Lucid (3 page)

As I murmured my embarrassment, Ethan kissed my chin and then my nose. “Guess we’d better eat before your stomach gives away our super-secret location to anyone within a ten-mile radius.”

While we made ourselves plates, Ethan asked, “Have you heard from your dad yet?”

“Aunt Sage hasn’t heard anything new beyond what his office said when she called. Guess he’s still out of the country on ‘extended’ business. You’d think he would have an international phone that worked, but apparently not,” I said, frustrated. Popping a cheese square in my mouth, I glanced at the slight sunburn across his nose. “How’s the deck coming?”

Ethan exhaled a sigh, then launched into the woes of his deck-building project with Samson. “I came pretty close to punching him yesterday.”

I snickered. “I can see it now…you two scuffling in your backyard.”

He snorted. “It would’ve turned into a brawl. We’d gotten on each other’s last nerve.”

“Ah, but you would eventually have to forgive each other. I wish I knew what a sibling bond felt like.” In my mind, Samson was extra special. Not all older brothers would raise their younger siblings.

“Yeah, well…yesterday I’d have traded places with you for some peace and quiet.” He crunched on a cracker and tilted his head. “Speaking of family keeping us busy, has your mom planned any more weekend trips?”

“None that I’m aware of,” I said, biting into a strawberry. “At least until after Christmas. When we got home last night, I was so happy to crawl into my own bed after the awful hotel beds in Williamsburg.”

“Your bed
is
pretty comfy.” A wicked smile crooked his lips as he ran his finger along my lower lip, swiping away strawberry juice before I could lick it. I stared in mesmerized fascination when he sucked the sweet liquid off his finger, murmuring in a deep rumble, “Mmmm, Strawberry Nara.”

While hundreds of butterflies exploded inside my belly, Ethan glanced down and lifted a half loaf of stale bread from the basket. “Want to feed the geese? It’ll probably involve fast reflexes if we want to keep our fingers, but we’ve never shied from danger, have we?” he finished with an ironic chuckle.

I grinned. “Let’s see how far we can make them swim for it.”

We took turns tossing the hard bits of bread to the group of geese in the pond. After our food was gone, and I’d tossed the last of the bread into the water, a quiet settled between us. At first it was nice, but then the silence thickened, like there was a sudden edge in the air. I glanced sideways at Ethan, but he seemed to be intently watching the geese.

Shaking off the feeling that Ethan was too quiet, I tried to focus on the peacefulness of nature all around us, but apparently, the geese had other plans. I guess they weren’t happy we’d stopped being their food source, because a couple of them paddled up to the embankment, then began to waddle closer, honking in obnoxious bursts that sounded strangely close to
moremoremoremoremore
.

As soon as the biggest goose moved within five feet of us, something dark swooped down in my peripheral vision, landing with a light thump in the crunchy leaves to my right.

A raven, sporting a white patch around one of his eyes, let out a deep, throaty,
kaugh, kaugh, kaugh
. He hissed at the approaching birds and raised his wings, stalking toward them as he rocked back and forth.

Ethan snorted, amusement sparking in his eyes. “Look at that crazy bird. He’s trying to make himself look just as big as these fat geese.”

The moment the lead goose charged after the black bird, honking in his direction, three more ravens landed beside their buddy, hopping around and flapping their wings. They made all kinds of racket as they dove toward the goose, snapping their thick, hard beaks.

Ethan and I exchanged surprised glances before he tossed the last few grapes toward the ravens, saying in a calm tone, “It’s okay. We’re fine.”

The other birds instantly calmed at his voice. Once they swooped up the grapes, they flew back to their perches in the trees. The first raven remained, eyeing the geese with an unwavering, wary stare. I snickered. “He looks like he’s ready to take them out if they so much as fluff a wing.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Ethan leaned over my lap to shoo the bird away. “I said, ‘Go,’ bird!”

With what sounded like a huff of anger, the raven instantly took flight. Unlike the other three birds, he landed on the driver’s side mirror of Ethan’s car, then began to preen his feathers, as if we’d been a waste of his time.

“Temperamental bird,” Ethan muttered.

I’d leaned back to give him access to the bird, and as I moved to sit up, that’s when I saw a black feather had landed near my hand. I smiled and picked up the feather, turning to hand it to Ethan. “He left you a present.”

