Lynna's Rogue (8 page)

             
Until then, why squander time dwelling on something they had absolutely no control over
?
There was no recourse except to wait it out. If he could just hold her, console her in the meantime. Alm
ost without realizing it, he
moved toward the breathtaking vision curled on his bed.

             
“
Non
! Stay away from me, Captain Jordan!” she warned with unshed tears glittering on her lashes. “You may be the Captain of this deplorable ship, but I will scream as though the hounds of hell are at my heels if you dare come near me again. You may stand there with your smug expression
, confident that your crew will not turn a hand against their beloved captain. But I promise you
your expression will be dramatically altered when my father learns of your deception. He hired you to protect me on this voyage. Not molest me!”

             
“Molest you! Malcolm molested you. You would compare us
?
” Joshua stormed, before noticing how profoundly overwrought she was and lowering his voice. “Lynna, we both know that is not what happened between us. I would never force you to do anything against your will, and in my heart
,
I believe you know this as truth. It was
a
pleasurable encounter for us both. If you carry my child, you have my word
that
I will be an attentive father. Now please, come on deck for some fresh air.”

             
“Have you taken complete leave of your senses? And face the other passengers? Surely you jest, Captain Jor
dan. Everyone is fully aware
of what we did. Why, even Malcolm urged me to enjoy his advances as I had enjoyed the advances of our illustrious Captain. I cannot show my face outside this cabin for the remainder of the voyage, I assure you. Now please, just leave my sight and never come back!”

             
Weeks later, Lynna was sitting in the center of the
huge bed regarding the
dolphins that frolicked alongside the ship when Joshua entered the cabin. Her eyes were still red-rimmed from her ceaseless crying, she had dark circles under her eyes, and she
appeared
even thinner.

             
Her
monthly flow had always been irregular, but she was well aware
that
she should have started by now. But she had not. According to Joshua, that offered only one conclusion. For the hundredth time on this voyage she wished to have Gertrude by her side. She would know how to handle this crisis that Lynna had mulled over and over in her head until it ached.

             
With no family, friends, or a confidant with whom to discuss her troubles
,
she had arrived at the most crucial decision of her life on her o
w
n. She was certain she was
enceinte
and could arrive at only one resolution to the problem of being unwed and with child. Gathering her dwindling courage
,
she forced her gaze from the window and blurted, “Joshua, will you marry me?”

             
Her heart sank as she watched the horror register on his face at her words. She knew then that he had no intention of making an honest woman of her. She was totally alone in her plight. While she agonized over the birth of his child, he would be off on another voyage
,
perhaps instilling the same predicament on another young lady. She knew his answer before he said the words.

“We will wait to see if you carry my chi
ld, Lynna. I will not marry
unless I have to.”

             
“Unless you have to?” She couldn’
t believe what she was hearing. He was refusing to marry her? After what he had done to her! “What kind of low, depraved, black hearted seadog are you? You planted the seed inside me, after getting me drunk on wine, and now you refuse to take the responsibility of seeing your child reared?”

             
“I said I would marry you if circumstances required it.”

             
If circumstances required it! He made it sound like it was the last thing on God’s green earth he would ever choose to do. Who did this man think he was? For the love of all that was holy, she was the daughter of Nathan Rhodes.
Where was her backbone? “R
est assured, Captain Jordan, you will never be forced into an unwanted marriage with me. You acquire females as if they were another novelty to store in your sea chest, without regard for the fact
that
no respectable man would marry a woman who is no longer pure and chaste.”

             
Joshua’s nerves were almost
at the breaking point. With his jaw set and his eyes smoldering, he said,
“All that you say may be true, Lynna. However, at the time I was acquiring
you
, I
do not
recall hearing any grievances uttered from your side of the bed.”
             

             
Her gasp echoed around the cabin and Lynna wanted no
thing more than to claw the arrogant
expression from his face with her fingernails. “I will hate you until my dying day for the agony you have caused me. I can only pray that my father tracks you down, and we both know
that
he will, and shows absolutely no mercy when he does. Now get out! I never want
to see you again! Ever!
”

             
Ignoring her temper tantrum, Joshua tried reasoning with the girl.
“Lynna, believe me, the odds are definitely not in fa
vor of your having conceived
the very first time. You are working yourself into a dither for naught. Why not wait and see what happens and let us concern ourselves with this matter of marriage when
,
and if
,
it is forced upon us
?
”

             
Lynna had never felt hatred before, but she felt the emotion full force now. He was so tranquil, when her entire life was in shambles. He would have no trouble turning his back and walking away without a care. She could only stare at him, her feelings accurately mirrored in her sky blue gaze. He had performed the vacuous act of sex with her, plain and simple, just as Malcolm had tried to do. Just as any man would try, evidently. And she would suffer the consequences of his actions… alone.

