Lying Love (Lazy Love Book 3) (4 page)

“I don’t know! I love him, but I’m so scared he’s going to break my heart again! I told him I wouldn’t date him unless Nicki was allowed to come along, so he agreed to that.”

Valerie smiled at Amber. “You’ve loved him all this time. I know you have. I think you need to see what happens. Give him a chance.”

Amber looked at Valerie. “I’m scared. I don’t know if I can survive having my heart broken by him again.”

Valerie reached out and covered Amber’s hand with hers. “He’s not going to break your heart again. It sounds like he reacted predictably, and you flew off the handle, which caused a chain reaction. You dated Brian the idiot, and he dated Kayla the sleaze bucket. You both got hurt. Can you handle dealing with Nicki, knowing she’s Kayla’s child?”

“That doesn’t bother me. She’s also part of John. She’s the cutest little thing. I was worried she watched our show, and I asked, but she said
Sesame Street
was more her thing.”

May laughed. “Sounds like a sweet kid.”

“She really is. I want to keep her forever.”

“Enough to trust John with your heart?” May asked.

“No idea.”

“You know that I didn’t trust Bob when I married him, right? I couldn’t believe he saw something in me that he thought was worth marrying, and I turned him down over and over.”

Amber made a face. “But you married him within a week of meeting him!”

“He proposed within hours.” May shook her head. “I had to remind myself that I believe in love. I had to get up the courage to grab the brass ring and live my life, opening myself to love. It was hard, but I did it, and you know how much in love Bob and I are.”

Amber rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I heard all your mushiness the night of the Emmys.”

“It didn’t kill you!”

“Maybe not, but I’m sure I’m scarred for life!”

Valerie grinned at Amber. “I think our situation was the opposite, because I didn’t know I loved Jesse, but he knew he loved me. He put everything on the line to get me to marry him, and I’m so glad he did. I don’t know that I’d have had the guts to stay away from Curtis otherwise.”

All three of them knew that Curtis had abused her and later kidnapped her sister. He was currently serving time in a maximum security prison and wouldn’t be out for a very long while. “How’s Rikki?” May asked, seemingly out of the blue.

Valerie sighed. “My sister's doing better now that we have her settled in Culpepper. She’s working for the bakery that I told you about, and she’s staying with a widow during the time that Jesse and I are away. She can’t stay by herself without getting scared yet. I know she’ll eventually get over it, but she’s refusing to continue with therapy. She said she needs to become stronger.”

“She’s probably right.” Amber had only met Rikki once, and that had been the night she’d been rescued from her kidnapper. She was a sweet girl, and Amber wished she had a magic wand to just make her better.

The girl that brought their food sneered at May. “I hear you’re pregnant.” She slammed down their plates.

May nodded. “Yes, I am. How are you, Tiffani? You look tired.”

“We don’t all sit around all day, doing whatever we want!” Tiffani said, turning away from them.

“Who was
that
?” Amber asked.

May sighed. “We’re talking about
your
ghosts. We’ll save mine for later.”

Amber looked between her friends. “So you both think I should go for it?” She decided to wait until May was ready to talk about the rude server. She’d seen the girl many times before, but she’d only ever been nice, so she wasn’t certain what the problem was now.

Valerie nodded. “Give him a chance. Pretend you just met him and start over. Don’t hold the past against him.”

May nodded. “I agree. I think it was all a set of mistakes by both of you. Don’t give up on love because of something that happened when you were seventeen. I want you to be happy.”

“You don’t think I’m happy?” Amber asked.

May shook her head. “I knew you weren’t happy the first time I met you. It was always obvious there was something you weren’t telling people, and I guess that something is named John.”

Amber sighed. “I guess I should give him a chance. I don’t know what I’ll do when he breaks my heart though.”

“He’s not going to break your heart this time. If you go into it assuming he will, it’s only going to make you miserable. I know it’s hard, but you have to give him a fair chance. Pretend you just got out of high school, and you didn’t break up at prom. What would be your next step with him?”

Amber laughed. “I’d marry him on the spot, of course. Partially to annoy my mother, and partially because I still love him as much as I ever did.”

“What about the whole trust fund thing?” Valerie asked. “Not that you need it.”

Amber shook her head. “Now that I’m over twenty-one, I have access to it whenever I’m ready. I haven’t asked for access though, because I don’t need it.”

