Lucca's Lust: The Luminara Series Book 3 (36 page)

Mamma is beside herself, fussing around Lexi, then gives me a good fucking telling to get myself scrubbed up and looking decent because she is worried about me. Nonna is extremely sympathetic and brings a special boxed gift for her which touches my heart. They know how crazy I am about Lexi, and it is great that they have all fallen in love with her as well.

Her nurse, Carla, is run ragged, bringing in extra vases and chairs and complimentary hot drinks, but I make sure the nursing staff on this floor is rewarded, asking Suzanne to purchase a load of gift vouchers sent by courier for them all.

Lexi still has not eaten anything other than one bite out of an apple and a plain tea biscuit. When everyone is here, Hazel and Dominic bring in some healthy takeaway food for everyone. Not enthused by the hospital menu, I encourage Lexi to have some. She tries a mouthful but pushes it away.

I share a concerned glance with Hazel, who is also extremely concerned about her lack of fuel and energy. Nonna pats me on the shoulder and tells me to be patient, her appetite will come back.

Marco drops in with everything I have asked for, but I ask him to take the diamonds back to the farmhouse when he drops off the groceries because I do not want to overwhelm her when she has so many gifts here already. I would like our first night back home together to be special.

When everyone is gone, I close the curtains and shower Lexi like I did yesterday, allowing Olivia, the nightshift nurse, to redress her bandages before connecting her drips back up to her Venflon caps.

After raking through the bags, I dress her in one of the sleepwear sets my mamma brought, but as her pain relief was increased, Lexi’s mind is all over the place and her eyes roll when I slide the knickers and little satin shorts up her legs. She is almost sleeping already.

I press my nose to her stomach before sliding the shorts fully up to her narrow waist and kiss her skin sweetly, my stubble grazing her. She motions her hand into my hair, but it falls lax quickly and drops to her side.

She is so lifeless and limp, desperately trying to fall back to sleep, so I place a final kiss on her lips, keeping my cheek pressed to hers until she falls into a deep sleep.

Satisfied she is sleeping, I throw a T-shirt and lounge pants on, freshen up, then wedge myself beside her on the bed, wrapping us in the stiff cellular blankets. It is not particularly comfy, but I refuse to sleep on the sofa. Jesus, I need her home.

During the night Lexi needs the bathroom a few times as a result of the fluid they pump into her, so sleep is broken for her, between that and the constant blood pressure checks.

Come on.

I get fractious at one point, begging them to let her sleep. I know they are doing their jobs, very well I may add, but Jesus, she is exhausted.

I wake early, muscles aching, back sore, head throbbing when Carla checks in for duty. Lexi stirs. Carla blushes when I jump out of the bed. It takes me a moment or two to register I have a morning erection straining against my cotton lounge pants. Lying next to Lexi does that to me. Christ, I need a cold shower.

I shower, shave, freshen up, and change. Another nurse offers me breakfast, but I would rather have something brought in later when my family comes so I decline. Dressing in fresh clothes, which feels fucking marvellous, I cuddle with Lexi and wait for her to wake.

To be expected, she is a little disorientated waking up. When she stresses about missing her contraceptive pill yesterday, I try and pacify her. I do not care if she missed a whole fucking month worth of pills.

For starters, I might be firing blanks. I have no idea. Secondly, I love her. Thirdly, she says she loves me. Fourthly, the reality of Fran and I opening up about our loss plays on my mind. As impatient as I am, I know I want Lexi in my life forever. Lastly, after the shock of possibly losing her on Sunday night, I want her in my life so bad it hurts.

A child with Lexi?

Yes.

Absofuckinglutely.

Now, then, in the future.

Definitely.

If God blesses us with that in our future, then it will fully restore my beliefs. Now that she has mentioned it, it makes me want to get my fertility tested. I think back to the conversation I had with Savio and Armando the night of the premier league football match. I want it.

I want what they have.

Family life.

A loving wife.

Loving children.

To be complete … as a man.

I want it all.

I want it with her.

