybe to Yallwire or Nashville Sound.’

Dan shook his head. ‘I can’t do that. Too much has happened between us and it needs to be stopped for good.’

‘You drop the charges, Dan or I’ll tell the world what you said after my attack, when I came to in the hospital.’ She was breathing hard, her heart pumping full bore, the disgust she felt for him taking over her whole body.

‘What? What are you talking about?’

‘Don’t you remember?’ She scoffed and shook her head. ‘Well I guess that doesn’t really matter, because
I
remember. Because stuff like that bites into you, eats into your memory every time you’re feeling low or having a bad day. And I have to say I’ve had quite a few of those in the time you’ve been gone.’

‘Honor … ’ Dan started.

‘After I was attacked you said to the doctor … ’ She paused, the memory flooding her with hurt and pain, stirring up emotions he kept evoking whenever he put himself in her path. ‘You said, ”when you fix her up, see if you can make her prettier.”’

She spat out the last word, driving the point home and trying to get over even one ounce of what that had done to her back then. She held her nerve, kept her eyes on him, knowing what the reaction would be, knowing once she’d reminded him he’d remember. A flippant comment he’d never intended her to hear, one he probably didn’t even mean, but one so ill-timed and placed it had almost destroyed her.

He dropped his eyes to the floor and she finally let her breath go in an audible rush. She had nothing left to say to him. Whether he dropped the case against Jared or not, she’d told him how she felt, finally got rid of what she’d been hauling around with her for too long.

‘I can’t see public reaction being too great for you if that got out. Kicking someone when they’re down isn’t really a Tennessee kind of thing. Micro’d have a hard time spinning that around the nice guy image they’re building up. People might just understand exactly why Jared floored your ass.’

He still hadn’t picked his head up from looking at the floor of the side stage and she was glad. She picked up the towel and water and pushed herself passed. She took the steps off stage two at a time, no idea where she was going. She just knew she’d had more than enough for one night. She didn’t want to be leapt on by reporters or get dragged into one of the parties, she just wanted home. She wanted Jared.

‘Listen, Buzz, this ain’t up for debate, I’m goin’ in here. I’m gonna find Honor.’

He’d listened to over an hour of Buzz telling him what he was or wasn’t allowed to say to the press about the charges. His advisor had already contacted the Marlon Awards committee and they’d arranged a meeting for the morning. He didn’t care about anything except her. He had to know how things were between them. He had to know where he stood. He had to know if she was with him or if he’d just fucked up the best thing that had ever happened to him.

‘Jed, we hear the police have charged you with assault. Have you anything to say about that?’ A reporter was pushing a microphone in his face and a newsman was training a video camera his way.

‘Jed has nothing to say right now. Move along there,’ Buzz stated, taking hold of Jared’s jacket and ushering him forward.

‘Where would she be right now?’ He was asking himself as much as Buzz. He checked his watch. She would have finished only fifteen minutes or so ago. Would she have hit one of the party tents? Be doing an interview? His phone was dead and he knew Byron was working with Lindy Mason so there was no hope of getting hold of him. He was running out of ideas.

‘We’ll find her. Pity you don’t know her number, I have full signal and 87%.’

‘Way to go.’

He flashed his backstage pass at the security by the cordon and he and Buzz passed through. His eyes scanned everyone they walked by - crew, guests, artists - he just wanted to see someone he knew well enough to ask if they’d seen Honor.

‘Jared,’ Buzz said, catching hold of his arm. He pointed with his other hand.

He could see her. She was coming out of one of the trailers; her guitar case slung over one shoulder, her hair hanging down as she maneuvered out the door. Right at that moment he didn’t know what to do. There she was looking so damn perfect and here he was, screwing up again, charges hanging over his head, an award nomination probably dragging in the dirt.

‘What are you waiting for?’ Buzz asked him.

He shook his head. ‘I don’t know.’

The damn guitar was stuck in the doorway. What was the matter with the trailer companies? If they were providing trailers for musicians the least they ought to do is make sure a guitarist can get in and out the exit with an instrument on their back. She shifted sideways and tucked the guitar into her body. As it released and she was through she looked up. Jared.

