Luscious Sins (Bend to My Will #7) (2 page)

“Isn’t there a way to experience the thrill of the playroom and still be in love?” Vivienne looked into his blue eyes, hoping he had an answer.

“I suppose there will have to be. I haven’t tried anything like that, but then I haven’t known a woman like you before,” Jacob ran his fingertip over her lips. “It’s not right for me to judge what you feel. But I didn’t expect you to confess love. I didn’t see that coming.”

“I do love you, Jacob.”

Jacob looked momentarily sad. “I wish I could give you what you need, baby. From the beginning, I tried to tell you that I’m not a romance guy,” he said. “But…I want you to know that I accept your vow of love, in the spirit in which it is given.”

Tears formed in Vivienne’s eyes.

“Love combined with the intense sex play we share can be deadly. It has the potential of destroying all that we have.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Vivienne said.

“I hope you’re right,” Jacob said. “We’ll have to play by our own rules, and find a way to make it work.”

Vivienne kissed his lips. “We
will
make it work.”

Jacob dug his hand in her hair. “I’m glad to hear you say that, baby…very glad.” He leaned closer, his lips only a fraction away from hers. “Because I crave you…insanely.” Then he kissed her so deeply that Vivienne was lost in the moment, in the arms of the man she loved.

Chapter 2

Jacob had wrestled with his emotions over the situation with Vivienne. He wanted her as much as ever, and was relieved that she didn’t expect more from him. It seemed she was satisfied with his acceptance of her vow of love, although he couldn’t reciprocate.

It wasn’t that Jacob wasn’t crazy over her, because he was. But he couldn’t make a statement of love, no matter how much Vivienne wished he would. Vivienne’s willingness to defy danger, by combining play with love, touched him. He needed her so badly.

Jacob couldn’t give Vivienne the romance she dreamed of, but he could satisfy her in other ways. He intended to do that, even more than before. Vivienne was an amazing woman, and she deserved that much. With the issue between them resolved for now, desire consumed him.

After slipping off her nightgown, Jacob made love to her. It was hot, passionate, but also sweet. That was Vivienne. She brought out feelings in him that Jacob didn’t know he was capable of. In the darkness, the scene was as intimate as any in the playroom.

With Vivienne naked against him, fire filled his veins. Jacob kissed her ravenously, craving her taste, and breathing in her scent. Buried deep, he felt her tighten over him and cry out with pleasure. Vivienne shattering underneath him was ecstasy, and propelled Jacob into a powerful release of his own.

Warm and satisfied, Jacob held Vivienne in a strong embrace until she fell asleep. Long after, he relished the feel of her in his arms, the scent of her perfume, and he wondered what he had gotten into. Yet he had no inclination to turn away, only to continue what they’d started.

Jacob hadn’t dealt with a woman like Vivienne. He was out of his depth, as he so often found to be the case with her. As willing as she was to submit, it hadn’t been easy to control her. Vivienne was strong-willed and independent, and not a woman who could acquiesce, just because he didn’t permit falling in love.

Vivienne meant a lot to Jacob, and he had something in mind for her. He’d been working on it for a while, so it should come off well. Especially after her admission of love, a sentiment he didn’t take lightly, he planned to give her something special. He hoped it created the effect he intended.

*****

The next morning after Vivienne left for her apartment, Jacob went out for a run. It was hot and humid, as to be expected for mid-August. He was shirtless, wearing shorts, but soaked with sweat. The days could be unbearable, but at least the early mornings cooled to the seventies.

An image of a man with cold blue eyes, short-cropped brown hair, and full lips flashed in his mind. It was his biological father, alive and well in his memory. The drunk had been in his twenties then, but without any youthful spirit. “
Come here, Jacob
.”

After all these years, Jacob still shuddered. His father had rough beard growth, which added to his frightening look. “
Did you hear what I said?
” But Jacob was moving away, looking for a place to run, somewhere to hide. As a young child, his father looked bigger than his five feet eight.

To Jacob, he had looked like a giant, one with big muscles, a man who was heartless. When very young, Jacob had sought his father’s approval. That faded when no matter what he said or did as a child, it warranted brutal punishment.

The cruel eyes, the deep, scratchy voice, and the nauseating smell of cheap cologne stayed with Jacob. Too often yanked close to his father, and unable to escape, the overpowering smell of alcohol had made Jacob feel ill.

