Lucian: Dark God's Homecoming (40 page)

“Of course…”

I frowned, attempting to turn my thoughts back to diplomacy and business. Behind me, the two groups of delegates were seating themselves around a large conference table.

Then she poked me in the stomach with a finger, and I looked back at her, startled.

“When this session has adjourned,” she said quietly, “we should catch up on things.”

She pressed a small chip into my hand.

“This will grant you access to the living quarters of my ship, and will register you as a welcome guest on our security monitors.”

I nodded dumbly.

“Maybe that way,” she said, “no one among my crew will try to earn a reputation by capturing the dreaded Markos the Liberator, in the act of breaking and entering.”

She smiled again, then turned and started back toward her ship.

“It couldn’t be easier,” she added, looking back. “No jumping out of trees, no ripping holes in the fabric of the universe.”

She smiled, and that smile warmed me as nothing else had in months.

“Just follow the signs,” she said.

# # #

And now five hours have passed; five long, dull hours of diplomatic wrangling and military arguments and map drawing and re-drawing, during which I could scarcely pay attention at all.

And now the meeting stands at recess, and I stand before the hatch to the captain’s quarters; and I, who have ruled worlds and commanded armies and slain gods and emperors, fairly shake with nerves and fear. I summon up some of the forcefulness of my younger days and bring my hand up high, and I knock.

Abandon all hope
, I once told a crew of explorers lost on unfriendly shores. As Lucian, the dark lord, I believed those words, or thought I did. I surely believed in power and glory and victory above all.

I have known power and glory, and I have known defeat and loss and bitter guilt that dogged me down through the centuries. And now, I believe I can know peace, and happiness, and love; or as much of those things as an erstwhile dark god is entitled to know.

Amazing
, I think to myself as the door opens before me and I see her sparkling eyes once more. Amazing that I could have been
alive
so very many years and, until now, never really known how to
live
.