All at once every emotion flooded out of her in a split second. She let the guitar slip from her shoulder and hit the ground and then she was running, haring down the steps of the trailer and tearing across the grass toward him. Her heart was bursting, her eyes leaking tears as she rushed to get to him, to be with him, to make sense of the whole mess they seemed to have gotten in.

She jumped at him, knowing he would catch her and he did. His solid mass hit her like masonry, jarring her, halting her speed, bringing her to a stop in his arms. He put her down and she squeezed him closer, breathing in the scent of him, freshly showered, leather, heat. Running her fingers down his face she kissed his lips, relished the feel of his mouth warming hers in response. It was only after this physical fix, after she’d sated the need for him that she thought about talking.

‘Are you OK? I came downtown but they wouldn’t let me see you and Buzz said … ’ She noticed Buzz for the first time as he waved a hand in recognition of his mention. ‘Buzz said I should come back to the festival and finish up my night.’

‘And Buzz was right,’ Jared agreed, holding her hand.

‘Listen, am I safe to leave you for a few hours? I could really do with seeing Lucille,’ Buzz interrupted.

‘Go, man, go see her,’ Jared ordered.

‘I’ll see you for our meeting in the morning,’ Buzz reminded. ‘Goodnight, Honor.’

‘Goodnight,’ she responded.

Buzz waved a hand and headed away from them towards the exit.

Jared blew out a breath and kissed Honor’s knuckles. ‘A crazy day, huh?’

‘Something like that. But I remember someone telling me if you don’t do something crazy once in a while you may as well be dead.’

‘What kind of ass would say something as stupid as that?’ Jared smiled.

‘The kind of ass I’m in love with,’ Honor responded.

She’d kept her voice steady. She wanted him to know but she didn’t want it to sound like a proclamation she couldn’t play down if he didn’t feel the same way.

‘What?’

‘What?’ She swallowed. She didn’t know if she had the nerve to say it a second time.

He nodded and kissed her knuckles again. ‘You got your car around here? There’s somewhere I wanna take you.’

‘Where the hell are we going? I’m sure we don’t have to cross the state line to get good ribs. In fact I know we don’t,’ Honor said as she followed Jared’s directions along the freeway.

‘It’s only another five miles or so, I swear,’ he responded.

She glanced across at him. He was rubbing his reddened knuckles, looking out of the passenger window as they passed the country by. What had happened with Dan was the elephant in the car. They’d driven twenty miles already and they’d talked through her entire set list of the Marlon - which songs she felt had gone well, which songs could be dropped out of her next performance, what she could try next time. Neither of them had touched on the hot topic that really needed some sort of conversation, and hopefully closure.

‘I don’t regret what I did and I’d do it again,’ Jared stated. ‘I know it’s not politically correct to go beatin’ up on people but that’s OK. I’ll face up to whatever’s comin’.’ He turned to look at her. ‘I just want you to know that.’

‘I do know that,’ she answered. She kept her eyes on the road.

‘He’s playin’ games with you. Hell, he’s playin’ games with me too but I only know one way, you know.’

‘I know,’ she answered.

‘Hell, I
don’t
know, Honor. I don’t want you to be ashamed of who I am. I can’t change it. I don’t wanna change it. I’ve been raised this way and it’s the right way, I truly believe that.’

‘I know. I understand. It’s OK.’ She meant it. She meant it with all her heart. It might be rough justice but at least he took a stand. At least he had an opinion, morals, strength; there was no sitting on the fence, no gray areas.

‘For real? See, I don’t wanna go down this road and … ’ He stopped talking, turned to look at her.

‘What is it?’ She could see he was thinking hard. He’d pulled his cap low but she could just see his gray eyes, shadowed by thoughts he wasn’t giving up yet.

‘Take the next left,’ he stated.

‘What is this place?’

The car was creeping along the wooded track and Honor was ducking and sitting forward in her seat trying to make out where they were headed. In a few hundred meters they’d be reaching his lodge at the Cedars of Lebanon State Park. He loved this place. It reminded him so much of home. That’s why he’d bought one of the small cabins soon after he arrived in Nashville. It was his retreat, his escape when life living in the middle of country music central got too much. He’d hang out there, swim, ride, write songs, just enjoy the simple things.

‘Just pull up right over there,’ he told her, pointing.

‘Here? This place?’

