Lula Does the Hula (8 page)

‘She did,’ I said.

‘She’s going to be so embarrassed when she realises how rude that was, you know, not saying “Jack and Tallulah”.’

‘Sure,’ I said. ‘Maybe she just forgot my name.’

I regretted adding that, because Jack said, ‘That’s it. Yeah. I didn’t introduce you two properly, did I? I guess she’s just feeling a bit out of it too.’

‘Hn.’ What I really wanted him to say was: ‘That Jazz is
a despicable specimen of humankind! So repulsive! So vile! I never want to set eyes on her or her fantastic zoom lens ever again!’

Yep. I had a feeling that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. But I wasn’t complaining because instead Jack took my hand and locked his liquefying eyes on mine.

Then he paused, and his gaze dropped from my eyes to my mouth. He took a step towards me. ‘You’re so beautiful,’ he said, his voice quiet, and I would definitely have laughed out loud at this, but his lips were already brushing against mine, his arms pulling me close. I could feel his heart pounding beneath my hand as the kiss deepened, and my insides melted.

Oh. Wow.

When we got to Jack’s place, Jazz’s GTI was under cover at the side of the house. We squeezed past it to get to the back door just under the canopy.

‘You don’t go in the front?’ I asked.

‘Forest lost the key before we even moved in,’ said Jack.

‘Forest?’

‘My housemate. Big guy.’

If Jack was calling someone big, he must be huge, and
huge
just about sums up Forest Johnson. But not in a fat way. Oh no. All six foot five of his muscled frame was gracefully reclined on a saggy sofa in front of the telly.

‘Susie,’ he said as Jack walked over to him. They did a complicated handshake. Forest grinned, his teeth white against his ebony skin. His voice was low and rumbly with a lilt of West African French maybe. ‘I been watching this telly, but nothing. Where you at?’

‘Dude,’ said Jack, turning back towards me and the kitchen that opened into the living area. ‘It’s only on at seven, like I said.’

Forest heaved a deep disappointed sigh. ‘Right. I’ll stop watching, then. This is so depressing. Just a loop playing over and over about some missing schoolgirl.’ His eyes lit upon me. ‘Hey, did you know her?’

‘Do,’ I said. ‘I do know her.’ I said to Jack over my shoulder, ‘I can’t believe I forgot to say to you – a girl from Year Twelve has gone missing. Emily Saunders. Did you hear about that?’

‘Geez!’ said Jack, frozen in the act of taking out juice from the fridge. ‘Seriously? What do you know?’

I told the two of them the sketchy details, omitting the info that Alex was dating the guy who was supposed to be away on the weekend with Emily. That was for her to say. I checked my phone – still no reply from Alex – and tried to push it all to the back of my mind, telling myself that Emily was fine. She was an oddball. She probably gave Gavin the boot and took off for some remote me-time. I wouldn’t be surprised. But I kept that
to myself too. Jack was pensive, but Forest seemed to shrug it all off. He said, ‘Good thing the coppers around here are halfway decent, eh, Susie? She’ll be okay. They’ll sort it,’ and he unfolded himself from the saggy sofa. When he came to stand next to me in the kitchen, he dwarfed everyone in the room. ‘You must be Tallulah,’ he said to me. I nodded and shook hands. He grinned, then asked Jack: ‘You bring drinks?’

‘I knew there was something I forgot,’ replied Jack. ‘Arns is bringing the pizzas with Mona, isn’t he? I should have asked him to bring drinks too.’

I brightened, and dived into my schoolbag. ‘Actually,’ I said, ‘I brought two cartons of juice. It’s my favourite –’

A light tinkly laugh came from the living-room side of the kitchen counter. I looked up to see Jazz standing with her hand over her mouth, like she was trying to hide her embarrassment for me, holding up a bottle of champagne. She had changed from her skinny jeans and tiny T-shirt into a plunging halter-neck. And when I walked over I saw that her denim skirt was very, very mini. The worst was that she looked sensational. Her long black hair cascaded down her back and her eyes were beautifully made up. Frikly frokly frak.

‘I think the boys will be more interested in the Veuve Clicquot,’ she said to me.

‘Not likely,’ said Jack. He took the pomegranate juice
from me and unscrewed the lid straight away. ‘I want to be fully compos mentis tonight,’ he said. ‘Save that for later, Jazz.’ He opened a cupboard, pulled out some glasses and began pouring juice.

