Love's Autograph (13 page)

Ellie struggled to answer,
“Um, adrenaline? It was sharp. I don't know, I was focused on Maggie.”

“
We should get you to the hospital. I can call ahead and get you quickly in and out,” Ria grabbed for her phone.

“
No hospital,” Ellie said. “I'll… can you patch it up?”
I don't want to have to navigate fans and media at the hospital.

“
It needs stitches. It's long and deep,” Ria said. “You don't want a scar.”

“
I don't care about a scar. I can get a cool tattoo to cover it up. Can you stitch it? Come on, you're a doctor. You must have a kit here or something,” Ellie pleaded as she looked around the apartment.

“
You sure?” Ria asked.

“
Yes, please.”

Ria went
to the hall closet and grabbed a small, blue bag. Ria pulled a chair up to Ellie and placed Ellie's arm on the table. Ellie and Ria's faces were a few inches apart. Ellie stared at Ria's face. Ria cut Ellie's shirt above the wound.

“
Man, I loved this shirt,” Ellie said.

“
I’ll buy you another one or you can cut the sleeves off and show off these gorgeous arms,” Ria said.

“
Gorgeous huh?” Ellie said. Ellie stared at Ria's eyes and then her lips before asking, “You have some lucky patients. How many of them have tried to kiss you?”

“
Only one during my residency and he ended up on the floor. He was drunk,” Ria said. “Most of my patients now are under anesthesia while I operate.”

She cleaned up the cut, gave Ellie a local anesth
etic and started to stitch up the wound. Ellie had to look away from the wound and kept her eyes on Ria.

Ria smells so good.
Cartoons blasted from Ria's bedroom.

“
I can't believe the great Doctor Ria Diaz is working on my arm,” Ellie said. “I don't know if I've ever had an internationally celebrated doctor work on me before.”

“
You could have, you never know. Wait, how did you know I'm internationally renowned?”

“
Oh, come on, the paper you wrote about your work in Brazil has been cited in numerous medical journals,” Ellie said. She was excited to finally be able to use the information that she had researched about Ria and her work.

“
I thought you were a musician?” Ria asked.

“
And a babysitter who reads,” Ellie said. “I was interested about your work. So, I…”

“
You read boring medical journals?” Ria asked.

“
Well, to be honest it was all foreign to me, but I did read some articles about you and the abstracts of some medical journals. You're pretty successful for someone so young. At least that's what everyone else says,” Ellie said.

“
Well, successful for being a
woman
is what they really mean. If I was a guy that wouldn't be brought up at all. It's hard being so young, and a woman, and a lesbian and a single mom doing this job.”

Ellie answered,
“I bet, but you're doing it.”

“
Not that well apparently,” Ria said as she glanced toward her bedroom. “Geez, you get a lot of calls, your phone is in my pocket and it keeps going off.”

“
Front or back?” Ellie asked.

“
What?”

“
Is my phone in your front or back pocket?” Ellie asked.

“
Back,” Ria answered. “I'll give it to you when I'm done.”

“
It might be a needed distraction or it might be something urgent,” Ellie said.

“
More urgent than surgery?” Ria asked. Ellie reached behind Ria with her left hand and felt for Ria's pocket. She reached her hand into Ria’s pocket and slowly pulled out her phone. She then put it on the table.

“
What you aren't going to look at it?” Ria asked.

Ellie answered,
“Nope, wanted a chance to touch your ass without getting slapped.”

“
Dangerous move with me having a needle in my hand. It would not be the first time I poked an annoying or fresh patient.”

“
It would be worth it,” Ellie said. “You're gorgeous, and I'm feeling dizzy after seeing all that blood. Please disregard that last statement.” There was some silence and Ellie kept her eyes closed.

“
I'm so sorry this happened Ellie,” Ria said. “Maggie is difficult at times.”

“
Don't worry. It's not a big deal.”

“
Says the woman with a gash in her arm from my daughter. You aren't going to press charges are you? Oh, please don't. That can't happen again. She didn't mean to.”

“
Calm down. No, I'm not going to press charges as long as you aren't going to send me a medical bill. Why would you even think that?”

“
Because people press charges,” Maggie said as she walked into the room. “I did that?”

“
Maggie honey, it’s okay,” Ria said.

“
I did that?” Maggie repeated.

