Lured In (12 page)

“Did your folks know?” she asked. “Did they know you were out there, that you'd heard everything?”

“I didn't hang around to hear everything,” he said, his cheeks pinking a little. “I mean, jeez, the bladder's only so big, and if I didn't get to the can pretty soon, I was going to whiz all over the floor. But by the time I'd finished, I had a whole plan worked out to make Ma stay.”

“It must have been brilliant,” she teased gently, “since it clearly worked out so well.”

By this time he was almost smiling. Weird.

“It seemed simple enough: If I wasn't there, she'd stay, right?”

“Of course.” Jessie added an eye roll for good measure.

“I'd watched Da enough that I knew how to pilot the boats, but it was pretty dark and I wasn't sure I'd be able to see out the front window, so that wasn't going to work.”

“Kudos for figuring that out before you got halfway to Japan.” She lifted her mug, relieved to see him copy her, and took a sip. “I assume there was a Plan B?”

“There's always a Plan B.” Finn swallowed a mouthful of his coffee, then exhaled a long breath of contentment before saying anything else. “The rowboat.”

“You didn't.”

“Damn right.” Every sip of his coffee seemed to relax him more. “Problem was, I'd sprained my wrist the day before, so I couldn't wrangle both oars evenly and kept going in circles.”

It wasn't funny, the image of him in his pajamas (which, in Jessie's mind, were superhero long johns), trying to row himself away from the Buoys, so why were they both laughing?

“Da found me out there the next morning, curled up in the bottom of the boat, drifting around the cove.”

“Oh my God—what did he do?”

Finn's grin vanished, his mouth twisting a little to the side instead. “He told me that Ma was gone and to get my bloody arse up to the lodge because we had work to do.”

“She'd already left?” Jessie gaped. “When?
How?
”

Finn shrugged slowly. “I don't know.”

“Didn't you ask?”

“Uh, no,” he half-choked. “Asking too many questions was part of the reason she left, remember? I learned my lesson on that one.”

“But…” Jessie couldn't believe what she was hearing. “Ronan and Liam must have asked what happened.”

“Sure, but Da just told them to quit their sniveling, that she'd gone away for a while and that we'd have to make do without her until she came back.”

He didn't say anything else, but he didn't have to. Jessie knew full well they hadn't heard a word from Maggie since the day she left, but Jessie couldn't help but wonder if the little boy inside Finn still clung to the hope that she might come back one day.

God help them all if that day ever came.

Pushing that aside, she stared straight at him until he turned his head slightly and narrowed his eyes.

“What?” he asked, his voice wary.

“Did you ever tell Liam and Ro?”

Finn snorted so hard his mug shook in his hand.

“Why not? I bet if you sat down and talked—”

“Ha! Think about who you're dealing with here, Jess. Have you ever known any of us to have a big kumbaya moment?”

“No, but up until recently I'd never known any of you to get through a single conversation together without someone throwing a punch, either, and look at you all now.”

She was only kidding, but the truth was, the three of them had come a long way in the last four months. They argued, they yelled, and they even threatened to punch one another once in a while, but the actual number of swings thrown was getting fewer and fewer.

“I'm not saying you should all hold hands and sing campfire songs, Finn; I'm just saying that there's no way to fully understand why Maggie said or did what she did. But your brothers aren't her, and it's time you started having faith in the people who love you and trying to believe that no matter what you do, at the end of the day, they're still going to be here and they're still going to love you.”

“And you know this how?”

“Because I'm one of those people.” Jessie pulled her feet up on the chair and rested her chin on her knees. “You do and say things that piss me off all the time, and I'm still here, aren't I?”

It took a few seconds, but eventually the tension in his blue-green eyes softened, and his slow, easy smile made her smile, too.

“Yeah, you are,” he said. “How 'bout that.”

Lifting her mug, she pressed it against her mouth, tipped her head a little, and repeated his words right back to him.

“How 'bout that.”

“Keep calm and fish on.”