‘Sure, Jack,’ crooned Jazz. ‘
Later
.’

It was a serious act of will for me not to narrow my eyes and pull my lips back in a tiger snarl, but Forest must have seen something in my face.

‘I hear you’re a special lady,’ he said to me.

‘Er . . .’ I replied.

‘Jack tells me your grandma was a witch.’

‘Yes,’ I said, and Jazz snorted quietly. She’d put the champagne bottle down and was staring at me in a scary psycho way with her arms crossed.

‘My mama’s got some voodoo,’ noted Forest.

‘Whoa,’ I said. ‘Guess you were a well-behaved kid.’

He boomed with laughter. ‘You got some witchiness from your grandma?’

‘No,’ I said, ‘definitely no.’

Forest laughed again. ‘That’s what you think, missy. Got to have some magic to pull this guy here.’ He slapped Jack on the back, and Jazz’s face turned to thunder.

Jack’s grin faded when he caught sight of her expression. ‘Oh, Jazz! I’m sorry – you want some juice too?’ he asked, handing us our glasses.

‘No thank you, darling. I’m saving myself for the
bubbly,
later
,’ replied Jazz, the thunderous face fading to a flirty twinkle.

Jack’s mobile rang and he pulled it out of his back pocket. ‘Excuse me,’ he said, and stepped out of the back door.

I noticed that Forest and Jazz were staring at each other. And not in a good way.

‘Careful, Jazz,’ said Forest.

‘Oh, I’m being
very
careful,’ she whispered. ‘
You
,’ she shot me a look, ‘you’re the one who needs to watch out. Wouldn’t want your headmaster hearing how you’ve been drinking with students.’

I was struck dumb.

How unbliddybelievable was this woman?

Forest took a step towards Jazz. He was so close to her that she had to tip her head right back, which she clearly didn’t like. Her hands went to her hips, and she leaned away. ‘You mess with the witch girl, and you mess with the voodoo man,’ he rumbled. ‘Jack might be blind to your games, but the rest of us know what you’re all about.’

My jaw had dropped now, for sure.

‘Oh, I doubt that,’ breathed Jazz. ‘You think you can intimidate me? A brainless pile of brawn and a pathetic schoolgirl?’ She strode over to the telly and pointed a finger at an armchair just as saggy as the sofa. ‘See that chair,
Tatty
Bird? That’s Jack’s. The chair next to it is mine. That’s my place, next to Jack, and that’s the way it’s going to stay.’

I raised my eyebrows. Could this girl
hear
herself? Sheesh.

Forest laughed and clapped me on the shoulder. ‘You should know I’m not brainless,’ he said, smiling at me. ‘Just a little forgetful.’

Suddenly Jack yelled from outside: ‘AAAAAARGH!’

It sounded like he’d been run over twice by that hulking GTI.

‘JACK?’ I shrieked, bounding outside. ‘
Are you okay?
’

Please
let the jinx not have come back!

Yes! He was upright.

Yes! He had all his limbs – fingers, toes, everything.

I bounced up to him and gripped his biceps, staring into his face. ‘What happened? Is everything all right?’

He smiled at me as Forest loomed in the doorway behind us.

‘Man,’ he said to Jack, coming over to clap him on the shoulder. ‘Your girlfriend worries about you.’

Jack kissed me on the forehead, grinning from ear to ear. ‘I gave you a fright?’ he asked, and shoved his phone back in his pocket. ‘Sorry, Lula, but guess what! Another story!’

‘Oh,’ I said, burying my freakish fears with a relieved sigh. ‘Emily Saunders? Still not found?’

‘Whoa!’ laughed Jack. ‘You do have second sight!’

Jazz tinkled a derisive laugh from the doorway as Forest nudged past to go back inside. ‘Oh, hardly,’ she smirked,
her voice all sweetness and light. ‘I’ve just had a call about this from my contact at the police station. No need for Talluley’s guessing games. I’m on it, babe,’ she lilted.

Jack chuckled uncertainly at her tone, but glancing down at me his smile widened. ‘Well, Jazz,’ he said, and pulled me close. ‘Lula’s the best Hambledon High contact to have. If anyone’s going to find out anything about Emily Saunders, it’s going to be Lula.’

He pulled me into a warm hug, and while I didn’t want the moment to end I just had to murmur, ‘Alex is probably your best informer, and I’m not sure I like being called Talluley.’