Now out jogging, separated from the incidents by many years, Jacob fought the flashbacks. As he sprinted over the path along the reservoir, the buildings on the other side a blur, Jacob blinked. The haunting memories wouldn’t go away, and the more he tried to forget, the stronger they became.

Talking with Vivienne about his abusive childhood had been inevitable. Yet sharing his dark past was like opening Pandora’s box; it let the evil out. That was one reason Jacob had avoided therapy. It hadn’t helped much when he was young, and as an adult, he found it was better to keep the horror locked away.

Now the lock had been broken. Vivienne knew about him, and she surely would ask more questions. When she probed, it brought the demons back to life. Jacob fantasized about having a silver blade, a magical one that could slay those dragons. It was something he pretended as a child, a shred of hope he had clung to. But such a blade didn’t exist, except in a child’s imagination.

There was no course of action that would save him, and no way to repress the pain into oblivion. Jacob winced at seeing his father’s face right in front of him, as if it was real. It was frightening, even now. He shuddered at the horrible memories, digging deep for the strength to obliterate them.

Jacob doubted that he would be able to do so. If he hadn’t so far, the future was unlikely to be any different. He had stifled crying out at the sound of the cord striking his small body, and recoiled at the overwhelming sense of weakness. If only he’d been able to fight back, but he hadn’t been big enough, or powerful enough.

All Jacob had been able to do was block out the sharp impact of the whipping. Early on, he’d learned how to make his body numb. It was as if he was watching from above, not really there. His father hadn’t known about that. If he had, Carl Hahn’s fury might have been the end of Jacob. As it was, he had often feared his father’s temper would result in death.

Jacob ran faster, breathing deeply, his lungs pulling in precious oxygen. It felt good to run. As a child, he had imagined running so fast that nobody would have been able to catch him. Only that wasn’t reality, and it didn’t help him any more today than it had then.

The flashbacks had been coming more frequently, sometimes appearing more real than the world around him. So far Jacob hadn’t mentioned them to Vivienne. And as far as he knew he hadn’t acted too weird when they were together. Something about her presence was a good thing.

With Vivienne close, the nightmares had lessened. And even if Jacob flashed back, without warning, the image seemed fleeting. It was as though Vivienne had more power than his demons, but he didn’t see how. Surely he was losing his mind, still lost in a childlike hope that he could be saved.

Jacob headed back to the penthouse, increasing his pace instead of slowing. The punishing run was cathartic, as the harder he sweated and the more his lungs ached, the more rejuvenated he became. If he had tried harder, he could have bested his abusive father.

There was always the regret that he hadn’t pushed hard enough, hadn’t done more, and thus the asshole had come out on top. Jacob wished he could go back that turning point and redo the crucial moment. Yet the opportunity had long since passed, leaving him only with regret.

*****

When Jacob arrived at the office, he walked past Meg’s desk. She greeted him then brought him up to date. “There are some messages on your desk. And your meeting is set for later this morning.”

“Thanks, Meg.” His assistant wore her auburn hair down, and with the spattering of freckles across her nose, she looked more like a teenager than a twenty-three-year-old. “And tomorrow night?”

“All arranged.” Meg beamed at him.

“Much appreciated,” Jacob said. “Vivienne is already a big fan of yours. This will cinch it.”

“I hope so.” Meg returned to her work. For all her lightheartedness, she was focused when it came to business.

At his desk, Jacob checked in with Grayson, and his general manager assured him the new project they’d discussed was on target. There was a manila folder on his desk from Walsh. Even though the man was deft with a computer, and could even hack into one if the occasion called for it, he still provided hard copies of reports.

Jacob read through them, noting that his investigations department had turned up a lot of information recently. They were keeping up with the competition, providing vital intelligence to keep it that way. And they continued to track Daniel Kenyon’s movements. Still there was nothing conclusive about the man’s true goal, and his strategy remained indecipherable.

Midmorning, Jacob called his president Zach to ask him to take over for a few hours. “I’ll have Meg route any urgent calls to you while I’m at Williamson Imports.”

“I’m impressed that you managed to set up that meeting,” Zach said. “I’m sure that Sam has retained his respect for Rinaldi, even if his stepson thumbs his nose at us.”

