Mad About You (17 page)

“Oh, you’re going to get rough, are you?” He tickled the delicate skin beneath her upper arm. “You’re a cream puff.”

“Stop it.” She squirmed out of his reach, biting down on a laugh and refusing to let him change the subject. “Come on, Scott. What is it you’re afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of anything.” He sighed and kneaded the back of his neck above his sagging shoulders. “But you’re right, I’m not a businessman at heart. All I really want is to work on projects that interest me, ride my bike on the weekend, and make love to you. Not necessarily in that order.”

She was relieved to hear she was among his top three priorities. But that very relief was upsetting in itself. She’d never questioned her place in his life before. They’d always been best friends, forever. Now the way they saw each other had changed.
Girlfriends come and girlfriends go,
he’d always said. Now, as his girlfriend, her presence in his life must be finite. She’d thought after they first had sex that he was giving her the brush-off. Even though they were still together she kept waiting for him to say,
This isn’t working after all. Sorry.
The fact that he hadn’t said it yet meant nothing. It was only a matter of time. What would happen when the romance ended? Could they go back to being friends? No, she doubted it. Having had a taste of a complete relationship with him she would find it too painful to go back to less.

“No, you were right,” she said. “You’ll grow into your responsibilities.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Then it’s simple. You hire someone you trust who can manage the business side of things. Your father, or someone of his choosing.”

“I don’t know. I don’t trust him.” His voice broke and before he glanced away she glimpsed a hard, bleak pain in his eyes.

Finally, she got it. No matter what the rational adult Scott knew or was told, the emotional truth was ingrained in him, deep and strong. When he was a child, when he had just lost his mother and needed his father, Ian had gone away.

Her heart heavy, she put her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. “Maybe Lorraine will come through.”

…

Scott woke in the night to darkness so dense he couldn’t make out any shapes in the room. Rain pounded on the windows and the roof. His heart pounded in his chest as if he’d run ten miles. Or woken from a nightmare. Cassy lay beside him, fast asleep, her breathing deep and even. The digital readout on the clock was blank. The power was out.

He got out of bed and padded out to the living room. No lights were shining in this part of the city and the blackness was thick and tangible, magnifying the rumble of thunder and the lashing of rain. He navigated by touch around the couch, barely able to tell where his apartment ended and the stormy night began.

He stubbed his little toe against something hard and unforgiving. As he rubbed it against his calf, sheet lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the room with sudden clarity and throwing the sharp edge of the dining table into relief.

He made his way to the window and placed his hands and forehead on the glass. It was cold and damp with condensation.

Cassy was right—he was afraid. He, who careered down mountainsides at sixty-degree angles on two wheels. Who six years ago had sold his car to pay for his first office rental. Who had quit a secure job with a nanotechnology research unit at the university to set up business on his own, with only five hundred dollars in the bank.

He wasn’t afraid of injuring himself, or going bankrupt or working eighty hours a week if he had to. He wasn’t afraid of failing. Those first couple of years he’d made more mistakes and false starts than smart moves.

So what could he possibly be afraid of? Success? No, he wanted to achieve his dreams. He longed to see his Dreamcatcher a reality so badly, it was like a physical craving.

But having his life change dramatically, being yanked out of his comfort zone and propelled into the unknown, that was a different matter. The last time that had happened on a large scale was when he was a child. First, his mother died and he’d been a lonely kid, looked after by a series of housekeepers while his father worked long hours and most weekends. Then Ian had moved him clear across the country, away from his friends, and left him with an aunt and uncle who were strangers to him. Aunt Lynn, his mother’s sister, and her husband, Rob, had proved to be kind and loving, and once he’d found Cassy he’d been fine. But those first weeks had been frightening, and made worse by the misery of his father leaving and not telling him when he was coming back.