‘Mm,’ said Jack, dropping a kiss on my temple that raised goosebumps over my entire body. ‘Not great, but Jazz is cool when you get to know her. I wouldn’t want the girls in my life not getting on.’

I didn’t reply, mainly because I was concentrating on not falling over in a dead faint as Jack’s lips moved to mine, but just as my eyes closed I caught sight of Jazz watching us with narrowed eyes, and my goosebumps just got bumpier.

The theme tune for Channel 4 News was already going full blast when Bingley Clarendon’s bright red pizza van pulled up in the drive with a screech and the parping of a horn.

The passenger door slammed open and Mona jumped out and sprinted for the back door. She burst in. ‘Is it on? Is it on?’

‘Where are the pizzas?’ asked Jack. I was pleased he had his priorities straight.

‘Hey, babe,’ said Jazz, lazily getting up from her chair right next to Jack’s. She bent forward and enveloped Mona in a
you’re practically my sister
hug, and reclaimed her chair.

‘Pizza coming!’ said Mona. ‘Have I missed it? Arns and Bingley took so long to come get me!’

Jon Snow was saying something about another outbreak of bird flu and wearing a tie that would work well with Blue’s fabulous cloak. The telly fuzzed for a second, melting the tie, but came back in focus when Forest clapped it expertly on the top right-hand corner.

‘Bingley was allowed to sign you out from the dorms?’ I asked.

‘Long story,’ said Mona, ‘but I’m here now.’ She threw
herself down in Jack’s chair and stared at the telly intently. ‘Those poor geese,’ she said.

‘Mona!’ said Arns from the doorway. He could barely see over the top of a pile of pizza boxes.

I laughed and went to take a bunch from him, reading out the toppings as I went. Jack was crashing around in the kitchen sorting out knives, forks and plates, and Forest was getting in everyone’s way looking for glasses. They were joking around, but I could see Jack had one eye on the telly the whole time.

‘Is it on yet?’ asked Arns.

Jack checked his watch. ‘Eight minutes. Bathroom break – door doesn’t lock, don’t come crashing in.’ He jogged out the room.

‘I can’t stay much longer after that,’ said Arns. ‘Got to get back to work with Bing.’

‘No!’ said me and Mona together.

Bingley Clarendon hove into view behind Arns. ‘Who wants the bill?’ he called.

‘I got it,’ I said, and pulled out the money from my little zip purse. Mum and Dad were treating us all – they were seriously impressed by Jack’s piece, and insisted on paying for a viewing party. And who am I to disobey my parents?

‘Oh, how sweet,’ said Jazz, rising slowly from her chair again and coming over. ‘Talluley’s spending all her pocket money in one go.’

Bingley Clarendon glanced at Jazz. And couldn’t look away. ‘Oh,’ he breathed.

‘This is Jazz,’ I said, mustering some manners. ‘Jazz, this is Bingley.’

‘Bingley,’ she said distinctly. ‘Well, Bingley, I hope you make good pizza.’ She pulled out a marguerita, claimed a serviette and got straight back to her chair.

Bingley swallowed. ‘I do,’ he said at last. ‘I make excellent pizza. He shot a look at Arns. ‘But we’re done for tonight, aren’t we, Arns?’

‘Whoohoo!’ yelled Arns with a delighted grin at Mona.

‘We’re gonna stay for the celebration,’ continued Bingley, gaping at Jazz. He hefted a barstool out of the kitchen and shoved it right up to Jazz’s armchair. ‘The
whole
celebration,’ he declared.

‘Great,’ said Jazz, taking careful bites of her pizza and dabbing at her cupid-bow lips after each one. ‘Just great.’

‘Bingley, you’re the best,’ said Mona, all happy and shiny. ‘Come sit here with me, Arns!’

Arnold loped over with an enormous box and squished into Jack’s armchair with Mona.

Jazz pinched her lips in discontent at Jack’s chair being taken, but made a big effort to smile nicely at Mona anyway.

I was about to claim the saggy sofa with Forest when a familiar roar and loud hooting interrupted Jon
Snow’s wrap-up of the bird-flu crisis.

‘Nooo,’ I moaned.

I heard car doors slam and the piping of an excited child.

In came Mum, Pen and Blue.

‘We thought you needed pudding,’ cried Mum, wielding Ben&Jerry’s Phish Food.