             
Then a humorous thought struck her and she laughed aloud as she suddenly realized her father was sending her to Georgia to live. Yet, when she arrived she
would not
be allowed to linger for long. Not after her
tante
learned of her impossible to conceal condition. They would send her packing to avoid the shame, scandal, and malicious gossip
,
just as Miss Johnson's relatives had done with their daughter. Whose threshold would she eventually wind up on? She ceased laughing as a single t
ear rolled down her cheek and
she heard the door close behind him.

             
It was a pale and drawn Joshua who brought Lynna's dinner tray three weeks later. His haggard
appearance v
alidated the fact that he’
d
had little sleep during the past few weeks.
T
his thrilled Lynna to the very core, almost making her giggle. Heaven knows she would laugh out loud at anything today. After a wretched night of painful cramps and discovering
that
she was not with child, she had longed to cavort across the deck, laughing, shouting, and singing praises to the high heavens.

             
She could not yield to the desire
,
however, for Joshua might witness her sudden merriment and guess the truth. That could not be permitted to happen. Not if she could help it. She faced the window to conceal the light she knew must be dancing in her eyes.

             
Her intent was to make him suffer as much as she had
, if that was possible. Preferably
for the
remainder of his miserable life! F
orce
d several times to hide her smile behind her hand, s
he
knew she
must be more careful and wipe all signs of merriment from her face, for Joshua was a very perceptive man and had been known to enter without knocking. Had he done so this tim
e he would have caught her spinn
ing gaily around the cabin without a care in the world.

             
“Lynna, I have decided to return to my cabin,” he announced immediately upon entering.

             
“
Non
! You will do no such thing!” she insisted, whirling to face him. With her hands on her hips and her breasts thr
ust forward she made an alluring
sight. “I fear I must decline the invitation of your company, sir, for I can assure you that you and I shall never again occupy the same living quarters.”

             
“Oh contraire, my pet.” He smiled wickedly. “I feel I must insist. Since you obviously carry my child, I find no logical reason for us to remain apart. The damage has been done, so we have naught else to fear. We can make love to our hearts
’
content. And you requested that we be wed, did you not?”

             
When she failed to answer
,
he continued, “I have come to grant your most fervent wish. When we arrive in Charleston we will be married and spend the remainder of our days as husband and wife. You, me, and our adorable offspring. Of a certainty, my parents have beseeched me for years to wed and present them with at least a dozen grandchildren.”

             
He burst out laughing at her look of stricken horror. “I can be very persistent, Lynna, and I assure you there will be no changing my mind on this point. I have give
n the matter careful consid
eration and decided
that
I cannot see my child raised without a father. I shall go now and have my belongings returned to my cabin.”

             
“
Non
!” she almost screamed the word. She could not allow him to return to his cabin
and
risk a repeat performance of
their
first night
together
. “That will no
t
be necessary, as I have recently discovered
that
I am not
enceinte.
”

             
“Yes, I guessed as much,” he said, eyeing her with disdain. “
However, you did not plan on enlightening me, did you?”

             
“Quite honestly,
non
. You
do not deserve the truth. A
lthough, I must give credit where credit is due. You have taught me a great deal these past few weeks. I have acquired more knowledge while onboard your ship than I learned in the last seventeen years at the Chateau. For that m
uch, I am grateful. I feel
certain I can
now
face my new life and any obstacles or hardships that happen my way after this journey with you.
” She paused to gaze across the ocean toward her homeland. “
But I
do no
t
believe I will ever forgive my father, or Gertrude, for keeping so much vital information from me. If I had been better informed
,
none of this would have happened. I would have known to steer clear of a rogue like you, Captain Jordan.”

             
She moved to stand
before him, her cerulean eyes locked with his, her moist lips inches from his own. Before she knew what was happening, Joshua had her in his arms and his soft lips found hers. Lynna wanted desperately to respond to his embrace, give free rein to her rising passion and enjoy the ecstasy she remembered so well. But she could not. She would never grant him forgiveness or risk living through the hell of the last few weeks again. She slapped him soundly across the face. A slap that was woefully late in coming.

             
“
Don’t
ever do that again, Lynna,” Joshua gritted as he rubbed his reddening cheek. “Yes, you have been through
a trying ordeal. But so have I.
I cannot remember when I last slept for more than an hour at
a
time or ate a meal without worrying if you were also eating. But do not vex your pretty little head. If I ever touch you again it will be because you begged me to!”

             
“Hah!” She laughed, harshly. “Beg you? I pray
that
I never lay eyes on you again!”

             
“It seems you will get your wish. We will be docking in Charleston within the hour.” He stopped, turned at the door, and whispered, “Au revoir, Lynna.”