Love's Fate (Love Trilogy #1) (17 page)

“Just thought I’d stop by and see what you were doing tonight.” I finally finished my garbled sentence trying to sound casual, but feeling anything but.

“Oh… Uh… This is Rick.”  She said gesturing to the guy next to her.

He stepped forward and eyed me competitively. I looked him over once and knew without a doubt I could crush him. He was polished and pretty in his little suit. So was that her type?

“Pleased to meet you.”  Rick said offering his hand, the look on his face said he was anything but pleased. We shook hands and he immediately backed away. Wimp.

“Rick invited me to a fundraiser tonight…”  Katherine trailed off, she looked nervous.

This was awkward. No point in dragging it out any longer.

“Well you two have fun.”
I said in my best impression of
nonchalance I could manage. “See you around Katherine.”  I left before it could get any
more uncomfortable if that were even possible.

I drove straight to the beach and jogged up the trail to my cliff.

For the first hour I couldn’t even think. I just stared numbly at the waves below, a storm was brewing the ocean was restless. I was restless. I had to move, I couldn’t sit still. I climbed down the face of the cliff to the beach below and paced along the shore.

High tide was coming in and the tide pools were beginning to overflow. I watched as a trapped eel circled the small tide pool that now contained him. I imagined that he felt very confused with the abrupt turn his life had just taken.

Surely he had been chasing some tasty little fish he’d planned on having for dinner. He had his eye on his goal and was moving toward it, but then suddenly with the crash of a wave he was derailed. He was trapped left to circle and wonder what to do now.

My life had been on such a sure course. Fate had brought Katherine to me. Not once but three times. How could I possibly have any path other than her? I felt like we were building something. I had a plan. I thought she felt the same.

She hadn’t expected me to come tonight.

She had a date. She’d had her hair done. How long had she had this date planned? Probably before we’d even met. Obviously my presence in her life hadn’t altered her course the way it had mine. When I finally found her three nights ago my path instantly changed course, everything suddenly revolved around her. I would’ve given up anything to be with her, know her.

She hadn’t even cancelled her date.

I
had
assumed she felt what I felt. I
had
assumed she wanted what I wanted. I had seen the intensity in her eyes, felt it in her kiss. Did she kiss him like that? My blood boiled at the thought of that prissy little wimp trying to kiss her.

I thought about the perfectly pressed suit he’d worn. I didn’t even own a suit. She had looked beautiful in that sexy blue dress. She hadn’t dressed like that for our dates. Why not? Did she think just because I was a painter I couldn’t take her somewhere nice? Is that what she wanted? Fancy suits and expensive restaurants? He probably worked at a bank, he looked like he worked at a bank. Maybe an accountant.

I stayed on the beach sulking until it grew dark and cold. I realized that aside from our first night together when I’d so ineptly confessed my feelings for her I had been making a great effort to contain them. Maybe I’d done that too well. Maybe I’d been too casual. Maybe she didn’t realize how deep my feelings for her ran. Was that even possible?

I felt like I’d been totally transparent, trying desperately to control the overwhelming emotions I’d felt around her. I had assumed she felt the same as I did, but was it possible that she didn’t even know what I felt? Well I would not make that mistake again. If I saw her again I would not hold back. I would let her know how I felt, and give her the choice to take it or leave it. I only hoped that I would see her again.

With new determination I climbed my way back up the side of the
cliff
. It was much harder to navigate after dark. I grunted as I pulled myself up over the edge and sat there a moment catching my breath.

“I thought I’d find you here.”  Katherine’s voice came from behind me.

I worked without enthusiasm. I was weighed down by the emotions that had hung heavily on me since my horrible date with Michael the night before. I tried not to let the despair overtake me. I had been so sure that he had felt something for me, but last night had shown me differently. He had been so indifferent toward me. Acted as though I wasn’t even there. No. That wasn’t it exactly. He had acted as if my presence was unbearable. He could barely sit through a movie with me. He couldn’t get rid of me quickly enough, blowing me off as soon as the movie was over.

I felt so hopeless and empty as I drifted through my day. I was able to avoid Amy’s scrutiny through the morning rush, but it didn’t last long enough.

“Okay
, what’s going on Katherine?
You look like someone died.”  S
he said following me into the kitchen as soon as our shop had emptied that morning.

I shrugged not sure how to explain.

“Is it about Michael?”  S
he asked sympathetically
.

I felt my throat tighten and the tears burn behind my lids, but I’d promised myself I wouldn’t cry over him again so I sucked it back before I answered.

“I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again.”  I told her trying hard to concentrate on the dough I was kneading so that I wouldn’t have to meet her concerned stare.

“Why?” S
he asked softly putting her hand on my shoulder.

“I don’t know.”  I whispered
.

“What happened?”  S
he prodded gently
.

“I don’t know. We went to the movies last night and… and nothing. I mean we didn’t talk, he seemed weird, it ended weird. I just don’t know what happened.”

“Sometimes when you have someone built up into a fantasy it’s hard for them to live up to it.”  Amy suggested
.

“But that’s just the thing. He had lived up to it. I mean he was everything I’d always imagined him to be. Our first date was great. We laughed and talked and it was perfect, he was perfect… but then… I don’t know.” 

Just then the doorbells chimed and Amy turned to glance out the kitchen window.

“Guess who?”  S
he said looking out the small round window on the
kitchen
door.

My heart leapt as I rushed to her side to look out the window with her. Then my heart sank to my feet. It was Rick.

