Love's Dream Song (33 page)
Authors: Sandra Leesmith
His voice was calm and deep when he began. “Last night I couldn’t sleep. I ended up in the room where I’ve stored all my father’s things.”
The light waned, but she could still see the intensity of his expression. She listened.
“My mother’s personal items are in there also; it’s a room to store things of the past.”
A coyote howled on the butte across the canyon. Jess continued. “Because in my mind the past was buried, I put all the gifts that Daya had given me in that room—everything that had to do with
Dineh
. I went in there. I guess you could call it a trip to the past.”
“Did you find what you were looking for?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I’m not sure. I still can’t resolve all of it, but I think I want to try.”
“That’s a start.” She wanted to reach out and touch him, but she refrained, afraid of breaking the intimacy of the moment. Her fingers curled into her lap.
He held up the flute and serenaded her with a few bars of the melody he’d played earlier. When he finished he smiled. “Daya gave me this flute. She taught me the songs of the ancient ones.”
“I’m glad you still want to remember them.”
“I discovered while I was in that room and riding out here today that I remember more than I thought I could.”
She closed her eyes and whispered a silent prayer of thanks. If Jess was remembering the past, perhaps he would include it in the future.
“It wasn’t all pleasant. There are painful memories, too.”
“Do you think anyone can live in this world without suffering in some way?” she asked.
“We can’t eliminate problems, but they are easier to deal with when we have someone to share them with.”
“Someone to love?” she dared to ask.
“Daya taught me that when there is love, there is harmony.”
“Real Tall Man spoke a lot about living in harmony—with each other, with nature, with yourself. Don’t you think that with our love we can manage two worlds?”
He took a deep breath, shook his head, and rubbed the back of his neck. “My father tried. He failed. I can try, Autumn, but what if I fail? There are no guarantees.”
“But, don’t you see, you already have succeeded in blending the two. You took what you needed from each culture when it was time to use it.”
He frowned and she went on to explain, “When I was lost in the wilderness, you used ways of The People to find me. When you were faced with Dr. Davidson and those two killers, you relied on your Anglo thinking to deal with that danger.”
“And you call that managing two worlds?” he asked, not sounding as skeptical now.
“It works in all areas of your life. Think of it this way—you have an extra bank of experience to draw upon. Just like my travels have given me. Each place I’ve been I’ve learned new ways of looking at things. We have an edge that most people don’t have.”
“Now you sound like Daya again. I wish you’d known her.”
Autumn looked up and saw the first evening star twinkle overhead. “Did she know Real Tall Man?”
“They communicated often. She was a medicine woman. They attended many of the same sings.”
Jess watched as Autumn mentally digested the fact that their grandparents had known each other.
What are her thoughts
, he wondered, as he admired the beauty of her face. Her hair draped behind her in a curtain of black silk. He wanted to thread his fingers through it, but before he touched her, they needed to finish their talk.
He wanted to tell her about Daya’s prophecy. She needed to know. Yet if he did, he’d have to admit it was real. He wasn’t sure he was prepared to deal with the import of that admission.
Autumn spoke, breaking his contemplation. “I would have liked to have known her.”
“She told me about you when I was a boy.”
Her gaze swung to his.
He pointed to the canyon below, which had once been the home of the ancient ones. The pile of rubble was hidden in the dark shadows of the coming night. “We were sitting there in the cave. I was probably nine or ten, yet I remember it like it was yesterday.”
He should. The prophecy had been playing over and over in his head ever since he’d returned to Coyote Springs. Reluctantly at first, he began to tell her the dreams. As he spoke, he felt the confidence strengthen his voice. Autumn listened. She didn’t judge or laugh, but focused her attention intently on every word.
In his mind he traveled in time to the afternoon he’d spent with Daya. They’d looked out across the canyon floor while she told him of her dream.
You will be as strong as the eagle of our clan and as clever as the coyote.
He remembered straightening his shoulders and picturing the warrior he wanted to be. Reality was a far cry from the vision.
You will meet a woman, my son, here at Coyote Springs. She will be as beautiful as the deer, with eyes as dark as polished stones and hair that will flow to her waist.
You must be very careful. There will be great danger here in the canyon. There will be many people, but some of them won’t be who they seem. When these walls turn to dust your life will be threatened.
Jess remembered asking her how he would be saved. Her reply echoed through time.
You must be strong and true to your heart. Sing the dream song, my son, and peace and love will be yours.
When he finished talking, Autumn remained silent and motionless. Jess held his breath as he stemmed his anxiety. He wanted to enfold her in his arms, convince her that she was his to love.
He closed his eyes and admitted the truth. He did indeed love Autumn. These past two days without her had taught him he’d have to risk exposing himself to the truth of his past. He needed her in his life, just as Daya had said. His love for a woman would bring him back to the
Dineh
.
“I fought this,” he admitted. “I didn’t want to care for you because I didn’t want to face my fears about being part Indian.”
A frown furrowed her brow. “Are you still fighting?”
He smiled. “Yes.”
The warm sound of her chuckle wrapped around him and soothed the rough edges where doubt had cut into his convictions.
I don’t think I’ll ever resolve the conflict. Something will undoubtedly come up to remind me of past pain.”
“But you won’t let that be a barrier to future joy?” she asked.
He shook his head. “No. I don’t think I have much choice—not according to Daya, anyway.”
“Everything she has predicted has come to pass.” She gestured below. “The walls have turned to dust.”
“And I found the woman with long hair.” Unable to continue to resist, he reached out and smoothed his fingers along the surface of her hair. The slight tremble he felt beneath his hand crumbled his resolve. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders to pull her close, but she backed away and reached into her pocket.
“My aunt gave me this during the sing. It’s my mother. Look who she’s with.”
He glanced at the photo. “It’s Daya.”
“She’s the woman who came to the university and told me about Real Tall Man and the clan.”
To Jess the news was a surprise, but not an unbelievable one.
“How did she know who I was? Do you suppose she kept track of me all those years?”
He nodded, not wanting to consider other possibilities, but knowing he must. “Maybe she helped your mother when she was pregnant. Maybe that’s how she knew who’d adopted you.”
“I’d like to believe that my mother had someone close when she had to go through that.”
Jess pulled her into his arms, and this time she stepped into his embrace. “Does it really make any difference?” he asked. “What matters now is that we are together.”
He liked the way she curved against him. Her body fit perfectly next to his. Wispy images of the dream wove in and out of his consciousness as he held her tight.
For several moments Autumn quietly absorbed the knowledge of Jess’s love and commitment. In the distance the coyote howled. She breathed in Jess’s warm scent as she curved against him. The last rays of light were slowly disappearing, but she felt bright and glowing inside. Jess’s love warmed her heart.
Suddenly, a loud screech echoed in the still air. She and Jess looked up. Overhead the eagle soared, his wings spread wide, silhouetted against the waning light.
“He’s flying home to his mate,” Jess whispered against her temple.
Home.
The word brought joy as she nestled close to her future mate, the Swift Eagle of her heart.
* * * * * * *
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Love’s Dream Song
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