Love's Learning Curve (32 page)

I’m not sure how I make it out of the house without losing it.  Morgan … of all people I would have expected this from?  Never her.  Now, everything makes sense, though.  My mother’s claws were so much deeper than I ever expected.  Morgan was probably relaying all my secrets long before college.  I’m hurt.  I’m angry.  I regret the guilt I felt for locking her out.  I regret the time I wasted on a friendship I thought was real.  But I will not cry.  I will not ache and mourn the loss of them.  I’ve given them more of myself than they ever deserved.

Tyler is the one who I will mourn.  I welcome the guilt I feel.  I think I wanted to believe he had a fault big enough to let me down.  I waited at every turn for the other shoe to drop.  I looked for the flaws Morgan warned me about trying to prove her right, instead of trusting what I felt from the start.  It was never enough that he showed me that I was cherished. 

Tyler and I were doomed from the start.  We just didn’t know it.  He saw every crack and flaw in me and didn’t run.  I gave him so many chances to let me down, and even when I thought he was going to, he didn’t.  He made every second I waited for him worth it over and over.  As tough as his exterior is, he let me in.  He made it clear he wanted me in his life, but my self-confidence wouldn’t let me believe it. 

I didn’t read the complete article, the pain was too powerul.  I don’t understand, but maybe if I’d given him the chance to explain as he’d pleaded on any one of the hundreds of texts or messages, I would get it. 

I let him down.  That, I regret.  That, I can’t take back.  Every second over the past week I’ve spent picking up the shattered pieces of myself, I deserved.  I knew I was no good for him belonging to the family I did.  He wanted the chance to prove we were right together, and he did it.  I felt it.  But I let him down.

I packed enough things to get me through the next couple of weeks before I left fully planning to go back to my rescue heaven.   I want to be where I’m wanted.  But, before I do, I have something way more important to do. 

I hope he’s home, but if not, I’ll wait.  Waiting is the least I can do at this point.  A text warning him that I was coming would have been considerate, but after everything, he may not receive it well.  How many chances can I expect him to give me to let him down? 

It’s raining buckets.  Looks like Mother Nature is setting up the perfect scenery for what I need to do.  I walk quickly to the front porch trying to shield myself from the pelting drops, but it's useless.  My hands shake as I knock.  When there’s no answer, I ring the doorbell.  Still nothing.  I knock again.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Nothing.

Feeling defeated, I turn looking out at the sky shedding the tears I understand.  With no more energy remaining to fight for the life I want to deserve, I sit on the cold, damp concrete step of the front porch.

I was the last one to leave the field again today.  The team is headed up to the sports bar, but I didn’t want to be there.  Hell, I don’t want to be home either.  The problem is the one place I want to be isn’t an option.  Charlie is hurting, and it’s killing me that I had a part in that, but it’s not what she thinks.

I can’t even keep track of the number of conversations I had with her voicemail before it was full.  I’ve texted her so many times begging for a chance to explain. 

The minute I make the turn into the cul-de-sac, I see it and wonder if my mind is playing tricks on me.  But there’s no way that’s not her car.  As I drive past it, I see it’s empty.  I pray silently that she’s found the key I left under the mat today.  Every day this past week, I’ve left the door unlocked hoping that maybe she’d be here one day when I got home.  It never happened, but even as I turned the lock today, I couldn’t bear the thought that she’d be locked out, so I left the key under the mat.

I park and jump out of the truck racing toward the front door.  I see her sitting on the stoop at the front door hunched over with her arms wrapped around her legs.  Her face is resting on her knees as she sleeps.  Tracks from her tears line her cheek.  Mist from the raindrops settles in her hair.  She looks lost and broken, but she’s here.  Finally.  Nothing can ever take away her beauty because, with Charlotte Baker, it’s not just skin deep.  She’s never looked more beautiful.

I kneel beside her, running my hand down the contour of her spine as I lean in pressing my lips to her cheek.  She startles, and her eyes pop open as she realizes I’m here.

“Ty?  You’re here.  I was waiting for you.”  I don’t respond to state the obvious.  Instead, I pull her into my arms and stand.  Her legs wrap around my waist, and her hands go to either side of my face as she stares into my eyes. 