‘My place,’ he responded, a hint of pride in his tone.

Honor pulled to a stop. ‘This is your place?’

‘Yeah, wanna see it?’ He grinned and pulled the handle of the car door. ‘We might have to go collect some wood to get the fire goin’.’

The lodge was basic but homey. A little like his place in Nashville, but even more rustic. The front door led straight into a small kitchen diner which housed a table and a couple of chairs, then followed through to a den. There was a large couch covered with plaid rugs and gingham cushions, a small old-fashioned TV in the corner and the biggest fireplace Honor had ever seen, in front of which was a rug that looked like bear skin.

‘I’d like to say I caught it but I’m not sure it’s real.’

‘What?’ Honor turned back to him, watched him putting their guitars down.

‘The rug.’

She smiled. ‘It’s great …  the place I mean …  not really a fan of bears, alive or dead.’

‘Not even if they’re sitting on the shelf at Target? I saw you look at a cute little doorstop.’

She let out a laugh and smiled at him.

‘You hungry?’ he asked.

‘Don’t tell me, bear steaks?’

‘Burgers from the freezer and Alabama hot sauce?’

‘Perfect.’

They’d collected wood for the fire, dropped in on the ranger who’d provided milk, coffee and a six pack of beer and the meat Jared had cooked on the grill was treating her mouth to raw succulence, chili and woodsmoke.

‘This is so good,’ she said, taking a swig from her bottle of beer.

‘I told you before, eggs and burgers is all I do.’

‘That’s fine by me.’

She smiled at him, watched him press a spot of sauce out the corner of his mouth.

‘Damn, forgot the napkins. Never had company here before.’

‘No?’

‘What, you think this is the place I bring all those hoards of sexy fans I have?’

‘Isn’t it?’

‘Hell, no. Having sexy fans is great for my ego but that’s all.’ He laughed then picked up his drink. ‘Anyway, Miss Blackwood, I’ve been checkin’ out some of the people followin’ you on social media.’

‘Gear say I have to do at least three meaningful tweets a day. I’ve been thinking about letting Mia loose on it and paying her.’

‘Man, she would take you down.’

‘I know, I’d be twerking someone before lunch.’ She smiled and sat back in her chair.

‘She’s cool though and Byron likes her,’ Jared said, pushing his finished plate away.

‘She likes him too. He’s the first guy she’s been really into since Leroy left her for Mexico.’

‘What?’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ She leant forward, reaching across the table for his hand and smoothing her thumb over his damaged knuckles. ‘What are you going to do about the awards?’

He shrugged and she could see from his body language it wasn’t something he really wanted to discuss. But that was too bad because the fallout was going to affect them both.

‘Buzz has fixed up some meetin’ with the committee tomorrow. It’s just a formality. They don’t want someone up on charges in the runnin’ for an award and I understand that. I don’t blame them.’

She squeezed his hand. ‘What if the charges were dropped?’

‘Hell, you reckon Dan Steele is gonna miss out on a prime opportunity to take me down? He’s been hangin’ out for this.’

‘I spoke to him.’

He took his hand from hers. ‘What?’

‘Did you think I was going to just let him do this to you? To us? Like you said, he’s been hanging out for this. He’s been manipulating you and me and I couldn’t just stand by without trying to do something.’

‘You shouldn’t have done that.’ He stood up, picking up the plates and carrying them over to the kitchen area.

‘Why not?’ She watched him. He banged the plates down then opened the fridge, taking out another beer.

‘Because it’s my fight. You shouldn’t get involved. When the wreckin’ ball’s swingin’ I only want it to take
me
down, not you.’ He opened the bottle then leant against the countertop, taking a swig.

‘I’m involved already. And we’re in this together …  aren’t we?’

Her heart had stepped up a gear now. She knew what she was getting into with him. She thought he realized that she was all in, no matter what. His lack of reply was biting at her. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Why was he just stood across the room hiding his eyes from her?

‘Jared.’

‘It isn’t just about that jerk,’ He raised his head and leveled a look at her. ‘There’s somethin’ I’ve gotta tell you. And when you know it, things might change.’

