Love's Stormy Gale (Heartsong Presents) (14 page)

Chapter 18

J
onathan placed the maple wood baby cradle in front of Todd and Maggie’s fireplace, then topped it with a gigantic pink satin bow. He had stayed up late, sanding and finishing his masterpiece, rather than lying awake thinking of Olivia. “You think Maggie will like it?”

“Definitely.” Todd nodded. “Hey, do you want to stick around? We’ve got tons of food, and there are leftovers from Thanksgiving. Besides, with all these women coming for the baby shower, I’m sorely outnumbered.”

“You got a deal, man. I can handle it.” Jonathan belied the apprehension in his gut by giving Todd a grin.

Olivia would be coming to the baby shower. He hadn’t seen her since the day he’d kissed her on her father’s boat. How many times had he woken up in the night wishing for a repeat kiss?

The hardheaded woman had to be fooling herself. He’d felt the response to his kiss and knew she held as deep a passion as he did. Yet passion and companionship weren’t enough to cement a relationship together. Jonathan wanted mutual faith and trust, in each other and God.

Jonathan followed Todd to the kitchen, where Maggie was on her hands and knees, reaching into the back of a cabinet for something.

“Maggie! What do you think you’re doing?” Todd bellowed and ran for the cabinet.

“I’m getting a tray for the crackers,” came her muffled reply. “And don’t scare me like that. I nearly bashed my head on the cabinet.”

“Honey—” he reached for her waist “—you should have asked me for help. Or your mother. Where is she, by the way?”

“Upstairs, wrapping my gifts, she said.” Maggie emerged, red-faced and blowing dust from a metal tray. “You know, nothing like the last minute and all. Hey, Jon! You here for the food? My mother has been cooking and preparing in overdrive for this spread she’s laid out here.”

“You bet.” He poured a cup of coffee into a pink paper cup. “If you think you’ll need help eating it, I’m your man.” His stomach growled as he surveyed the trays of cold cuts, cheeses, potato chips and cut vegetables, and thought of his nearly empty refrigerator. “So how are you doing?”

“Other than feeling as big and round as that Santa at the mall, extremely fidgety because nobody will let me do anything, I’m fine.” Maggie practically glowed.

Jonathan imagined Olivia would look even more beautiful if she were pregnant someday. Deep down, he still harbored a hope that she might return his love and not let fear give her such torment.

He and Todd made sandwiches and retreated to Todd and Maggie’s combination exercise room and office. Why was he torturing himself for a chance to see Olivia?

They settled onto a pair of office chairs in front of Todd’s computer screen.

“See?” Todd brought up a program. “I have all the charter accounts on file. Come tax season, all I have to do is give a printout to my accountant and let her do the rest.”

“Of course, you don’t have much business this time of year.”

Todd shook his head. “No, not really. I’m thinking of opening a machine shop, to fix boat engines for small craft. Speaking of engines, what’s up with your boat?”

Jonathan didn’t want to think about it. “Working for Sam, I’ve gotten an advance to help me with the engine. It should arrive any day now. The guys and I are going to make one more trip out.” He dreaded the words to come. “My note is late at the bank.”

“Jon, why didn’t you say something, man? I could’ve chipped in to help.”

“You’ve got a baby on the way, it’s slow work for everybody this time of year. Nobody can spare the extra money.” If Todd wasn’t such a good friend, Jonathan couldn’t bear the humiliation of being in dire financial straits.

“That’s what we’re here for.” Todd punched his arm. “If you have a need, if I have a need, we should help each other. But I don’t know if you don’t tell me.”

“I appreciate it. But we’re leaving Monday. The men need the money, I’ve got bills to pay and the forecast looks good right now.” Jonathan tried to appear confident. “Just pray we have a good trip, is all I ask.”

The office door flew open. A woman from church poked her head in. “Hey, the ladies want to meet the carpenter.”

“No, that’s okay...” Jonathan began.

Todd gave him a shove. “Your public awaits.”

Jonathan glared at his friend. “Oh, thanks. Just what I need.” At least if he saw Olivia in the group, they wouldn’t have any confrontations or words. He wanted to see her, and hoped she’d see the love in his eyes.