“Oh G
od, not today
.
”  I moaned.

“I think today is perfect.”  Amy decided “Rick is just what you need right now. Nothing like a little male attention to boost a girl
’s spirits.”
And with that she pushed me through the kitchen door before I knew what she was doing.

“Katherine!”  Rick said looking at me like a hopeful puppy dog.

“Hey Rick.”  I said already planning my revenge against Amy for throwing me to the wolves like this, again. Well to be fair it was more like throwing me to a puppy dog, but the sentiment still applied.

“I’ve been thinking about what a great time I had the other night.”  Rick said grinning his Cheshire cat grin

“Yeah, thanks again for dinner. It was nice.”

“Look I know this is short notice, but there’s this fundraiser that my firm is holding tonight and I was hoping you might be free.”  I could practically imagine his tail wagging
.

“You bet she’s free.”  Amy said from behind me and I twirled around to shoot daggers at her with my eyes. What was she doing?

“Great!”  Rick exclaimed “Ok
ay
so it’s semi-formal. Starts at 5. How about I just meet you here when you close shop?”  I had the feeling he was talking so fast so I wouldn’t have the chance to back out.

“Sure.”  I conceded.

I didn’t have the energy to think of a decent excuse not to go, and poor Rick looked so eager. Besides, I thought with a sinking despair, Michael hadn’t asked to see me again tonight.

Amy insisted on going home to bring me a dress that she thought I should wear. When she returned she was fully armed with an arsenal of curling irons, hair spray and make-up. I had the suspicion that she’d only pushed me into another date so that she could play dress up with me again.

I cooperated. Allowing her to primp all she wanted until I was buffed, sprayed and polished to her satisfaction. I had no excitement over the upcoming evening. I was just ready to get it over with.

Rick arrived on schedule and I looked at myself one last time in the small bathroom mirror. I didn’t even recognize myself. I hated these formal events. I was out of my element.

I walked out into the lobby and saw Rick talking with Amy. He was elegantly dressed in a very handsome suit, every hair in perfect order on his head. I tried to show the proper amount of enthusiasm for the evening as I strode over to greet him.

Then Amy cleared her throat and I realized she was staring across the shop. I followed her line of sight and saw Michael staring back at me.

His dark hair was tousled and falling into his eyes, he wore a paint stained t-shirt and an old pair of jeans. He took my breath away. I was shocked and thrilled to see him. I hadn’t expected to see him again. Not after the way he’d acted last night. I had convinced myself that he was not interested in me. That the emotions I’d felt were one sided. But the fire that burned in his eyes as he stared at Rick told me differently.

I fumbled through an awkward introduction wondering what to do. I wanted to talk to Michael alone. I wanted to know why he’d come tonight, I wanted to understand the meaning behind the look in his eyes. But suddenly the fire cooled he smiled lightly and said “See you around Katherine” as he strode out the door and out of my life again.

My heart followed. It was all I could do not to run after him. I was terrified that I would never see him again. I was torn between my love for him and my pride.

To run after him would be to abandon all pride. It would mean laying my feelings out for him to accept or reject. After the emotional roller coaster I’d been on over the last few days I wasn’t sure if I could take the rejection.

So I let him walk away, and I went to the fundraiser with Rick. I’m not sure what we were raising funds for. I’m not sure if I even spoke at all throughout the evening. My thoughts never left Michael. I couldn’t stand the not knowing. Not knowing how he felt. Not knowing where this was going. I’d spent too long waiting for him, thinking of him to play this game now. I decided rejection was better than not knowing.

I would do it. I would put it all out there. I needed to know what he felt for me, so I would start by telling him what I felt for him. If he was interested in me he was going to tell me. If not then he would have to tell me that too.

I left Rick at his fundraiser with an apology and not much explanation. I took a cab to the beach and walked out to the cliff where I’d hoped I would find Michael. He was there, sitting on the edge.

“I thought I’d find you here.”  I said and he turned around and stood to face me.

The sun had set and it was too dark to read the expression on his face. We stood quietly in a moment of darkness then he took three long strides forward closing the distance between us and without a word took me in his arms.

I felt his hard mouth crush over mine with a need that matched my own. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair just as I had imagined doing and grabbed fistfuls of it as he deepened the kiss. I moaned and leaned back as his mouth trailed down across my neck and back up again. His arms pulled me tight against him and I felt a warmth growing inside me that I had never known. Not until Michael.

Slowly he softened the kiss and then gently pulled away. He stroked his hand down my cheek and I could see the depths of his blue eyes glowing in the dark.

“I can’t control myself with you.” He whispered.

“Then don’t
.”
I said straining up to kiss him again.

The kiss was soft this time, not as urgent as the first but still it stirred my desire. It felt so good to finally be kissing him. To feel his arms around me. To have broken through the wall that had been between us. All the words I’d thought to say were lost. All that mattered was this one moment. This kiss.

“Did you eat?” he asked pulling his face back but still holding my body tight against his.

“No
.”
I whispered against his neck as I leaned in to kiss his throat. It felt so good to finally feel free to kiss him. I didn’t want to stop.

“Is my rain check for dinner still good?” he asked as he nuzzled my neck.

My heart leaped as I nodded my head, unable to speak. He kept his arm wrapped around my waist as he led me back to his truck.

“Where’s your car?”  H
e asked when we got to the dirt lot.

“Still at the bakery. I took a cab here.” I admitted sheepishly
.