This was tearing at his heart. He had held off telling her for some many reasons, most of them selfish. He didn’t want to go through the same kind of pain he’d experienced with Karen. But what was the alternative? Keep on deceiving Honor? The more he fell for her, the closer they got, the worse it would be.

‘Whatever it is, I’ll understand.’

She was crossing the room now, coming nearer and he put the beer down, folding his arms across his chest. If she touched him he was done for. It would all come pouring out and he might not be able to stop. He needed to stop somewhere. He couldn’t let it all go because it wasn’t just about him.

‘Jared, tell me.’ She paused. ‘What are you afraid of?’

‘How about just about everythin’? Of losin’ you, of hatin’ myself, of lettin’ someone in.’

She reached out to touch his shoulder and he moved away, took a couple of paces toward the other wall. ‘Don’t.’

‘You’re scaring me.’

What the hell was he doing? If he didn’t start talking soon he would lose her just for acting like an ass. And that wasn’t better, not now they’d come this far.

‘Jared, please, just talk to me,’ she begged.

There were tears in her eyes already and she was hugging her arms to her body looking every inch the beautiful woman she was. He wanted to grab hold of her, take her in his arms and kiss every inch. But she had to know about this before or if that happened. Because he was marked on the inside, branded forever whether the world knew or not.

He blew out a breath and put his hand to his cap. ‘When I was sixteen somethin’ bad happened.’ He looked to her. ‘I spent two years in juvenile detention.’

He waited a second for the words to sink into her before carrying on. ‘Except I didn’t get a private room, education or a fancy gymnasium. My arrestin’ officer saw to it that the system screwed me over because me and him - him and my family - had history.’ He closed his eyes, remembering the smirk on Officer Finlay’s face when he’d finally got to read him his rights. ‘For the last part of my sentence I got a cell in a state prison with my momma cryin’ every weekend because she felt guilty.’

What he’d gone through in there he kept boxed up at the very back of his mind. The filth, the animals housed in those walls – killers, perverts, wife-beaters – he’d been exposed to everything and he’d just worn it, kept his head down and prayed for an out. But it had changed him, it had hammered at his self-worth, worn down his youthful innocence and the worst of it was, he hadn’t even deserved it.

‘No one knows, the public I mean. It was a youth record, it was sealed so at least I could start again. The one thing it gave me was determination. I came out knowin’ I had to make it with music and nothin’ or no one was gonna stop me.’ He nodded as the feeling rolled over him. ‘But being in there, Honor - being labeled a criminal, being with those men - when I was just a boy not knowing much about anything …  it wasn’t right. It wasn’t just.’ He could feel emotion was getting the best of him now. He could remember the smell of the place to this day. Grim, sweat, urine.

‘Every day I’m praisin’ the Lord for givin’ me this second chance but I’m trapped with these stinkin’ fuckin’ memories. Two years wasted, two years of hurt for my family - shame, dishonor - all because of some asshole cop. You asked me why I never take the cap off.’ He put his hand to the peak. ‘It was the first thing they took off me the day they brought me in and it was the first thing I put back on when I got out.’

He put his fist to his mouth and closed his eyes as the tears came.

There was not a second of hesitation. She ate up the space between them in three strides and she took him, clapped her arms around him and held on tight as he cried.

‘Sshh, don’t do that. It’s breaking my heart.’ The tears were falling from her eyes, just thinking about what he’d been through when he was so young. While she was cutting her first record and enjoying fame and fortune, he’d been in a prison cell.

‘I’m sorry, Honor.’ His words were muffled as he pressed his face into her shoulder, taking the comfort she was offering.

‘No, I’m sorry, for the both of us. Between foster homes and juvenile detention the system screwed us both. Thank God for music, huh?’ She smiled. ‘But it’s not our fault, not any of it.’ She flexed her fingers over the leather of his jacket, wanting him to feel the sentiment behind her touch.

He lifted his head, his grey eyes moist from the tears.

‘I don’t care what you did,’ she stated, forcing him to look at her. ‘I don’t want to know what you did. It was way back then and it’s over.’ She held his hands. ‘I believe in you …  I believe in us.’

‘The last person I told …  she broke my heart.’

‘I’m glad.’ She touched his face, holding her hand to his cheek. ‘Because she sent you to me.’

‘I don’t deserve you,’ he whispered.

‘I love you, Jared.’