“
I think
we
did this,” Ellie said. “Come over here. It's okay.” Maggie hesitated but made it halfway across the room.

“
I'm sorry. Don't make me go away. I'm sorry,” Maggie said.

“
Wow, nobody is going anywhere,” Ellie said. “Come here Maggie, please.”

Maggie walked closer.

“You ever see your mother at work? She's a genius. She's stitching like there is nothing to it. She stitches like you play guitar.”

“
You think I’m that good?” Maggie asked.

“
Better than great. I'm a pro and you picked this up faster than me at your age,” Ellie said.

“
Mom, you’re pretty talented at that,” Maggie said.

“
Thank you Maggie, I have had a lot of practice. Ellie here is a good patient,” Ria winked at Maggie.

Even with the blood and pain,
I'm falling like a ton of cinder blocks for Ria.

“
I’ll need a new shirt though,” Ellie said.

“
Am I going to have to go away?” Maggie looked at Ria.

“
No, Ellie isn't going to press charges. We might have to go to Brittany extra this week, okay?”

“
Okay. Remember Brittany is my therapist,” Maggie said to Ellie. “I hurt you.”

“
It was an accident,” Ellie said.

“
No, I meant to stab you,” Maggie said.

“
Maggie!” Ria said.

“
Does that mean that you will press charges now?” Maggie said. “Or do I have to stab you again for you to leave?”

“
Maggie, I think it's time for you to go back into my room,” Ria said.

“
Okay after I grab some cookies,” Maggie answered.

“
No. In your, I mean,
my
room!” Ria raised her voice. Maggie walked without emotion back to Ria's room. Ria finished the last couple of stitches on Ellie's arm. A drop fell on Ellie's arm. Ria was crying. “I'm sorry about that. I was hoping she hadn't done it on purpose.”

“
It's okay,” Ellie said. “She's a kid and she'll get through this.”

“
Will she? Will she?” Ria asked.

“
I don't know,” Ellie said. “I guess it's something you say.”

“
All set,” Ria said. “Take some Tylenol to take care of the pain. I can check it for infection tomorrow if you want. Or you can go to your doctor.” Ria started to clean up the medical supplies on the table.

Ellie reached over with her left arm and pulled Ria into her. Ria resisted at first but Ellie pulled harder. Ria's head awkwardly leaned on Ellie's shoulder. Ria's body shook and Ellie threw her other arm around Ria and pulled her close. Ellie ran her hand over Ria's head, and kissed her on the forehead.
“It's so hard. Just so hard.” Ellie decided not to respond with a token answer, and kept silent.

Ria relaxed her body and threw her arms around Ellie's waist. Ria's torso fell awkwardly between Ellie's legs. Ria abruptly pulled away from Ellie and stood up.

“So, I should get Maggie's room cleaned up and get the day going,” Ria said as she wiped the tears from her face.

“
Can I do anything?” Ellie asked.

“
Um, no, I think it would be best if you go.”

“
Okay, please call if you need anything,” Ellie said. “I'm really sorry that Maggie is mad at me. I never meant to...”

“
I know. I'll call you if I need anything,” Ria leaned in and gave Ellie a quick hug. Ellie held on longer, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Ellie left the apartment.

She text
ed Jazzie,
Can you come pick me up?

Jazzie text
ed,
Be there in ten.

Dina and Ellie exchanged texts.

Did you tell her or ask her out yet
, Dina asked.

Ellie rolled her eyes and answered,
No
…

Why not?
!
Dina asked.

Didn't seem like the right time
, Ellie answered.

Chicken. Don't make me take this into my own hand
, Dina warned.

Le
t's go out to eat or something to nurse my aching heart
, Ellie said.

Spare me the drama
, Dina declined Ellie's invitation.

The next day Ellie got a message from Ria,
How's your arm?

Ellie texted back,
Good. I'm fine. How's Maggie?

Ellie's phone rang
and it was Ria, “Hi,” Ellie answered.

“
Hi, how's your arm? Any swelling? I should check for infection,” Ria said.

“
My doctor examined it already. She said it’s fine,” Ellie said. “And Maggie?”

“
Maggie is fine. We went to see her therapist Brittany. She assessed her for homicidal ideation and she's cleared. I got scolded for not calling a crisis team or getting her assessed by anyone else yesterday,” Ria said.

Ellie said,
“Scolded by a therapist? Are they allowed to do that? Not sure if I like this Brittany.”