Ethan pulled away without taking it, his expression shuttered. I set the feather on the blanket and studied his profile. He looked uncomfortable and tense. “What’s wrong? Don’t you think it’s a good idea to learn as much as you can about ravens? They helped tell me when Fate was coming after me, then they showed up in my dream when I confronted Fate, and not only were you
in
my dream, but you seemed to know why the ravens interfered when he attacked me.”

Ethan shook his head, frustration pulling his brow down. “Go figure, the one dream of yours I finally star in, and I don’t remember any of it.”

I waved to the birds observing us from afar. “Obviously they have some connection or attachment to you
beyond
the raven sword tattoo across your back.” Ethan hadn’t said much about the mysterious raven’s feather tattoo that had magically appeared on his shoulder. Later the tattoo morphed into a sword featuring a raven yin-yang symbol near the hilt with the original raven’s feather decorating the sword’s blade. That change in his tattoo had happened after Ethan had helped me face Fate in my dreams.

The way he’d just acted about the feather made me believe he hadn’t been researching raven tattoos like he’d told me he planned to. Still, I had a hard time believing he’d accepted a full-length sword tattoo slicing across his back from shoulder to hip like some kind of ancient gladiator gear. He’d been pretty upset that morning in my room when he woke up with it on his back. “Are you okay with the tattoo now?”

Ethan’s lips thinned as he stared across the pond’s smooth surface. When he glanced back at me, his eyes finally reflected the turbulence I’d been sensing. He reached up and slid his fingers down my ponytail. “I have to make my life whole, Nara.”

My stomach dipped that he’d avoided answering my question. I scooted closer until our thighs touched. “I’m here for you. You know that.”

Ethan folded his elbow around my thigh, locking our legs together as he set his chin on my bent knee to stare at me. “It’s like, my engine revs, ready to move forward, but all I hear is the rattle.”

By the look in his eyes, he wasn’t talking about the tattoo any more. Ice seized my lungs, and this time it wasn’t due to Fate’s interference. Nor did I feel a single spark of static electricity like I always had when Fate lurked. This was all me, reacting to Ethan’s somber mood. I tried hard not to let him see the panic in my eyes. “I—I don’t understand. What are you saying?”

He straightened and tilted my chin so the sun’s warm rays shined across my face. “Even in bright sunlight, your eyes are crystal clear. There isn’t a flicker of uncertainty. You know who you are and never apologize for it. I want clarity too.”

Turbulent blue eyes sought my understanding. It’s not like I didn’t feel uncertainty. I was still waiting to hear from my dad so I could learn more about my powers.
Why hadn’t my dad called my aunt now that she’d let him know I was finally ready to talk to him?
The wait was driving me nuts. I gave a self-deprecating snort. “I have my murky moments too.”

A smirk of amusement tilted his lips before resolution tightened his jaw. “You mean everything to me. That’s why I have to do this.”

“Do what?” I gripped his arm, my muscles a bundle of knots.

Fierce determination reflected back at me. “I’m going home.”

“You’re leaving?” I couldn’t help the crack in my voice as fear set in.

Ethan winced, then rubbed his hand over mine, where my nails had dug into his forearm. “Just until I can set things straight with my parents. I’m leaving first thing tomorrow morning. I hope to be back after Thanksgiving break.”

I was speechless. I wanted to scream “No!” and do something extreme like slash his tires so he couldn’t leave. Yet another part of me wanted to hug him for trying to reconcile with his parents. Samson had wanted to tell their parents that Ethan had gotten his act together a while back, but Ethan had been too resentful to let him. Ethan’s brother would support Ethan’s decision to speak to his parents alone and in person. And now I knew why Samson had helped get Ethan access to this private land today. I swallowed, wanting to say the right thing, but my heart and mind had shifted way beyond torn; they were in full-on, down-and-dirty combat.

“And look…” Ethan’s gaze never left mine as he reached into his jeans back pocket. “I even got this so we can keep in touch.”

He’d gotten a cell phone, which
so
wasn’t Ethan. He didn’t carry one because he’d said, “I don’t like being that easy to find,” yet he’d made the sacrifice for me. It wasn’t a smartphone, so we couldn’t have face-to–face chats, but at least we could text. I
should
feel special, but all I could think was…
he’s leaving
. My heart folded inward.