“Yes, I can’t imagine Sam refusing to speak with me. He and my father worked together for too many years for him to write us off that easily.”

“His friendship with Vico has to mean something,” Zach said. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“I’d rather have you here as support,” Jacob said. “And I have a hunch Sam will be more willing to listen if it’s just the two of us. I’m not going to challenge him. We’ve known each other too long. I just want to make sure he is aware of what’s really going on.”

“You know best. I’ll be a call away, if anything comes up.”

Once again, Jacob was appreciative of his strong team. There were still a few men on the board of directors who had worked with Vico, although most had retired. The current team was Jacob’s pick, and if he’d done one thing right, it was choosing each for their trustworthiness as well as capability.

Leaving the crew in charge, Jacob grabbed his phone and left for the meeting. It was too humid out to walk over to Williamson Imports, so he caught a cab. The competitor occupied several floors of a Midtown building. Jacob had been to their New York headquarters many times, even as a young boy, when he had visited by Vico’s side.

The receptionist knew him well. “Good morning, Mr. Rinaldi.”

“Good morning, Helen. I think Sam is expecting me.”

The middle-aged receptionist stood up to usher Jacob to the office. “That’s okay. I know my way.” He smiled at her, and she went back to her seat.

The company was one of Rinaldi’s biggest competitors, despite the fact that Sam and his father had been friends for so long. In the early days, they’d helped each other out, and it seemed that neither had forgotten. Friendship, even in business, was valued by both families.

The door was open and Sam sat at his massive glass and chrome desk. In the old days, he’d had a heavy oak desk, but slowly things had changed. The new office décor, sleek and modern, was just a sign of other significant progress into the modern world.

“Jacob, it’s good to see you.” Samuel Williamson was formidable. Standing well over six feet, with wide shoulders, he cast an impressive figure. He kept his brown hair buzzed short, and he dressed well, though not expensively. Sam’s philosophy of life didn’t include flaunting wealth, although he had plenty of it.

Jacob stepped up to the desk and shook hands. “Hi, Sam. Thanks for seeing me.”

When Sam waved at the chair, Jacob took a seat. For a few minutes, they talked about family. “Vico and Sophia are traveling right now, but I expect them to be back in New York soon,” Jacob said.

“I envy your father his freedom.”

“Are you considering retirement?”

Sam leaned back in his chair. “At one point it seemed like a possibility. I even discussed it with my management. But with the shape the company is in now, I have to put that off.”

“I heard you were having some trouble.”

Sam nodded. “There are no secrets in our industry, are there? And it seems that those that want to usurp our position as one of the leaders are all too quick to leap upon bad news. I’m sure they’d like nothing better than to see us go under.”

Jacob crossed one ankle over the opposite knee, intending to take his time with this conversation, to be certain it stayed on course. “I don’t know who wants to usurp your position, Sam. I’m not aware of that. Of course, any company would be proud to do as well as Williamson, but that doesn’t mean they want to witness your company’s demise.”

“I wish I could be sure,” Sam said.

“Can I ask you something?”

“I’ve known you most of your life, Jacob. Go ahead and ask.” Sam appeared calm, despite the subject of the discussion.

“What is Daniel Kenyon’s current position with your company?”

“You get right to the heart of the matter, don’t you?” Sam expelled a breath. “Dan would like to run the show, like you do at Rinaldi.”

“But?”

“I’ll just be honest with you. I’ve been at odds with my stepson. He doesn’t see things like I do, and it’s damn hard to get him to change,” Sam said.

“So why did you put him in management?”

“When I remarried, the relationship came with baggage.”

“You’re referring to Dan?”

“He can be a real prick. But…he’s my wife’s son.” Sam shrugged. “I’ve put up with a lot from him because of that.”

Before launching into his objection to Dan’s recent attack on importers, Jacob took a deep breath. Most of it Sam knew about, but his stepson had omitted several key details. Out of respect, Jacob told him all that he knew, including his theory that Daniel wanted to put the majority of distributors out of business.

For a beat, Sam was silent but appeared concerned. “I think you are making a leap there, Jacob. I know that Dan’s judgment is frequently off-base, but what you’re implying goes beyond that. I don’t think much of the kid, but I can’t accept that he is capable of intentionally destructive acts.”