“Of course you don’t.” Valerie took a bite of her taco. “Baby boy sure does love tacos.”

May grinned, patting her own belly. “Baby Bob likes tacos too. I don’t think I’ll eat anything else for at least seven months.”

“Please don’t name that baby Bobbette,” Valerie pleaded. “I can’t imagine that would be good for anyone.”

May shrugged. “If he names her Bobbette, I’ll just call her Bobbi. Won’t hurt a thing.”

Amber shook her head. “And if it’s a boy?”

“We’ll name him Robert and call him Bobby. You know Bob. He loves the idea of having a Little Bob running around.”

Valerie sighed. “Bobbi or Bobby will be very loved by both parents. I guess that’s all that really matters.”

“I could name him Bucky, and it wouldn’t matter,” May agreed. “He or she will be loved.”

“I just hate the idea of Bob winning!” Amber exclaimed. “He seems to always get what he wants.”

“Sad, isn’t it?” May asked with a grin, taking a bite of her taco. “I needed this so badly!”

“You both had tacos on Friday!”

“And last night,” May and Valerie said together, and they all dissolved into giggles.

“You two are going to make me crazy. Who said you could both be pregnant at the same time?”

May shrugged. “I don’t recall asking. We’re both happy, though, so I guess you should rejoice with us.”

“I do. I just…I’m jealous.”

Valerie put down her taco and leaned toward Amber. “Stop being jealous. You have a chance at a future with the only man you’ve ever loved. Seize the day! Take your happiness in your own hands and make it happen! If you don’t, I’m going to let May write a love story for you!”

May made a face. “No one can stop me once I have it in my brain to write about someone. I might kill you off in a book if you don’t at least try to be happy with John.”

Amber laughed. “Like you’d kill someone in a book.”

May looked around her before leaning forward and whispering, “Let me tell you how I killed off that mean waitress who brought us our food!”

A
mber had been back
in her trailer for less than an hour when her cell phone rang. She looked at the display and closed her eyes, not wanting to have the conversation that was about to take place. “Hi, Mother.”

“Amber, when do you have time off from your little job?”

Amber plopped down on the couch, putting her feet up on her coffee table, only because she knew it would annoy her mother. “From my
little job?
I’m an actress, and I just won an Emmy. It’s called time off from filming.”

“Fine! When do you have time off from filming?”

“Not this week, but next.” Amber hoped her mother didn’t think she’d get to see her.

“I thought we could host a little welcome home party for you.”

“Why would I need a welcome home party? I’m not coming home!”

“You were seen having dinner with that awful boy you dated in high school. The one who followed the path of his parents and got his girlfriend pregnant.”

Amber sighed. “I had dinner with John. So what?”

“Well, I’m sure that means you’ll be marrying him. When you marry him, you’ll move back to Jupiter.”

Amber blinked, trying to follow her mother’s reasoning. “And why would I do that?”

“Because that’s where he lives. He’s training horses outside of town.”

“Why are you keeping up with his life? You hate him.”

It was her mother’s turn to sigh. “I don’t
hate
him, Amber. I just don’t think he’s good enough for you.”

“Well, your opinion ceased to matter five years ago. No, I don’t want a welcome home party. I’m not marrying John. I’m just going out with him.”

“You know he’s divorced, don’t you?”

“I do know that. I know he’s free to date me again. You have nothing to do with any of it.”

“Fine. Don’t think you’re getting your trust fund when you marry him.”

Amber shook her head. “Mother, if you had any idea what I make, you wouldn’t be mentioning the trust fund. Please, let me live my life.” She knew as well as her mother that she could have had it any time after turning twenty-one. Her mother had no control over it any longer.

“I’ve done the best I knew to do with you. Please, come home for a visit.” Her mother’s voice sounded small, and Amber almost caved, but she knew the experience would be a disaster. Her mother was a master of manipulation.

“I’ll come see you when I’m ready, but I need to decide what I’m going to do about John first—without your interference.” Her feelings were confusing enough without adding in her mother’s nonsense!

“When have I ever interfered?”

“Goodbye, Mother.”

There was a dramatic sigh. “Goodbye, Amber.”

Amber put her phone down beside her and leaned her head back against the couch. A year ago, a call like that would have had her running to Valerie and pouring her heart out. It was harder now that Valerie and Jesse had finally married.

