Lucid (7 page)

“You're wrong I would never try to kill you. I just had to see... if it worked.”

“If what worked?! If throwing me off a cliff into a freaking waterfall
could
kill me? Why yes, yes it can!” My own personal hysteria was beginning to show, and I could feel my whole body trembling. How could
he
of all people do that? To me that was like Olivia trying to kill me. For some reason I hadn't thought it was possible. But apparently it was. Point taken brain. Don't trust people  you randomly dream up.

“Mercy... you need to relax. I didn't try to kill you,” his firm yet gentle tone and the way he slowly brought himself closer to me, like he was gentling a wild animal, almost slowed my panic. Almost.

“No-NO. You don't get to come near me! You crazy... psycho killer... pervert... you don't get to be anywhere near me.” I kept my eyes on him as I slowly worked my way away from the edge of the lagoon and began backing my way to the forest.

“Hey... if this is about me taking off your clothes sorry, but I had to get you out of those wet things... I didn't look. I promise.”

I was horrified. Not only did he
look,
but I was pretty damn sure by his reaction, he didn't even think it looked good enough to act sheepish about.  Every female insecurity I had ever know reared their ugly heads, even some I didn't know I had.

“You... are a pig,” was all I managed to squeak out, and he had the decency to look like a poor kicked puppy. I wasn't buying it anymore. I turned away fear be damned and walked into the dark woods.

I could hear his footfalls, heavy for my benefit trudging along at a distance behind me. I couldn't bring myself to tell him off. So I kept my arms tightened around me  clutching his loose shirt to my body. The size of the black fabric that fit him like a glove, was more like a dress on me. The fabric pulled and tightened lightly against the middle of my thighs as I lengthened my pace in a failed attempt to get away from Deegan.

“I'm not a nice guy Mercy. I'll be the bad guy as long as it takes. I made a promise to protect you and I intend to keep it.”

“And this is your idea of doing just that?” I could practically feel my eyebrows crawling up my forehead in shocked response to his incredulous statement.

“Whatever it takes Mercy.”

Shaking my head I just turned and continued hiking my way through the forest. His heavy footsteps became closer until they were padding along next to me. I should be livid, but I'm not. I can't bring myself to hate him for it, and that worries me. Don't get me wrong. I'm absolutely horrified. At my reaction. At what he did. And especially that he saw me (almost) naked.

“I talked to an... acquaintance of mine... about the trouble you're having in your dreams-”

“
Great
now your creating imaginary friends in my brain that you can talk to.”

“Can you stop being difficult and just listen?”

“Do I have to?”

“This acquaintance mentioned that there are certain times that a human could acquire certain gifts-”

My snorting laugh cut his sentence short. And when I turned back to see what other nonsense he would spout he was just standing there glaring at me with his bewitching red eyes.

“Please continue, I believe you stopped at gifts.”

Faster than I could see he grabbed my face gently in his hands and got in my personal space... WAY up in my personal space. And I liked it. A lot.

“Mercy Ann Clarke,” he whispered, his breath hot against my lips. If I stood just a little further on my tip toes our lips would touch. We would
kiss
. And while I
obviously
wouldn't want that, who would want to kiss someone that tried to kill them. My body wanted it. My blood was pumping so fast and furiously I'm sure he could hear it over the sounds of the forest. Every hormone in my body was firing off in rapid response to his closeness.

Okay I lied. I
really really
lied. I wanted to kiss him. I would happily share my first kiss with this fine specimen of a man. In fact if we based this on hormonal reaction and not personalities I would gladly be  Mrs. Mercy … that's when it hit me. I never told him my last name... but that isn't to weird right? I mean if I made him up he would know my last name. He would know everything I know... right?

“Where are you Mercy, cause your sure as hell not here.”

It took every last bit of strength I had to focus my attention, and drag my eyes away from his full lips and look into his eyes. How embarrassing he just caught me mentally mugging his perfectly formed lips.