* * *

Olivia’s heart thudded like a jackhammer when Jonathan entered the room. The women’s applause drowned out the pounding in her ears. She felt Belinda squeeze one of her hands that rested on her lap.

“Are you all right?” Belinda whispered.

“Yes...” She watched as Jonathan answered questions and received some good-natured ribbing from Maggie.

“That man loves you. It’s radiating all the way across the room.”

“I know he does, but it’s not enough.” Olivia bit into a carrot stick, hating the sound of her own words.

“We’ll talk about this on the way home, okay?”

Olivia nodded. Somehow, she’d get through the rest of the baby shower. Then her eyes locked with Jonathan’s, and a wave of love washed over her.

Lord, I don’t deserve him. I am cowardly and weak.

The remainder of the night was a blur. The painting reproduction she’d bought for the nursery made almost as big a hit as Jonathan’s cradle did. One thing was for sure, Jonathan showed his love for his friends, another quality that made him hard to forget.

“We’ll hang the picture right over the crib in the nursery.” Maggie gave Olivia a hug with tears in her eyes, then whispered in her ear, “Two beautiful gifts from our two best friends.”

Olivia and Belinda left after making sure Maggie didn’t try to do the dishes herself. Once inside Belinda’s sleek sedan, Olivia closed her eyes and leaned back on the leather seat.

“Maggie looked radiant tonight,” Belinda observed. “I’m glad the last part of her pregnancy has gone so well. Just over two weeks now, is it, until her due date?”

“That’s right.” Olivia faced the window.

“I was glad to see Jonathan, too. Because Isadore is over the flu, your father has more help than he can handle with the lobsters. I’m forbidding him to go out until spring, though.” Belinda gave a tiny laugh.

“Are you afraid?” She glanced at her mother.

“Mmm...sometimes, but not about your dad. I’ve had to realize that Sam’s Heavenly Father loves him so much more than I ever could. And I lo...” Her mother fell silent.

“You love him?”

Belinda nodded, the lights from an oncoming car revealing unshed tears. “Yes, I do. Very much. I wasted so many years running, so much time I could have had with both of you.” She fell silent, and Olivia let the silence hang between them for a few minutes. Her own throat caught. But they couldn’t rewind time. There were no do-overs.

Belinda sucked in a deep breath before continuing. “But I know that God is in control of what happens to Sam. No matter what I do. If He loves Sam, He’ll do what’s best for him. So I keep reminding myself of that fact. I kind of tend to take over and try to run things when it’s not my responsibility.”

Olivia grinned in the dark. How many times had she barged in and called the shots? Maybe she was more like her mother than she’d realized.

“So you’re not trying to keep Dad off his boat because you’re afraid, then?”

“No, it’s for his health. He tends to be rather hardheaded.”

“I’ve noticed that.” Olivia found a laugh coming out, which turned into a groan. “Between your take-charge attitude and Dad’s hardheadedness, I’m all set.”

“Aw, c’mon. It’s not that bad. I’m one of the top commercial real estate agents in the Boston area, thanks to the gift God’s given me. The negative aspects of our personalities can be used for good things, you know, once we let God have control of our lives.” Belinda turned the car into the driveway. “Listen to me, I’m getting preachy. Sorry. It’s not my place.”

“That’s all right. I’m glad you came tonight. The other ladies seemed happy to see you.” Olivia remembered what it had felt like that summer, trying to reenter a life she’d left behind. Only she hadn’t been gone for decades. Compassion for Belinda surged through her. A mere flicker of anger at her mother’s abandonment sputtered, then died.

Was it progress? Was she learning to love her mother and forgive her? Olivia hoped so.

* * *

Sleep refused to come that night. Jonathan lay awake instead, watching the lights of the harbor outside his apartment window.

What if by some chance, Olivia changed her mind and allowed herself to love him? What could he give her? He tossed the covers off and padded on the chilly hardwood floor to get a cup of instant coffee.

If things didn’t improve, he’d end up losing both the apartment and the boat. At least the Jeep was paid for. Jonathan smirked as he put a cup of water in the microwave. Olivia hadn’t been brought up with wealth, but what she did have was better than this.