I pester Carla when she starts her shift asking her when I can get Lexi home. Then I call Annalisa and have her prepare some decent food for Lexi to get her to eat. Lexi has more colour in her cheeks from all the fluids.

Feeling frustrated because I cannot stand the thought of Lexi spending another night here, I find the consultant looking after her and all but bribe him to let me take her home. Turns out he is impressed by her recovery and will assess her shortly.

Later in the day, Lexi becomes emotional when she opens Nonna’s cookbook gift. I love how touched she was. Finally, Carla comes to give us the good news that Lexi can be discharged with her pill prescriptions, a sling, and loads of spare dressings.

Marco drops us off at the farmhouse; I carry Lexi inside but decide to take her out back because she could do with some fresh air after being cooped up in the hospital. I steal a quick glance at the door and wall, ensuring all traces of blood have been removed. After getting her comfortable, I get organised in the house.

Marco leans against the kitchen counter, quickly running through Osurac business he needs instruction on while I busy myself preparing food. I get confirmation of the flights Suzanne has booked for Cameron. Once he leaves, I light the fire, some candles, and organise a makeshift bed on the floor in the lounge so it is cosy for my girl.

Checking on Lexi, I see she has dosed off. Upstairs, I open up the new indigo journal Marco picked up and write the same message as before but add an extra line and press a blue orchid flower inside the page.
Yin and yang.

‘Mi dispiace, io ti amo, ti prego, perdonami. X’

‘I am sorry, I love you, please forgive me. x’

I leave it on her pillow with one of the jewellery gifts I purchased. Then I place the rest in my safe. As I plan on giving her special gifts on a regular basis and treating her, I made sure to pick charming and exquisite pieces to build a collection for her.

Downstairs, I finish making our warm salad, play some music, and wake Lexi up. It takes her a while to eat with one hand, so I help her while she sits on my lap. Turning around, she faces me and the nervous look in her eyes worries me. She looks crestfallen.

Panicking, I am afraid she is hiding the severe pain in her wrist. I lean over kissing it gently. She tells me she wants to tell me about her past. I do not know where it came from. She must have been deliberating it and that is why her eyes are pained.

She is determined to tell me. I hate to think that she feels pressured into telling me because of how I reacted on Sunday. She feels like she owes me this, and I do want her truth, but I am not sure if she is even ready to share it. It seems to be sudden.

“My mum was abducted. She was backpacking in Australia with her friend when she was nineteen. She was captured, brutally abused, and assaulted—both physically and mentally—for fourteen years. My grandparents thought she was dead. While she was held captive she fell pregnant and had Cameron and then myself with a monster, an unforgivable evil bastard who took her life. Then she delivered a still born baby a few years after I was born and suffered a miscarriage in-between. Over time she started to feel bad for Simon, her captor, and completely submitted herself to him. That’s the reason I have nightmares, the scarring on my back, I was—”

Holy fucking hell!

She blurts it out, desperate to get it over with. I stop her. I cannot hear anymore. It is a million times worse than I could have possibly ever imagined, and it is painful to hear. My brain barely registers, but she is telling the truth. Her scars … Jesus. I do not even want to think about it. It sickens me.

The fucking evil monster. A wicked psychopath. How could anyone do that? It is seriously goddamn wrong … twisted, sinister, and fucked-up. I hope that malicious bastard who did that to her … to her mother was crucified and burned for what he did.

It explains everything. Why she is nervous, anxious, scared, and insecure. No wonder she has trust issues, is withdrawn at times, likes her independence, and cannot talk about her mum. Knowing my girl, she probably feels embarrassed but she need not.

I would never judge my girl. I love her far too much, but I hate that life has been so cruel to her. I cannot stomach the concept of what she has endured.

How does that happen? How the fuck?

I have read about shit like this,
Stockholm Syndrome
related abductions, which always seem completely unreal and unimaginable to me, but it happens to real people in the world. It happened to her … to them in real life. Christ almighty, reading about such acts of cruelty makes my blood run cold, and knowing Lexi suffered in that situation is chilling and mind-numbing. It is disturbing.

