LUKA (The Rhythm Series, Book 2) (32 page)

I bristled immediately.

“You told them, didn’t you? That’s why she came over.”

He nodded guiltily.

“Sarah knew you would go. She had a right to know when.”

“She gave up her rights the moment she left us! You said you’d be there for
me!
I trusted you, Seth!”

“Don’t do the tour, Luka. Stay in London. That’s where Beth’s family is.”

I stared at him coldly.

“I’ve hired Marcie to come on the tour. She’s a qualified childminder. We’ll get all the support we need when we’re traveling—Ash is making sure of it.”

He closed his eyes briefly.

“Do you really think it’s right to take a baby as young as that on tour?”

“Why not? She’ll be with her father. I’ll spend more time with her than most new fathers! It’s not like I’ll be working 14 hours a day.”
Like you
.

Seth frowned. “Fair point, but I don’t think Mother will see it like that. She wants her first grandchild with her.”

“She’s the grandmother, not one of her parents, for fuck’s sake!”

“I’m just telling you how she’s thinking.”

“She’s the one talking Sarah into this, isn’t she?”

Seth sighed. “Sarah is very vulnerable at the moment. She’s not sure what to do. But you refusing to have her back, it’s made her . . . bitter.”

“Does she know about us?”

Seth’s eyes widened in panic. “No! And she’s not going to! We agreed.”

“For now,” I muttered.

“Luka . . .”

“Christ, no! Okay! I’ll be your dirty little secret! Again. When you feel like growing a pair of fucking balls, let me know.”

“That’s not fair!”

“The fact that your sister and mother are trying to take my daughter away is unfair!” I roared.

He scrubbed his hands over his face. “This is getting us nowhere. You should get a solicitor.”

“Yeah, like I can afford that,” I jeered. “Childcare for the time at the theater costs £40—for three fucking hours because she charges extra for the late nights. And she’s
still
doing me a favor at that price.”

Seth looked away. “I’ve got money,” he said quietly.

“I’m not taking your money.”

“But . . .”

“They’d use it against me. They’d just have to say that I couldn’t afford to look after Beth . . . and they’d find out about you.”

Seth grimaced.

“All rise for Judge Peyton.”

I swallowed and stood, my arms feeling empty without Beth in them, gazing at the woman who’d decide our fate.

I’d felt reasonably confident until this morning. I knew that as the birth mother, Sarah would automatically have custody and I’d be the one needing to seek any rights in a court, but because she’d been gone from Beth’s life for so long . . . well, I was hopeful. They
had
to give Beth to me. She wouldn’t even remember Sarah. It would be obvious to everyone that Beth needed to stay with me. She
needed
me.

But now, sitting in front of the judge, all my confidence crumbled away. Fuck, I should have gotten a lawyer.

Seth had bought me a suit to wear for my first ever court appearance. It was the only thing I’d let him pay for. I resisted the urge to tug at the tie around my neck, feeling choked and worried.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Sarah’s mother lean forward to speak to her sharply as she stood staring at me.

The judge was in her sixties, wearing a dark blue blazer and a neutral expression. She nodded at the court usher and took her seat as silence settled around us.

She glanced down at me.

“Mr. Kokot?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Do you have legal representation?”

“No, ma’am.”

She raised her eyebrows.

“I see. And Miss Lintort?”

A man in a sharp gray suit stood up and smiled. “Nathaniel Jones, Your Honour.”

My heart was pounding and my hands were sweating. I wiped them discreetly against the suit pants, and tried to calm the fuck down. It was impossible.

“Mr. Kokot, you are employed as a dancer in a West End musical.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I understand that this contract is to be terminated shortly, at your request.”

How the fuck did she know that?

I was stunned. Only one person knew that I’d already told Arlene and Kathryn no, and that I was heading to Chicago.

I turned to stare at Seth. His face was flushed, but he was staring straight ahead, refusing to look at me. And then it hit me: he’d told them everything.
Everything.

All this time, he’d been setting me up
.

I didn’t want to believe it.

“Not exactly, ma’am. I was employed on a short-term contract as a replacement for another dancer who had a fractured metatarsal.”

“Hmm, I understand that you had been offered a permanent contract at one point, which you chose to turn down in favor of a job in the United States where you will be touring for several months.”

I glanced at Seth again, anger in my eyes, but he refused to look at me.

I cleared my throat and turned back to the judge.

“Yes, but I’d already agreed to do the tour of
Life Circles
in the U.S. That came first. And it pays better,” I added lamely. “It’s better for my career.”

“If he takes Beth out of the country, there’s no knowing what’ll happen to her,” Mrs. Lintort said forcefully from the seat behind Sarah, while the lawyer guy tried to shut her down.

“What does that mean?” I snapped. “I wasn’t the one who ran off and left her!”

“My daughter was suffering from postnatal depression, as you well know. She has since sought treatment,” Mrs. Lintort said haughtily, shrugging off the solicitor’s arm.

“Miss Lintort will have her turn to speak,” said the judge, frowning over the top of her wire-rimmed glasses. “I want to hear from Mr. Kokot.” She turned her hawk-like gaze on me. “How did you meet Miss Lintort?”

I explained how Sarah and I had been friends, touring with
Slave
. And how that had all fallen apart after Beth was born.

“I understand that you requested Miss Lintort to get rid of the fetus?”

I sucked in a breath. “No! I never said that. I asked Sarah if she was keeping the baby, that’s all.”

“You called her ‘it’,” Sarah muttered.

I gripped the edge of the table. “We didn’t know she’d be a girl,” I snapped at her.

Her eyes dropped to her lap and I felt like such a shit.

“Mr. Kokot, you are not named on Beth’s birth certificate.”

