Mad Addiction (Crazy Beautiful #2) (13 page)

“See, Brooks? Living together has its advantages.” He smirks playfully.

I shrug indifferently. “I guess you’re good for
something.
” I try to remain casual, but a sudden shiver makes me tremble.

Ryan’s brow furrows as he lightly rubs the goosebumps forming on my arms, this time keeping an arm’s length distance between us. “You should grab a towel and get warmed up. I’ll finish up in here and be out soon.” He steps aside so I can get past him. I nod and do as he says, grabbing the first big white, fluffy towel I see, quickly covering myself.

I don’t dare glance back as I scoot out of the bathroom, making sure to shut the door behind me. As I grab a fresh pair of pajamas and get into bed, I wait for the regret to creep in.

Except I can only picture him filling me, causing me to crave him all over again, even though he basically just gave me the brush-off. But did I really expect anything different?

I hear the water stop and a minute later Ryan, wearing a pair of shorts, turns out the light and crawls into bed next to me. He gets close, but not too close.
Damn.
After remaining quiet for a minute, he eventually says, “You know, Brooks, this situation is fucked up for the both of us, but if it had to happen, I’m glad it was with you.”

He smells like soap, clean and masculine, and I have to resist rolling over to breathe him in. “And why’s that?”

“Because you get me. You don’t hide shit and you tell it like it is. I know I can trust you not to get all weird on me and we can have a mutual relationship where it doesn’t have to be complicated or fucking filled with all types of drama. I respect that, and I respect you.”

I slowly exhale the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I think I let my crazy, out of control emotions cloud my sanity for a second there. I take a minute to remember why I’m even here, in Ryan’s bed—and in his life—in the first place. “I respect you, too, Ry. You didn’t owe me anything after that night at the wedding, but I really do appreciate all you’re doing for me. For us.” I caress my stomach, suddenly aware of just how serious I am. “I still want a real family someday, but until I meet the right guy, it’s nice to know I have you as a friend.”

Ryan gets quiet and I wonder if he’s fallen asleep. When he finally speaks the rawness of his voice surprises me. “I will always take care of you, Kelley. You and our baby. I may not be able to promise much else, but I can fucking promise you that.”

I try not to notice how nice my first name sounds falling from his lips. It makes my insides feel funny, though. His words bring me an extraordinary amount of comfort, as I know he means them, but at the same time I feel that recurring emptiness when I think of how much I also want someone to love me. To be
in
love with me. I don’t blame Ryan for this situation, I just wish it wasn’t so complicated. For as much as we lay our cards on the table, I have a feeling we both still keep a few aces hidden up our sleeves.

I roll to my right side, facing him. Without any light I can barely make out his silhouette. While I’m not usually so shy, somehow tonight it’s easier not to see his face. “I’m glad I’m having your baby, Blake, ” I admit into the darkness.

And as we both fall asleep, I realize I wholeheartedly mean it.

Kelley

Sixteen Weeks

“D
oes this dress make me look like a giant fat pregnant chick?” I step into the space between the living room and the kitchen where Ryan is waiting, feeling uncomfortable as I try to smooth the red fabric over my newfound curves. At five foot six with a lean frame, I feel like I’m showing way more than I should for being only sixteen weeks.

He eyes me from my simple black ballet flats, past the form fitting red dress that has three-quarter sleeves and falls just past my knees, all the way up to my face. I’ve left my long, brown hair down to fall past my shoulders and have applied a bit of makeup. I’m worried I look like I’m trying too hard to impress Ryan’s family, but hell, I want them to like me.

Ryan’s gaze lingers on my red lips for a beat longer before his eyes narrow. “Nice try, Brooks. I’m not walking into that fucking trap. You women all realize there is never a good answer for that kind of question, right?”

I cross my arms and pout. “The right answer is to say ‘no,’ ya big jerk.”

He stalks over to me, looking mighty fine in dark jeans that hang on his hips in all the right ways, and a sexy, dark green button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal his cut forearms. He places his hands on my shoulders. “I hate to break it to you, Brooks, but you
are
a big, growing pregnant chick.” He moves his hands down to my belly.

I punch him in the shoulder. Hard.

He flinches and retracts his arms. “Jesus it’s a compliment!” I eye him fiercely as he tries to explain. “My kid is living in there and you are one cool ass woman to let him hang out in your womb for a while. Every day you get bigger, I know our baby is getting stronger and it’s fucking hot.” He smiles in such a damn arrogant, adorable way I have to laugh.

“Yeah, we’ll see how hot it is when I have cankles and am too huge to be able to shave my legs anymore.” I grin teasingly before turning to grab my coat.

He surprises me when he steps close to help me put it on. As he holds the thick wool up for me to slip my arms in, he responds playfully, “I could be into the whole cavewoman hippie thing.” I snort before he says in a softer, gentler voice, “Seriously, you look great, Brooks. You always do, and you always will.”

