Lover's Knot (39 page)

T
he distance between Lock Hollow houses was considerable, the terrain formidable. But still, news snaked from one part of the hollow to the other, traveling up ridges, along stream banks, over roads so rough that wagons couldn’t travel them. On the day Leah began to suspect she at last might be pregnant, the news she’d tried to hide reached Jesse through his stepfather, Luther Collins: Leah had been meeting secretly with Daniel Flaherty, and Flaherty was so taken with her that he had offered her prime land near the Shenandoah River.

The sun was disappearing behind the trees when Leah looked up to see Jesse bearing down on her. She had been trying to repair a hole in the chicken wire surrounding their henhouse, although she wasn’t sure she hadn’t made the situation worse. A fox had made off with their best layer during the night, and she was afraid that Jesse, who had worked in their orchard all day with his stepfather, wouldn’t have a chance to fix the enclosure before the fox made a second raid.

Jesse had spoken to her so seldom in the past weeks that at first she felt a thrill of anticipation. He had come to find her. Maybe at last they would talk about the future. Maybe, if all went well, she could tell him she might be having his baby. Would that give him the reason he needed to abandon his plan to remain on their land even if it meant war with the authorities?

“You Jezebel!”

Alarm filled her. Now that he was closer, she could see the fury written on his features. She knew, without another word, that he had discovered her meetings with Daniel. Guilt and shame told her so.

She didn’t cower. She straightened and stood tall, and she didn’t flinch when he raised his hand. “No Spurlock hits a woman. And no Blackburn lets him.”

His hand hovered in the air, descended, then fell to his side. “You are a faithless Jezebel.”

She didn’t pretend not to know what he meant. “I’ve been faithful to you, although why I should be is a puzzlement. You abandoned me months ago.”

“Tell me you didn’t take land from that man. Tell me you didn’t lie with him!”

“I didn’t lie with him. And he has offered
us
land, but I reckon it’s been hard to tell you so, since you won’t speak to me.”

“No man gives a gift without getting something in return!”

She wilted a little, because she knew he was right. Daniel clearly had expectations. She was sure he was in love with her, and the things he’d done, he had done because of it.

“I’ve never led him to expect anything.” She thought of the one kiss, and she was sure her cheeks reflected the memory, as well. She pleaded with her eyes. “But I have been so lonely, Jesse, I have spoken to him just to hear the sound of my voice.”

He stared at her. His eyes were dark coals. Her handsome, charming husband was suddenly a man who was angry enough to kill. She felt a shiver of fear. The silence stretched; she found it difficult to breathe.

Finally, as if he had made a decision, he turned away.

“You go with him.” His voice was tight, as if it were coming from some terrible, smothering place inside him. “You go with that Daniel Flaherty, Leah. And you leave the rest of us here to tend what still belongs to us. You go, and don’t come back. Take whatever you will. I want nothing that ever belonged to you.”

She felt as if he had hit her after all. “This farm belongs to me.”

“Trade it to the devil, then. The Spurlock place is mine by rights. That’s where I’ll be when they come to burn down this house.”

She risked everything by grabbing his arm. “Jesse, it’s you I love. That hasn’t changed. But you been keeping apart from me. And I don’t know what to do about it. We had to plan, and you wouldn’t. I…” She swallowed. “I think maybe I’m having a baby, Jesse. And a baby needs a place to live, a place where we can be happy.”

He shook off her arm and whirled. “And whose baby would it be?”

Her eyes widened. “You can ask me that?”

“I don’t remember a time when we were together of late, do you?”

“That night by the woodpile!
I
remember you could hardly do it fast enough.”

For a moment something flickered in his eyes—a doubt, perhaps, a realization that he might, after all, be a father. Then his expression hardened.

“We went more’n a year without making a baby, and you say it happened just like that?”

“That’s the way of it.”

“Not so I ever heard.”

“I reckon you don’t know all the secrets of a woman’s body!”

