Lovesick (41 page)

United States Patent
[19]
Day et al.

[11]
Patent Number:     7,079,454

[45]
Date of Patent:    July 7, 2009

[54]
MEDICATION LOZENGE PACIFER

[51] Int. Cl ………………
A61J 7/00
; A61J 17/300

[52] U.S. Cl ……………………….
606/231
; 606/233

[58] Field of Search ………………… 215/11.1-11.6;
                                                 606/222-238; 604/99

U.S PATENT DOCUMENTS

3,426,755   5/1989   Clegg ……………… 128/360

4,786,648   1/1989   Cease ………………… 606/236

4,862,159   9/1989   Lindenberger ………… 606/236

5,109,482   4/1992   Bohrman ……………. 606/236

5,123,915   6/1992   Miller ……………… 606/234

5,176,705   1/1993   Noble …………… 606/234

D375,835   2/1997   McGovern ………. D24/194

D380,290   6/1997   Reiter …………….D24/194

6,121,578   1/2000   Trimble ……………. 606/236

6,197,644   3/2001   Clay …………… 606/236

FOREIGN PATENT DOCUMENTS

1103008   9/2005   France ……………… 606/236

0761251   4/1996   Italy ……………… 606/236

0513666   1/1991   United Kingdom …………… 606/236

Primary Examiner
—Steven R. Kosach

Assistant Examiner
—Owen Thompkins

[74]
Attorney, Agent, or Firm
—Allan Fanucci, Winston &

Strawn LLP

A medical pacifier constructed to receive and administer a lozenge medication (11). The device comprises a nipple of porous yet resilient material (10) with a reservoir chamber (13) used to hold in place and contain the solid and excess liquid form of the drug. The back of the mouth guard (23) serves as a base for the child safety cap (26) that secures the back end of the reservoir (28) as well as prevents the lozenge from becoming a choking hazard. The device ensures the infant or child is delivered a steady flow of the proper dosage while avoiding spillage, leakage, and waste.

6 Claims, 3 Drawing Sheets

IF I know you, and you’re like me, you spend most of your spare time trolling government Web sites in search of newly issued patents covering notably peculiar gadgets. Some of the inventions I came across in my many years of scouring the Internet made cameos in this book, while others—e.g., the bladeless windshield wipers, the automated plant watering system, the talking cane, and the adjustable heels—were products of my imagination. A quick shout-out to a few true inventors and fellow soul mates:

Candy ring

U.S. Patent No. D242,646 for a “Combined Candy and Ring” (similar to the one in Chapter 1 and throughout) was issued to Arthur T. Horin of New York, New York, and Stan Hart of Beverly Hills, California, on December 7, 1976 and assigned to Topps Chewing Gum Inc.

Tripod ladder

U.S. Patent No. 6,874,598 B1 for an “Ergonomically Improved Tripod Stepladder” (referenced in Chapter 5) was issued to William H. Baker of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, on April 5, 2005.

Wearable dog umbrella

U.S. Patent No. 6,871,616 B2 for a “Pet Umbrella and Combined Pet Leash and Umbrella” (referenced in Chapter 5) was issued to Irina Zhadan-Milligan and Yuri Zhadan of New York, New York, on March 29, 2005.

Side-access sneakers

U.S. Patent No. 6,874,255 B2 for “Side Entry Footwear” (also referenced in Chapter 5) was issued to Noam Bernstein of Omer, Israel, on April 5, 2005.

Tactile watch

On July 18, 2006, I was issued U.S. Patent No. 7,079,454 for the type of tactile timepiece pictured in Chapter 13.

Pill ring

U.S. Patent No. D451,422 S for a “Ring Incorporating a Compartment for a Pill” (the inspiration for the ring in Chapter 20) was issued to Florence E. Wenrich of Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania, on January 4, 2001.

Pill-water thermos

U.S. Patent No. 6,419,081 B1 for a “Combined Pill and Water Container” (referred to in Chapter 22) was issued to Edward N. Ross of Fiddlewood, Louisiana, on July 16, 2002.

Medicated pacifier #1

U.S. Patent No. 3,426,755 for a “Medicine Feeder” (similar to the pacifier in Chapter 22 and quoted from in Chapter 29) was issued to Jesse M. Clegg from Dequincy Louisiana, on February 11, 1969.

Medicated pacifier #2

U.S. Patent No. 5,123,915 for a “Medicated Pacifier” (along the lines of the patent in the Epilogue) was issued to Lawrence and Jeffrey Miller from Oldwick, New Jersey, on June 23, 1992.

Medicated pacifier #3

U.S. Patent No. 5,176,705 for a “Medication Dispensing Pacifier” (also similar to the patent in the Epilogue) was issued to David E. Noble from Sewickley Pennsylvania, on January 5, 1993.

For a closer look at some of these inventions as well as others I abandoned for one reason or another (and why), visit me at
AlexWellen.com
or
EurakaProductions.com

TOP billing goes to The Oracle, who read countless drafts and offered brilliant, critical, thoughtful advice and edits every step of the way. This book would have been impossible without my mother’s insight.

To Kris, the kindest person I know. Thank you for the boundless support and endless sacrifices. I wish I could write faster. I appreciate you not divorcing me. Some people don’t realize it, but if you rearrange the letters in “Paige,” subtract the P, A, G, and E, and add K, R, and S, you get “Kris”—my inspiration.

To my late father-in-law, Robert, and my sister-in-law, Sharon, two of the loveliest people I’ve ever known. You immediately welcomed me into your family and I love you.

To Shaye Areheart and Jenny Frost, my publishers, who challenged and encouraged me to embark on this first book of fiction. To Kate Kennedy, the wisest and most dedicated of editors; she immediately understood the message of the story and the sensibility of the characters. She has made me a better writer and this novel a far better book.

To Richard Morris, my agent and consigliere. Everyone needs a champion and partner; we truly have a ball writing books together.

To Po Bronson and The Writers Grotto. I feel so nostalgic and grateful for those magical two years in San Francisco, working full-time at the writer’s collective, feeding off such brilliant authors.

Because people say this, and I may never get an opportunity in this lifetime: I would also like to thank the Academy and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

Last, but not least, everyone else. Writers, readers, editors, and cheerleaders alike: Hugs and kisses to The Optimist, Nathaniel
Cash, Mike and Laura, Carolyn Disbrow, CNN, Maryanne Ortel, Vendela Vita, Jake Morrissey Sally Kim, Dave Rubin, Allan Fanucci, John Trimble, Olen Creech, my pharmacist advisers Alan Weickert, Neil Spector, and Diana Leong, and the charming and welcoming residents of Crockett, California.

ALEX WELLEN
is a writer, inventor, and Emmy Award-winning television producer for CNN who lives in Washington, D.C., with his wife and son. He is a
New York Times
contributor and has written for numerous national publications and appeared on a wide range of syndicated television and radio programs. On September 18, 2006, through an act of God, Wellen won the much-revered
New Yorker
Cartoon Caption Contest.

He is the author of the critically acclaimed non-fiction memoir
Barman. Lovesick
is his first novel.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2009 by Alex Wellen

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Three Rivers Press, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

www.crownpublishing.com

Three Rivers Press and the Tugboat design are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Wellen, Alex.
   Lovesick / Alex Wellen.—1st ed.
     p. cm.
   1. College students—Fiction. 2. Pharmacists—Fiction.    3. Family-owned business enterprises—Fiction. 4. Drugstores—Corrupt practices—Fiction. I. Title.      
PS3623.E4665L68 2009     
813′.6—dc22        2008051148

eISBN: 978-0-307-45995-4

Technical illustrations by Richard J. Gathercole

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