“Sorry,” was all I managed to gasp out. His eyes were just as all consuming as his lips had been. It was hard to look and not get lost.

“I have lost everything in my life Mercy. There is nothing good left. I would like at least once to protect something worth protecting.”

“I'm so sorry,” I whispered. My heart was breaking. “I did this to you didn't I? I created this world and a life for you that was so horrible. I wish I hadn't created that past for you... I'm so sorry.”

His face twisted up for a fraction of a second before he managed to smooth it away. “I need you to listen to me. It's very important. There is only so much I can do to protect you.”

“I'm all ears.” Though technically I was all eyes... ogling that spot on his neck where I could see his pulse. His pulse was beating almost as fast as mine.

“Good girl. And try not to give me so much trouble.” He slowly released my face looking no worse for wear at the close contact. Figures... my dream guy (literally) was in no way affected by almost kissing me. It appeared that I was the only one being ruled by hormones here.

“Now humans can acquire certain gifts. Based on parentage or other things, that are as of yet unknown. Like a human being psychic for example.”

“And?”

“I believe you have acquired one of these gifts.”

My laughter picked back up, I couldn't help it. “Get real. I'm probably the most normal person I know. I mean besides being completely crazy, socially awkward, and unable to make friends anyways.” And being seventeen and never having kissed. Or thinking about kissing a guy that just tried to kill me... don't forget those.

“But you started having dreams on your fourteenth birthday, right?”

“How do you... no. No. You only know that cause I made you up.”

“Humor me.”

“Humoring,” I sighed out while picking my way through the thick low hung branches.

“You have somehow acquired the gift known as Dreaming.”

“Okay now I know your bullshitting... Dreaming is that a gift? Everybody dreams Deegan.”

“I thought you weren't going to be difficult?”

“I thought you wouldn't try to kill me. Looks like we all make mistakes,” I grumbled defensively. I had every right to be mad at him and I was going to remind him about it. Often.

He once again looked sorrowful, like he knew he shouldn't have done it.

“I thought... that if
you
thought you were going to die... you might become
lucid
. I never would have let you get hurt Mercy. You're just going to have to trust me.”

He was beautiful, standing there with his eyes like liquid red shadows, filled to the brim with sorrow. The light and shadows created by the slowly rustling trees playing off his taught muscles, like a symphony. And I knew I was in deep. Because no matter what had happened I could not hate him. Not because he was handsome, or got my heart thundering right along with no effort. But because he was honest. Even if he was delusional, he was being honest. Letting out a sigh I gave up the fight, because I had already lost.

“What is lucid exactly?”

“You already know this is a dream. So your ahead of the curve. The next step would be for you to
control
the dream.”

“I am controlling the dream.” I took three steps to the left and looked back at him. “I chose to take those steps.”

“You can control your body within the dream, but you have no control
over
the dream. If you did you could change the setting. You could make the monsters go away.”

His words caused my skin to erupt in goose bumps... If I could control it, it would stop. And I wanted it to stop.

“I thought that if you were shocked enough you might do it subconsciously...that's why I... pushed you.”

“Ah.” Sadly, it was a good excuse. I probably would have thought it would work too. “Well lets get started then.” I exclaimed trying to lighten up his forlorn expression. It didn't work.

“We will start tomorrow. The sooner you can control your dreams the better.”

“Well then shouldn't we start like... right now?”

His hand slowly reached out and lightly caressed one of the many damp curls that was framing my face. He gently twisted it between his fingers his eyes staring at the point of contact so intently it was like he didn't notice anything outside of that strand of hair. Ever so slowly, almost like he was reluctant to let it go, he tucked it behind my ear and gave me the most forlorn smile I had ever seen.

“Ah Cariad, our time is already up.”

In a blink it was all over. And once again I was staring at my ceiling. And the only thing on my mind was what in the world did Cariad mean, and why had he called me so softly with it. Slowly I pulled myself out of my bed,  unwrapping the sheets from around my legs, before I made my way to the bathroom mirror.