"You came back, buttercup," I say, holding her tightly.  “You came back.”  I’m not sure what brought her here, but no matter what it is, I’ll take it. 

“I came to apologize.  I came to tell you that it was never your fault.  It was so easy to believe it was you, but it wasn’t.  It was always me.  I just didn’t realize at the time all the bad guys were just over my shoulder.  We were set up to fail before we ever had a chance,” she says regretfully.

“Baby, I’ve been set up to fail my whole life, but I never learned how to do it, and I can promise, I’m not going to learn now.”  I mean every word.  My lips press firmly to hers. 

“I'm so sorry, Ty.  I'm just so sorry.  I should’ve never doubted you.  I was wrong, one million percent.  It is the biggest mistake of my life," she says as I watch the tears fall from her face. 

“Charlotte, there’s going to be mistakes; it goes with the territory.  This is new to us.  All I know is mastering love’s learning curve has more rewards than I ever imagined, and I’m willing to work for them.  I just need my partner in it with me. Together.  Because failure isn’t an option.”

I’m not sure how long I stand on the porch with her in my arms kissing her, taking everything she’s willing to give.  What I know is that it was worth it.

(One month later)

“Time to get up, hotshot,” I whisper laying soft kisses on his face as I climb onto him straddling him and rubbing his shoulders as he wakes. 

He groans, wrapping his fingers around my hips firmly, pressing my bottom into his groin where one muscle on his body is very much awake.  “I feel sorry for people who need to drink coffee in the morning to wake up,” he says briskly as he flips me reversing our positions so that I’m pinned to the mattress under him.

“Good morning, handsome,” I say, smiling a smile that I never have to fake and wouldn’t try to anyway.  Tyler can see right through me. 

“Yes, buttercup.  It is a very good morning indeed.”  He has that feisty look in his eye, and I know that it’ll be a challenge to get out of the house on time this morning, but since falling in love with Ty, I’m starting to excel at facing a good challenge.

“I see that look in your eye, mister, and it’s not happening.  We spent the better part of last night in this playground.  Today is important, and I want to see my guy walk across that stage, so put your toy away and get in the shower.”

“You meant to say your fiancé, right?  That’s what you meant instead of ‘your guy.’  I know it.”  He pushes his girth between my legs rubbing against my clit.  As much as I try to restrain the moan of pleasure it brings, there’s no chance.  He knows my button.  “Seems like you like my man toy, love.”

The fact that we’re both naked already is the only saving grace at this moment because I’m not leaving this bed until he’s had his way with me, and truthfully, I don’t want to.  Tyler has been on a hell-bent mission to convince me to marry him, and pleasuring me often is a method of demonstrating how amazing it would be, but he hasn’t proposed really, and until he does, I won’t do it.  And I’m happy to sacrifice a few more orgasms until that point.

He leans in and licks, laying kisses down my neck and chest.  His hand caresses my body as it heads south to the place I want it to be.  I reach between us stroking him.

“You’ll agree, buttercup.  Wait and see.”  He reaches between us flicking his fingers across the bud then slides his digits into me.  “Wet already, dammit.  I was hoping you wouldn’t save me time this morning.”

“Ty, I’m leaving the playground if you don’t put the swing in motion.  Today is a big day, and we’re not missing it,” I demand, knowing I’m powerless to his touch, and my threats are empty.

He makes quick work removing his hand, and I position him right at my center.  He slowly slides into my folds, and I feel myself stretching as he glides in.  He feels amazing.  He’s a smart man to talk about marriage while he’s making my body sing.  He watches me engulfed in pleasure before linking our mouths.

With Ty, everything has changed.  I’ve learned so much over the past few months.  It’s hard to believe it’s been such a short time that we’ve known each other, but we’ve proved love doesn’t have a timeline.  The learning curve is steep, but it’s worth it.   

“I love you, Tyler Stone.”  I’m rewarded with a sparkle in his eye, and his trademark worthy side-smile that he knows is my weakness, but that I crave nonetheless.

“More than life itself, Charlie.  Always.  Please say yes and stop putting off the inevitable.  We both know I won’t fail.”  His pace increases, and I feel the shiver of pleasure going through me.  Rising higher and higher.