“Maybe someday I’ll stop by that grand house of yours on the river and look to see if this child you’re carrying appears to be anything like me. But you go on now, ’cause I don’t think there’s much to worry about. You go on, you and that baby’s father!”

That he could be this cruel nearly destroyed her. Tears sprang to her eyes. She let out a wail, fell to a stump beside the fence and covered her face.

When her weeping had ebbed, she saw he was gone. The tears had washed away the edge of her sorrow but none of her anger. She had bared her soul, and he had rejected her, her and the child she might be carrying. She saw no hope for them now, no glimpse of a future together. She understood that Jesse felt betrayed. Now she was sorry that she had ever spoken to Daniel, and sorrier still that she had let him comfort and kiss her. And yet Daniel, unlike anyone else in her life, had offered solace and a way to face the unknown.

And Daniel was offering a life after Lock Hollow.

“Leah?”

She whirled to find Birdie limping toward her. She put her hand over her heart.

“Why are you crying?”

Leah shuddered. Birdie had witnessed the way Jesse had treated her over the past months. She’d told Leah it was shameful and Leah deserved better. Although she had been unfailingly kind to Jesse, in the sisters’ private moments, Birdie had voiced her qualms. Clearly, she was an ally.

Leah stumbled through an explanation of everything that had transpired. Birdie bit her lip. Her lovely face shone with pity.

“Yesterday a robin came a-flying into the house when I opened the door to shake the rug. I knew then—”

“Birdie!”

Birdie fell silent.

Leah stifled a sob. “Jesse told me to leave.”

“Surely he don’t mean to say that.” Birdie didn’t sound convinced.

“How can we stay?”

“Mama said things shouted in anger fester by the first light of dawn. You could tell him you’re sorry.”

“It’s not so simple!”

“Then maybe you should do as he says.” Birdie rested her hands on Leah’s shoulders. “Hear me. I know marriage binds you forever. But surely there are times, like this one, when vows are only words best forgotten. I been watching, and I seen the way Jesse treats you, and it’s shameful. You only want what’s best. And you been meeting with that Mr. Flaherty to get what’s best for us. I seen it, and I know what I seen. And if you want, I will go and tell Jesse Spurlock myself.”

“No!”

“Then what’s there to be done? Your husband don’t want you. Another man, a better man, does. And he has a place for you. What does Jesse have?”

Jesse had her heart, but Leah was certain now that her heart meant nothing to him. Jesse might be the father of a child they had created together, yet even that news had not caused him to relent.

“Will Mr. Flaherty know what to do?” Birdie asked.

Leah felt numb. If Jesse knew about her friendship with Daniel, everyone in the hollow probably knew the story, too. And whether the story was right or wrong, she would still be shunned. The farm was no longer hers by law. And now the hollow was no longer hers by rumor and innuendo.

“Do you care after this Mr. Flaherty?” Birdie asked, when Leah didn’t answer.

“He’s kinder than Jesse will ever be.”

“Then go to him this night. Tell him what all you told me.”

“And what will you do?” For the first time that evening, Leah remembered that Birdie depended on her to make things right. Their mother had left Birdie and this farm in Leah’s care. This terrible moment was not just about her failed marriage or about losing the land, it was about her sister’s health and safety. She had no choice but to find another home for Birdie and herself, and one was waiting. All she had to do was say yes.

The home first, then perhaps, later, when her heart had mended, she would consider the man who had made it possible.

“I’ll wait here.” Birdie tossed her head. “I’ll wait until you settle in. Etta will come if I ask. She’ll help until you come back for me.”

“You could go with me tonight.”

Birdie held up her hand. “I cain’t be ready tonight. But while you’re a-planning what to do, I’ll get things prepared. All our things, yours and mine. And when you come back, I’ll be ready then.”

“I…” Leah could think of no other solution.

Birdie nodded. “It’s best this way. You know it’s so.”