The next morning, Finn was up and gone bright and early with the male guests, while Kate took Marlene and Norma out for a shorter trip so they'd be back in time to catch their flight. As expected, the three Green-cabin women didn't make an appearance until the Cessna pulled up to the dock.

Jessie and Kate helped load the luggage, then stood back as the women settled themselves inside the Cessna. Before Jacqui climbed on board, she held out a scrap of paper to Jessie.

“Tell Finn to look me up next time he's in Edmonton.”

The snort was halfway out of Jessie's mouth before Kate reached in front of her, took the paper from Jacqui, and smiled bright and wide, as only Kate could.

“We'll be sure he gets this,” she said, nodding toward the waiting plane. “Watch your step there.”

And then, as Liam closed the door behind Jacqui, Kate reached over and pushed Jessie's bottom jaw closed with the tip of her finger.

“Come on; if we get those two cabins taken care of now, it's less work we'll need to do on Saturday. And while it's just the two of us, you can fill me in on what's new with you and Sam.”

It was a very short conversation. Jessie told her that he'd called, gave the
Reader's Digest
condensed version of what was said, and then immediately moved the conversation to Liam's shoulder and how his therapy was going. Worked like a charm, because Kate was always happy to talk about anything that had to do with Liam.

With a couple of hours to spare before the rest of the guests returned with Finn, Jessie and Kate checked a few more chores off the to-do list and were tidying the front yard when Kate stood up and leaned on her rake.

“Do you think we should give it to him?”

“Hmm?” Jessie kept on deadheading the marigolds in the planters along the railing. “Who?”

“Finn. D'you think he'd want Jacqui's number?”

Jessie's fingers jerked, accidentally snapping off a perfectly good bloom.

“Didn't seem to me like he was interested in any of them,” she said, her throat dry and tight.

“Yeah, maybe.” Kate went back to her raking, but now Jessie stopped and sat on her haunches.

“That didn't sound very convinced. You think he was into one of them?”

“Oh, I have no idea, and don't misunderstand me, I don't spend my time thinking about Finn's sex life, because ewww, but aside from taking guests out, the only time he leaves here is when he runs into Port Hardy for supplies, and so far as I know, he's never hooked up with anyone while he's there.”

“Yeah? And?”

“Come on, Jessie, he's a guy. If they're not thinking about sports or food, they're usually thinking about sex, and you have to admit, Finn's not hard to look at. I guess I sort of expected he'd be getting out there more, finding himself a little something, you know?”

“A little something.” Jessie couldn't decide if she thought that was funny or insulting. “He's not a man-whore, Kate.”

“I know,” she said, backpedaling a bit. “I didn't mean that, but what's he going to do? Hole up here with us for the rest of his life and never go out with another woman again?”

Sounded okay to Jessie.

“And I'm not saying he should hop the first flight to Edmonton and hook up with Jacqui or anyone else; I'm just saying maybe he should take a few days every once in a while and go meet some new people.”

“He meets new people here every week—and lots of them have been women.” Jessie swiped her sleeve up the side of her face, then sighed when she saw Kate's expression. “Okay, maybe not lots of them, but some.”

“Yeah,” Kate snorted. “And so far they've all been either barely legal or twenty years older than him. And I know you don't get out of here, either, but at least you have Sam coming up next month.”

“Sam and I aren't a couple, Kate.”

“You used to be, and if you'd put some effort in, I bet you could be again.”

“Doubt it.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing.” Jessie turned back to the pot of marigolds and ran her fingers through the dirt, wishing she'd never told Kate about Sam's phone call. “It's just that you and Olivia seem to think it's a foregone conclusion that he and I will sail off into the sunset together or something.”

Kate held up her finger and waved it back and forth.

“I never said ‘sail.' Did you ever hear me say anything like that? No.”

Jessie could barely work up the oomph to smile. “You're right, I'm sorry.”

“You
are
happy he's coming, though, right?”

“Of course I am.” Ugh, why did she have to sound so defensive?

