Loving His Forever (10 page)

Oh no, he didn’t.

“Yes, I am.” I tell him. He looks over at me, quirking an eyebrow at me like my opinion means nothing. I toss my hair over my shoulder and walk back up the stairs. Wearing my little white dress sounds like a great idea now.

I know what Sydney will think when she sees what I’m wearing. But why shouldn’t I? One thing I learned at the center is that no matter what you’re wearing, it shouldn’t mean you’re asking for it or that you deserve being hurt. I shouldn’t have to fear getting attacked just because I’m wearing a tight dress.

I walk to the closet to grab the white dress, then I head to the bathroom to put on my makeup. I decide on a little eye shadow, liner, and mascara. I don’t want to overdo it. I find the new hair wand I just bought and curl my long hair. As I’m twisting the ends, I think about getting it cut off to my shoulders.

Stepping back, I look at my dress. It clings to my curves and hits mid-thigh, showing a good amount of cleavage. Not to the point where it’s considered slutty though. Should I be doing this? With shaky hands, I close all the makeup bottles and line them on the counter. The doorbell rings. Sydney is here.

I grab my heels and walk down the stairs slowly, trying to calm my beating heart that is trying to beat its way out of my chest. When I hit the last step, Ethan turns to look at me. His expression turns stony with a look I haven’t seen on him yet.

Umm, oh shit.

“You’re not wearing that,” he says slowly through clenched teeth and takes a step toward me, his body towering over mine.

Being stubborn, I put my hands on my hips and glare at him. “I am.”

“No, you aren’t. You either change or I’ll change you.”

His expression is still stony. I roll my eyes, ready to argue, when I’m thrown over his shoulder. “Ethan Blane, put me down!” I scream and hit his back. He chuckles and walks into my room like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

He tosses me on the bed. I bounce slightly, and when he turns toward the closet, I take the moment to run out the door. I barely make it five steps when his arms band around my waist and he carries me with one arm back into the room. Digging through my closet, he pulls out the black dress I got.

“This is better than the thing you’re wearing, but still isn’t good enough,” he mutters to himself as he walks over to the bed and sits me back onto the bed gently.

“Maybe you should wear that pantyhose shit underneath?” he offers.

“No! That would look awful; and they are called leggings.” I laugh, and his expression again turns stony at me laughing at him. He grabs the bottom of my dress and pulls it over my head.

His breath comes out in a hiss as he takes in my white lace bra and panty set. Blushing, I duck my head. I’m embarrassed. I lift my hands as I try to cover myself.

“Don’t,” he says and stops my hands. I look up at him, still embarrassed and feeling way too exposed.

“You’re beautiful. Never hide, and never hide yourself from me especially.” He leans forward and kisses the top of my head. Goosebumps break out across my arms. He lifts the black dress over my head, minding my makeup.

Lifting my arms, I slip them inside the armholes. I lick my dry lips without breaking my gaze from Ethan. He bends down until he’s eye level with me. “There is nothing more beautiful than you. On the inside and out.” He taps my chest and steps away into my bathroom.

I start to go down the stairs; when I hit the bottom, I hear Ethan coming down behind me. I know if I talk to him any more, I won’t be able to force myself to go. Sydney is standing by the couch with a stunned expression. Ignoring her, I walk outside.

On the porch, I look behind me and see Ethan talking to her. I don’t want to look at his face, so I turn my head. When I hear Sydney step onto the porch, I head to her car.

I lean back in my seat while I look out of the window and see him standing next to a porch post, shirtless, staring directly at me through the car window, willing and wanting me to come back to him. What he said to me a few minutes ago will be forever branded into my mind.

“That fucker,” I hear myself say before I can stop myself.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sydney trying to control her laughter. I slump in my seat and try to relax.

“How did he get you to change?” Sydney asks curiously.

“He changed me himself,” I grind out, kind of angry he forced me to change like that, but his sweet words made up for it and then some.

“Oh God, that’s great,” she says and starts laughing uncontrollably. Unable to help myself, I laugh right along with her.

“Let’s have some fun tonight.” I grin at her, forgetting all my fears and worries. She shakes her head as she returns my grin. I look out of the window. Then realization sinks in. What was I thinking? Oh God. No, no, no. I will be crowded by people, surrounded by groping men, and I’ll be completely alone for the first time.

She pulls up in front of the club, climbs out, and walks over to my side. I don’t bother to open my door because she opens it for me and peers inside. “What’s the matter?”

“I’m scared.” My voice is barely a whisper.

“I know, honey. I’m not drinking tonight. You have fun, and I won’t leave your side. You need to let loose and have fun. You need to live.” She takes my hand and pulls me out of the car.

“Thank you, Sydney.” I lean forward and give her a hug before letting go with a small smile on my face. I push my shoulders back in an attempt to look confident, but on the inside I’m a mess. I cling to her hand as I look at my surroundings.

We are carded at the front doors before we are rushed inside. I look around and realize it’s not that busy. Not like I was expecting. Slightly relaxing, I look behind me nervously as the door slams closed again.

Sydney taps me on my shoulder and motions to a table off to the corner of the room. She sits in the chair across from me and picks up her phone.

I feel like eyes are on me. The hair on the back of my neck is standing up on end. I lift my hand to my mouth and chew on my thumbnail nervously.

“Let’s get you a drink,” she interrupts my thirtieth glance around the club. She pulls me up from my seat and leads me straight to the bar.

An hour passes and I’m on drink number four. It’s a fruity drink, with only a small bit of alcohol, but I have a nice buzz going. It takes the edge off. We dance together on the dance floor, making sure to keep a distance from everyone else.