“Lord, I’m looking at this all wrong, I know. You’ve provided for me all along in spite of myself. If, or I should say, when Olivia agrees to be my wife, You’ll continue caring for us. And wherever we live, she’ll bring her sweet touches with her.” He continued his conversation with God until the coffee was ready.

Christmas was coming, and he had nothing to give Olivia. Maybe, just maybe, if this voyage was successful, he could pay a few bills current and buy her a ring.

Olivia wore a size six band. He’d measured one of her rings that she’d left on top of the shelf above her kitchen sink. The jeweler had assured him a ruby and diamond ring would be lovely for an engagement ring. Not the usual ring; but then Olivia wasn’t a usual woman.

So much hinged on this upcoming fishing trip and on Olivia’s change of heart. Jonathan shook his head and took his coffee outside onto the small porch. The air bit into him. Snow. He felt the dampness, though the sky was clear with thousands of stars twinkling above. They were due their first snowstorm of the year. He prayed the clear weather would hold.

* * *

“Frances, I’m wondering if the apartment above your shop is still empty.” Olivia was sitting across from Frances at the Sea Dawg. The woman had accepted her invitation to lunch on Monday.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. The last applicants backed out after they saw the tiny bathroom.” Frances’s new honey-colored hair made her appear years younger.

“Well, I’m interested. I could stop by the store for an application.”

Frances smiled. “Nonsense. Forget an application. I’ll even waive the security deposit. You were almost family once. That still counts to me.”

“Thank you.”

“It’s crowded at home with two women, isn’t it?” Frances took a bite of her seafood salad.

“Yeah. I’m thinking my parents need their space, and my original reason for coming home doesn’t exist anymore. Dad doesn’t need me to help him. He’s got—” Olivia realized the word “Mom” nearly sprang from her lips as naturally as if she’d called Belinda Mom her whole life.

Frances nodded. “I know. It’s time to let go. Like I should have been ready to let Robby go when he decided to marry you....” She frowned, the wrinkles deepening on her face.

“It’s okay.” Olivia squeezed Frances’s hand. “You can visit me for coffee anytime you like.”

They chatted about the apartment for a while longer, then Olivia decided to spend the afternoon Christmas shopping. She and Frances parted, promising to meet again to discuss her move-in date.

Christmas would be slim this year, but Olivia didn’t mind. It was the first Christmas she’d be with her family. Her real family. Jonathan, she’d heard, was flying to Florida to see his parents. Maggie and Todd would be busy with their very special gift by then.

Belinda would appreciate some handcrafted jewelry. Olivia stopped by Frances’s shop and went to the display where Genevieve, a lady from church, sold some elegant pieces from estates as well as jewelry crafted by local artisans. She found a necklace and earring set that would match one of her mother’s suits.

The noonday weather forecast caught Olivia’s attention. One of the other employees had set the dial to the local station.

“It looks like snow is coming our way,” the reporter announced. “Combined with a cold front crossing over Cape Cod, the Fairport area could receive anywhere from four to eight inches of snow, with higher amounts farther inland. But that’s not all. Batten down the hatches for wind gusts up to fifty miles per hour.” The announcer finished the forecast, cautioning boaters and Christmas shoppers alike.

“Brr, it already makes me feel colder!” Genevieve said as she arranged a display.

“I think the temperature’s been dropping all day. I might stop shopping after this and just go home for the afternoon and write.” Olivia touched an elegant ring, then set it down.

“I hope Jonathan and his guys are going to be okay.”

Olivia turned her head to stare at Genevieve. “What?”

Genevieve’s dark eyes rounded. “Oh, I thought you knew. Jonathan took his boat out for a run with the new engine. Jeremy mentioned to pray for him yesterday in Sunday school.”

“I didn’t know.” She’d skipped Sunday school yesterday, and had instead joined her parents for breakfast.

“Well,” Genevieve said as she wrapped Belinda’s gift, “I’m sure Jonathan kept an eye on the forecast.”

“Yes, I hope he did.” But Olivia’s stomach threatened to drop to her feet.