“
I guess so. Well, Brittany is a Goddess’ send. Sometimes I feel like she's my therapist more than Maggie's,” Ria said.

“
What did she say about yesterday?” Ellie asked.

“
She said that Maggie's behavior might be a combo of attachment issues and anger management issues,” Ria said. “Maggie says only good things about you. When you didn't show up for dinner, Maggie thought that was a rejection of her. So Brittany said she wanted to push you away.”

“
Yeah, I got that from Maggie when she said ‘do I have to stab you again?’” Ellie said.

“
Brittany said that when Maggie was talking to her she admitted that it was an accident with the glass, and she only said that she did it on purpose to make you mad,” Ria said.

“
Well, that's a relief. I don't need another fan planning to stab me,” Ellie said.

“
How can you make a joke about this?”

Ellie said.
“When I get nervous, I use humor. Okay, so now what?”

“
Maggie will see Brittany twice a week for a while. We also agreed to a safety plan that for any self-harming or harming others behavior or statements we'll call a crisis team or go to the hospital.”

“
Oh,” Ellie said. “How are you doing?”

“
You know, a mess,” Ria said.

“
What can I do?”

“
Nothing. This is just my life. Maggie has problems, and we deal with them. I adjust to what she needs,” Ria took several breaths between her words. She sounded as if she was crying.

“
Well, you’re a great mother. She's lucky, and even though you are great, you need help sometimes.”

“
There's nothing you can do right now,” Ria said. “I'll let you know if there is something.”

Ellie sat facing a huge microphone in a dark radio studio. An overweight, scruffy man sat across from her and studied a tablet in front of him. His face stubble was comprised mostly of gray hairs with some black hairs here and there. He had some hair poking out of one of his ears. His hair’s favorite game was hide-and-seek with a brush.

Ellie had not seen Maggie or Ria in two weeks. It was not from lack of trying on Ellie's part. Ellie had texted, called, and sent pictures. Ria either did not respond or would have flat responses.
Ria was busy with work, going out with Gwen, and with Maggie.

Ellie's days dragged on. Ellie thought about pacing in front of their apartment building, hiring a private investigator to find out places they frequented, and even injuring herself so that Dr. Diaz would have to operate on her. Ellie's mind wandered as she waited for the interview to start. The DJ's booming voice broke her from her wandering.

“So, I'm Crayton, here with EJ Way, whose
Struck Tour
kicks off in two weeks,” the scruffy DJ said. “How are you today, EJ?”

“
I'm fine. Thanks for having me on your show,” Ellie answered.

“
Glad to have you. What can people expect from your tour this year?”

“
Well, they can expect a lot of surprises, tons of energy, and great music,” Ellie answered.

“
Some critics are talking about how the album
Struck
is the quote “ultimate break up album.” Best album since Melissa Etheridge's
Breakdown
album. What do you have to say to that?”

“
Well, I'm not even in the same league as Melissa. It’s flattering to be compared to her. I guess all I can say is that I write about how I'm feeling, and that's how the albums come out.”

“
Don't you think this will change your image? Your other albums are more light-hearted and easy-going.”

“
If it changes my image by having me look human and not invincible to feelings, then so be it. People are buying the album, so I guess they like it.”

“
There is some insinuation that
Struck
was inspired by your relationship with Jenny Vito.”

“
Yeah, I've heard that,” Ellie said. “When you're in the public's eye, they make a lot of assumptions.”

“
So, you didn't have a bad break up with Jenny?”

“
If someone tells you that their break up wasn't bad they are either lying or didn't care to begin with,” Ellie said.

“
Okay, what about now. You have a new love in your life?”

Ellie paused,
“No, not right now.”

“
You sure about that. There was a hesitation.” The DJ had picked up on her delayed answer.

“
Well, I did have an interest, but she... well we'll see, only time will tell,” Ellie said.

“
Who's this person? Another rock star? An actress? A fan?”

Ellie quickly answered,
“None of the above, and I'm not putting her into the media's hands.”

“
You forget who you're talking to. I'll find out who it is. If anyone out there is EJ's new love interest, I'd love to hear about you. Give me a call, and we might even bring you on the show.”

“
Alright, alright. How about I play a song instead?” Ellie said. Ellie played a song from
Struck
and ended the interview. Ellie walked out of the radio studio and called Robert. She told him that she did not want to go back on that radio station. Robert pretended to agree with her.