Now, the thought of catapulting into the big time, of mixing it up with sharks like his father, made his skin clammy and his heart palpitate. It wasn’t rational. He was an adult—smart, resourceful, resilient. So why did he feel like a small boy again, in a strange house with creaks in the attic, covering his head with the blankets at night so no one would hear him crying?

He had no experience running a large corporation, especially one that would likely become multinational. What if he made bad decisions that adversely affected his staff? What if he was addressing a board meeting and froze? What if people didn’t trust him? And why would they, since he had no qualifications for this kind of position? With a larger workforce he would lose contact with the guys. He would be at a distance from people he cared about. And didn’t restructuring usually mean that people were fired?

What if he got everything he thought he wanted and he couldn’t handle it? What if everyone found out he was an imposter, a geek pretending to be an executive? What if his father, seeing he couldn’t hack it, withdrew his money?

What if his father was disappointed in him?

Stop it, stop giving in to negativity and try to think clearly.

Lightning flashed again. Scott pushed away from the window and paced across to the couch. Would he have all these doubts if the money were coming from Lorraine? He stopped in his tracks to consider that. Interesting. Yes, the changes in his life would be just as challenging and he was a bit worried about biting off more than he could chew. But he didn’t feel paralyzed by fear.

So what was the problem? Was it his dad?

Was he really afraid of failing in his father’s eyes? Of his dad realizing he’d made a mistake and abandoning him again?
Oh, Jesus.
He sank onto the couch. Cassy was right. His fears were those of a small boy, a hurt and lonely child.

The first time he’d hurtled down a mountain on his bike, his insides had been liquid with the realization that he could break his neck. When he’d sold his car and it hit him that if his software business failed, he wouldn’t have transportation to take him to another job, he’d experienced a moment of sheer terror.

But he hadn’t let fear stop him. He’d launched himself headfirst down the rocky slope. He’d scribbled his name on the dotted line. Because if he hadn’t, he would have had to give up his dream.

He wasn’t a child anymore, he was a man. He didn’t have any expectations about his dad in terms of them having a relationship—that hope was long dead—but he wasn’t prepared to let fear get in the way of his dreams. He could learn public speaking. He could learn how to manage a company. He could make sure he didn’t lose contact with his friends.

He could learn how to not give a damn what his father thought of him.
He’d worked so long and hard to make the Dreamcatcher a reality that he would regret it forever if he gave up now. Damn it, he would go for it. He would launch himself off the cliff and sign his life away and to hell with the consequences.

Lights winked on in nearby office buildings and street lamps. Beeps sounded in the apartment as electronic devices came back on.

Just making the decision energized him. Having made up his mind, he didn’t want to wait around for Lorraine to make up hers. It was time for action.

Scott went through into the kitchen to the phone. He didn’t know what time it was, and he didn’t really care. He felt his way over to the phone and replayed his messages until he came to his father’s call. Then he hit dial and waited for his dad to pick up. The ringing was almost drowned out by a long rumble of thunder directly overhead.

“Hello? Who’s this?” His father sounded alert despite the early hour. And not surprisingly, somewhat annoyed.

“Scott. Sorry to disturb you, Ian.” Best to keep things at arm’s length. “I’m prepared to accept your offer.”

“Really? Well, that’s great. I’m pleased.” Ian’s voice had softened. “Come to my office in the morning and we’ll discuss details.”

“I’ll be there.”

It was done. Scott hung up and sat in the dark with thunder rolling overhead. Cassy was right. His father wasn’t a monster, just a flawed human being. That didn’t mean Scott would embrace him with open arms and forgive the past, but he could work with him like anyone else.

This deal wouldn’t have come about if it weren’t for Cassy. She’d risked his anger and alienation to help him get what he needed. Gratitude filled him for all she’d done for him, and for being such a vital part of his life. Suddenly, he wanted to hold her, to feel her as close physically as she was in his heart.