I took one look in the mirror and noticed a serious problem. Super serious. From my wet hair, the dirt on my hands and feet, I looked exactly like I had in the dream. Down to the oversized black shirt, that hung like a dress.

Chapter 13

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

The clocks methodical ticking echoed through my body like a blaring siren. Each tick driving me further past any point of sanity. Each timely thunk sending a resounding streak of pain through my skull. The headache I had woken up with had yet to leave.

The moment Deegan had softly called me Cariad, whatever that meant, my dreams had abruptly thrown me back into reality. Right into a killer headache. And not even a text from Ethan to offer why he was late. If I had to wait another thirty minutes and he still hadn't shown I was going to bail.

Just as I finished my thought the library doors opened letting in a blast of cold air, and in strolled Ethan. He tossed his charming smile at the ladies standing around the front desk, each one of them blushed slightly and greeted him, before going back to whatever task they had at the desk. Even cranky librarians loved him. He surveyed the chairs surrounding the library and when his eyes landed on me his grin grew wider if it were even possible.

“Mercy! You made it. Sorry I'm late, had to help gramps.”

Wow. Way to make me feel guilty about being pissed at him.

“He's the only family I got you know, gotta look after him.”

Triple guilty.

“How's he doing? I never really heard what happened to him.”

“Oh he's fine,” he replied with a soft chuckle and a shake of his head. “Old people you know, they stub their toe and they just fall apart.”

Try as I might I couldn't keep my lips from curving into an amused grin. Ethan smiled in response and pulled up a chair next to my own. He had a notebook pulled out in a flash, and he was wearing the most excited expression on his face.

“Since you're a girl I'll let you pick, but be warned I'm a bit of a nerd. I'm really into this paranormal and mythical stuff. So make sure you pick something good to do this report on.”

“You know for someone whose 'into this stuff' you sure seemed to have a problem when Olivia mentioned Auras.”

“Because there is a difference. Humans who can learn to see what isn't there is completely different from a paranormal monster. I mean if humans could train themselves to see Auras wouldn't everyone know how?”

“I suppose that makes sense...”

He nodded as if he knew I would understand that Auras couldn't possibly be real, before flashing another dazzling smile my way. “Have you decided? Or can I pick the monster? Please don't tell me you want to pick a werewolf.”

I wish I could say I didn't know and let him do whatever. But I did know exactly what I wanted to know more about. The moment Ethan had asked me what I wanted to pick my mind instantly flashed to the what Deegan had told me.

“How about Hellhounds,” I offered him what I hoped was a flirtatious smile, and prayed that he would go along with it.

His lopsided grin and slightly flushed face told me I had gotten my way. “Not a lot of girls know about Hellhounds. That's a good one we will go with that.”

“Cool I'll go find some books,” I offered. I could hear him push his chair back as he got up to follow me.

“You know uh... Mercy...” I continued running my hands along book spines without turning around. “Please listen.”

He placed both of his hands against the bookcase, blocking me from walking any further. Uh oh. Maybe my flirtations smile had been to strong... I
really
didn't want him to get the wrong idea. When I turned to face him he almost looked nervous. His closeness and the fact that he had me practically backed into a corner. I should be just as nervously excited as I had been with Deegan. This boy was real after all. But there was nothing... I was beginning to think that Deegan had ruined me for anything that was real.

His blue eyes studied me intently before he started speaking again his voice a little more hesitant this time. “I... that is... the Halloween dance is coming up. It'd be cool if we could go together?”

I put on a smile that I associated with 'that's too bad' “I already promised Olivia  we'd go together, and the two of you don't really get along.”

“Like oil and water. Well that's too bad... maybe you can save me a dance?”

He looked so hopeful that I just didn't want to crush him. “ Yeah I'm sure we can dance. As Friends.”

“Yeah... That would be great. To dance... as friends I mean.” His smile had lost some of its luster as he pulled his hands off the shelves, and crammed them in his pockets. I gave him a smile and turned back to running my hands along the spines of the worn library books.