I blush as I fumble with the buttons on my jacket. For the past week and a half—ever since our steamy shower—Ryan and I have definitely gotten more comfortable around each other. While there is always an understanding that we’re just friends, we now have a more physical relationship . . . shameless flirting, him rubbing and talking to my stomach, and yes, more sex. It may not be true love, but it’s nice to have some semblance of a relationship going through all of this. It makes it easier to act like we’re together when we genuinely like—and are attracted—to each other.

That doesn’t stop me from being nervous about tonight, though. Ryan’s whole family will be at the Christmas party, and from what he tells me there are always a ton of other people. At least Logan, Tristan, Kinsley, Lucas, and Eli will be there so I will know a few familiar faces. It will be the first time we’re around everyone as an “engaged” couple, and I just hope we can pull it off. I try not to let Ryan pick up on my anxiety, because I know he is way more worked up about this than he is willing to admit. I could tell from the way he talked about his mom that this is the last place he wants to go, let alone also have to lie about our situation. I decide to keep things light to take his mind off it.

I pick up my small black clutch from the table and lightly swat his chest. “Well keep talking like that, mister, and you might just get lucky tonight.” I wink as he chuckles and we make our way to the door.

Before I can pass him, Ryan holds his arm out to stop me and whispers in my ear, “What if I don’t want to wait until tonight?”

Arousal spreads through my body, making me feel warm from the inside out. Before I have time to think of a witty comeback, he slaps my ass and says, “Come on, Sunshine. The sooner we get this shit over with, the better.” He pulls open the door and motions toward the hall.

Forty-five minutes later we pull up to a ginormous, gated property. Ryan enters a code on the keypad and the gates start to move. As he pulls his truck up the long, winding drive, I can’t help but literally let my jaw fall open.

“Jeez, Blake. I know you said your mom has money, but damn.” I eye him curiously. “Are you sure you’re not really Batman or something?”

He laughs as he puts the truck in park. “You caught me, babe. I’m wearing man tights under my pants as we speak.”

I giggle at the thought. “Does that mean Lucas is Robin?” I laugh even harder picturing the two of them running around town in bodysuits, fighting crime.

“Fuck that. I work alone.” He smirks, so genuinely happy it reaches his eyes, making them sparkle. I realize how proud it makes me to be the one to make him look that way. But all too soon he looks agitated again as he looks to the house, refusing to move or turn off the car. And
that
surprisingly makes me want to punch whoever hurt him in the past square in the face.

We sit in silence for a good minute and a half before I chance asking, “Soooo . . . are we going to go inside?”

He looks at me and wiggles his eyebrows. “Or we could have some fun out here.” His usual cocky smile isn’t completely convincing, and I know he’s just trying to stall.

I grab his shoulder and shake it. “Come on, Blake. We’re going in.” He reaches for the hem of my dress but I swat his hand away and look at him firmly. “Now.”

He hangs his head reluctantly but turns off the ignition. He takes two pieces of cinnamon gum out of his pocket and pops them into his mouth. Over the past few weeks I’ve noticed a pattern. When he’s feeling relaxed he has one piece, and when he’s feeling upset he has two. I find it curious and adorable. I’ve heard of people replacing one addiction with another, and it makes me wonder if chewing gum is a coping mechanism to help him stay sober.

As we each get out of the truck and walk up to the door he grumbles, “For a fake fiancée you sure are bossy.”

“Yeah, just imagine what I’ll be like as a real wife someday. That will be someone else’s problem. Lucky you dodged a bullet there, Blake, huh?” I try to laugh it off. I really did mean it as a joke, but for some reason the air shifts awkwardly between us. Before either of us can react, the big wooden front door swings open to reveal a slim, older woman wearing the fanciest beaded gown I’ve ever seen. “There’s my baby boy!” She throws her arms around Ryan’s neck and kisses both of his cheeks. He looks uncomfortable as he rolls his eyes and mumbles, “Hi, Mom.”

The woman then turns her gaze on me and looks delightfully astonished. “And is this the girl carrying my grandbaby?”

Ryan puts a protective arm around my shoulder. “Mom, this is my fiancée, Kelley. Kelley, this is my mother, Holly Blake.”

I smile, thankful Ryan’s warm body is so close to mine. I’m trying really hard not to make any snap judgments, but for as sweet as this woman is acting there is still one serious icy vibe I’m getting.

She claps her hands together as she sizes me up, surely trying to gauge if I’m good enough for her son. “Well, Kelley, I’m so thrilled you’re joining us. Now don’t just stand there you two. Come in, come in.” She ushers us into the house.

The entryway is gigantic and a huge, professionally decorated tree sits in the very center so it’s the first thing you see when you step inside. People are milling about with drinks in their hands and waiters are carrying around silver trays of food. A beautiful girl with green eyes and aubergine hair runs up to Ryan and throws herself at him. He gets that genuine smile on his face again as he hugs her back.

“About time my favorite brother showed up to this thing.” I notice the girl has the same exact teasing smile as Ryan, as well as a similar casual demeanor coupled with a cool edginess. She turns toward me and wraps me in a tight hug that feels natural and safe . . . the exact opposite of the impression her mother gives off. “And you must be the amazing girl finally tough enough to break this guy.” She hooks her thumb at Ryan, who introduces us.