Luca (I Love the Way You Lie #1) (12 page)

“Well, well, well…look who’s up bright and early.” Luca’s tone held a sharp edge. I shuttered, not wanting his venom to coil around me. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and neither was Ollie.

Ollie squeezed my hand briefly before I removed it from his, and walked past Luca without a word. Thank god Keri was sitting in the far corner next to the window.

“Hey.” I scooted into the seat.

“Hey.” She smiled, slightly bending over the desk. “These two going to duke it out or what?”

I looked to the hallway where they still stood face to face. Jesus, fuck. “Or what.” I shrugged. This display of testosterone was getting really fucking old. This morning I decided to focus on the many faces in haven’t had an opportunity to meet, instead of the two hot guys in the hallway swinging their dicks.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you… What are you taking to sleep? You sleep like the dead.” I laughed.

“Halcion,” she whispered.

I never heard of it. However, I was definitely going to ask about it. “I’m up all damn night. Sucks ass.”

She shook her head in agreement. “Yeah, that used to be me. I have chronic insomnia. Nothing works on me for long. I build up a resistance in no time. Believe me…I know how bad it sucks to be up all night. When I was partying it was great, but now that I’m clean, it blows to be pacing all night. I’ll take anything. I mean, anything to sleep.”

I nodded. I was on board with that. My mind got the better of me on most nights. Varied images played on rewind all night long. There was no shutting the shit off. If I were lucky to fall asleep, it wasn’t for long. I napped…never really slept. Lack of sleep and my chaotic mind was a one-two punch my psyche couldn’t take.

A tall, good-looking Asian boy made his was over to greet Keri and took a seat next to her. “This is Chen,” she introduced him. “He’s a Jabbawockeez,” she added with her eyes wide in delight.

What the fuck is a Jabbawockeez
, I thought. “Jabbawockeez?” I asked, having no fucking clue.

“They’re famous hip-hop street dancers.” She rolled her eyes as if everyone in the world knew that except for me. “We connected yesterday in group. We have a lot in common.” She smiled at him and he blushed.

“I must have missed that. Sorry.” I was absorbed in my own waist-deep shit. I didn’t even realize the world around me or the people in it.

Everyone took their seats and we began. It didn’t surprise me there were two empty seats. Unsettled and nervous about things I had no control over, I decided for once that I was doing the best I could. The hour flew by without a word touching my ears. My mind wandered to my future and what it would hold. I wouldn’t be here for very long. I’d like to make an easy transition into college—if possible. Saddened, I was no longer the girl who needed family. I held my chin up and prided myself on my new independence. And prayed it lasted. My family…that house only served as a reminder—a mental reminder every day of what happened. I didn’t need a physical reminder crushing me as well.

“Allison.” Keri shook my arm.

I startled and sneered. “What?” It was more out of deflection than anything. I was daydreaming.

“We’re going to lunch. You coming?” she asked as Chen loomed over her.

“I don’t think so. I have something I have to do,” I said, grabbing my stuff. I did. I wanted to start on my college paper. “I’m just going to grab some coffee.” I smiled weakly.

I suddenly saw the bigger picture. I had a future. A future that involved doing something I truly believed in, and translated into fulfillment.
Thank you, Just Jane
, I thought.

~~~

I snuck into the library. Well, it wasn’t a
real
library. There was only one bookshelf that housed a handful of hardcovers and a few dozen ripped paperbacks. Taped posters filled the walls with recovery themes. However, all I needed was a desk and some paper. I decided to write my paper by hand, comforted by holding pen to paper. My college essay was to evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. I closed my eyes, relaxed my arms, shook out my legs, and cleared my mind.

It was a dreary, dark day and the slight chill succeeded in bringing me back to
that
time and place. My essay read much like a victim’s impact statement. However, I was impacted by my experience—profoundly. I hoped to impact the admission counselor who read it. Furthermore, I truly wanted to make a lasting impact in the community…hands on. My goal was to provide a twenty-four-hour crisis hotline. The name would be “Survivors helping Survivors.” It would be a volunteer based operation that would offer individual support, court and law enforcement, support groups, community education, as well as prevention. Finally, I explained by providing such advocacy, it would empower survivors by offering them safety, social change, and education. If granted admission into their program…this would be my mission.

Forever the lofty dreamer
, I thought. But, I was happy to be dreaming again. The handwritten inked pages multiplied as I poured my heart and soul onto them. Ecstatic by my achievement, my fingers ran across the final page as someone turned on the lights. I cupped my eyes from the glare.

It was Just Jane. “Here you are.”

“Yes, here I am,” I said, gathering my papers.

She slipped into the seat beside me. “College essay?”

I nodded once.

“How about a fresh pair of eyes? We’ll meet tomorrow morning…let’s say ten AM? We’ll discuss my suggestions…if any.”

I appreciated her support. “Thank you.” I handed her my essay and left the room without another word. Exhaustion beating my body and mind, I decided to skip dinner and go for a walk.

~~~

The sun was set and the evening was quiet. Too quiet. Dark, damp, and chilly. The trees rustled under the weight of the breeze. I rubbed my arms to keep the chill away. And I walked, ignoring the goose bumps that blanketed my body. There were no stars tonight, just muted greys across the sky.

I wonder where Luca is
, I thought. Only hours ago we shared a starry night of epic-ness. Now, it’s ruined. I ruined it. I’m broken—unlovable. My breath hitched and my heart raced at that thought. The air thickened and it became hard to breathe.
Panic attack
, I thought.