Chapter 19

C
louds were building up to the northwest, and the wind attacked the crew of the
Isabella Rose
with a vengeance. Jonathan kept an eye on the rapidly changing forecast. One more set of nets to pull in, and they would head for home. If the crew had become jittery, none of them let on. They were eager for a good haul and to return to their families.

The last look at Doppler radar had shown Jonathan there was plenty of time to return before the storm struck with its fury. By the time the snow fell, he’d be home again, warm and safe.

He listened to the rumbling engine doing its job below.
Thank You, Lord, for friends who care. And thank You for making my dream possible. Now see us home to safe harbor.

“Everything okay, Jon?” Stumpy stuck his head into the pilothouse.

“Yeah, we’re doing fine. Let’s wrap this up quick, though. We’ve got some weather coming in.” He followed the older man into the cold.

The boat gave a wild pitch. Stumpy’s feet slid, and the man struck the deck’s railing. His boots went over the side last.

“Stumpy!” Jonathan dashed to the side. He slammed into the railing. “Grab on!” He leaned over, extending a boat hook into the frothing water.

The other men rallied around; a pair of hands clamped onto Jonathan’s waders, preventing him from joining Stumpy in the icy waves.
Lord, help!
What looked like a wall of angry black ocean headed straight for them.

* * *

Olivia jerked awake, sprawled on her bed. The late-afternoon twilight had come; she’d actually fallen asleep reading, despite her worry about Jonathan. But Todd had assured her Jonathan would be fine.

The delightful smells of her mother’s corned beef and cabbage dinner reached Olivia’s bedroom. Belinda had looked surprised when Olivia told her about the apartment. It was for the best, she reminded herself. Her parents didn’t need her hanging around. Besides, she was an adult woman who needed a place of her own.

Jonathan. His face came to mind, the look she loved best, a day’s worth of beard, black curly hair and snapping eyes.

“Protect him, Lord. Bring him home safe. Thank You for watching him even when I’m not there.” Worry still niggled the pit of her stomach.

Looking at the snow falling outside, whipped around by the wind, didn’t help either. Olivia yanked her curtains closed to block out the sight, and went to find safety in the warmth downstairs.

Belinda sat at the computer, entering figures and talking on her cell phone. “Yes, I know it’s the holiday season. Well, see what you can work out. The Karwoskis want to start renovating the building by New Year’s. I understand.” She ended the call and faced Olivia. “Hey. Your father’s on his way home from his radiation treatment.”

“How’s that? I didn’t think we were letting him drive back and forth.”

“Maggie had an OB appointment today, so she and Todd took him along to the medical center. They should be here any time now. Maybe they’ll stay for supper.” Belinda clicked on the mouse, and the figures disappeared.

“That sounds nice. I’ve missed seeing her lately.” Olivia worried her lower lip with her top teeth.

“Are you doing okay?”

“I can’t believe Jonathan did something so stupid.” Olivia smacked a clenched fist on the desktop. “He knew the weather could turn, he knew there’s not a big chance of bringing in a good haul. So why did he do it?” She paced the entryway.

Belinda sighed. “I honestly don’t know. I never pretended to understand the compulsion these men have with the sea.” A crease appeared on her forehead. “I need to check on supper.” Belinda left her place at the computer and headed to the kitchen.

The front door opened behind Olivia. She turned. “Dad, how did it go?” Olivia hugged him and shivered from the cold air he brought inside.

“As well as usual. I’ll be glad when I’m done with this. Hope I don’t glow in the dark afterward. Todd’s bringing Maggie in.” Her father turned and held the door for Todd, whose arm was around Maggie’s shoulders. Her stomach protruded from the front of her coat buttoned at the neck.

“Hey, Liv. It looks like we’re going to stay here for a while. Maggie’s dilated to three centimeters, so the doctor told us to wait it out until her contractions get closer together.” Todd took the coat from his wife’s shoulders.

“Of course you will. Our house is closer to the medical center than yours is out on that shoreline. The roads are probably getting slick anyway. We’ll have a slumber party. Sort of.” Olivia noted the pained look on Maggie’s face. “Maggie, go ahead and sit down. Dad might even give up his easy chair for you.”

“I don’t feel like sitting down.” Maggie’s features softened. “Sorry. I’ve been getting twinges ever since my exam. And I didn’t want to be cooped up at the hospital all day.”