“Are you sure? 'Cause you sure don't seem like it.”

“What are you talking about? I'm happy, okay?” And then to add emphasis, Jessie nodded. “I am!”

“Okay.” Kate didn't have to sound quite so obnoxious. “You might want to clue your face in, then, because what you call happy looks an awful lot like abject fear.”

“I'm not—” One look at Kate's skeptical expression and Jessie stopped. “Okay, maybe I'm a little nervous, but can you blame me? I mean, crap, Kate, he says he wants to talk to me about something in private and then basically throws it out there that things need to work out well if there's any hope for
Hooked
to film more episodes here at the Buoys. No pressure there at all!”

“What pressure? You like him, he likes you…” Kate pulled her hair band out, caught hold of the bits that had escaped, and retwisted everything into a knot. “You do like him, don't you?”

“Well, sure I do; he's a nice guy.”

“But?”

There wasn't a hope in hell Jessie was going to mention a single thought she'd had about Finn lately and how that was messing with her mind, because Kate would no doubt tell Liam and then things would get really ugly.

But there was something Kate might be able to give her some advice on—not that it had anything to do with Sam, but for future reference it might be helpful.

Jessie glanced around slowly, making sure neither Liam nor Olivia was lurking about, then sat cross-legged on the grass and shrugged.

“It's not so much a ‘but' as a…I don't even know. I'm sure it's not him, it's all me, so you have to promise not to laugh.”

Kate immediately ditched her rake and dropped to the ground next to her, her eyes wide and curious, as if she was expecting Jessie to spill national secrets or something.

She was about to be sadly disappointed.

Jessie ripped a few blades of grass out and started pulling them apart.

“Sam and I…well…Okay, here's the thing. Before him, I hadn't exactly been the queen of social-town, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh my God, Jessie, were you a virgin before Sam?”

“What?
No!
But maybe yell it a little louder so the rest of the world can join in on the discussion!”

With her hands slapped over her mouth, Kate already looked mortified for her outburst. “Sorry.”

With a long sigh, Jessie shook her head and lowered her own voice, too. “It's just that it usually takes me a while to get there with a guy.”

Kate's head lowered, then leaned in, waiting for Jessie to say more. When she didn't, Kate finished for her.

“Yeah? So what? It's not like TV, you know. You're not expected to hop into bed with a guy right off the bat.”

That wasn't it at all. Jessie had never been one to have sex with a guy just because she'd gone out with him a couple times.

“I mean…well, with Sam, for instance, it took me a couple months,” she said. “That's weird, isn't it?”

Kate's face scrunched a little, as if she was trying to process what she'd heard.

“Maybe…I don't know. It's not like there's a rule book.” Nobody winced like that if they didn't think something was over-the-top weird. “But what was the problem? I mean, come on—the guy's freakin' gorgeous!”

Jessie flopped forward over her bent legs, dropped her forehead to the ground, and groaned.

“Because I'm an idiot! Every time I go out with someone new, it's the same thing. Are you supposed to kiss him on the first date? From everything I've seen on TV, yes, you should, and if you believe that, then you're also supposed to be keen to get naked with him right away. But when you're standing there with some guy you've only known a couple hours and you don't ever expect to hear from him again…Ugh!”

Kate started laughing way before Jessie stopped talking.

“Oh my God,” she said. “You put way too much thought into this.”

“I know!” Jessie cried, sitting up so fast she made herself dizzy. “But this is the kind of shit that runs through my head every time I go out with a guy. Should I hold his hand? What if my hand's sweaty or dry? Or gross—what if his is? Am I supposed to kiss him? And if I am, then how am I supposed to kiss him? Peck on the cheek, full on the mouth, or what? What if I forgot my ChapStick in my other coat? What if I want him to cop a feel and he doesn't? Am I supposed to be the one to do it to him? And where's the dividing line that separates a girl who's interested in sex from the girl who comes off looking like a slut?”