He went back to the bedroom and slipped into bed. Cassy stirred and he took her into his arms. Her quiet murmur of pleasure made him feel wanted and whole. She was warm and soft and naked and she smelled musky from their lovemaking but with a hint of wildflower, like springtime and sunshine and optimism. He pressed a tender kiss to her cheek. “I called my father to accept his offer. The deal is going ahead.”

“Oh, Scott, I’m so glad.” Sleepily, she slid her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him, her breasts soft yet firm, her hips cradling his hardening body. He found her mouth in a long, languorous kiss and their limbs twined together beneath the down comforter, cocooned in warmth. The backdrop of thunder and rain added to a sense of being locked away together, safe from the storm outside.

He made slow, sensual love to Cassy. They weren’t in a hurry but took their time, pleasuring each other in ways they knew from exploring each other’s bodies and finding what they liked best. They didn’t speak; they didn’t need to. The silence between them was filled with thoughts and feelings that flowed on the same harmonious wavelength.

When their arousal was at its peak, she came, quietly but intensely. As the shudders rippled through her, Scott let go and found his own release. In the moment of perfect surrender, he silently poured out his heart and his hopes for the future. Everything was coming together for the good in his life.

Thanks to Cassy.

Chapter Ten

“Attention, please, geeksters!” Cassy sang out as she bustled into the office the next morning.

Scott had gone to meet his father to thrash out the basics of their deal before Ian left for Beijing. Cassy had wanted to attend as Scott’s financial adviser, but he asked her to prepare the guys instead. He probably wanted to feel his way through the meeting in his own way. To outsiders, it would appear as if manna had dropped into his lap, but she knew how hard dealing with his father would be for him. She was so proud of him for taking this step.

A sober business meeting didn’t suit her bubbly mood, anyway. What with getting the funding, and last night with Scott, she was overflowing with happiness. She’d actually broken into song in the lobby of Scott’s apartment building, much to the consternation of other residents and the delight of Martin, the doorman.

Tom’s head bobbed above his partition as he got to his feet, pushing back a blue cap that read, “Mmm, pi.” “Someone smack you with the happy stick?”

In Leonard’s cubicle, a mechanical pencil fell to the floor. He bent to retrieve it, then straightened and pushed his thick glasses up his nose. “Wow! You look beautiful, like Princess Leia, only, you know, better, because she has kind of a weird mouth but yours is really hot. I mean, your lips are all full and…” His blush deepened. “I’ll shut up now.”

The sound of K-pop briefly blared out of Park’s earbuds as he turned off his iPod. The cord dangled into the pocket of the white shirt he wore with a spotted bow tie and a black vest. “Wassup?”

“Good news! Wonderful news!” Cassy enthused. “Scott got funding. He’s with the angel investor right now, hashing out details so the lawyers can draw up an agreement. The Dreamcatcher will be coming soon to a store near you.”

“Woot, woot, woot!” Park did a dance, Gangnam-style.

Tom gave a whoop. “Take that, PacTech, you thieving scum.”

Leonard polished his glasses on an optical cloth, a slight frown above his squint. “What will happen to us?”

“You won’t have to buy office supplies or deal with salesmen ever again,” Cassy said gaily. “You’ll all get corner offices and have a personal assistant.” Hastily, she added, “Don’t quote me on that. Nothing’s settled yet. But I’m sure your jobs are totally safe.”

“What about you?” Tom asked. “Now that funding is secure, will your job end?” He sent a worried glance to the other guys.

“I sure hope not,” Leonard chimed in.

Park said, “It wouldn’t be the same here without you.”

“You guys are so sweet. I’m going to be fine. Scott will need me more than ever. The company will be expanding.” And restructuring. Should she tell the geeks about that? Maybe not. She didn’t know what would be involved. Anyway, this was Scott’s news and she didn’t want to steal his thunder. But she was going to be chief financial officer! The thought had her doing her own mental happy dance. “Never mind that now. We’re going to have a party when he gets back. Can someone help me bring in the cake and drinks?”