My mouth dropped open. “I’m not?”
How the fuck had I not known that?

Her sharp eyes locked on mine and I thought I saw a flicker of emotion in them.

“No. And this means that legally, Miss Lintort automatically has full custody in normal circumstances.”

My world dropped away.

“I didn’t know! I didn’t think! I have no rights? None? But . . . I’m her
father!
All this time—I was the only one who cared for her!”

“You may apply to this court for a parental responsibility order . . .”

“How long will that take? I have to be in Chicago . . .”

“Which brings me to another point,” said the judge. “My main concern is for Beth’s best interests, so I also have to consider the stability of home-life that you can offer your daughter,” she said. “We’ve already clarified that you intend to be touring for several months, during which time Beth wouldn’t see her mother or grandmother.”

“They could fly out!” I said, feeling a sense of desperation begin to climb from my stomach to my throat.

“Yes, and it seems to be very much a part of yours and Miss Lintort’s previous lifestyles, however, I have to consider what is best for Beth.”

“I’m best for Beth!”

She shuffled her papers.

“I’d like to talk to you for a moment, Miss Lintort.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I understand that you’ve been living with your mother for the past three months.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And how much contact have you had with Beth during that time?”

Sarah’s eyes glossed with tears.

“Luka . . . Mr. Kokot made it so difficult . . .”

“That’s not true!” I yelled out.

The judge threw me a baleful look. “You will allow Miss Lintort to speak without interruption,” she ordered.

I sank back into my seat, furious at Sarah’s blatant lie. I glanced at her solicitor and guessed from his quietly satisfied expression that he’d coached her with that answer.

“In what way were things difficult?” asked Judge Peyton.

“He wouldn’t bring Beth to see me, even though he knew I . . . wasn’t well. But I’m much better now. I’m doing really well.”

“Yes, I have read the letter from Dr. Khatri.”

“Thank you. Luka . . . Mr. Kokot made it really difficult for me before I . . . he was always hovering when I tried to be with Beth, like he didn’t think I could do anything right. It . . . he made me anxious. He was always taking over.”

That didn’t sound coached. Was it true? Was that how I’d made her feel?

I tried to think back to those early, sleep-deprived days and nights. We were new parents, stumbling around learning to cope, trying to do the right thing. I knew Sarah struggled, but I had, too.

And I wasn’t the one who ran the fuck away!

“Miss Lintort, I have to say that I have grave doubts. If your mother had
not
visited regularly, I would be strongly considering making Beth a Ward of Court.”

Sarah paled and clutched her mother’s hand.

“I must give this some very serious consideration.”

When Judge Peyton retired to consider the evidence, I couldn’t stay in the room, watching Mrs. Lintort talk confidently to their solicitor, while Seth and Sarah stared silently at each other.

Marcie was waiting outside with Beth. As soon as she saw me, she started gurgling, waving her chubby fists at me.

“Ah! There’s daddy. I told you he’d be back soon, sweet pea!”

She handed Beth over to me with a bottle of formula.

“How’s it going in there?” she asked, as I fed my daughter.

I swallowed several times before I answered.

“They’re going to take her away from me, I know it.”

Marcie gasped. “They can’t! Surely they’ll see . . .”

“It’s going to happen,” I whispered, my heart full of despair.

“Oh, Luka!”

She put her hand over her mouth and I saw tears in her eyes.

My throat felt tight and my chest ached. I blinked furiously. Now was not the time to break down.

When the court reconvened, Beth was dozing in my arms, every now and then blowing little bubbles and trying to smile.

I didn’t care anymore that she wasn’t supposed to be in the court, I walked back inside holding my daughter for every precious second that we had left together.

Marcie followed, lugging the changing bag with her.

The court usher tried to say something to me, but I brushed her off.

Sarah made a small whimpering sound when she saw Beth, but her mother held her arm. Seth’s expression was torn. I think I hated him at that moment.

When Judge Peyton walked back into the court, she frowned slightly, but then I saw her gaze soften as she looked at Beth in my arms.

“Mr. Kokot, I have every sympathy for your situation, and regret the breakdown in the relationship between you and Miss Lintort. From what I can see, you’ve done a fine job in looking after your daughter.”

A seed of hope began to swell inside my heart.

“But I have to consider what is in Beth’s best
present
and
future
interests. A stable home-life with her mother—and grandmother—will benefit her more than constantly traveling with you and hired help.”

Marcie bristled at that.

“I also have to consider that your lifestyle,” the judge enunciated carefully, “is not conducive to stability. I am therefore awarding full custody to Miss Lintort, and I am putting a court order in place so you may not take Beth out of the country.”

They were taking my baby.

“This ruling will be revisited in six months, or sooner, should your domicile status change, and once you have applied for and been issued with a parental responsibility order.”

She looked across the table at me.

“Mr. Kokot, do you understand the ruling?”

I tried to speak, but my throat was dry. Her words were distorted, as if she was speaking underwater.

I couldn’t believe this was happening.

“I love her!” I cried out. “I have held her and fed her and loved her for all this time. Her mother saw her once in three months! Once! She didn’t try! And now you’re taking her away from me and giving her to a stranger!”

The judge’s voice was compassionate, but unbending.

“Regretful as this is, Mr. Kokot, and I do mean that . . . the law is clear on this point: until you apply for the parental responsibility order, as I have advised, you have no legal rights to Beth at this time. I would also say that as you have no fixed address, since you are living in Miss Lintort’s home, this is not in your favor.”

“This is bullshit!”

“You will not use that language in my court,” she said, her voice severe with a clear warning.

I wanted to yell and scream and shout. I wanted Sarah to know that Seth had betrayed us both. I wanted to make them understand that Beth meant everything to me.