I walked aimlessly over the grass and into the thicket.
Where was the path
, I thought. I bent over to take some cleansing breaths to slow down the anxiety. This was beyond ridiculous to allow someone to affect you so. I shook my head in spite of myself. Yet, here I am, experiencing all the symptoms. All of the pain.

A shadow passed across the tree-line ahead of me.
Don’t panic, stupid girl
, I thought. I held my breath, standing perfectly still. Was that a man? Sniper? Ninja? He kept moving my way, dressed in black head to toe—a black hoodie covering his eyes. His movements were graceful—catlike—predator-like. With ease, he stepped over branches until he reached me. I was chilled to the bone, but not from fear. Heat drove its way done to my core.
Luca
. He was never far behind. Somehow, someway, he filled the once blank space of my existence and I became reawakened—reborn.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone,” he said. His fingers brushed my face and his lip nearly touched mine.

“I’m not. You’re here. You’re always here,” I whispered. Every single part of me was thrilled that he was here. However, hurt was just beneath my skin.

“I’m not always going to be here.” He pointed behind me to the facility.

I cleared my throat. “Me either.”

The weight of his stare was smoldering. His hand grabbed mine, bringing it to rest on his heart. “I’m sorry.”

“About?” I played dumb.

“Yesterday. I can’t explain it.”

“Try,” I said. I wanted to understand this creature before me. What drove him to act the way he did?

His shoulders rolled uncomfortably. “I feel very protective over you. I never felt this way for anyone before. Never gave much thought to anyone besides myself. It fucks with me. I don’t understand it.” He closed his eyes before taking full advantage of my lips.

My body melted into his like warm honey. Liquid kisses nourishing my soul. His skin. My skin. A bead of sweat dripped between my needy breasts, kissing my navel. A thousand volts ran through me. I was—alive. He put me back together. No longer the broken Allison in his arms. I was fully whole—healed. A feeling I’d cherish.

His teeth nuzzled my neck in sucking movements. I rolled my head, exposing my neck fully. Ugh, his teeth bit along the outside shell of my ear, alternating with a suck. His breath was warm against my ear.

“Forgive me?” He pulled away, meeting my eyes.
Forgiven. Keep kissing me like that,
I thought.

“Yes,” was all I got out before he burned me down to ash again. He took, and I gave. I wanted him to know I desired him as much as he desired me.

I reached for his hand, kissing his palm. Then I kissed each and every one of his fingers. His eyes watched closely. I began to run my fingers underneath his sweatshirt settling above the waistband of his jeans. The urge to press my core into his thickness was too much. I played with the soft hair that led to my new addiction, helpless against the fire blazing inside of me. Lust oozed from my pours. His hands skimmed over my body with skilled seduction.

“You’re beautiful.” His voice was thick with emotion. Aww, he was beyond sweet.

“Thank you. I think you’re beautiful,” I replied honestly. And I did. He was beautiful. His darkness was an allure that was undeniable. My hand continued to travel the length of him, paying close attention to the swell in his pants.

This incredible man changed my life so profoundly in the past few weeks. I even found it hard to believe my courage when it came to him. He broke me down, killing me softly. He patiently let me unbutton his pants. My hand dipped inside, firmly grabbing his cock and pulling it out.

He pulled back, stopping me. “Allison.” His voice was now grave.
A warning,
I thought. “This isn’t necessary,” he continued through think lips.

“It is for me,” I said, stroking his length. It wasn’t a lie.

Joy and ache filled his eyes. My mouth watered just thinking about taking him. I wanted to see the darkest side of him. I wanted this with him. To please him as he pleased me. And there, in between the trees. In the dark of the night. As if it was the most natural thing in the world, I gave him the pleasure he sought. His chest vibrated with desire until we both stood in the still of the night. A tapestry of raw emotion weaved forever into the fabric of my life…

While I held her, our scars were flush and painful memories slipped away. To be replaced with powerful new ones. I released a steady breath of smoke. Everything inside me screamed not to leave her. Don’t bruise her heart and leave it tender for someone to take. My teeth clenched against the ride of self-doubt inside of me. I called Archer as I began to pace. It was time to release some of the burn that was now pitted in my stomach—Allison. She set fire to me. Unexpectedly, someone equally damaged put me back together. We would heal each other.

Without a knock, Archer walked in. “What’s with the cryptic message, bro?”

I drained the last drops of Southern Comfort that I hid a week ago. I needed another litter for this convo. “We need to talk.”

“Yeah, no shit. Talk.”

“I’ve met someone,” I blurted out on my way to trash the bottle of SoCo. I watched the emotions play across his face before he settled. That fucking pissed me off to no end.

“Annnnd…?” His tone of sarcasm wasn’t appreciated. My eyes pinned his. However, when my hands balled into fists, his hands raised defensively. “Hey, what’s the issue?” He shrugged. “Isn’t that a good thing?” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“Yes, and no,” I answered, uncomfortable talking about her with him…with anyone.

After being closed off for so long, I needed to start somewhere. He is my best friend. Trust didn’t come lightly. I didn’t do relationships. I did one-nighters. He did one-nighters. My body was now on fire. I was sweating up a fucking storm. Fuck, this was hard. I shook out my hands, trying to loosen up. Then I faced him, ready to admit how I felt.