Todd was busily punching numbers on his cell phone. His face blanched while he listened to his messages. “Liv.”

“What is it?” She shouldn’t have asked, didn’t want to hear what came next.

“I had a message from the harbormaster’s office. They lost contact with Jonathan’s boat over an hour ago.”

* * *

Jonathan felt the icy tentacles of fear wrapping around his entire being. The cold of the ocean was nothing compared to this bitter feeling.

The boat had righted itself after rolling with the impact of a waterwall. Unfortunately, the radar and satellite antennas had snapped off with the force of the pressure. Jeff kept trying to get a signal with his digital phone to call Todd.

Only survival mattered now.

After they’d rescued Stumpy from the water, they collectively decided to make a run for home. Jonathan had noted their heading, which pointed to Fairport. Now they had just a compass to guide them.

It would be easier to give in, to allow the wind and the waves to batter them until the storm gave out.

Head for home, head for home, head for home
repeated urgently in his head. He gripped the helm, feeling the power of the water trying to rip control of the boat from his hands.
Lord, You are the Master of the sea. I commit the rest of this voyage to You.

Olivia would be frantic. Jonathan’s thoughts were with her, wherever she was.

* * *

The corn beef chased the cabbage around Olivia’s plate several times before she gave up on eating. She joined Maggie in the living room, where her friend sat hugging a pillow.

“How are you?” Olivia watched Maggie breathe through a contraction.

“I’m fine. Sort of.” Maggie relaxed her hold on the pillow. “But I could ask you the same question.”

“I’m ready to pace the house if it would help.” Olivia tried to put a brave smile on her face. “I can’t believe Todd let you leave the hospital.”

“I’m more relaxed here. If need be, it’s a close drive to the medical center. Your dad was a sweetheart to give up his recliner.” Maggie reached for her cup of ice. “The smell of that food is killing me. Wish I could eat something!”

“I wish I could, too. Oh, it’s six now. Turn on the news for Dad.” Olivia sat back, knowing the storm would be a highlight of the local news.

Native New Englanders dealt with and lived through weather rather than feared it. Olivia knew one winter storm wasn’t a big deal. Out on the water, though, it was a different story.

“Tonight, a nor’easter barrels down from Canada, bringing plenty of wind and snow. A cold front has stalled over Cape Cod, holding the Massachusetts coast in an icy grip with the two fronts. More after the headlines.” The news anchor went on to talk about holiday sales figures and other matters that Olivia tuned out. What she really wanted to do was find out more about Jonathan’s heading, where he was when they lost contact with him. While the rest of the world thought about presents and holiday activities, Olivia focused on one fishing boat somewhere off the coast.

She could ask Todd, but she knew his concern was focused on Maggie and the upcoming arrival of the baby.

Todd settled onto the love seat with a cup of coffee. He held his cell phone in one hand, his thumb nimbly tapping the number keys. “That’s strange.”

“What’s that, honey?” Maggie said through clenched teeth.

“Somebody called and didn’t leave a message, but I don’t know the number. And all I hear on the voice mail is static.”

“Todd, where did the harbormaster say they lost touch with Jonathan?”

“About fifty miles out, just offshore.”

Olivia sighed. Fifty miles. In good weather, the trip would take them hours. Tonight, their return would be nothing short of a nightmare voyage.

She sat up when she heard the weather forecast. “Tonight, the coastal waves will be eight to ten feet, with possibly double the size further from shore. It’s not a night for sailing,” the meteorologist joked.

“Waves up to twenty feet offshore?” Olivia went for her coat, scarf and gloves. “I’m going out for a while.”

“No! The roads are getting worse,” her father called out.

“I’ll be fine. Where are my gloves?” Olivia fumbled around the entryway shelf. She’d left them upstairs. Taking the steps two at a time, she nearly collided with Belinda at the top of the stairs.

“Did you hear something? Where are you going?” Belinda held her by the elbows.

“Out.” Olivia stood back. “I’ll be careful. I’ve got my phone.”

She left before anyone talked her out of it. The cold night surrounded her, snow stinging her face. Olivia brushed two inches of snow from her car’s windshield. Not too bad so far. Just the wind that clawed and tore at her until she shut the car door.