It wasn’t that Amber was sad her friend was happy. She was thrilled for her. She just wished things were still the same between them. They couldn’t be, and she understood that, but she missed the way their friendship had been.

Her phone rang against. “What now, Mother?” she asked as she answered.

There was a pause. “It’s John. I wanted to see if you would like to go on a picnic with Nicki and me this evening? We could ride down to the river like we used to.”

“I have a feeling it will be nothing like it used to be,” Amber said without thinking. She hadn’t meant to be so flirtatious, but the words came out before she could stop them.

He chuckled. “Probably not with Nicki around, but I could find her a sitter.”

“No, I want her to be there with us. I want her to know how important she is.” She thought about her schedule for the next day. Her first scene was early, but they wouldn’t stay out too late with Nicki anyway, she was sure. “I have to be in by eight or so. I have a sunrise scene to film in the morning, which means I need to be up by four.”

“That’s no problem. I’ll pack a picnic. Do you want me to come get you? Or do you want to drive out here?”

Amber thought about it for a moment. “Come get me if you would. Do you know where the set is?” She had no desire to be alone anywhere close to Jupiter. If she happened to run into her mother and John was there, nothing would be said. If she was alone, she wasn’t sure what would happen.

“I do. I’ll see you at five. Does that work?”

“Works fine. See you then.”

She stared down at her phone for a moment, smiling. She was going on another date with John in a little more than an hour. He had the means to mess up her life, but as her friends had said, he had the means to make her happy too. She was going to let things happen as they would. She couldn’t snub her nose at happiness again.

* * *

J
ohn looked
down at Nicki and gave her a thumbs up. “We’re going to pick Amber up in an hour. Let’s go to the grocery store and get picnic stuff.”

“Can we use the real picnic basket?” she asked, bouncing up and down excitedly.

The picnic basket had been a gift from his mother for Christmas one year, and it had never been used for anything but teddy bear picnics. “Yeah, get the picnic basket.”

She hurried off to grab the basket while he got his car keys. She ran back to him, taking his hand. “Let’s go, Daddy. I want Amber to be my new mama.”

“I know you do, precious. I want her to be your new mama too.”

“Do you think we can make it happen?”

He shrugged. “We can only try.”

They stopped at the grocery store and got what they needed before making the drive to the set. It was only a fifteen-minute drive from his ranch, and he’d driven past more times than he could count over the last four years, hoping to see her out filming, or doing anything really. He had caught her on horseback a few times, but he’d always just driven on, not feeling like she was ready for him to come back into her life.

When he arrived at the set, he got out, not sure where to go from there. He saw Jesse Savoy standing beside one of the trailers, so taking Nicki’s hand, he walked over to him. It was a little strange to talk to someone you’d really only seen on television until the day before, but he could do it. “I’m looking for Amber Knight’s trailer.”

Jesse looked him up and down. “You John?”

John nodded, surprised the other man knew his name. “I am.”

“Don’t hurt her.” The words weren’t so much a threat as a command.

“I won’t.” John wanted to say more, but he was aware that little ears were listening. “Where can I find her?”

Jesse pointed. “Two trailers down.”

“Thanks.” John walked with Nicki toward the correct trailer, hoping the little girl wouldn’t ask about the exchange.

“Why does he think you’re going to hurt Amber?” she asked, not surprising him at all. His little girl was exceptionally bright, and though it was hard at times like this, he wouldn’t have her any other way.

He sighed. “When Amber and I dated in high school, things between us didn’t end well. We loved each other, and wanted to be together forever, but her parents didn’t like me. So we broke up, and we both ended up getting our hearts hurt.”

“That’s very sad,” Nicki said solemnly.

“It is. It was a hard time for both of us, and people don’t want to see that happen again.”

“Me neither. If you hurt her, she won’t be my new mama.” Nicki definitely knew what she wanted.

“No, she won’t. I’ll do my best to make sure neither of us get hurt, okay?”

Nicki nodded. “Here it is!”

John took a deep breath and knocked. When the door was opened, he stared up at her. She looked just as she had five years before. It was as if all the years between had slipped away. Yesterday she had been wearing dress clothes, and seemed much too adult to him.
This
Amber—this was the girl he remembered. She wore shorts and a tank top, and her hair was in a French braid down the middle of her back. This was the girl he loved.

“Hi, you,” he said quietly, his heart in his throat.