Kate wasn't even trying to stop laughing, which should have pissed Jessie off, but instead it made her laugh, too.

“I'm serious, Kate, this is what it's like inside my head all the time, and don't even get me started on what goes through it when I actually do have sex with a guy! So do you see why I like it here, where I don't have to worry about any of that?”

“Oh my God, how have you
not
had an aneurysm yet?”

“Right?” Jessie's cheeks burned, but the more she blurted out, the funnier it seemed even to her. “Every time I'd go out with Sam, I'd be like, okay, this is it, I'll invite him in, we'll have a drink and…yeah.”

“And?”

“And by the time we got to the drink part I'd usually wigged my way into a migraine, so I ask you, Kate—
what the hell is wrong with me?
”

“That's an excellent question.” Disbelief smothered her laugh for as long as it took for her to say that. “Are you like that with every guy?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Jessie said, shrugging that lie and the thought of Finn completely out of her mind. Okay, maybe not
completely
. “And don't get me wrong, once I finally got past all that, things with Sam were fine, but jeez.”

“Fine?”
Kate gaped. “Are you kidding me? After all that, I'd have hoped things were better than just
fine
.”

Jessie ducked her head a little lower, hoping to hide some of the color she knew was flying up her cheeks.

“It was getting better,” she muttered. “But you know how it is, kind of awkward and clumsy the first couple times.”

“Uh, Jessie…” Again, Kate winced. “I hate to tell you this, but when you're with the right guy it's not awkward at all. Clumsy maybe, because you're in such a rush to get at each other, but awkward—uh-uh.”

“Are you shittin' me?” Ugh—could this get any worse? “It's always been awkward for me. I'm not saying it's been awful every time; some of it's been great, but it always starts out awkward. And then with Sam, we hadn't exactly ‘perfected' things before…”

“Before you moved back here so fast.” Kate sobered, the humor in her eyes shifting to warm compassion. “Losing Jimmy like that must have been so awful for all of you.”

Kate had never met Jimmy O'Donnell, but she loved his son like crazy, so what pained Liam pained her, and that came through crystal clear in her voice.

Jessie nodded, then smirked slowly. “Needless to say, having sex with anyone wasn't tops on my list of things to think about.”

“No, I guess not. Liam says you got out here even before him or Ro.”

It was the only time Jessie hadn't had a panic attack at the thought of traveling to or from the Buoys. She'd never flown in at night before, but the realization of that hadn't hit her until days later.

“Finn was alone.” She lifted her shoulder in a short shrug as the memory of that horrible time washed over her. “I couldn't just leave him here by himself.”

She'd told him she'd get there as fast as she could, but she doubted he'd expected her to arrive a couple of hours later, and the second that Helijet landed, she knew she'd done the right thing.

Finn had come out of the lodge as they landed but waited on the front porch until he realized it was her. She'd barely had both feet on the dock before he was there, hugging her so tight she thought she'd break.

Clearly, part of Finn already had.

“Hey.” The front door of the lodge swung open and out stepped Olivia, wiping her hands on her apron. “What are you guys doing sitting down there?”

Jessie hesitated, but Kate didn't. She just snorted and gave Jessie's shoulder a gentle shove.

“Trying to convince Jessie here that she should jump Sam's bones the second he sets foot on that dock.”

“Convince her?” Olivia choked. “I wouldn't imagine any hetero chick would need to be talked into anything with him.”

“Well,” Kate snickered. “It seems our friend Jessie here is a little worried that things won't go well.”

“No,” Jessie corrected. “The only thing I'm worried about is that he might be thinking I
want
to jump his bones when he gets here.”

Olivia wasn't even listening.

“It's like riding a bike,” she said, then rolled her eyes when Jessie and Kate stared back at her, aghast. “Okay, I didn't mean that sex is like riding a bike—or at least I hope straight sex isn't like riding a bike, 'cause that could be awkward. And painful. Ugh. I meant once you've done it, you know how it all works, so you just need to find your balance again.”