Olivia let the engine idle until the defroster starting doing its job. Where was she going? She didn’t want to drive and wander too far, then get stuck somewhere. Downtown seemed the best idea.

The car brought her to the waterfront on Western Avenue, to the statue of the Fisherman of Fairport. She parked the car and let it idle. The monument stood in the feeble glow of the streetlamps, lighting up the snow whipping across the little plaza. Olivia could quote the verse gracing the monument. “They that go down to the sea in ships.” She reached for her Bible that she’d left in the car from Sunday service, and turned the pages to Psalm 107.

She kept reading. “Who do business on great waters, they see the wonders of the Lord, and His wonders of the deep. For He commands and raises the stormy wind, which lifts up the waves of the sea. They mount up to the heavens, they go down again to the depths; their soul melts because of trouble.

“They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wits’ end. Then they cry out to the Lord in their trouble, and He brings them out of their distresses.

“He calms the storm, so that its waves are still. Then they are glad because they are quiet; so He guides them to their desired haven.”

The windshield wipers kept up their relentless
swish-swish, swish-swish
. Olivia leaned her head back against the headrest. Was Jonathan reeling to and fro, like the ones in the psalm? There was nothing she could do except wait and pray.

Outside, the storm’s wildness beckoned, wind gusts tapping the car as if daring Olivia to venture into the gale. She turned off the ignition, tucked her keys into her purse and reached for her Bible. No storm would keep her huddled in a car.

She stepped onto the snowy road, securing her car and noticing that the weekday traffic had dwindled. On any normal night, the good citizens would be traveling home and stopping off at the market for this or that. Except tonight, Olivia realized as she trudged to the circular plaza where the statue stood and faced the open water.

Where was Jonathan? And why did the fear rise up with every wave that battered the edges of the harbor? The inky waters swallowed up the innocence of the driving white snow.

“I can do this!” The wind carried her shout away as she walked onto the harborfront pier. “I’m stronger now, God, I am!”

Yet she had come full circle and still felt no different. A man she loved was in peril. Her best friend needed her, and here she stood at the harbor, wrestling with a situation over which she had no control.

Olivia sank onto a snow-covered bench and bowed her head. “I’m foolish and I’m weak. That’s it. I’m not in control.” She looked up at the figure of the fisherman. “I couldn’t help Maggie, couldn’t save Robby, couldn’t keep Dad from getting sick...couldn’t keep Mom from leaving us.” The tears chilled on her cheeks. “And I can’t save Jonathan now.”

She shivered despite her long wool coat, the cold seeming to penetrate to her soul. “Mom was right. Frances was right. I can’t control many of the things or people in my life.”

She had decided to follow God when she was a young child, and all along the way she had yanked the reins of her life from Him, or tried to, whenever it was convenient or things looked too scary.

The wind flapped the pages of her Bible, not allowing her gloved fingers to find the verse that came to mind. Something about the Lord caring for His people like a shepherd tends his sheep. He loved them and protected them.

“I’ve been wrong.” Olivia wasn’t sure if she was praying or talking to herself. Maybe she’d better sit in the car. Even if no one saw her, at least she could read in relative comfort.

Only when she saw her purse on the front seat of her locked car did she realize her mistake.

* * *

“Get that other pump going!” Jonathan shouted across the hold at Freddy, who closed the casing on the pump. The bilge pump Jonathan was working on was refusing to cooperate. If they went into a barrel roll and took on too much water, the ship wouldn’t right herself again. And then the
Isabella Rose
would join the
Lady Jane
at her final resting place. The inflatable raft would be battered in these seas and useless.

He heard noises from above. Stumpy had the helm. Jeff was shouting into the cell phone. “I think I’m getting through! Hang on down there!”

Jonathan tried to respond, but his work on the pump was rewarded when the pump roared to life. The ceiling turned into the floor, and Jonathan crashed to the other side of the hold.

“Look out!”

A rush of water swept through the hold. Jonathan lost his footing. A searing crack of pain reverberated in his skull. Nausea came as he saw blood mingling with the seawater. Then the roaring began in his ears and his vision went fuzzy.