I am heartbroken and soul-destroyed for my girl, for her brother, and mother. But I love her, need her, and want her, and if anything it only makes me want to give her even more of my love. My girl deserves to feel loved and cherished in every way.

I know I cannot change it. I know I cannot erase her past … her memories … but I know this: I am determined to show her infinite love and care, giving her the most privileged life I can.

She says she wants to continue, that she owes me this. It must be extremely hard and difficult for her to talk about because shit, it is difficult enough just hearing it.

“No, I want to understand. Really, I do, but it is better to write it down in your journal for me, Lexi. I understand now why you shut me out, and I understand your insecurities. It will never change the way I feel about you. You are beautiful and special, and your mother is blessed to have you. Fate has brought us together, and I have no intention of letting you go. It just hurts to hear the truth because I care so deeply and I love you.”

I pull her against me in a tight embrace and kiss her sweetly, my arm around her waist, hand splayed on her flat stomach. It reminds of the thoughts I had in the hospital. I would very much like to have a family with Lexi if I am able to. Now my circumstances are different and I am more mature and sensible. I very much plan to have my fertility checked out.

Honestly, for the first time in years I have never thought with as clear a head as I am now. It makes sense to me. Falling in love with Lexi, nearly losing her, realising she loves me, and now finding out that she missed having a normal, healthy, and safe childhood confirms that we should have a family together in the future.

Everything I have been in denial about and everything I have desired is right here with me, and there is nothing that I would like more. I know I can treat Lexi exceptionally well, and having kids with her would be an honest act of unconditional love. And we love one another.

It would make me complete and it would maybe give Lexi a new start at life. Having her own kids would bless her with the treasurable and loving experiences in family life that unfortunately she never had.

Nothing has seemed so right. The thought actually excites me and gives me hope for our future together. It would be poetic bliss if God changed both our paths and decided to stop dealing us the horrible hand of fate. Maybe this is our fate, our destiny, to start all over and find a new light together.

“Lexi, the comment I made today about kids, I meant what I said. I would love to have children with you someday when the time is right. I want you, all of you, and I would love you to have our bambinos,” I say, stroking her stomach.

Lexi retaliates, objecting with a few smart-mouthed replies. I smile against the back of her head because I love that my fiery girl is back and getting all flamed up. Her smart mouth is only turning me on.

After her complaining and ordering me to get a condom, I put up a good fight not to. For fuck’s sake … denying me the delight of feeling her warm, wet, flesh against my skin is like finding out Santa is not real for the first time. Devastated. Totally gutted.

But I cave and give in to my girl when she threatens I will not get any pussy at all. Devious little minx. I play along, much against my will, because she is recovering, and I always want to give her what she wants.

I make tender and gentle love to her like it is the first time all over again. And it is every bit as sensational as the night she had that sexy pink lingerie on and I had her beneath me for the first time. If anything, our connection just feels so much stronger, the pleasure so much more intimate because now I know she loves me as well. I satiate her with every profound emotion in my heart, soul, and mind.

Our love making is precious.

Carrying her upstairs to bed, I give her the journal and the gift. She loves the expensive diamond teardrop earrings; I am actually surprised she never kicked off about it. Then she gives me a gift. I am stunned. Lexi is my gift, why would she want to get me anything else is beyond me.

I open a very sleek looking ballpoint pen which she has had engraved. She remembered I looked at them in the Swiss pen shop window.

‘Il mio qualcosa di speciale. TI amo, ora e per sempre, Lexi x’.

“You are my something special. I love you, now and for forever,” she whispers in my ear. A delicious warmth tingles down my spine. When she says she wants me to keep it close to my heart when she is not there, I almost lose my man-card.

God she is so special. Carefully lifting her up and supporting her, I assault her beautiful mouth, showing her my gratitude before I take her indecently hard and fast on the bed.

Thank fuck for fate.

After a bath together the next morning, I tend to Lexi’s dressings, give her all her prescribed pills, and go downstairs. In perfect timing, Marco pulls up with Cameron. I meet him at the front, getting quickly acquainted, and thank him for coming. I see a striking resemblance between him and Lexi, and he seems like a good, honest guy.