“Hi.” She stared at him for a moment, her eyes connecting with his. She locked the doorknob before she closed the door. “Hi, Nicki.”

“Hi, Amber. My daddy promised that man over there that he wouldn’t hurt you so you can be my new mama.”

John felt his face turn red. He hadn’t blushed in years, and here he was, blushing again just because Amber was there. What was it about her?

“He did? Jesse made you promise not to hurt me?”

John nodded, still embarrassed. “Yeah. He seems to care about you a lot.”

“He does. He and Bob are the big brothers I never had. They both make sure that I’m taken care of.”

“I think that’s great.”

“I do too,” she said. “What’s this about me being Nicki’s new mama?”

He sighed. “Nicki has decided you’re going to be her new mother. She doesn’t remember her first mama, and she has always stared at our prom picture in my bedroom, saying that was who she wanted to be her mama.”

Amber smiled at that. “Why is our prom picture up in your bedroom? I didn’t even know you’d purchased our prom pictures.” She liked the idea of him having one as a memento, though. She liked the idea of him keeping any of their memories close, because she’d felt forgotten by him for a long time.

He shrugged. “Of course I did. I always figured we’d get back together. And that was the last night we were happy.”

“You thought we’d get back together?” she asked, surprised.

He nodded. “I knew I couldn’t spend the rest of my life without you.”

She felt tears prick her eyes at his words. “I’m not sure what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just know that I still care about you and always have. I always will. Being with you is as important to me as air. I can’t believe I survived for so long without you beside me.”

Nicki hurried ahead and stood beside a red truck, waiting for him to open the door. He turned to Amber for a moment, while they were out of his daughter’s hearing. “I want you to know that I mean what I say. I’m not trying to make you do anything you don’t want to do. I’m not lying to you. I still love you, Amber, and I want you to be a part of my life.”

“So Nicki can have a mother?” Amber had to ask. She knew it was probably insensitive, but she needed to know if that was his goal. She just hoped he wouldn’t lie to her.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you to be Nicki’s new mother, but that’s not all I want. If I just wanted a mother for her, do you think I’d be pursuing a popular actress? Or find a girl in Jupiter whose biggest goal in life is to get married and have babies? There are plenty of them around, and it wouldn’t be hard to marry one.”

Amber thought about that for a moment, her eyes meeting his green ones. “She chose me, though.”

“Yeah, she did. But she chose you, because she knew you were the one I wanted. Keep that in mind, please.”

He led her to the truck and opened the back door so Nicki could scramble in, before opening Amber’s door. “Don’t forget to buckle up, Nicki.”

“I won't, Daddy. I’m only safe when I’m buckled.”

“That’s right.”

“You buckle too, Amber. We want you to be safe!” Nicki called.

Amber reached for her shoulder belt and pulled it over, snapping it into place. “I’m safe now, Nicki.”

John shut the door of the truck and walked around, getting in beside Amber. He started the truck and then reached for her hand. “It feels like old times.”

She laughed. “We never had a child with us during the old times.”

“No, we didn’t. Does it bother you?”

“How could that beautiful little girl bother me?” she asked. “She’s a part of you.”
And I love her because I can’t stop loving you.

As he drove he kept glancing over at her, as if he was afraid she’d disappear. Nicki talked on and on about something she’d seen that week on television while she stayed with her grandmother.

“Do you like being with your grandma all day?” Amber asked.

“Yeah, she’s really nice. I’d rather have a mama, but I don’t get to decide when my daddy will get me a mama. I just get to help decide which mama, and I want you.”

“That’s really sweet of you.”

“No, it’s smart. Daddy loves you, so you need to be the one to make us a whole family.”

Amber didn’t know what to say to that, so she stayed quiet.

John pulled into his driveway and got out of the truck. “Nicki can ride, but she can’t keep up on rough terrain, so she’s going to ride with me. Do you mind taking the picnic basket?”

Amber shook her head, getting down out of the truck and following him to the stable. “I get to ride for work a lot, but it’s not the same as riding with you.” She hadn’t meant for the words to slip out. What was it about him that had her feeling like she was living in the past?

“I hope not. You haven’t had a love interest on the show yet, so you haven’t ridden with someone special to you.”

Amber’s mother had hated horses, and she’d always been against Amber going out on rides with John. Amber had ignored her worries and done what she wanted to do, which had been her response to everything where her mother was concerned.