Ethan ran his knuckles along my jaw, deep furrows etched around his mouth. “Say something, Sunshine.”

I closed my eyes against the bright light shining down.
Sunshine
. I’d never be able to hear that word or feel the warm sun kissing my face without thinking of Ethan and the way he made me feel: Unique. Special. Needed.
Wanted
.

“Nara?” Ethan slid his fingers along my scalp, slipping the red ribbon and elastic band from it.

When he ran his fingers through my hair, then cupped the back of my neck, I felt the tension in his hold. I told my heart and mind to cease fire and opened my eyes. “Just…promise you’ll come back,” I managed to whisper.

Relief flooded his features, and he gave that brilliant smile that never failed to melt me all the way to my toes. Running his thumb in a caress along my throat, he said, “Never doubt it.”

I forced a smile. “It’s just…I’ll miss you.”

Ethan glanced down and swept the raven feather from the blanket, then pushed me onto my back, a mischievous look in his eyes. “I just thought of a great use for this feather,” he began as he leaned over me.

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” I asked in a breathy voice. Tingling shot through me as he ran the feather from my chin to my neck. My heart tripped when he continued along my chest, then trailed it down the buttons of my shirt until he reached my exposed belly where the cotton material had ridden up.

“Sending a message.” Eyebrow raised, he said in a serious tone. “If you start to question us…” He paused and ever so slowly traced the feather in a horizontal line across my belly button, then joined that line with a perpendicular one that stopped at the top of my jeans.

He’d created a
T
.

“Always remember…” he continued, this time writing two more of the same letter.

“This…” he finished with three more letters. A
W
, an
F,
and an
O
.

Dark blue eyes locked with mine right before he lowered his head. I let out a gasp of excitement as his warm lips touched my skin, imprinting his message on me. Clasping my waist in a firm grip, Ethan then pressed a longer, lingering kiss on my belly button. As goose bumps skittered along my body, I bit my lip and slid my fingers into his long dark bangs and thick hair, encouraging his exploration.

Ethan looked at me, his eyes swirling with primal intensity. Promises reflected in his gaze as he shifted higher, then tucked the feather into the top opening of my shirt, sliding the entire soft vane past the lacy edge of my bra. When he settled over me, his chest crushed the feather between us, and my breath hitched.

Without words, he’d shown me where he wanted to kiss me next. I burned everywhere, blistering hot. God, I was ready now, but I finally understood. When he came back, we would both be ready to move forward.

Lowering his hard body fully on me, Ethan finished his message in a husky tone, “Forever and always, Nara.”

The intimacy of his actions, and the feel of his weight pressing me into the soft blanket, his legs entwined with mine, played havoc with my pulse. Picturing the letters he’d written in my mind’s eye, I forced myself to focus.

TTTWFO
.

Then the meaning dawned. It was the promise I’d made him after he discovered his tattoo had changed into a sword. He was confused and freaked out by the change. I’d told him that I loved him, and I’d promised I’d be there for him, that we’d be
together ‘til the wheels fall off.

Tears prickled the corners of my eyes, and I dug my fingers into his broad, muscular shoulders, pulling him even closer. While he settled things with his parents, I planned to learn everything I could about ravens and his tattoo. I’d be ready when he came home to help him resolve that aspect of his life, or, at the very least, acknowledge it. Clarity was about
full
acceptance. Nothing was going to stop us from moving forward.

“Cross my heart—” I started to whisper, but Ethan cut me off, pressing his lips to mine with a fierceness that sent fire shooting through my veins. I tugged him even closer, loving that his heady kiss sealed our promise better than words ever could.

Chapter Three

Honk, honk…honk, honk, honk, hooooooonk
!

“I’m coming,” I hollered out my bedroom window, then grabbed my purse and keys while my laptop powered down.

“You’re early,” I huffed as I slid into Lainey’s car. I was out of breath from rushing down the stairs at breakneck speed. She’d torn me away from a fascinating website I’d just discovered that mentioned ravens. The forum administrator had finally gotten back to me, saying he couldn’t provide any contact info, but he sent me the last link the original poster had followed from a thread on his message board. And the best part was, the info on this forum was all in Latin. He probably thought he was sending me on a wild goose chase, but the Latin made it a double win. I couldn’t believe my luck. I was salivating to translate it. “What’s with the crazy horn honking? I heard you the first time.”