Leah didn’t know anything except that she had never felt so miserable. Once some neighbor men had gathered to dig a well for a family a ridge away. She and her mother had gone to help with the meal that always accompanied such an event. When the food was nearly done, Leah had gone to watch the excavation, when, suddenly, without warning, the well, which had not been properly reinforced, collapsed on the two men deep in the hole. Her life was like that well. The men had been rescued just in time, but there would be no rescue for her.

“I will go and talk to Daniel,” she said with a heavy heart. “I’ll go and see the land on the river, so I can decide if it’s the right place to go.”

“We’ll pack just what you can carry.”

Leah realized she was crying. Birdie’s eyes were wet, as well. “I never thought being married would be like this,” Leah said.

“Maybe it’s good you never had a little ’un. Maybe that’s something to be glad about now.”

Leah hadn’t told Birdie she might be carrying Jesse’s child. And now she didn’t want to make the truth about her husband sound even harsher. Jesse and Birdie had always been friends. Birdie deserved to remember him with some degree of fondness.

Jesse was absent when they got to the house. With little conversation, they chose the things Leah would need to take with her. They wrapped the small bundle in a worn sheet and tied it tight. Leah washed quickly and changed her clothes, donned her everyday shoes, plaited her hair. Her hands trembled as she did. She felt as if she were living a dream.

She had no appetite for the supper Birdie had prepared, but Birdie forced her to take a wedge of cornpone and a piece of chicken.

She left her sister at the front door after a fierce, prolonged hug. Both women were sobbing. “I’ll be back for you,” Leah promised. “You be ready.”

“That’s what I’ll be doing while you’re gone.”

“You send word to Etta through Jesse, so you won’t be alone.”

The skies were darkening quickly. Leah started down the road to the farm where she knew Daniel and his assistant were living. She had never been there to meet him, but she suspected the two men were using the abandoned house for shelter. It wasn’t much, but it was better than a tent.

She hadn’t expected to meet Daniel on the road, but when she was out of sight of her own house, she saw him coming toward her. Unlike Birdie, she didn’t believe in signs. But this seemed right and just to her. She didn’t have to seek out Daniel. He had come for her.

He seemed surprised to see her, but of course, he didn’t know any of what had passed tonight.

“Leah?” He sprang forward and took her hands. “What’s this?”

“I’m leaving Jesse. I was coming to look for you.”

His face was impossible to read in the moonlight, but he chafed her hands. The air was turning cooler, and he warmed them in his. She knew she should appreciate his touch, but his hands felt soft. They weren’t Jesse’s hands, hardened by work, hands with long, sensitive fingers. Daniel’s fingers were short, and his hands were damp.

“What happened?” he asked.

She told him what she could. “I cain’t stay with him,” she finished. “He told me to come to you, and here I am.”

“You did the right thing. He’s treated you badly. You certainly deserve better.”

She wished he would drop her hands. And she wished he were standing farther away. She felt the weight of his presence as if his body were flush against hers. For the first time, she noticed the way he smelled. Not like a man coming in from a day outside in the fresh air, but overpoweringly sweet, like the blossoms of valerian, which she grew as a soothing tea.

She took a step back, and he dropped her hands. “You’re upset. I understand. Why don’t you come back with me? Have you had supper?”

He was being kind. She heard concern in his voice. She wished Jesse had sounded half as concerned, that her husband had gripped her hands in his and tried to warm them. Daniel had done all the right things.

Yet it was Jesse she still yearned for. And always would.

In that moment, she understood that she would never love this man. Not in months, not in years. This wasn’t a temporary reluctance, born of the chaos and sorrow of the past hour. For the first time, she saw clearly that even though her marriage was in shambles, she couldn’t abandon it. She couldn’t abandon her husband. She had taken a vow to love Jesse until death parted them. She had failed, and so had he, but they could try again. She wouldn’t use his anger as an excuse to find a better life. She wouldn’t use it as a convenient reason for choosing someone else.

“No, I cain’t go with you,” she said. “I cain’t ever marry you. I’m sorry. I was wrong.”

“Marry?” He looked puzzled.

“Marry you and live with you by the river. I don’t love you. I love my husband. I’m going to find him and make him take me back.”