When I need to pee, I motion toward the bathroom. She takes my hand so we don't get separated and walks slightly in front me, but pulls me a little too hard and I stumble. Then all of sudden something plows into Sydney. She falls down onto the ground hard, hitting her hip. I fall back onto my butt in a daze.

A man is on his knees in front of me. He looks at me intently before he gets up. My heart hits the floor and my body freezes with pure unaltered fear. This can’t be happening. He’s found me. This is it. It’s like all the blood leaves my body. I can’t move.

He grins at me leeringly. Sydney stands up and moves in front of me. Shakily, I get up and press my head to her back, trying to stop the panic attack I’m about to pass out from. It’s like I’m having an out of body experience. I can’t wrap my mind around what’s happening.

Sydney starts backing up. I follow her, wanting to put all the distance we possibly can between us.

“I’m not leaving without her,” he roars. I flinch and tears fall down my face. The voice that haunts me is here, right here in front of me. My nightmare is coming true.

“Yes, you are,” Sydney says in an eerily calm voice. I don’t look; I just hide my face like a coward. How can I not? This man took something from me I will never get back, then decides to continue his torture by stalking me.

Sydney jerks her elbow, bumping me in the face, and then I hear a big thump. I look around her and see him lying on the ground, flat on his back, not moving. People dance around us, completely oblivious. Sydney takes my hand again, and we run into the women's bathroom and lock the door.

I look at Sydney. I feel in shock. She blurs as tears form in my eyes. Then the pain of everything that has happened to me hits me like a tidal wave, and I collapse to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

Minutes, hours, seconds could have passed by. I'm so lost in myself the sense of time is gone. I feel Sydney sit beside me, but I don’t stir until a door bangs against the wall. I look up. It’s Ethan. His beautiful eyes are full of pain when he finds me on the floor. I hang my head, ashamed he sees me in this state. I stare at the floor.

His arms come around me and lift me. My head goes to the crook of his neck, where I breathe in his scent. He smells like comfort, warmth, and most of all, belonging.

“Baby,” he whispers in a pain-filled voice. Sniffing, I wrap my arms around him.

“I’m so sorry,” he says again before he steps out onto the club dance floor then out the door with my legs wrapped around his waist and his hand at the back of my head.

How did he find me? Why does he want to hurt me so badly? Did I do something to him? What else can he possibly want with me? Kill me? I’m terrified beyond the point of no return. What kind of stupid fucked-up thing was I doing, coming here?

The cool air outside relaxes me. The air in the club was stifling. I crane my neck to look up at Ethan.

He notices me looking and looks down at me. The expression on his face has me gasping: rage so fierce that if it weren’t Ethan, I would have run scared.

I turn my head and see Kane’s big truck. He clicks the button and lifts Sydney into the passenger side. Ethan lets go of me with one arm to open his door before he guides me in and follows. I watch as Kane slams his door shut and roars out of the parking lot.

Everything hits me all of once. He’s back. I can’t run from him; he will always find me and do what he did to me before. Oh God. He’s back. My heart hurts beyond anything else at the realization.

A sob escapes.

Then another.

To the point where the sobs are wracking my whole entire body.

Ethan tries to soothe me. His warm hands try to bring me back while he whispers in my ear. I’m numb. The tears have stopped, but I just stare into space, while Kane drives us home.

I barely notice Ethan getting out of the truck and carrying me into the house, straight up the stairs and into my bathroom. I can hear the water hitting the bottom of the shower.

He steps inside, the water hitting my back, my legs still wrapped around his waist.

“Baby, come back to me,” he says pleadingly, his voice choking with emotion. His hands run up and down my face as I look at him without really seeing him.

“He won’t hurt you again, baby. I promise.” He kisses my forehead, my cheek, then my lips. With that, I slowly come back. My tears mingle with our kiss. My body shakes from the power of it. He is pouring everything into it, to reassure me, to let me know everything will be okay.

He pulls away and rests his forehead against mine. His breath hits my face and mine hits his, mingling. “I will protect you until my last breath. That man is already dead for touching what’s mine,” he growls and kisses me again.

I twine my fingers into his hair to pull him harder against me, feeling better than I have since I left for the club.

Ethan’s hands go to the bottom of my dress, and I lift my arms instinctively. He pulls it over my head and drops it to the shower floor in a wet heap. His fingers tease the clasp on the back of my bra and unhook it before he slides it down my arms. His eyes don’t leave my face; they are locked to mine.

Leaning forward, I wrap my arms around his neck again until my chest is pressed against his, his warmth coating me from head to toe.

“I was so scared,” I admit to him.

His arms tighten around me. “I know, baby, and that’s tearing me up inside. The thought of you feeling even an ounce of fear...” His grip on my hips tightens, and he kisses the top of my head.

“It felt like my whole world was crashing and I was going back into that dark place again. I knew you were coming for me, and the fear almost turned to relief. That scared me most of all.”

I look at him. His face is showing his confusion. “I depend on you for so many things, but when I’m with you, I feel safe, like nothing can hurt me when I’m around you.”

His face turns to shock, then something more flashes across his face. He closes his eyes and turns his face to the side, clenching his jaw. He reaches behind me and turns off the shower, opens the door, and then gently places me on the floor. He hands me his shirt to put on.

“I’ll be right outside.” He turns to leave but turns back around and kisses the top of my head once more, holding it there for a few moments, and I close my eyes at the feel of his lips.

When the door shuts, I grab a towel out of the cabinet and dry my hair, wringing out all the excess water before I take his shirt and slip it over my head. Then I look at myself in the mirror. I see a woman who is scared and a ghost of the person she was this morning.

“You will not go back there. You’re stronger now. Nothing can break you. Not anymore,” I tell myself and then look away. I open the door and see Ethan sitting on the edge of the bed, staring in the direction of the bathroom door.