“
Remember EJ, any publicity is good publicity,” Robert said.

Ellie reached the lobby to find a mob of fans outside the radio station. Someone had the foresight to lock the main doors. Ellie called Clara and there was no answer.
Why did I come here without her today?
Her phone blipped with many texts from Jazzie about the mob forming outside.

“
Miss Way?” a sweet voice came from behind her. There stood a girl who looked to be about six. She had long blonde hair.

“
EJ,” Ellie answered.

“
EJ, I know a way you can get out of here.” the blonde said.

Ellie answered,
“Oh yeah, how?” She half expected her to say to use fairy dust.

The little girl continued,
“This whole block of shops is connected. You can go through all the shops to the other side of the block. They’ll never get you.” The little girl clasped her hands together and squealed at her last statement.

“
Or I can just call the police,” Ellie said.

“
That will take forever and it gets ugly,” the little girl emphasized the word ugly.

“
Okay, let’s try your way,” Ellie said.
I can’t believe I’m putting my welfare in this little girl’s hands.
The girl led Ellie through a hallway, through a storage room and then to a locked, thick metal door. She pounded on the door harder than Ellie would have thought possible with her little fists. There was no answer. She pounded again. A lock turned and the door opened. Light streamed into the storage room blinding Ellie.

“
Hi, Sissy, can she pass through, please?” the little girl asked.

“
Sure, Amy,” a graying woman replied. “Is this one of your famous types?”

“
The most,” Amy answered. “You can take it from here EJ.”

“
Thank you, Amy,” Ellie answered. She followed the older woman to the back of the store. She unlocked a similar metal door and tapped on the door.

“
Yoo-hoo!” The woman called. “It might take a few moments. He is slow and hard of hearing. Yoo-hoo!” The door unlocked and a middle aged red-haired woman answered.

“
Oh Olivia, Dick isn’t working?” the old woman asked.

Olivia answered,
“No, dad had me work today. Going through, EJ?”

“
Yes, please,” Ellie answered. Ellie went through six doors total and landed in a sweets shop. She hid in the backroom of the shop as she texted her new location to Jazzie. Within a minute Jazzie pulled up and Ellie sprinted to the car. Ellie sank into the car's comfortable seats. “That was intense!”

“
How did you get all the way over here?” Jazzie asked.

Ellie answered,
“A blonde angel found me an escape route. I went through the doors that connect all the shops. We just kept knocking on doors and going through a clothing store, a birdhouse store, a jewelry store, an art store, a shoe store and finally the sweet shop.”

Jazzie said,
“Kinda like an underground railroad or such.”

“
Not as heroic or exciting as that,” Ellie said. “Next time I'm bringing security.” Ellie opened her phone. No message from Ria.

“
You haven't been to the love of your life's apartment in a while,” Jazzie looked in the rear view mirror as she called back. “Is that who you were talking about on the radio?”

Ellie answered,
“Yes, she isn't interested, and like I said before, it was complicated.”

Jazzie said,
“Okay, let's grab some food and you can tell me all about the complications.”

Ellie and Jazzie grabbed some burgers, fries and sodas. Ellie moved to the front seat so they could have
a real conversation, one that felt less Freudian or confession-booth-like. Ellie told Jazzie how Maggie was mad at her, Ria was dating Gwen, and neither of them knew that she was EJ.

“
Doesn't sound so complicated,” Jazzy said. “Well, you messed things up by letting her think you were a babysitter, but maybe not.”

“
Why? What do you mean?”

“
Well, the way to a man's heart is his stomach, as much as the way to a mother's heart is through her child,” Jazzie said. “So as I see it, you're pretty golden. You fix this thing with the little girl and you're still in.”

“
Yeah, easier said than done. I was on Maggie's good side for so long, and Ria still didn't know I existed.”

“
So, what you going to do?”

“
Well, I go on tour soon so there’s no use trying to start things up until I get back,” Ellie said. “I guess I just keep sending her texts and calling her, she might come around. Right?”

“
I hope not, then I might have a shot at you still,” Jazzie said. “Because once she gets hold of you, there’s no going back.”

“
You're too much for me to handle,” Ellie joked and punched Jazzie in the arm. “Thanks for listening. What am I going to do without you when I'm on tour?”

“
I have no idea. I was thinking that myself,” Jazzie said.